Living together a taboo in Colomia?

wendell13 says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:02:

It is as common as the potholes in Cali....where do you think the term union libre comes from?

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harvardexec says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:04:

This is true. Living together while not being married is taboo in Colombia. She is probably looking for you to buy her a ring irregardless.

"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated."-John McCain

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romy says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:07:

In quite a few families it is taboo... older school of thought, though and things change every day

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:09:

It's not a taboo, not any longer, except in the most conservatice Catholic Opus Dei families. Those girls would not marry a gringo who can't spell his own name either....they've got high standards and don't need a green card for anything.

Now, it does sound like a good, plausible excuse, however, if the young lady (Cidy, right?) needs to relocate with all her paperwork in order.

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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jorgegdiaz says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:20:

want the cake?.... buy it.
It depends if you`ll live close to her family (same city), if both are working or just one income, how conservative her family is (and I mean EXTENDED family too).

"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."Robert Orben

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Joel y Luza says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:21:

Dude, you built a shrine to honor her, throw some benjies out there for a ring. From your past posts, you are hopelessly in love, She's in love.. she is going to need some sort of commitment to immigrate, unless you are moving to Colombia?

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CanadaMan says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:29:

IloveCidy,

It depends on her family ? Are they Conservative , religious or old fashioned ? If they are then her family would find it unacceptable.. She would not go against her family..

Remember this is not an American woman this is a Colombiana.. We should respect their values , heritage , religion and culture..

Kat1 will be here soon with great advice.. She is very wise..

Are you in Love or do you just want to play house and are in Lust ? This is a serious question that maybe you should think about for yourself..

I wish you the best of luck..


..

Formerly WidowerfromCanada...I am engaged to a wonderful Peruviana.

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tasco66 says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:30:

Am I living in taboo?

Bravo, Presidente Uribe for the perfect operation!

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:38:

Ilovecidy, you will beliving in sin, that is absolutely shocking...I think you should make an honest woman out of Cidy, if you don't marry her chances are her cousins and aunts will think of her as unworthy, immoral and all that jazz.
I am half joking BTW, some families still care about that nonsense... I would steer clear of those with that kind of beliefs but this is your gf we're talking about so you know, do whatever floats her boat if you really don't have a problem with marriage.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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IloveCidy says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:48:

I think I do want to marry her, but I just want to be sure. Living together is the only way to be sure. Moreover, I need to protect my assets. I am not worth millions but I don't want to give up half of what I have.

I miss my novia!

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 18, 2008, 13:50:

one word: prenup.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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jorgegdiaz says on Jun 18, 2008, 14:05:

ay que legalizar el polvo...

"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."Robert Orben

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ByronKostner1969 says on Jun 18, 2008, 14:52:

You should get the HINT!

In order to understand the truth, you must first admit you know nothing.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 15:23:

In some families are not acceptable, because que diran los vecinos o la familia, specially i think in high Estratos, but in general is widely acceptable in Colombia now, most of my friends there are living with their partners and are not married including my brother

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 15:32:

BTW where is Colomia? maybe there is a taboo

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 15:45:

I am not paisita. and not I can't corrected, only the boss can :)

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 15:49:

what's wrong with people from Guatemala may I ask?

I am Costeña con mucho honor

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 15:57:

first that looks more like esperanto jejeje

I am from a town near Monteria, Cordoba :))))

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IloveCidy says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:05:

can we get back to my problem please?

I miss my novia!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:08:

I wonder if IloveCidy is a long distant relative of pow wow they both seem to have the same style of post. in a few words Silly

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:11:

IloveCidy, just tell her you wanna try it before taking the plunge, if she says "no, we will keep dating but no living together" all is good, if just gives you an ultimatum I'd say red flag. But that is just me. Most young people in colombia, poor and rich, don't give a rat's arse about this sort of thing.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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calipro says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:35:

Thanks for the wake up call Cerealkiller !!!!

Because I forgot that there are some guys that would actually buy a ring or move in with a women that hadn't let them try it out. LOL !!!

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Joel y Luza says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:44:

Kat-- do you remember this guy's earlier posts??? One post he built a shrine to Cidy, with a video of her playing in the back ground continously...His cross eyed, knock kneed, Jessica Alba that he can't live without... He supposedly lives in the States, and she in Colombia...Seems like, in the past, he implied their undying committment to each other...
and now this post???

At the very least, Cidy is in for an interesting life!!!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:48:

I know Joel so much for love eh?

