Living in Colombia

Dan says on Jan 19, 2005, 14:08:

link Thought this could be useful for those wishing to live in Colombia

Can an American own a house in Colombia:
http://www.poorbuthappy.com/colombia/node/view/3175

God Bless America!

Olaf says on Feb 8, 2005, 10:43:

School Recomendation for Bogota Hi,

I'm half Colombian and spent two of my high school years in Colombia. My experience there was incredible and now I'd like to give my 13 year old daughter a similar experience.

My wife are thinking of sending her down there for a semester or two (I have plenty of family down there). Any recommendations on a good bilingual school? Unfortunately I have done a poor job in teaching her Spanish and I don't think she could survive in a non bilingual school as I did.

Nueva Granada seems ok but their web site sucks and I can't learn very much about it. She's not the world's greatest student because she's unorganized so a strict school with nice and unpretentious kids would be great. Would also want her to interact with as many Colombians as possible so the lower the American to Cololmbian ratio the better.


Thanks,
Olaf
shibusawao at aol.com

Atrevido says on Feb 9, 2005, 18:20:

Car Ownership Car ownership in Cali:

The “pase�

As with almost anything you want to do in this country you will need a cedula extranjeria. The easiest way to get a Colombian drivers license is to take a driving course because the license is included and granted automatically at the end of the course. Apparently going directly to the department of transito involves lots of waiting in long lines and getting the license takes much longer. So I’m told. The course consists of ten one hour classes and costs about $400.000. You can get the instructor to double them up if you’re in a hurry. The course is useful even for experienced drivers because there are some differences between US/European driving regulations and Colombian regulations and lots of difference in actual practice. Where in the US could you be in the far right lane in a street with three lanes of traffic and at the stoplight just wave your arm out the window to cross in front of the other two to make a left turn? Routine here and the arm wave generally replaces turn signals. Another advantage of the course is the instructor has you drive all over Cali with the final class taking you through El Centro.

Buying a used car:

I’m convinced that people in Colombia never sell a car just for the sake of change or to upgrade as is common in the US. Instead they seem to only sell a car if there’s something wrong with it they can’t afford to fix. It’s standard practice to insist the car be taken to an auto center for a “peritaje� where it’s thoroughly examined like at triple A centers in the US. They really go over the mechanics and the body with a fine tooth comb. All prior repairs to the body are noted as are underspec engine power, brake ware, shocks etc. Also included is a check that the numbers match and the car was never stolen. The cost is a little over $100.000 so a lot of buyers just take their chances. Between dishonesty and the practice of running vehicles into the ground with out maintaining them are so common here that a peritaje is mandatory if you don’t want to buy junk. While looking we took in three we thought were in top shape only to find two with bad engines and one really cherry looking two year old Mazda doble cabina 4x4 pickup that had frame damage and every single body panel repaired. I’ve had real confidence in one such inspection company until just recently. I took the Mazda estacas I finally bought from a dealership in for a headlight alignment only to find there’d been body repair to that corner which somehow escaped the notice of the peritaje inspectors. I now suspect there may be some “convenio� between the inspection company and the big car dealerships whereby less obvious faults are overlooked.

Ownership costs and insurance:

After you buy the car the paperwork goes to the department of transito so the vehicle will be put in your name and a “tarjeta de propiadad� issued to you. The dealership promises you’ll have it in a week but in my case the department in Palmira where the car was originally bought was waiting for new forms to be printed and I got my ownership card four months later! Once a year you must buy SOAT about $350.000 which is an obligatory insurance that covers medical costs of people you hit whether they’re in/on a vehicle or on foot. You must also have your vehicle emissions tested once a year, about $25.000. These three documents must be carried in the car so you can show them to the “Guarda De Transito� (traffic police) at frequent traffic stops. They seem to only ask for your license if there’s a problem with one of the other three. If regular police pull you over they’re interested in your license and ownership card. There is no safety inspection so if the car runs the only thing you have to worry about is not hitting some body. Should you have an accident and there is even the most minor injury (a scraped elbow on the guy in my case when a moto ran into my door) both vehicles will go straight to the “patio� where they will sit for a month (anything removable better be removed before you leave) while the guarda decides who is to blame. Obviously it is desirable to avoid the guarda if at all possible. It is also a great idea to carry insurance with a private company in addition to the SOAT. Mine for example will send a lawyer directly to the scene of the accident to shmooze the other party and get a signed agreement from them before the guarda arrive. In my case the guy accepted $100.000 and released me of all further responsibility thanks to the lawyer. Private insurance on your vehicle is expensive however costing over a million pesos a year. Rates are very high because the main purpose of it is to protect in case of auto theft. Finally there is the annual “impuesto rodamiento� which is like the property tax paid in many states in the US and varies according to year and value of the car. It ran me another $200.000.

Cars are expensive even though many brands are assembled here like Toyota, Mazda/Ford, Chevrolet (mostly Izuzus) and Renault and used cars especially so. You might easily pay up to a thousand (US) more for the same used car in the states. As a result you see few rusting hulks and lots of old “alphabet soup� things made up of parts from anything the builder can get his hands on. If it has a frame and the semblance of a body it’s rebuild able.

