mi novela

i was born in cali in a little house full of sadness and resentment, my granddad had died 3 months before i was born we're talking many many years ago.. well not too long!! i don't want anybody to think i'm old! haha what if i am?? anyway my grandad was really patriotic he worked hard for his community and was a member of the M-19 he was diagnosed with cancer and died a slow and painful death, my father had to work his ass off to pay all the hospital expenses and other debts, he work so damn hard that he even made about 20 million pesos which was a lot of money back then, he worked day and night driving big trucks all around the country as well as managing a little corner shop owned by the family, he did not buy anything for my mother or for me he didn't even buy himself any shoes so that he could pay all the debts.

my uncle was incharge of all the finances he used to manage all the money my father made for both businesses but all the mo---rfu--er did was snort coke all day and go clubbing all night, party with prostitues and spend all the money that my father made that's what my uncle did.. what a great help he was!! my father almost killed him!! so my father tired of being a good brother and a good citizen turned into a lavaperro anyone associated with colombian mafia would know what a lavaperro is.

he used to dissapear for days but always came back with lots of money my uncle joined him so did my cousin they were so busy making money that they forgot about the dangers of living a traketo life. my uncle was killed first 8 bullets to the chest 1 to the head in front of all his children, wife my mother and me. my cousing came second he was shot while riding his bike, he was so drunk that he barely noticed he got shot and by the time he cried for help it was too late he left 2 babies and a young wife. my dad was one of the lucky guys he decided to leave it all behind started working again helping the community trying to forget about it all but he was too deep in, people came looking for us so we decided to flee and that's why we're not in colombia this happened many years ago and he still scared to go back.

my uncle's children didn't turn out to be good citizens either they're the heads of one of el retiros gangs in cali most of them having been killed before they reach the age of 20, the girls are sicarios too they are real pros now that their brothers are no longer alive to provide for them. and there's little old me living far away from it all well not really como dice el dicho hijo de tigre sale pintado! i, like my dad love to live on the wild side it's a real turn on to live dangerously only i now the messes i get into but that's for me to know and for you to find out! meanwhile i act like the good citizen that everybody thinks i am and i am whenever i feel like it!! but you see i get bored of monotony, i get tired of being a goody goody all the time and that's when my dark side comes out!

By nanis on Dec 28, 2004, 10:36 in Friendly Talkzone.

elmodefoque says on Dec 28, 2004, 10:39:

you found your man! me! i could not possibly be any darker, in every sense of the word. let's meet!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

elmodefoque says on Dec 28, 2004, 10:42:

damn girl, all my life i been looking for a colombiana just like you. my wife is all that and more, but she's freaking nancy reagan, she got no dark side.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

ReinaDeLa Baile says on Dec 28, 2004, 10:51:

WACK Elmo - I just printed this out for your commandante to read and I canhear her wacking you with the telephone in your cabeza right now amigo...........jejeje, besos - la reina

oldbongo says on Dec 28, 2004, 10:54:

i don't blame you... for drinking all the aguardiente,
so i'll give you the recipe for the arepas anyway.
but not yet,...

nanis says on Dec 28, 2004, 10:55:

elmo what more could you ask for? it seems that your wife it's a real lady! i reall try to be like that.. a good person, good wife etc but my dark past keeps haunting me.. haha no mentiras i'm just bored of playing the good person role all the time there needs to be some madness in me! i guess that's in my genes...

elmodefoque says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:07:

I got them in my genes too, I’m a freaking crazy mess. My good side comes to work and is faithful to my wife, but the dark side wants to go back and do the things we used to do like snorting lots of coke, jumping in bed with 2 or more broads, going back into the business and take a chance of doing more time. I hope my good side stays strong, because it is so tempting and you are too damn tempting to me, I’m getting all weak in the knees. .

Reina mi amor, I’m lucky that my wife hates playing around in the computer or else I’ll be in trouble. She only uses the computer to pay bills.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

nanis says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:16:

same here elmo, my husband is the only one that keeps me sane these days.. well at least that's what he thinks

elmodefoque says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:17:

Mira pela, why don’t we take a weekend and have our dark side go wild with each other. That will make you and your spouse happier, because you have releases something that’s been driving you nuts, and you’ll be better for it.

hey reina, donde carajo esta esa foto que me prometiste.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

nanis says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:23:

hey take it easy elmo i'll post some pics this week and you better not be thinking like that or else your wife is gonna chop your bolas right off!!!

elmodefoque says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:29:

sorry for the confusion, i meant ReinaDelBaile. ella me prometio una foto.

Mrs. G, i love to see a pic of you too, pero que salgan esas nalgas. te voy a decir la verdad, es muy posible que me voy hacer esa cosa que hacen todos los manes en el baño con fotos de mujeres que quieren poner en cuatro. me gusta ser bien honesto!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

nanis says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:31:

good for you but too much info elmo

elmodefoque says on Dec 28, 2004, 11:34:

gracias por entender. ahora me voy pa el carajo pues estoy muy cansao de trabajar. chaooo

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

dwmte says on Dec 29, 2004, 19:41:

gracious......... listening to you and elmo, makes me confess (internally) how miserably similar the three of us are.

i know that my posts portray one who is diplomatic and controlled, given to rationalism and calm. unfortunately, that is a facade that has been constructed over many years. and i don't use facade in a negative sense. rather, that i knew that i had to conceal this most anamalic 'me' to function in the world that fate put me in. i had to work professionally all over the world but that 'professional' was a disguise over a real mad man. one given to lust and drugs. a lot, over many years. i would always manage to let the animal out, no matter where i was or what i was doing.

