Long distance divorce?

bigtexas1974 says on Jul 12, 2008, 12:16:

I personally believe all you need in this situation is a good lawyer and maybe a power of attorney so someone can sign documentation and all that crap. Depending on the complexity of the situation, you may be able to get it complete without ever being physically present or personally attending court. I have been divorced both in the US (once) and Colombia (once). I no longer believe in the sanctity of marriage. :)

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful, and natural experiences money can buy." - Steve Martin "You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get a little older. Little things, like getting spanked every day by a middle aged woman."

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 12, 2008, 12:24:

Thanks BigT, know any good lawyers here in Medellin?

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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bigtexas1974 says on Jul 12, 2008, 14:12:

I can get you a good reference via work, shoot me a PM with your email or digits.

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful, and natural experiences money can buy." - Steve Martin "You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get a little older. Little things, like getting spanked every day by a middle aged woman."

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dwmte7 says on Jul 12, 2008, 14:58:

i know for many years, a very honest and reliable attorney in envigado (medellin). if you'ld like his name and phone, pm me.
douglas

dwmte

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GregYohn says on Jul 12, 2008, 15:52:

Hola!

In PA, if the spouse is a resident of PA, then the other spouse can file the divorce. Your problem would be that you do not know her address to serve her papers. My divorce lawyer said it is expensive to make public notices in newspapers, instead of her getting the document signed.

12VOIP.com gives free calls to Colombia.Greg

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CatGirl says on Jul 12, 2008, 16:11:

Langrap: Sorry -- maybe I missed something, where were you married. This can make a difference..

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 12, 2008, 17:53:

Long story CG, long story

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 12, 2008, 18:02:

another time Doublemint

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 11:33:

Lanegrapaisa: Lo Siento....I meant what country did you marry? Colombia, USA? I cannot tell from your post

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:11:

Ah, the marriage was in the US, but it wasn't registered here. He is an american citizen. Should I register it here and then start the divorce here? is that possible? and if so is it expensive?, because if it's too expensive I might as well stay married.

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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CanadaMan says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:18:

You can only get divorced in the country where you got legally married from my understanding..


..

Formerly WidowerfromCanada...I am engaged to a wonderful Peruviana.

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:29:

Oh crap, guess I'm staying married then. Iol, sitll I'll consult with some of the lawyers you guys recommended. Thank you very much to all of you

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:33:

Well lanegrapaisa...you don't know what you don't know and you cannot predict the future. If your life takes an unexpected turn, you may have to face this in the future. So if you stay married, what happens if you decide to marry again? As far as I know, even though it is not registered in Colombia it is still a marriage. Or forget marriage.....what if you meet the right person, how do you think they would feel if you told them this? That you are married to someone but just let it go? It is your life, no judgements - but that sounds too flaky for me personally.

I really think you should consult with someone to find out - it is not as hard or expensive as you think and not a good idea to be too cheap.

I can only tell you that a US marriage - you can file for divorce in any state, but you must follow the rules of the state you file for divorce. In some states if you can prove no contact for "x" amount of years you can file for this reason period. I have read some comments of posters here about US divorce in different States.
I can also suggest that you might want to contact the place you filed your marriage license in the US and ask them. You might be able to do it direct, but you still should get some advice. I would think since you live in Colombia and are a resident (correct) at minimum you would need to follow the laws of the State you filed.
Good luck - I wish I could give ya more info but I was on an opposite exchange and followed the State Law and covered all tracks. It was not all that expensive - worth the peice of mind.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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lpdiver says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:41:

Canada Man...You understand incorrectly.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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CanadaMan says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:50:

lpdiver,

Really ? Wow .. I thought you would have to get divorced in the country you got marry..

..

Formerly WidowerfromCanada...I am engaged to a wonderful Peruviana.

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:58:

Candaman - I think it is just the wording. You are correct, Canadaman - the OP will need to file in the US, but is now physically residing in Colombia. As far as I read the OP is curious if they should file from their end in Colombia or US.

Again, it is all speculation - I still think they should contact the Dept they filed the license and learn more.

BTW - if you want divorce, I don't understand the reaoning behind registering the marriage in Colombia and how this would be helpful, but you never know - I would think this could complicate things.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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lpdiver says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:59:

My wife was married prior to our marriage. She was married in Colombia and divorced in Aruba. Her ex never traveled to Colombia for the divorce. It really depends on individual factors.

I passed on the overseas one day divorce; mainly, because my wife would not cooperate and there were financial complications.

