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my special goodbye to colombianoX

I kind of miss colombianoX. Thought I was never into that patriotic Colombian crap like he was, I respected his unwavering stand no matter how much we badgered him. To be honest, if I had a choice to change my nationally I’ll rather be Mexican, or NYC born gringo, even a French modefoque.
I recall the first time I started spewing my tasteless, vulgar, offensive, garbage on this site, he immediately was able to figure me out and correctly labeled me a “chusma” that’s when I realized this kid is smart , how the hell did he know so quickly that I’m in fact a “chusma” or low life from the ghettos of NYC. Some may find it hard to believe and accept, but I have great pride in being a low life, I can’t imagine being anything else. I was born a low life and plan to die a low life. My vision is to be slumped over a bar table in some, hot dusty hell hole with loud vallenato playing, drunken, toothless, ugly sweaty, broke ass modefoques dancing around me and no one there noticing that I’m one very dead sonamanbiche until I start to stink up the place. My grandfather died like that, but I found him before he began to rot. I always enjoyed hanging out in bars, my granpa used to take me there since I was and infant, the same barra where he croked.
ColombianoX and I share something which many here don’t realize, our intense desire for colombian women, but we were both equally rejected by them for different reasons. He wanted a Colombiana to truly love, respect and to hold but they all rather be held by Bobby with the blue passport from North Carolina or Charles and his crumpets from England etc. and that I felt brought him great pain, sorrow and anger, that’s why he lashed out many times. I, on the other hand could not care less if colombianas chased and got on all fours for them, as long as I got a piece of that action too. Many times I paid for their affection and let me tell you, the 10 mil pesos was not worth it, give me a gringa or Puerto Rican anytime. I never had to pay them a dime and in fact they supported my lazy ass.
There was a time I wanted to introduce my daughter to colombianoX, we travel to Florida often, but she only likes them dark merengue dancing, presidente beer drinking, platano between legs dominicanos. Are there any colombianas out there that prefer dating other colombianos, I don’t think so! and for that reason I ask colombianoX to forget about them and go after those real pretty fine cubanitas from Miami, they’ll appreciate a stand up guy like him, with integrity, intelligence, pride and give him all the happiness he deserves.

By elmodefoque on Sep 23, 2005, 06:49 in Friendly Talkzone.

kat1 (Moderator) says on Sep 23, 2005, 08:22:

Elmo if something else in your mind apart from ban***women

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OO7 says on Sep 23, 2005, 08:32:

psychiatric evaluation I’ve been reading through your posting and I sense you had a very difficult childhood; a childhood that has hunted you throughout your life. The manner in which you speak about Colombian women leads me to believe that your relationship with your mother wasn’t ideally what you desired, or perhaps your experience with your childhood sweetheart turned out harmful or maybe rejection from a female left you so devastated that you rather not associate yourself with any of them from the same group. Such experiences often can lead to a life of self-unworthiness, low self-steam, destructive behavior, pain and even anger; anger, in this case, towards women from Colombia. I also believe the bond you have developed with ColombianoX has come about from the experiences you have in common – rejection.

Well, I’m happy to tell you that your “problem” has a treatment and to further evaluate you I would be willing to offer you a psychiatric evaluation at no cost. That is the least a Colombian can do for another Colombian in need.

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morphus says on Sep 23, 2005, 08:55:

ha ha thats not a bad way to croak. or dropping dead at 90 in a whorehouse with a bottle of booze would'nt be bad either. i agree. ColombianoX should start going for Puerto Rican and Cuban chicas. they seem to be low maintenace. i know some Puerto Rican and Cuban guys that have 90% of their net worth tied up into a nice car. they buy a few nice clothes and get some hot girls. ColombianX could do the same. i myself, give up on Puerto Rican girls. sometimes i snag one because they are curious about White guys. they are not used to a White guy walking up to them and being aggressive like me. after a couple of dates they realize that they can't bring home a White guy that looks like one of those mean Irish cops that elmodefoque talks about to meet their brothers and the rest of the family.

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Neonovo says on Sep 23, 2005, 09:00:

Leave it to Elmo... Elmo not only sees right through all the daily BS, but he can also describe the missing essense with stinging accuracy. Regardless of how much french, mex, or gringo he wants to be, his prose exposes his colombian-soul, torched by incessant personal, cultural and historical upheaval.
His colombian humor is all the funnier because it comes thinly vailed in the mantle of the tragicomedy that envolopes Colombia, its history, culture, and its people.
Imagine living in paradise, then all of a suddend, a bunch of strangers show up and give you a choice: "De cual quieren; de ¿éste? o de ¿éste? while showing you on one hand a bible, and on the other a sharp steel-sword. Eversince thngs have gone down hill.
Leave it to colombianos like Elmo to come through, with banter and humor for ever making light of the eternal nightmare.

