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Man, I’m bored chitless

I need to get my old injun ass on that next direct flight (NYC to Barranquilla) head straight to Olimpica, buy a six pack of cerveza Aguila and a bottle of Ron Caldas. Find a cheap hotel and hire two 20 year old hookers and enough hits for all of us. I wanna do this every day until I drop dead.
Sorry, I just needed to rant my frustrations before I go mad and jump outta my basement window again.

By elmodefoque on Oct 16, 2006, 10:18 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


goin_south says on Oct 16, 2006, 23:14:

chitless? too much pitaya?

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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aussiesam says on Oct 17, 2006, 02:33:

Cant you do that in NYC?? im told NY is the best city in the world???

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wilsonedgar says on Oct 17, 2006, 02:50:

The grass is... The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, i guess!

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tomtom33 says on Oct 17, 2006, 04:40:

Except for the alcohol, I think I'll do just that. I land in the arms of my harem tomorrow. They have missed my wallet.

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elmodefoque says on Oct 17, 2006, 05:29:

Yes, to most NYC is the greatest city in the planet. You roll up all those European cities and you still can’t make a Manhattan, but to me, IT WAS the greatest city in the history of mankind. Right now, NYC is too damm organized, sanitized, expensive and crime free. This damn place looks like Disney World, all we need is for the 1 million cops we have to dress up like Mickey Mouse. We can’t freaking fart with out getting a ticket and if you get loud, Officer O'Hare and officer Santucchii are gonna crack your head wide open. The only nice thing about getting beat up by a NYC cop is that you get to sue the freaking city and become a millionaire. If you go out dancing, be ready to pay $12 bucks for freaking drink, and parking is gonna cost $40 not counting club fee, that’s if they let your ugly ass in there. We used to get hookers at Hunts Point in the Bronx for only $10 bucks and $5 on weekdays, now they got some gigantic fish market there. In Manhattan, the 20’s and 30’s, west side, hookers for as low as $20 bucks, now they got the worlds biggest sports complex right by the Hudson River.
Let me go back to my dirty, loud, hot, disorganized, south Barranquilla, where the hookers are $3 USA , drugs $4 USA and 800 col for beer and 7 mil for a bottle of Ron and when I get hungry a plate of chicharron and bollo limpio 3 mil barras.
Today we have a “cachaco day” in NYC , cold, cloudy and rainy, the kind of weather that makes me think about blowing my nuts right off with a shotgun.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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aussiesam says on Oct 17, 2006, 05:43:

LOL!! Thats funny stuff... great post!

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pedro says on Oct 17, 2006, 07:30:

I'm counting the days Elmo, I'm all set. I arranged with my work to take a long holiday. What's more, I will be doing some bits and pieces of work for them, live from Colombia. Should be a good deal for me. I will probably set up camp in Medellin or Manizales. Six weeks to go...

I hope to break bread (and chicharron) with you and Miguel sometime this festive season in Colombia! (the festive season goes from beginning of December until Carnaval, right?)

Tomtom, welcome back, I'm sure you've been looking forward to arriving "home"!

que nota!

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goin_south says on Oct 17, 2006, 16:06:

bored chitless? It looks like those folks in Bogota are right there with you; only one response in that thread just above this one, about 'cool and fun things to do in Bogota'.

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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Plato says on Oct 17, 2006, 20:31:

Well... what Elmo says about NYC being expensive and built up is true. That's what makes Colombia, or any other low cost of living city desirable to relax.

Hey Elmo, it's relative my man. Don't the Brits come to NYC and buy everything on 5th avenue? It's so expensive in England. And the Euro is just plain nuts. $4.00 to $5.00 for a cup of coffee in Japan.

Elmo forgot to tell you that NYC kills us with the taxes, in addition to Stated and Federal income taxes. You know El, that sounds like a good idea going to Barranquilla and partying.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those [liberals] who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.--Dante Alighieri, (1265-1321)

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Plato says on Oct 17, 2006, 20:31:

Well... what Elmo says about NYC being expensive and built up is absolutely true. That's what makes Colombia, or any other low cost country, desirable for partying and relaxing.

Hey Elmo, it's relative my man. Don't the Brits come to NYC and buy everything on 5th avenue? It's so expensive in England. And the Euro is just plain nuts! $4.00 to $5.00 for a cup of coffee in Japan.

Elmo forgot to tell you that NYC kills us with taxes, in addition to State and Federal income taxes. You know El, that sounds like a good idea going to Barranquilla and partying.

(Oh, by the way, to some New Yorkers, cleaning up prostitution is a good thing.)


