I need to get my old injun ass on that next direct flight (NYC to Barranquilla) head straight to Olimpica, buy a six pack of cerveza Aguila and a bottle of Ron Caldas. Find a cheap hotel and hire two 20 year old hookers and enough hits for all of us. I wanna do this every day until I drop dead.
Sorry, I just needed to rant my frustrations before I go mad and jump outta my basement window again.
By elmodefoque on Oct 16, 2006, 10:18 in Friendly Talkzone.
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goin_south says on Oct 16, 2006, 23:14: chitless? too much pitaya? Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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aussiesam says on Oct 17, 2006, 02:33: Cant you do that in NYC?? im told NY is the best city in the world???
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wilsonedgar says on Oct 17, 2006, 02:50: The grass is... The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, i guess!
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tomtom33 says on Oct 17, 2006, 04:40: Except for the alcohol, I think I'll do just that. I land in the arms of my harem tomorrow. They have missed my wallet.
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elmodefoque says on Oct 17, 2006, 05:29: Yes, to most NYC is the greatest city in the planet. You roll up all those European cities and you still can’t make a Manhattan, but to me, IT WAS the greatest city in the history of mankind. Right now, NYC is too damm organized, sanitized, expensive and crime free. This damn place looks like Disney World, all we need is for the 1 million cops we have to dress up like Mickey Mouse. We can’t freaking fart with out getting a ticket and if you get loud, Officer O'Hare and officer Santucchii are gonna crack your head wide open. The only nice thing about getting beat up by a NYC cop is that you get to sue the freaking city and become a millionaire. If you go out dancing, be ready to pay $12 bucks for freaking drink, and parking is gonna cost $40 not counting club fee, that’s if they let your ugly ass in there. We used to get hookers at Hunts Point in the Bronx for only $10 bucks and $5 on weekdays, now they got some gigantic fish market there. In Manhattan, the 20’s and 30’s, west side, hookers for as low as $20 bucks, now they got the worlds biggest sports complex right by the Hudson River. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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pedro says on Oct 17, 2006, 07:30: I'm counting the days Elmo, I'm all set. I arranged with my work to take a long holiday. What's more, I will be doing some bits and pieces of work for them, live from Colombia. Should be a good deal for me. I will probably set up camp in Medellin or Manizales. Six weeks to go... que nota! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Oct 17, 2006, 16:06: bored chitless? It looks like those folks in Bogota are right there with you; only one response in that thread just above this one, about 'cool and fun things to do in Bogota'. Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Plato says on Oct 17, 2006, 20:31: Well... what Elmo says about NYC being expensive and built up is true. That's what makes Colombia, or any other low cost of living city desirable to relax. The hottest places in hell are reserved for those [liberals] who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.--Dante Alighieri, (1265-1321) 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Plato says on Oct 17, 2006, 20:31: Well... what Elmo says about NYC being expensive and built up is absolutely true. That's what makes Colombia, or any other low cost country, desirable for partying and relaxing. The hottest places in hell are reserved for those [liberals] who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.--Dante Alighieri, (1265-1321) 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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famsearch says on Oct 17, 2006, 20:44: and... bringing down crime is a bad thing? dan 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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utopiacowboy says on Oct 17, 2006, 21:08: Rubito and I liked the old New York City which was kind of like a theme park for the end of American civilization. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Oct 17, 2006, 21:46: you mean the NYC of say,.. 1989? Yeah. Geeez. Chit! It will probably even be safe to ride the subway at night in another ten years. no fun. no adventure. no blind guys trying to find their way home. jeje Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 05:41: UC, you hit it right on the head, back in the days NYC was in fact the theme park for end of American Civilization, it was heaven on earth. So much drugs and so much sex, I wish I had 10 penises to keep up with the demand from all my female admirers. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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famsearch says on Oct 18, 2006, 07:32: elmo, which would your buddy rather have? the ticket for going through the red light, or the end result of being hit broadside by the car or truck going through the green? should remind your friend, that cyclists are as beholden to the rules of the road as much as other vehicles... =) dan 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 07:46: I see your point, but I ‘ve been going thru red lights for nearly 40 years, only had one accident and that’s when some A-hole opened the door of his parked vehicle and I went flying off like superman but landed como una pila de mierda. Riding a bike in NYC is like no other place and is NOT for all. I feel quite safe in the middle of mid town traffic, safer than my own shower where I slipped and broke my hip three years ago. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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oldbongo says on Oct 18, 2006, 09:39: morning elmo... y'know... funny thing,..ratso is my favorito too, along with