I am all for the ring, after all I think she gave him her wisdom tooth... fair is fair




now please guys refresh my memory, is this the same guy who was trying to get rid of papi?

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Joel y Luza says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:58:

haha yes Kat! I feel if a gringo is snooping aound in Colombia and happens across a great lady, either commit and come up with a plan to "close the deal" or say "hasta leugo" and let her move on....
But claim to build a friggin shrine to her, and then ask advice about his novia's intentions of wanting a ring?
I am sure Cidy is getting a very special guy!!!

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ByronKostner1969 says on Jun 18, 2008, 17:03:

Funny, as he makes plans for a happy future with her, she is busy making plans to take him for every peso he has. It's time to wake up from your silly little fantasy.

In order to understand the truth, you must first admit you know nothing.

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briarblue says on Jun 18, 2008, 17:40:

My experience has been the same as several of the previous posters mentioned---there are some families (both in Colombia and the States) where it is not looked upon favorably. If her family holds those traditional beliefs, then such is true for your novia. Some families view it as very disgraceful (right or wrong).

If Cidy were my sister or my daughter, then you can bet your last dollar that it would be better for you to refrain from officially living together until you're married.

If I were you, I'd slow my roll and take my time to enjoy the relationship, getting to know each other better, and just enjoy life and each other (living apart and single).

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MaFe says on Jun 18, 2008, 17:45:

Desideria has it 100% right....


Actually more like 200% right! Ilovecindy...open your eyes...

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

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sloopskipper says on Jun 18, 2008, 18:01:

Look to build a mature relationship.

I think that you are not in junior high school, although your posts sound like an infatuated adolescent.

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Robert Jorge says on Jun 18, 2008, 19:56:

I lived with my girlfriend at the time in Colombia. Her mom even co-signed the apartment lease. Outside of family, it was assumed we were married though. I was often introduced as her husband or she my wife. But we did intend on getting married - and did later; post visa process.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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Frank Rizzo says on Jun 18, 2008, 23:27:

If you ever do a real deal of 8 figures....you'll know all about what "stupid filthy little religions" are all about.....

When you, personally, own mutiple 20 story buildings and still have your value system....please let me know.... I'm there and consider myself a tiny, tiny fish in a huge pond.

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kalder says on Jun 19, 2008, 00:06:

American social conservatism doesn't look too bad when you're living in an oh so 'rational' jacobin Euro superstate.

If you're going to have kids, do the sensible, decent and mature thing and get married.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 19, 2008, 03:09:

Joel y Luza says on Jun 18, 2008, 16:58: flag

haha yes Kat! I feel if a gringo is snooping aound in Colombia and happens across a great lady, either commit and come up with a plan to "close the deal" or say "hasta leugo" and let her move on....
But claim to build a friggin shrine to her, and then ask advice about his novia's intentions of wanting a ring?
I am sure Cidy is getting a very special guy!!!

I TOTALLY agree with this, THERE ARE girls in Colombia that marriage is important to them , i was one of them, i didn't like living in "concubinato" specially if i wanted to have kids.


Ilovecidy? well if you want to marry her, the ring don't have to be expensive, if she really loves you she will take any ring, if you are thinking now that she is going with you because of material possessions or green card then you are having doubts about her, and you are NOT in love with her so my advice don't get married and cut loose.

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robi666 says on Jun 19, 2008, 04:20:

llCidy,
give me her telephone number. I'll check out what is better for you to do.
Con gusto.

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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dwmte7 says on Jun 19, 2008, 04:31:

serious time!!! it's not different here. what parent, where, wants their daughter shacking up with some bloke? certainly not me and i did it repeatedly over the years in my own life. it's no different anywhere. one exception, if you're ill intended, the colombian families will figure it out before long and just might take typical colombian corrective measures.

for your own part, since you've certainly made your feelings and intentions clear here on pbh, just follow your heart and see what happens. don't be corraled into a marriage you might not want. if she's really your mate, tradition be damned.

dwmte

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 19, 2008, 05:25:

Rubito, the nuclear family deal is a contemporaty myth. Traditionally, it has never existed.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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kalder says on Jun 19, 2008, 06:13:

I hear you Rubito. On a purely personal level, I find any restrictive milieu irksome. I may be a social conservative, but I'd happily spend my days boozing and mongering. And I wouldn't appreciate anyone getting in my way of that.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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morphus says on Jun 19, 2008, 06:19:

Living together is a big no no in Colombia. Colombianas are expected to be virgins on their wedding night. Imagine the look on the guy's face if she's not...LOL

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dwmte7 says on Jun 19, 2008, 07:19:

yeah, morp, he's like a hog in slop, contented with his sloppy seconds. si o no.

dwmte

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morphus says on Jun 19, 2008, 07:26:

si

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larryrn says on Jun 19, 2008, 13:36:

Well, the last several years I am living in Colombia with a woman - and her whole family knows and really accepts me as being part of the family. No difference than being in the states..