It is very much like immigrations and has to be taken on a case by case basis.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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billyb says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:03:

Some food for thought, sicarios are cheaper than lawyers in Colombia ;)

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lpdiver says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:04:

billyb...that though swings both ways my friend. Something to think about next time you are stepping out of the taxi...or into it.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:12:

ok, I'll explain so I don't seem flaky. I went to the states on a tourist visa. tried to get asylum since at least 6 people in my family had been killed during the previous 5 years, including my brother who was shot just 3 years before I went to the States. but when I asked a lawyer his response was and I quote : "Ah what a shame your brother wasn't killed last year, you would get assylum right away". Needless to say, I left the office immediately.
A friend was short of cash and offered to marry me, so we did, yeah I know it's illegal but I did what I had to do, thing is he kept asking for more and more and then did not show up for our last appointment.
I never reopened the case because I decided to leave, I hate lying and I really suck at it, s I didn;t want to do it again. When I asked him to give me the divorce, he said he would do it only if I paid him again. So I left. I rather pay a lawyer than him.
I know what I did was against the law, but like I said I did what I had to do.

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:21:

I don't understand...sorry,
Lanegrap: "I know what I did was against the law, but like I said I did what I had to do."

So you married in the US and returned back to Colombia? I take it you did this to be with your family? That person you married is far from a friend BTW. Sorry that happened. That is illegal BTW (ommitting your part)-- I would not pay one dime to this person "friend".

My ex tried this too - for what? What a low class move......it's called Extortion.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:23:

BB- OMG the sicarios again...you are ruthless Amor

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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lpdiver says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:25:

Turn the tables on him and explain to him the penalties for what he has done.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:28:

LOL, I hadn't seen BB's comment, very true.

CG: I know, he is no longer my friend of course. I came back to be with my mom, she's 70 now and going back and forth to see me was taking a toll on her. So I weighed my options and decided I needed to be with her, The US will always be there (though I might not be able to go back for a while) but my mom might not be. I am happy now.

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:44:

Lp: "Turn the tables on him and explain to him the penalties for what he has done."

Good suggestion. Either way - you need to start with step one, you need to file and have him served with accordance of the State law you filed. because it is all hearsay at this point. If you file and he plays games then things are more documented.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:46:

BTW - it sounds like you were married in Florida. So maybe call the Department of the County you filed your license and ask. They might even have a website

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Papi de Alejo says on Jul 13, 2008, 16:59:

You might want to check out this link

http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/florida.htm

It may not be what you are looking for but it could probably lead you elsewhere. Good Luck!

PdA

PdA

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 13, 2008, 17:01:

Lp: I wish I could, but he is nowhere to be found, I know he moved out of state.

I will however try the county's website, and start whatever procedure they advice.

Thank you all so much.

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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CatGirl says on Jul 13, 2008, 17:10:

OK - you do that...one more note, you commented that you started the process (USCIS)? I am not sure of Flordias laws exactly but if you have a legal document stating his last known address or he has family members in that area (I hope you know something about this person)
You can put up the advertisement in that area - the idea is to prove to the judge you made every "reasonable attempt available" (this is decided by the judge) - it should be granted.

But again, I am only speculating on what Florida requires and I am sure they have many people there that have this same issue. Maybe even contact the Colombian Consulate in florida too

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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lpdiver says on Jul 13, 2008, 17:25:

La Negra...another option is to just do nothing. From your situation as you have described it...he has the most to lose. Let him find you. He can't get married again unless he gets divorced and he will always have his loose ends hanging over his head.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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lanegrapaisa says on Jul 13, 2008, 17:29:

hahaha, true, maybe he'll find another walking ATM who needs to marry him for the same reason, and then I'll have the upper hand, HA! from your mouth to God's ears...

oh that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear

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lpdiver says on Jul 14, 2008, 02:27:

Or maybe he will find TRUE love and be in a real pickle. Or maybe you can sue him for child support. or or or. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes since you now seem to have little to lose.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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GregYohn says on Jul 14, 2008, 07:47:

Hola!

In PA, you can divorce your wife or husband if you marry in another country, AND your spouse living out of the country can divorce you in PA by using a lawyer here if you are a resident here!


CanadaMan says on Jul 13, 2008, 15:50: flag

lpdiver,

Really ? Wow .. I thought you would have to get divorced in the country you got marry..

..

12VOIP.com gives free calls to Colombia.Greg

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