Paz
Neonovo

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Crazy4Cali says on Sep 23, 2005, 09:06:

I don't know about you, but I got all choked up reading elmo's eulogy. Elmo is quite the character and is clearly in touch with his feminine side (and probably many other sides that I can't even begin to imagine).

Seriously, though, that was quite a thoughtful post.

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Miguel says on Sep 23, 2005, 09:09:

007 Better than "sensing" about elmo's childhood, just do a search and you can read about it. IMHO, "changing" elmodofoque would be like uprighting the Leaning Tower of Pisa, putting the arms back on Venus, or painting The Gateway Arch McDonald's yellow. HE is piece of work.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Sep 23, 2005, 09:24:

Eso si, burro viejo dejenlo quieto

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elmodefoque says on Sep 23, 2005, 09:42:

Maybe I do have a problem with Colombian women that began from my childhood. I grew up a little motherless modefoque. My mother left us and took off with a full fledge corroncho bus driver when I was about 8. But, that’s stuff don’t really bother me, as a matter of fact I kind of like the old broad she understand me well and accepts that I’m a heartless modefoque. Maybe I really ain't got no heart, but that would be impossible, how could my body function with that thing pumping blood.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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SirTropical says on Sep 23, 2005, 10:01:

dude..DuDe...DUDE !!!! let me tell you elmodefoque.. eventhough you try hard.. you just sound like a character taken directly from a second edition of "100 years of solitude".. DUDE can be more colombian than that !!!

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kike says on Sep 23, 2005, 11:53:

elmo,
your post is great, just like a damm real colombian story...or some chronicle of an announced personal disaster in a dusty ugly colombian town.
you're right about the kut PRs...or the cubanitas...and better, lets not talk of our gringas

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kernow62 says on Sep 23, 2005, 12:07:

Wait a second, I thought ColombianoX was an American with the blue passport. You mean he was rejected by the ladies and with the blue passport? I find that hard to believe. Did he ever go to Colombia? Surely he could have waved around the passport, spoken a few words in Spanish and stuck a Benjamin on his forehead and scored big time.

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tomtom33 says on Sep 23, 2005, 12:09:

kike Nice name. Bet G5 will love it.

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elmodefoque says on Sep 23, 2005, 12:15:

Excellent point kernow, but I think he wanted a colombiana that wanted him for him and not that blue passport and those are hard to come by, I know, I tried! A blue passport and a 20 in your forehead are fantastic bait and the only bait that works in Colombia.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kernow62 says on Sep 23, 2005, 12:22:

How can you ever be sure Elmo, you just have to enjoy them while you can and if they bugger off for some handsome young stud, you pick yourself up and get another one. No use in searching searching searching for Miss Right and not getting getting getting any from Miss Maybe.

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elmodefoque says on Sep 23, 2005, 12:24:

007, I appreciate your offer, but this nut is really hard to crack and I would not want to waist your time. I mean this with all sincerity, I’m very grateful.
I’m really a happy and content stupid modefoque with lots of good friends, great kids and a wife who refuses to dump my ass. I find myself luckier than most Colombians; I’m now in a position in which I could enjoy both the north and south side of Barranquilla. One evening you might see my black ass stepping outta El Prado hotel heading toward La Kama nightclub with the upper middle class barranquilleros and the next evening I could be sweating bricks while stepping on dog shit outside a club in Soledad with all the poor modefoques.
i'm off!

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Mr. Hollywood says on Sep 23, 2005, 12:49:

Net worth Morpheus wrote "i know some Puerto Rican and Cuban guys that have 90% of their net worth tied up into a nice car. they buy a few nice clothes and get some hot girls. "

Hell, that's nothing. Elmo has 95% of his net worth tied up in an old bicycle, and his clothes are rags, yet he still gets hot girls.

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morphus says on Sep 23, 2005, 20:57:

i thought Elmodefoque drives a 1985 Subaru or something like that? he's getting old. i'm sure that the hot chicks he gets are mostly attracted to his charm. he reminds of one guy i know. i was at the guy's house and saw a picture of a hot girl. i asked who it was? he said "its some broad i'm banging." i looked on the back of the picture and it said 1979...lol.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Sep 23, 2005, 21:09:

Hah If he's been banging her since 1979 the guy's really got some staying power.

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utopiacowboy says on Sep 23, 2005, 22:37:

That guy deserves a medal for 25 years of servicing. Maybe the Congressional Medal of Humping or the Distinguished Servicing Award.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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