My advise unless you have to get to an out of the way finca walk or take the bus. You’ll save a lot of money and endless headaches.

Byron Farrow says on Feb 15, 2005, 07:49:

School's A low 'Extranjero' to Colombian ratio is not hard to find here. Nueva Granada and the Anglo ( http://www.anglocol.edu.co/ ) are both almost exclusively Colombian in terms of students although they both have a good mix of USA / British / Canadian / Aussie / etc teachers. Unfortunately competition for places is hard, but feel free to give it a go. Personally I believe behaviour standards to be higher at the Anglo, but the Nueva Granada has a more USA style curriculum ( Anglo is more international.)

One point I'd make is that both are VERY cliquey and new students can find it hard to adapt!

carolain11 says on Feb 20, 2005, 17:30:

schools well, basically most of schools are "bilingual" right now but that's just in theory... I think that 2 good options would be the Abraham Lincoln school or the Anglo Colombiano...
www.anglocol.edu.co
www.abrahamlincoln.edu.co

Bec says on Mar 15, 2005, 13:00:

Move to Colombia Hi, I spent some time with my husband working in Colombia several years ago - it has left quite an impression on us! We have travelled around a bit with work and are looking at our future options (currently UK based). We have a young family and basic/intermediate Spainish. My husband works in project management/development in a social inclusion setting, I'm a social worker. Where would we start to look for work in Colombia? Anyone got any advice?

cynthiaschaub says on Apr 3, 2005, 13:12:

Maybe Moving to Colombia in Near Future / From the US Hola! I am currently living in Atlanta GA and maybe moving to Colombia by the end of the year. I own a massage company here and it does very well. I have worked for myself for over 7 years. I wanted to know if anyone knows if the massage business is good. Are massage therapists in demand? Are people paying for it? Are there massage schools? Any information may be helpful. I just do not know where to start. I was also thinking of teaching English eventually. CAS

medellinmike says on Apr 3, 2005, 19:25:

you can on property in cartagena yes, you can see my site for good deals.www.apts.8k.com
have a great week
Mike

have a great week

LDW says on Apr 20, 2005, 14:13:

retirement in Colombia Because of its reputation, Colombia does not seem to be high on people's list as a retirement destination, but I know that some people do it and those that I know about are very happy. Most references seem to be to places like San Andres, Cartagena, and Santa Marta. However, the place I really like (because of its temperate spring-like climate) is Armenia (Quindio). My wife is Colombian (from Cali), and I speak passable Spanish, so I am sure we would be fine there. It is also a close drive to Pereira, which has an international airport. Armenia's temperate climate would make golf a much more enjoyable passtime there too. Any reader's thoughts about Armenia would be appreciated, most particularly as to its relative safety and how the city's cost of living compares to other parts of the country.

Profesora says on Apr 24, 2005, 00:34:

Being Chaste (or Chased) in Colombia Sex, or the prospects of it, should never be one's reason for going anywhere. I really believe this as I spent a year in Korea listening to my Korean girlfriends cry about how their scummy western boyfriends used and abused them. As a professional ESL teacher, I get seriously pissed off with said scummy western men damaging my profession by using English "teaching" to fiance their sexual forays into another culture.

That said, I am I made of stone, so I want to have a normal social life in Colombia. I don't discriminate on colour or nationality, but I do on education and attitude. I want to ask the colombianos here how to go about the dating scene in Colombia being safe, respecting the culture, and not ending up with a machista monster (not that I can tollerate machismo in its purest forms anyway).

Gracias .. Profe.

jerry says on Apr 27, 2005, 18:06:

buy a truck Can you buy a new chevy 2500 in Cartagena Colombia? My colombian wife and my are thinking of moving there. Just wondering if I can have a truck? Thanx. Any thoughts if you can get a little land and a 4 bedroom home in Cartagena for about 125,000.00? thanx again for the help.

LDW says on Apr 30, 2005, 12:21:

You were an English teacher in Korea? For an "English teacher", your spelling and grammar leave something to be desired. Should your prospective Colombian students not expect a better example? Modern word processing programs have spelling and grammar checks. At the very least, you should edit your postings more carefully.

jerry says on Apr 30, 2005, 17:40:

hmmmm maybe I think your face might be ugly and you should go into public! Maybe your fat! Maybe you don't make enough money? Maybe you've been devorced and are a bad example. Or is just that you like to critize people? Well I am sure you will get yours too! If your so perfect I bet you make less money then me. May I think and others that you should keep your mind to yourself.

toknight50 says on Apr 30, 2005, 22:27:

Casinos? I have worked in the casinos in Las Vegas for 20 years and have dealt 21, craps and the wheel and have sat box and walked the floor and I play poker for fun and have dealt it a little. Does anyone know how I could get a job at one of the casinos? William

jerry says on May 1, 2005, 09:14:

property and a house I see alot of apartments in Cartagena. Can you buy a house and small lot 1/2 acre in Cartagena? Are these availible?

jjhill says on May 8, 2005, 14:20:

has anyone volunteered in bogota for human rights organizations? I have been to Colombia twice; once on a human rights delegation where we met with different grassroots organizations that help displaced people in the cities. they help "peace communities" meaning those communities who do not support any armed group, the guerrillas, paramilitaries, or the army. i now have the opportunity to work with kids, etc. through a couple of these organizations but now since i will go alone and not with the protection of a delegation, i'm a liitle worried. has anyone done such work?