i originally went to colombia in '89 for the enauguration of c. gaviria. imagine that! after a few days at the hilton in bogota and all the bs that went along with that event, i had to take a break. sooooo, got in a taxi, drove around and finally asked where i could get some coke. from there on in, it was a different story. ended up in a strip/dance club and took whoever it was home with me to the hilton. after that i could stand no more of bogota and left the whole show and took off for medellin.

i had businesses in l.a. and had heard about medellin for years. i couldn't go to colombia and not visit medellin, now could i? i ended up staying for 2 1/2 years. i manufactured custom furnishings for our stores in calif. and did it all professionally. at the same time, i enjoyed all that colombia had to offer. beautiful ladies, coke, booze, parties, lavish pleasures and wild ness. if it weren't for me being a good guy, i'd be real damn dead. folks liked me and it all worked out. as mentioned on another post, i even got envited to the home of sicarios to have lunch and visit. i was envited because i had helped one of the younger sons and the family felt obliged to entertain (??) me. what a wierd surprise, ending up on the hills to the east of bello in a house full of sicarios. actually, a whole fricken barrio full of sicarios. and they were so nice to me. real wierd experince/memory.

anyway, having read both of you, i feel a real kinship. thanks for being you.

dwmte

elmodefoque says on Dec 30, 2004, 09:32:

Hey dwmte, I hear you loud and clear. Thanks dude!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

nanis says on Dec 30, 2004, 09:56:

Not that i want to be negative about myself let alone colombia..I love colombia i'm a colombiana through and through but we need to be honest with each other our country is fuck up because of us is it not? 7 in 10 colombianos son corruptos it started long ago and goes from one generation to another, i'm not proud to say that my dark sides comes out very often it's something that's inside me and i need to let it out, i'm also a professional hard working woman but there's some darkness in me i grew up sorrounded by sicarios, traketos, lavaperros, guerrilleros, milicias populares, drugs etc.. it's not my family's fault they did not want me to grow up in such an environment but they didn't have a choice like many colombians they had to learn their livings some way or another and i just got caught up in the middle sad but true!!

dwmte says on Dec 30, 2004, 16:03:

ya know.... i'm really not sure that we, and our like, are the source of colombia's ills. see your self now, your married, responsible, mature, savey, and alive. i mean, it can't be all bad, it got you here!

i confessed above some of my hidden proclivities. however, and a big however, i've been a responsible householder all my life, raised 8 kids--still raising one--and did research and ran businesses all my adult life. i took care of employees and their families and their many problems, etc. so am i the source of colombia's many infirmaties, i think not.

to be sure, i have given full sway to my lusts and appitites, for years and will do so again. but, this is not at the expense or mis use of my fellow humans. i'm a good guy...not a great guy, but a good one. i have good, constructive, compassionate thoughts that run around my head. and in what ever capacity, i act upon them. too, i have a wild animal in side me. he is my strength and my drive, also, my restlessness.

gurgieff, a russian thinker, died in 1949 (i think), once said, ".... within every man/woman, is a wolf and a lamb. the secret for living a 'right' life is keeping the sheep in tact, and the wolf well fed. we do this by knowing when to give the old dog a bone."

there are times when i've felt that the time for the old dog to have a bone is long past and i wish i could toss him one. but, as things are in everyone's life. it just aint possible. i'm patient, it'll happen and i'll enjoy, with relish, every moment of it.

peace, brother and sister,

dw

dwmte says on Dec 30, 2004, 16:16:

ya know, the more i think about it, maybe you and i and elmo, are some of the best folks. not for some egotistical reasons, no, but because we're able to communicate with all folks at all levels and not alienate them by fixed opinions. rather, having ears to hear their story, not judging, and accepting that they (whomever) too, are part of the world picture. their errors (as mine) will be addressed by themselves, an inescapable reality. (karma) what do they say, '..it all comes out in the wash.

well anyway, i don't think we need to be down on ourselves. constructive selfexamination, not withstanding, we need to use our unique capacities to help keep this wild, often out of control show, on the road. seems like so many others just want to fight about it, or find fault, or just plain 'fuck' the flow....as it were.

that's enough for me, i'm too old to be engaged in such deep thought.

all that's good to all of you out there.

peace,

dw

ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:13:

adrenaline junkies? - could it be? Folks say that we are drawn to what is FAMILIAR, not ot what is necessarily good for us. Of course, it makes sense, if you grew up and experienced love, family, aceptance, bonding and milestones - in that environment - high adrenaline/stress/drama/living by the seat of your pants/escapes/close calls with death, etc -- if that is your past, then it makes sense to me that you will be bored in your new clean and straight life, of course.

As for the dark side SHADOW we all have one. All of us cage it. Some feed it through the bars, other walk it in the evenings or on weekends, and some jus starve it. But it never dies.

Well, Mrs. G - I think Elmo is all yours now. sigh of the losing party. sigh, sigh. I am laughing my panties right back on!

tchao!

lpdiver says on Jan 11, 2005, 18:31:

Welcome to the jungle It is said that in Africa the gazelles wake up knowing that the slowest will be eaten.

The lions wake up knowing that only the fastest will eat.

Moral of the story: Gazelle or lion when you wake up you better start running.

"cook some rice!"