marriage agencies

utopiacowboy says on Jun 15, 2004, 10:10:

You have to be careful with the women in the agencies. Of course having said that, you have to be careful with the ones who are not in the agencies too. The women in the agencies tend to be from poorer backgrounds than the women that put their profiles on internet sites like amigos or date etc. Those women tend to be college-educated professional women with computers. My wife was one of those women and she would not have been caught dead having anything to do with an agency. Nevertheless many of the agency women are respectable women who are interested in using this as a means to get out of Colombia. Consequently you have to be careful - is she just interested in money or a green card? If you don't speak Spanish and are not familiar with Colombia, you may be forced to use an agency. Otherwise I would say you are better off just going down there and circulating or corresponding with some Colombian women first via the internet.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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walter says on Jun 15, 2004, 10:14:

Just go to Colombia For my experience with Colombianas, I don't waste your time with that agency stuff. If it makes you feel more comfortable and secure, then I would say try it. Here is what one of my girlfriends thought. She told me she was scared to put her self on the agency network. Just because she heard stories of other ladies getting married to crazy guys or most of them were old guys and not attractive enough for her to have a geniune intrest. She was 21 and beautiful. And she had no desire to leave her family or Colombia for any man.

She was from Medellin. And if you notice, there are very few woman on the net from Medellin who want to leave. Medellin is a beautiful place to live. I don't want to leave either. Her story, a guy married a colombiana, brought her to florida, never finished her visa paperwork or green card intentionally. And treated her like a house/sex slave. Locked her in the house. And never intended her to work or learn english. She escaped the house and found someone who could help her find a lawyer and prosecuted the son of a bit... So this was a typical, I am a nice guy, but in real life I am crazy. So, Colombian women are frighten as well. I think the best way to meet people in Colombia is to have a friend who is from there that speaks english or you speaking spanish and just meet the women face to face in everyday life without intentions of marriage. Because if you go there with that intention, you will attract the bad women who only want your money. I am not against the marriage agency thing. But it gives me the feeling of a gold digger pool of women. And yes, Colombia has some gold diggers too. That is just me and my expeiences. But I guess it will be fun to do it for leisure and an introduction to Colombia and their women. If this your first time going as a gringo and you only speak english.

There are many women in Colombia and many single women with children. I can't say they are desperate. Because the fathers, didn't marry due to economical reasons or the father was just being a macho type of guy . So you have many women tired of the Colombian men. Not having enough money to care for the family or they are screwing other women all the time. So they want out and they think you as a foreigner will have a better life for them. Or you are the man who will put the bread on the table. Be careful and go with your gut feeling and learn spanish..Bueno Suerte. Chao

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dafer says on Jun 15, 2004, 10:37:

so nice women dont' go to agencies thank you for the tips, so what about going to discos and bar or you can talk to them on the street. are they friendly? you have to be itroduce?. by the way I'm hispanic American and fluent in spanish do you think that help?

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 15, 2004, 12:15:

I am not saying that - they just tend to be from poorer backgrounds and they want to get out of Colombia so you have to be careful. Many guys wind up with some very good wives that they have found through the agencies. If you are Hispanic and speak Spanish, my advice would be to just go down there and go to Bogota or Medellin and circulate the way you would here.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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viewpoint says on Jun 15, 2004, 13:14:

Good Advice Dafer I think everyone's advice regarding your question is good and right on point. Sure there's a chance you might meet someone that has other motovations but for the Colombian women her chances are just as great that she will meet a man that has bad intentions and I have seen my share of that.

The fact that you speak fluent spanish is a "hot knife that will cut right through butter". You should have no problem but unless you have friends or connections in Colombia, I would work through an agency on your first trip. With your spanish language ability you could start out on http://www.amigos.com

If you decide to use an agency in Medellin, Colombia you might try http://www.colombiansweethearts.com and they have a Miami phone number that rings in their office in Medellin. I guess I have not had any real bad experiences as almost all Colombians I have met are more honest than their American counterparts. Sometimes I wish the Colombian women weren't so honest about everything. jajjajajajaja What's on their mind comes out their mouth !!! jajajaja

I guess that on average I found better relationships through the internet than I every did in my earlier years with careful planning and through normal channels with north american women. I think most of the Colombian women are not looking outside Colombia for a foreign husband. Colombian agencies or internet sites at least narrows the focus to those Colombian women or men looking for a foreign spouse.