Regards,

Plato

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those [liberals] who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.--Dante Alighieri, (1265-1321)

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famsearch says on Oct 17, 2006, 20:44:

and... bringing down crime is a bad thing?
dan

dan

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 17, 2006, 21:08:

Rubito and I liked the old New York City which was kind of like a theme park for the end of American civilization.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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goin_south says on Oct 17, 2006, 21:46:

you mean the NYC of say,.. 1989? Yeah. Geeez. Chit! It will probably even be safe to ride the subway at night in another ten years. no fun. no adventure. no blind guys trying to find their way home. jeje

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 05:41:

UC, you hit it right on the head, back in the days NYC was in fact the theme park for end of American Civilization, it was heaven on earth. So much drugs and so much sex, I wish I had 10 penises to keep up with the demand from all my female admirers.
Right now in NYC, a place like Soho is super expensive, a loft goes for millions of dollars. Back in the late 60’s early 70’s soho was just abandoned factories where I attended my first sex orgy when I was just a wide eyed long hair 16 year old injun kid from la Costa de Colombia. I spent the first 6 years in NYC not going outta the apt. I was homesick, I missed my friends and I missed screwing my little burrita up the a-s. After hittin my 15th birthday I'm stepping out for the first time and soon found myself in the Village and Soho shoving stuff up my nose that came from my people back in la Sierra Nevada and having the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen (blondes) going after my very tanned injun ass and they were willing to pay for it. Colombianas wanted no part of me they like their guys a nice shade of milk.
Sometimes I like to reminisce the good ol days in NYC and I watch my all time favorite movie “Midnight Cowboy”. Like Ratso Ritzzo I also had a hard on for Miami, but now I just wanna go back and die in Barranquilla, el sur de Barranquilla.
My all time favorite movies

Hey Rubi, watch out riding your bicycle, cops are handing out tickets for going thru a red light. My buddy got one in Central Park.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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famsearch says on Oct 18, 2006, 07:32:

elmo, which would your buddy rather have? the ticket for going through the red light, or the end result of being hit broadside by the car or truck going through the green? should remind your friend, that cyclists are as beholden to the rules of the road as much as other vehicles... =)
dan

dan

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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 07:46:

I see your point, but I ‘ve been going thru red lights for nearly 40 years, only had one accident and that’s when some A-hole opened the door of his parked vehicle and I went flying off like superman but landed como una pila de mierda. Riding a bike in NYC is like no other place and is NOT for all. I feel quite safe in the middle of mid town traffic, safer than my own shower where I slipped and broke my hip three years ago.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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oldbongo says on Oct 18, 2006, 09:39:

morning elmo... y'know... funny thing,..ratso is my favorito too, along with
hooper,...those two yids are perfect new yorkers.
oldbongo thinks it's time to sample the new harvest...
how 'bout lunch at bony's?????...say,...on the coldest day in feb.

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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 10:51:

OB, I had a pretty rough childhood. I was born in the middle of a donkey trail during my family’s yearly migration from near Riohacha up to la Sierra Nevada. My big head nearly killed my mom so I had to survive by drinking goat milk and sopa de mondongo. Though I love mondongo, my tiny intenstins had a hard time digesting something so heavy, I also had no teeth to chew before I swallowed, so I choked a few times. Guess my mom never forgot and a few years after that, abandoned my little Injun ass and I was left to fend for myself in the streets of barranquilla. I was also kicked by a burra nearly ripping my left testicle right off plus many other horrible things too numerous to mentioned. But I NEVER cried, not even once until in my teens, NYC, when I saw Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman in “Midnight Cowboy) died inside that greyhound bus soon after arriving in Miami. For some odd reason I identified with that character.
Bony's is ON; I’ll be there in Feb.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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colombian111 says on Oct 18, 2006, 11:00:

que bueno de escuchar de barranquilleros I am to from barranquilla though never hasd the luxury? to live in NYC. I am in big boring Tejas. Que cosa ! My mom too fed me sopa de mondongo as a kid to keep me "nourished" ! Ahhh pero como me hace falta un buen sancocho .Maldito Tejas! Estos puerco Mejicanitos con su menudo!