Larry

--- Larry Snyder - http://www.rn.org - Your Source for Online Nursing Education!

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tomtom33 says on Jun 19, 2008, 14:33:

I have to confess. I am also living in sin.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 19, 2008, 15:17:

ah! tomtom you will burn in hell!!! :)))) jijij

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dwmte7 says on Jun 19, 2008, 15:45:

was that "in" or "with", tomtom?

dwmte

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tomtom33 says on Jun 19, 2008, 16:22:

Well, it's a little of both.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jun 19, 2008, 23:07:

With your granddaughter?
That might raise a few eyebrows even in Colombia.

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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MaFe says on Jun 20, 2008, 00:09:

tomtom is that your grandaughter?

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

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CanadaMan says on Jun 20, 2008, 00:29:

Huh... No way..


..

Formerly WidowerfromCanada...I am engaged to a wonderful Peruviana.

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tomtom33 says on Jun 20, 2008, 07:10:

She is a former novia. Fortunately for the human race, I never had children. The woman I live with is in her 40s. She was an avatar change ago.

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romy says on Jun 20, 2008, 12:24:

she must have liked your great looks...
if money couldn't buy happiness why would anybody want it, eh?

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tomtom33 says on Jun 20, 2008, 12:54:

Gracias a Dios para plata.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:13:

I will follow my own advice

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:13:

Tomtom, I'm almost afraid to ask. How old was this little girl at the time? What did her parents think about her having a boyfriend old enough to be her grandfather?

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:16:

with all due respect tomtom33, shes a bit fug. I know young is attractive but not always. I've certainly seen hotter 50 year olds.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:18:

I think she is very pretty, but much too young........
but i don't respect any girl who goes out with a guy old enough to be her grandfather....

you can see her values and her value for materialistic things.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:20:

I'm too old to know what "hot" might mean. I think she has a sweet, pretty face. She doesn't look a day older than 16 to me and that's the scary part.

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:24:

she looks as old as my daughter

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 20, 2008, 15:31:

Come on Desi, I am pretty sure you get what "hot" means.
Hot = sexy= stud = Gerard Butler (sigh), Christian Bale, some fellow PBHers I won't name... Hot means you're allowed to brag about your conquest freely. Anything else is just not worth it, unless you actually like the person for what they are (which is obviously very rare amongst many PBH men...)

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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tomtom33 says on Jun 20, 2008, 16:18:

When that photo was taken, she was about 19. And, yes, I am old enough to be her grandfather. We met through her sister who I had known for several years. She was nice enough but a little too young for me.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jun 20, 2008, 16:19:

Ok, CK, I get it.

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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romy says on Jun 20, 2008, 19:00:

I don't get it... anyways

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dwmte7 says on Jun 21, 2008, 04:12:

i've heard stories about the ozarks that they not only like em young...they prefer it if they're brother and sister.....sick. 'she's a niner, she's a whiner, she's my daughter, clementine.'

dwmte

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Robert Jorge says on Jun 21, 2008, 06:39:

Last case of that, that I heard of - besides the chick in Austria - was in Clewiston, FL. A 50 something guy had been living with his 35 year old daughter since she was 15 and fathered several children with her. I remember he was originally from Kentucky, but moved to the Lake Oceechobee(sp?) area some 40 years ago. Yeeeehaaaa!

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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dwmte7 says on Jun 21, 2008, 08:01:

that dude is even wierder than he looks, and he do look wierd.....way wierd...kinda like he's blind in one eye and can't see outta the other...what a piece of work he is.

too, his folks live upstairs in the same house and knew nothing about the children and grand children.....right? that whole fuckin clan is out to lunch.

dwmte

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Cerealkiller says on Jun 21, 2008, 17:22:

I just read about a simillar case to that of the Fritzl's in Austria in either Meta or Tolima... Some crazy weirdass article on El Tiempo, very disturbing as the children just discovered their grandpa was their dad and the granma had known all along and never did crap (typical, in this type of cases)

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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dwmte7 says on Jun 21, 2008, 17:24:

gonna have to send some of these folks to the 'snap-out-of-it' institute....however, i doubt if there's any hope for them...better just shoot em.

dwmte

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