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motherof2 says on Jun 15, 2004, 14:16:

Very Interesting i think everything you have said is true. I'm Colombian, and I never joined one of those agencies, but I though about it, the problem was that most of the guys are over 40, and a few over 30, so I didn't like that part. I had the opportunity to work in a hotel and meet men from one of this agencies, I could tell you, there is some pretty desperate, I saw couples getting engaged the very next day they meet each other, and they couldn't even communicate without "interpretes". I saw guys using the very same engagement ring for 2, 3 or even 4 woman that for different reasons they decide not to get married, I notice also most of the ladies were single mothers with no more than 2 kids.

But I also want to tell you, that I have Colombian friends, professionals, from nice families, living in nice neighborhods, looking for boyfriends online, and even thinking about joining this agencies because they are tired of dating colombians!, They really don't need a green card or anything like that, they just know american can be really good husbands, and why not to go for the best?

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 15, 2004, 14:37:

I laughed when I came to the last part where you said, "why not to go for the best". I think you're the best, motherof2!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Hunter says on Jun 15, 2004, 15:30:

e-mails please Send me their e-mails motherof2.

Just jesting.

Hunter

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adela says on Jun 15, 2004, 17:10:

who said Another question could be ¿why American guys often looks down women in development countries?.

¿Why we trust easily, and you don't?

Màs fe, màs abrazos, màs besos, màs disculpas, màs visitas a nuestros amigos antiguos nos haràn màs plenos cada vez.

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viewpoint says on Jun 15, 2004, 17:28:

Exactly "Why We Trust Easily" Hola ADELA,

Exactly on point !!!! You are exactly right, except most (not all) american guys do trust but we all need lessons that we can only learn from your (latin) culture or other culture with strong family values. The lessons of our culture leave much to be desired and the experiences we have lived through may have taught some of us to distrust.

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viewpoint says on Jun 15, 2004, 17:39:

Mother of 2 We Love You Each of your messages are so uplifting, honest and genuine. Your thoughts, suggestions, comments, style, writings are just wonderful to read as they are spoken from the heart.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 16, 2004, 07:55:

My wife was not born into wealth either, gringopingo, but she is a conservative paisa who is concerned about not giving anyone cause to question her reputation. On the other hand, she is not the type of person to make any judgements about others. She is the same one who was worried about what her roomates would think of her because we were sharing a room a week before our wedding.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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ColombianGringo says on Jun 20, 2004, 09:13:

Good Comments, There is good and bad everywhere. Agencies are not that great. They don't screen the women or remove women reported to be users or things like that. THE agencies only want your money and could care less if you find someone or not. You can stay and travel there alot less than what an agency charges you to stay with them. Amigos.com is a good start to meet some women, write and talk to them and get to know them. I contact a few ladies and get some phone numbers let them know im coming then use any means available to meet ladies there. I have made some business cards with a short blurp and my photo saying what I am interested in and have had great luck passing them to ladies i find interesting...Actually I met my wife to be from a taxi driver....what a nice brother :)
Patrick

Feel free to write me with questions to kd7hsm@yahoo.com

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James3 says on Jun 20, 2004, 09:47:

I can't speak for all of the agencies because I know there are a lot of crooks out there. If you are traveling to Cali I'd try http://www.latinencounters.com/. They helped me meet my wife who is about as beautiful of a women I've ever known inside and out. The owner, Margareth is very honest.

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viewpoint says on Jun 20, 2004, 10:29:

Colombian Gringo Dear Colombian Gringo:

I would like to add a few comments about Amigos.com and that would be my own observation that few of the ladies on the website are seeking relationships with foreign men as opposed to their own Colombian counterparts (Colombian men) or Colombian women. Try running a search on Amigos.com for women seeking women in Colombia and you will find beautiful women seeking other women because they are burned out on men or ???? whatever. There is some really strange foreign men that come to these agencies and within a few days propose to marry these women before they even know them and in some case without the ability to even communicate with them.

How can a foreign man expect good results when they are not using their own intelligence ? The agencies will suggest that you don't rush into anything. Make several trips, meet several women and spend time communicating with them before jumping off the bridge (or more importantly causing them to make a mistake). Even after all of that you run a high risk of the Colombian women adjusting to the foreign country culture, language and people. The Colombian woman gives up so much when she leaves her family, her country and her culture for a foreign adventure (she has bet everything on her pick of the foreign man).