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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 11:05:

entonces tambien comistes masamorra. aqui en NY/NJ hay full colombianos, la misma vaina en miami.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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morphus says on Oct 18, 2006, 15:35:

modefoque, if it gets really bad you can go up to Hunts Point. Theres $5 crack ho's like this one. She's been at it for over 30 years and is immune to STDs

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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 06:17:

Due to my financial hardship, that picture (above) best describes the kind of women at my disposal if I stay in NYC. I used to gotto hunts point and get hookers dirt cheap, not as dirty and ugly as the morphose’s hookers, but now I could gotto Barranquilla and get hookers for 20 mil pesos like that lovely 20 year old girl pictured below.
I went to hunts point not too long ago and that place is now brighter than a friggin Christmas tree, is impossible to slither around in the dark anymore and to top it off they got cameras all over the damn place. The hooker activity has come to a complete stop. Now, I got two choices, gotto apt brothels located in every neighborhood and pay 100 to 200 USA bucks por un polvo to some dominicana or I could gotto Colombia and pay 20 mil pesos for this fine specimen of Barranquilla southern girl. What would you guys do?

Hey why can we have a section dedicated to guys who travel or live in Colombia just to get hookers? Not all of us are romanic fools, some of us are more realistic and see colombianas true motives. I think is best to bypass all the bullshit and cut to the chase, you want what I have in my wallet and I want what you have between your legs, simple! You tell me how much you want and I’ll tell you how much I’m willing to pay! no one gets hurt

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 06:46:

Elmodefoque on the prowl for hookers in the worst neighborhoods of southern Barranquilla, my old neighborhoods.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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moondance says on Oct 19, 2006, 07:21:

barranquilla .....home bound well, be in my baby's arms in less than 2 weeks. Just spent more than 2 months in Canada, but the government telling me that I can't smoke cigarettes anywhere and that's after taking 35% of what I've made............besides, too fucken' cold......
Got a few bucks...........how long will $7000 last in Barranquilla?....accomodations taken care of.........maybe some business school will want to hire my services.........or should I focus on drinking as much aguilla and ron caldas till the money runs out..................not a bad way to go

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gringolondinense says on Oct 19, 2006, 08:52:

what the ************** morphus! come on now that pic u put here has to be a man! look at the legs. but then there are those "breasts". I cant figure this out at all!!

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morphus says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:35:

I can't figure it out either. The sick thing is she would'nt be out there if she did'nt have any customers. It just goes to show how difficult it is for an old lonely guy to get laid in the U.S. that he has to lower his standards beyond normal.

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morphus says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:40:

Hunts Point

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morphus says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:42:

Hunts Point

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morphus says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:43:

One More

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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:47:

Hey morphus, I’m sure she (it) goes down for even a single drag from the pipe. I bet all her costumers are crackheads too.

Moon, if you hang in south barranqulla, that 7 thousand could last you almost a year.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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moondance says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:52:

elmo will be living in Soledad..........taxi ride to the city (and fuck hold on to what u can grab)...a mere $4.00.......but I would love to supplement my meagre stash by doing some possible consulting work.....is that possible

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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 10:13:

Soledad sounds good; I’m not too far from there.
With your English, I’m sure you'll be able to find something.
I, on the other hand won’t be able to find work there. First, I’m too damn old, and second, not a big demand for guys in my profession. I clean and maintain toilets. I've not seen many toilets that flush automatically in Barranquilla.


HEY! who chased all the broads away, i'n not seen one around here (pbh) for days. some of you guys have real toilet mouth.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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toneloc24 says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:15:

Elmo Mannnnn - you are so full of chit!!!! And you got them all fooled too.....Hilarious. Thanks for another laugh.

BTW, get that bottle of Caldas ready. I'll be up there next wkd.

"Don't tase me, bro!!!!"

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:17:

LOL You look posh in those clothes you actually look like a rich cachaco going to play golf,jijii a real corroncho dont' wear shiny white short and smart press iron t-shirt, actually they don't wear any t-shirts and what with the whiter than white shorts! persil? :))))

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:40:

I agree Tinto, can you sing me up too Elmo :p

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toneloc24 says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:40:

Early Halloween costume That pic was Elmo on his way to a an early Halloween costume, going as "rich cachaco."

"Don't tase me, bro!!!!"

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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 12:36:

Tone, you see that little blue cup? that’s your Ron in there. I brought 3 big (pipona) bottles of Ron Caldas form Barranquilla. We down two and I hid yours. As you know, in my apt. we are all boozers. Everyone there is a drunk. Well, a couple weeks ago my daughter comes running to the living room all excited holding the bottle up in the air “look what I found under the sink” Damn, your bottle of Ron Caldas.
When you come up, we’re having Hennessey, my kids and I buy a gallon and sometimes it last the entire night.

Kat mi reina, I dress like that all the time. I don’t own a single dress shirt all I wear are polo shirts, long and short cargo pants and plain white sneakers. Is that cachaco?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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MacGringo says on Oct 19, 2006, 12:46:

Morphus, I'm givin up the crack if thats what that shit does to you!!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 19, 2006, 12:52:

very cachaco Elmo, i am dissapointed ;(

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toneloc24 says on Oct 19, 2006, 13:35:

Elmo Tell that chick that you bred...I'm deeply hurt.....but nothing that Hennessy and Presidentes won't cure. LOL!!!!