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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 10:51: OB, I had a pretty rough childhood. I was born in the middle of a donkey trail during my family’s yearly migration from near Riohacha up to la Sierra Nevada. My big head nearly killed my mom so I had to survive by drinking goat milk and sopa de mondongo. Though I love mondongo, my tiny intenstins had a hard time digesting something so heavy, I also had no teeth to chew before I swallowed, so I choked a few times. Guess my mom never forgot and a few years after that, abandoned my little Injun ass and I was left to fend for myself in the streets of barranquilla. I was also kicked by a burra nearly ripping my left testicle right off plus many other horrible things too numerous to mentioned. But I NEVER cried, not even once until in my teens, NYC, when I saw Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman in “Midnight Cowboy) died inside that greyhound bus soon after arriving in Miami. For some odd reason I identified with that character. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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colombian111 says on Oct 18, 2006, 11:00: que bueno de escuchar de barranquilleros I am to from barranquilla though never hasd the luxury? to live in NYC. I am in big boring Tejas. Que cosa ! My mom too fed me sopa de mondongo as a kid to keep me "nourished" ! Ahhh pero como me hace falta un buen sancocho .Maldito Tejas! Estos puerco Mejicanitos con su menudo!
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elmodefoque says on Oct 18, 2006, 11:05: entonces tambien comistes masamorra. aqui en NY/NJ hay full colombianos, la misma vaina en miami. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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morphus says on Oct 18, 2006, 15:35: modefoque, if it gets really bad you can go up to Hunts Point. Theres $5 crack ho's like this one. She's been at it for over 30 years and is immune to STDs
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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 06:17: Due to my financial hardship, that picture (above) best describes the kind of women at my disposal if I stay in NYC. I used to gotto hunts point and get hookers dirt cheap, not as dirty and ugly as the morphose’s hookers, but now I could gotto Barranquilla and get hookers for 20 mil pesos like that lovely 20 year old girl pictured below. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 06:46: Elmodefoque on the prowl for hookers in the worst neighborhoods of southern Barranquilla, my old neighborhoods. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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moondance says on Oct 19, 2006, 07:21: barranquilla .....home bound well, be in my baby's arms in less than 2 weeks. Just spent more than 2 months in Canada, but the government telling me that I can't smoke cigarettes anywhere and that's after taking 35% of what I've made............besides, too fucken' cold......
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gringolondinense says on Oct 19, 2006, 08:52: what the ************** morphus! come on now that pic u put here has to be a man! look at the legs. but then there are those "breasts". I cant figure this out at all!!
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morphus says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:35: I can't figure it out either. The sick thing is she would'nt be out there if she did'nt have any customers. It just goes to show how difficult it is for an old lonely guy to get laid in the U.S. that he has to lower his standards beyond normal.
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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:47: Hey morphus, I’m sure she (it) goes down for even a single drag from the pipe. I bet all her costumers are crackheads too. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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moondance says on Oct 19, 2006, 09:52: elmo will be living in Soledad..........taxi ride to the city (and fuck hold on to what u can grab)...a mere $4.00.......but I would love to supplement my meagre stash by doing some possible consulting work.....is that possible
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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 10:13: Soledad sounds good; I’m not too far from there. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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toneloc24 says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:15: Elmo Mannnnn - you are so full of chit!!!! And you got them all fooled too.....Hilarious. Thanks for another laugh. "Don't tase me, bro!!!!" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:17: LOL You look posh in those clothes you actually look like a rich cachaco going to play golf,jijii a real corroncho dont' wear shiny white short and smart press iron t-shirt, actually they don't wear any t-shirts and what with the whiter than white shorts! persil? :))))
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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:40: I agree Tinto, can you sing me up too Elmo :p
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toneloc24 says on Oct 19, 2006, 11:40: Early Halloween costume That pic was Elmo on his way to a an early Halloween costume, going as "rich cachaco." "Don't tase me, bro!!!!" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Oct 19, 2006, 12:36: Tone, you see that little blue cup? that’s your Ron in there. I brought 3 big (pipona) bottles of Ron Caldas form Barranquilla. We down two and I hid yours. As you know, in my apt. we are all boozers. Everyone there is a drunk. Well, a couple weeks ago my daughter comes running to the living room all excited holding the bottle up in the air “look what I found under the sink” Damn, your bottle of Ron Caldas. I'll get there, when I get there! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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MacGringo says on Oct 19, 2006, 12:46: Morphus, I'm givin up the crack if thats what that shit does to you!!