If you are foreign and not bilingual you are better off working through a "introduction" agency as at least you are being introduced to women that want to meet a foreign man.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 20, 2004, 11:43:

I am not sure that you can make blanket statements about amigos. You really get all kinds there as opposed to the agencies where the women are seeking foreign men. I met my wife on amigos and it worked very well for me (obviously!) - my sister-in-law is on there now along with several other Colombianas that I know. They are all interested in foreign men but you either have to know Spanish or be willing to learn.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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motherof2 says on Jun 20, 2004, 19:42:

utopiacowboy... Why don't you post something about how you met your paisita?, I'd like to know more about you and your wife; I think you are a pretty cool guy, seem like you are enjoying your marriage, that's great!
what about babies? does she like USA, or you live in Colombia?

MOTHEROF2CRAZYBOYS!!

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 21, 2004, 12:22:

The story of the gringo and the paisa. Anyone familiar with my posts can skip this story since you will have heard much of it already.

I live in a rural part of Texas not far from Mexico where the cows and the deer outnumber the people. I have always been attracted to Latina women and since single women are hard to find where I live, I thought that I might find someone in a nearby Mexican city.

I found a web site called amigos.com. and they have a feature where you can look at each week's new profiles. One day I was looking at the new profiles when I saw the face of this woman - it was as though I knew her already - she was so familiar to me. When I read her description, I found out she was a widow with 3 children who lived in Colombia and spoke only Spanish. Oh no! Forget it! The only problem was I could not forget her. All the next week, I kept hearing a voice repeating her name (she had used her name as her profile handle) over and over. It was like someone telling me that I had to contact her. So I did.

I knew about 5 words of Spanish but I used the internet translators to piece together an email to her. She replied and we started corresponding in Spanish - I bought a dictionary and some Spanish text books and started working hard to learn Spanish so I could communicate with her. She said my first letters were really bad but I kept improving. Our first phone conversation was crazy - she had to repeat everything about 5 times - but almost intuitively I could tell what she was saying to me. I sent her some money to buy a web cam so we could see each other and we started chatting daily on Yahoo Messenger - she would go to her sister's house after work and we would talk for an hour or two. I would have to translate everything she wrote into English and then translate my English into Spanish. What a lot of work!

She was a 42 year old chemical engineer who ran one of the shops in a large textile plant in Medellin. Her husband had died four years before leaving her with three children and to make ends meet and to give them a safer environment, her children had been living with her mother in Monteria. Her father had been a major in the Colombian National Police and had died in a shootout with Pablo Escobar's gang. In spite of these tragedies in her life, she was a vibrant, cheerful, optimistic person who always had a smile on her face. I was completely captivated by her.

After a couple of months of corresponding and chatting, we arranged to meet each other in Bogota where her sister lives and go to San Andres for a couple of days. I was so nervous the night before, it was hard to tell which worried me more, going to Colombia or meeting her. Finally, there I was, coming out of El Dorado airport looking for her and her sister. When I saw her, I was so happy - she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. There was something about her energy, her smile, the look in her eyes - I would have married her right then and there. We kept asking each other, "Are you happy with me?" and both of us were really ecstatic. We scandalized her sister by kissing in the back of the taxi while we went to her sister's apartment. My wife told me later that her sister had to call their mother - she was concerned that her sister had lost her mind and was passionately kissing some man she had just met!

My wife later confessed that if we had not been so happy with each other that she would not have gone to San Andres with me. That day we agreed to be married and our trip to San Andres was like a honeymoon.

In the months that followed we had to make arrangements for the civil and church weddings by long distance and it took a lot of patience and trust to rely on each other. Luckily my written Spanish had improved to the point that we could communicate easily over the internet. In fact my wife says that now when she talks to me it is just like talking to anyone else in Spanish. After our wedding, it took us five more months to get the K-3 visa during which time I visited her three times. At the end of March we went to the embassy together for the visa interview and we came back to Texas a week later along with her three children.

All her friends and family say that her story is like that of a princess whose dream has come true. I guess many of these things don't work out and there are many broken promises. Still, I feel that I am the lucky one in this story - I am married to the most incredible, most beautiful woman in the world.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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motherof2 says on Jun 21, 2004, 13:29:

What a nice story! I also live in Texas, and I think is a nice place to live, I just can't get use to the bugs!! I hate them!
Is funny how everytime a read a story like that I star imagine "Faces and places", I'm pretty sure you have a beautiful
wife that makes you very happy!