Thanks to the freaking US war on terror, then war on liquids, including sealed bottles of freaking rum bought in the airport, I didn't bring any more bottles of anything back my last times down there. I'll bring a few bottles back next month.

"Don't tase me, bro!!!!"

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podborski says on Oct 19, 2006, 18:26:

I'm with you Elmo I feel like I did my part to scare the girls away.

I say there should be a new 'Elmo' forum, we can talk about important stuff like hot women, sports, getting extremely drunk, big fat juicy bbq steaks maybe even the odd burro or bowel movement type story, if you really have to.

As I am getting nicely drunk here in BsAs, and Elmo and morphus have shared so many nice photos, I am feeling the need to share one of my Colombiana photos. We'll see if my laptop battery lasts long enough...

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podborski says on Oct 19, 2006, 19:09:

I posted her pic as my own photo on my account page as there is no way I am going to read all that crap about how to post a photo, set up an ftp site and blah blah blah. Is there no easier way?

Anyway, the photo is small but I think you'll get the idea.

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podborski says on Oct 19, 2006, 19:51:

thought you might appreciate that BTW, unfortunately for me, she's a very nice girl, totally unlike the ones I usually meet. She's only wearing that outfit as she was in a fashion show. But she looks good in jeans and a t-shirt too.

Don't want to post pics of the other girls I know, as everyone else here probably knows them too! jejeje

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goin_south says on Oct 19, 2006, 23:10:

illegal roofus but, unavoidable! that photo must warm things up a bit for you up there in the great white north. Is your igloo melting yet?

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 06:02:

Yeah the photo was small but we certainly got the idea. Nice. Very nice.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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MacGringo says on Oct 20, 2006, 08:00:

Yeah, I've got to pass on my compliments too. Nice photo!!!

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morphus says on Oct 20, 2006, 14:50:

Crack Kills This is more my speed

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morphus says on Oct 20, 2006, 14:51:

This too

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 16:25:

I prefer the other chick in the small picture over these little elementary school girls. She was hot and she looked like she was legal.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 16:47:

I like the one in the wine coloured top, but still too young for me. Doesn't hurt to look though.

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morphus says on Oct 20, 2006, 18:37:

They said they wrere in "colegio". I thought that was college. I did'nt know colegio was high school. But at least they graduated...lol

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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 19:09:

ok trying the full photo thing [IMG]http://i11.tinypic.com/2my2ryr.jpg[/IMG]

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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 19:10:

hmmm never works first time http://i11.tinypic.com/2my2ryr.jpg

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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 19:11:

uhh I don't get it what am I doing wrong? UC?

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webmanco says on Oct 20, 2006, 21:45:

POD

POD

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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goin_south says on Oct 20, 2006, 21:56:

UTC, I hope you didn't 'pull your back out', trying to get sideways, to check out that photo you said you wished we could 'rotate', PP in the green cut-up dress. lol

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 22:09:

Some of you guys need to pay closer attention. See those big photos way up at the top of the page. They're GIRLS. MUCHACHAS. NINAS. Now, see that photo one post up. That's a WOMAN. MUJER. MAMACITA. You can tell because she looks like a nice ripe fruit, full and lucious. A woman is what you want. Don't settle for no high school girls.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 22:15:

I not only messed up my back but I made some other messes too. Still, I got it all rotated nicely and scaled it down so it fit perfectly. On the page. Then I had to admire my handiwork.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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pedro says on Oct 20, 2006, 22:43:

Pod When you copy the link from tinypic, choose the one from section:
"Embed HTML: for MySpace, eBay, blogs"

I think that is the only format that works for PBH.

que nota!

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morphus says on Oct 21, 2006, 06:00:

The one in Webmanco's pic might be a nina with implants. The girl I posted with the drink in her hand is 22 years old. The other girls are 16 and 17 and from Cali. They just graduated high school and were vacationing in Cartagena.

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podborski says on Oct 21, 2006, 06:17:

thanks webmanco, pedro I'm a slow learner, but appreciate the help.

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goin_south says on Oct 21, 2006, 11:10:

Elmo, you still bored? this thread is showing potential; they'll have pbh listed under the hun's yellow pages soon.

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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goin_south says on Oct 21, 2006, 18:40:

morph whatever her age, she doesn't look a day over 16, but the girl in the red tank is fine. congrats!

Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue.

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