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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 19, 2006, 12:52: very cachaco Elmo, i am dissapointed ;(
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toneloc24 says on Oct 19, 2006, 13:35: Elmo Tell that chick that you bred...I'm deeply hurt.....but nothing that Hennessy and Presidentes won't cure. LOL!!!! "Don't tase me, bro!!!!" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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podborski says on Oct 19, 2006, 18:26: I'm with you Elmo I feel like I did my part to scare the girls away.
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podborski says on Oct 19, 2006, 19:09: I posted her pic as my own photo on my account page as there is no way I am going to read all that crap about how to post a photo, set up an ftp site and blah blah blah. Is there no easier way?
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podborski says on Oct 19, 2006, 19:51: thought you might appreciate that BTW, unfortunately for me, she's a very nice girl, totally unlike the ones I usually meet. She's only wearing that outfit as she was in a fashion show. But she looks good in jeans and a t-shirt too.
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goin_south says on Oct 19, 2006, 23:10: illegal roofus but, unavoidable! that photo must warm things up a bit for you up there in the great white north. Is your igloo melting yet? Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 06:02: Yeah the photo was small but we certainly got the idea. Nice. Very nice. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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MacGringo says on Oct 20, 2006, 08:00: Yeah, I've got to pass on my compliments too. Nice photo!!!
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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 16:25: I prefer the other chick in the small picture over these little elementary school girls. She was hot and she looked like she was legal. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 16:47: I like the one in the wine coloured top, but still too young for me. Doesn't hurt to look though.
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morphus says on Oct 20, 2006, 18:37: They said they wrere in "colegio". I thought that was college. I did'nt know colegio was high school. But at least they graduated...lol
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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 19:09: ok trying the full photo thing [IMG]http://i11.tinypic.com/2my2ryr.jpg[/IMG]
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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 19:10: hmmm never works first time http://i11.tinypic.com/2my2ryr.jpg
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podborski says on Oct 20, 2006, 19:11: uhh I don't get it what am I doing wrong? UC?
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goin_south says on Oct 20, 2006, 21:56: UTC, I hope you didn't 'pull your back out', trying to get sideways, to check out that photo you said you wished we could 'rotate', PP in the green cut-up dress. lol Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 22:09: Some of you guys need to pay closer attention. See those big photos way up at the top of the page. They're GIRLS. MUCHACHAS. NINAS. Now, see that photo one post up. That's a WOMAN. MUJER. MAMACITA. You can tell because she looks like a nice ripe fruit, full and lucious. A woman is what you want. Don't settle for no high school girls. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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utopiacowboy says on Oct 20, 2006, 22:15: I not only messed up my back but I made some other messes too. Still, I got it all rotated nicely and scaled it down so it fit perfectly. On the page. Then I had to admire my handiwork. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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pedro says on Oct 20, 2006, 22:43: Pod When you copy the link from tinypic, choose the one from section: que nota! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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morphus says on Oct 21, 2006, 06:00: The one in Webmanco's pic might be a nina with implants. The girl I posted with the drink in her hand is 22 years old. The other girls are 16 and 17 and from Cali. They just graduated high school and were vacationing in Cartagena.
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podborski says on Oct 21, 2006, 06:17: thanks webmanco, pedro I'm a slow learner, but appreciate the help.
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goin_south says on Oct 21, 2006, 11:10: Elmo, you still bored? this thread is showing potential; they'll have pbh listed under the hun's yellow pages soon. Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Oct 21, 2006, 18:40: morph whatever her age, she doesn't look a day over 16, but the girl in the red tank is fine. congrats! Why Colombianitas? Personally... I just don't like pink areolar tissue. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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