How about your new kids? Was it hard?.... Are they getting use to living here?

perdona lo chismosa...
MOTHEROF2

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 21, 2004, 14:08:

I always describe my wife as beautiful but I hope you realize that it is her personality and spirit that really makes her beautiful to me. Sure she has a lovely face and body but those are nothing compared to her inner beauty.

The kids seem to be handling things very well - they did well in school and they are learning English. My two sons are the same ages as her two boys and they all have fun together. The biggest adjustment has been for her to get used to being with her children all the time after several years with their grandmother. Sometimes they drive her a little crazy!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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motherof2 says on Jun 21, 2004, 15:27:

I'm not having a good day, I'm really sad, I feel so lonely and helpless, but it was nice to hear something nice today!

thanks
M

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 21, 2004, 16:15:

Hey Motherof2! We all enjoy your posts and your comments - you sound like a really delightful woman. What's up? Why are you feeling this way?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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robertdelred says on Jun 21, 2004, 23:16:

motherof2 and utopiacowboy A couple of quick comments, first, I want to second that comment to you, motherof2, by utopiacowboy. I've read a number of your comments and they are always positive, sincere and interesting. You add a refreshing counter balance to the increasing negative and "one upsmanship" comments made by to many contributors. Secondly, this comment is directed to utopiacowboy, I am very much interested in asking you a few questions, off the website. If you are willing, please drop me a line at xp16 at juno.com , so that I may send you my comments and questions to you directly, The comments I made to motherof2 , go "ditto" to you to utopiacowboy. Robertdelred

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ShazCas says on Jun 22, 2004, 03:24:

How Romantic Hi Utopia,

I just wanted to say I enjoyed your story so much, it's so romantic and lovely that you both found happiness. It must be hectic sometimes with all those kids! Of course it also must be really good for them to share their cultures and learn about each other. I also wanted to say that thanks for your positive comments on my husband's story that I posted before, it really cheered me up.

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motherof2 says on Jun 22, 2004, 07:30:

Thanks... I'm just full of responsabilities, having 2 little kids is not easy!, I wish I would know more colombian people in this area, so I wouldn't feel that lonely. I have american friends, but is never the same!
Utopia if you go to my profile you'll see my email address, it would befun to share more of those stories.
what was this post about?......

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Dan says on Jun 22, 2004, 08:51:

to Utopia (or others?) How old were your wifes children when they came to the US and how was the adjustment to living? Also, how dificult is/was it for them to learn english and go to school? I'm only asking because I am very much interested in a wonderful woman myself with a daughter that turns 7 on Fri 25th. I'm also going to be leaving for Colombia Tomorrow for a visit to my girlfriend and to visit her daughters birthday.
-Daniel

God Bless America!

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 22, 2004, 09:19:

Really depends on the child. My wife's children are two boys, 14 and 13 and a girl, 9. It's been easiest on the oldest and the youngest - the oldest because he has always been very oriented towards American music and culture - and the youngest because when you are young it's easier to pick up the language. When she speaks English, she does not even have an accent. All of them were promoted to the next grade level in school and here in Texas, there are extensive ESL programs in place to help children like them. They are really doing quite well.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Dan says on Jun 22, 2004, 09:52:

Thanks for the comment. I'm trying to get all possible info from the websites on US Emb. COL Emb. USCIS and all the collective info from this PBH site. So far its helping a lot.
Daniel

God Bless America!

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ColombianGringo says on Jul 18, 2004, 15:00:

I know Margareth at latin encounters and her x's Ricardo at allcolombiangirls.com. The women at the agencies are looking for 1 thing, to get out of Colombia. The agencies only want your money. They do not screen girls or if one there rips you off or anything like that they don't remove them. Sure you might get lucky and find a nice girl there but hardly likely. Also try looking at the ad's they put in the newspapers and periodicals. You would be suprised how they are portraying you to the girls and what kind of life you can give them. I met my fiance through a guy friend in Colombia. I'm getting marrried in August. I have brought 2 girls here already on fiance visas. Never got married tho and they had to return to Colombia.

Feel free to write me with questions to kd7hsm@yahoo.com

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