Mak says on May 12, 2005, 17:06:

School recomendation I recomend you "the English School" (http://www.englishschool.edu.co/). They usually accept students for short term or you could search for an exchange program. I also studied in Cartagena in George Washington High School ( http://www.cojowa.edu.co/ ). I remember seeing exchange students, and others that only spoke english.

I studied in many countries, and I think that sending her for a year could be great for her.

Maria

Mak says on May 12, 2005, 17:12:

Massage company Hola Cas,

I lived in the states and am living actually in Colombia. Massage here are a little different, massages and theraphies are very cheap here. I don't know on how the business could work, but taking a different approach towards it may help. I had somo sessions done a month ago, and they where $20,000 each, about US9.
I hope this helps you somehow.

Maria

Phil Sparrow says on May 18, 2005, 01:37:

Dilema.... Perhaps dilema is to strong a word and I'm sure for many people reading this, it may be the kind of dilema they might like to have. My wife (this is our second marriage) was married to a Colombian and lived for 20years in the northern suberbs of Bogota. She returned, after 20years, back to her home town of Northampton where we met and subsequently married. I'm from Northumberland and live in the hills bordering England and Scotland. Last year (2004) having heard so much about Colombia we visited. During the holiday I drove from Bogota across the linear to Cali (an amazing drive) and back as well as visiting many other places throughout Colombia including San Andreas and Providencia.
I now find myself part owner of a beautiful plot of land (about 5 acres) in a very up and coming area just north of Bogota and with permission to build a house. Through marriage we now have two homes in the UK one of which is rented out. The intention would be to sell one of the UK properties and move to Colombia for a year whilst the house is being built. Thereafter, split our time between the Colombia and the UK. My wife insists that once there I will want to spend a higher proportion of our time in Colombia!
Clearly there are many obstacles to overcome. Infact reading the comments of people on this site only highlights some of the problems we need to overcome. I am very open minded infact being a bit of an adventurer I feel very excited at the prospect. I have to say that despite being 6 feet tall, fair haired and blue eyed I still felt relatively safe nomatter where....yes even in downtown Bogota!!!
I would be very grateful of anyones thoughts or views on this situation....Phil

rjstuff says on May 24, 2005, 12:03:

Banking delay Issues I sent my fiance a check last month and it cleared my bank (Denver, Colorado) on May 13th, but as of yesterday her bank has still not put the funds in her account! This is 12 days after the money has been taken from my account! Anyone know how long before the Colombian banks credit the customer's account after receiving funds? Am I/us being too impatient? She deposited the check in her account April 28th, my bank cashed it May 13th (a difference of 15 days), I don't understand the slow processing after the money has been taken.
Also, anyone has information on how long after I wire the money will the funds be available to her, maybe I will wire it the next time (Its more expensive though)? She is in Barranquilla but uses a national bank.

pompano says on Jun 4, 2005, 17:00:

Moving to Cali My wife and I are building a home outside of Cali. I am interested in getting information on shipping appliances from Miami to Cali. The applinces are resonable in Florida and the Quality are good. I want to ship a container to my builder with refrierator, oven, dish washer, Microwave, plumbing faucets, pool motors. solar pool heater, washer /dryer and so on . I find prices in Cali high and models unknown to me. Is the cost of shipping, duty and whatever worth it?

mamitaruby says on Jun 9, 2005, 17:34:

i want to know I have dual citizenship,USA, Colombian. My husband is an American retiring soom, so we want to go to Colombia for a year or two or more.
What do I need to do to get him in the country for that lengh of time?
Any suggestions?

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:04:

Try colegio ColomboAmericano, its a very nice private school, to give you an idea rich people send their kids to this kind of school.
I am sure if you live in the US for more than a year would not be expensive for you

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:11:

NOp Only if you know anybody in ADUANAS that can help you (i mean to bribe him) Buenaventura is where your staff will come in and burocracy will make it very difficult to get your staff back once in their warehouses.
Last year we send some equipment to Cali, we didn't have any choices but pay someone to help us out.
But i think there are some companies in Miami that do all the paperwork for you ( almost all the paperwork ).
You can get any american brand in Cali, If you need some help let me know.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:14:

Citizenship You have to go to "DAS" in colombia, its just like the INS in the US, they will help you with the paperwork.
You can also apply to get him a colombian citizenship, it will be easier, and cheaper that paying all the fines if he overstay.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:18:

wiring money In the future use Moneygram or a company like that, the money should be there next day, not problem as long as she have all the apropiate ID.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:23:

Living in Bogota I am from Cali, but i can tell you that you will fell in love with Bogota this days, its very clean and cosmopolitan, there are a lot of americans living in Bogota ( in the nicest areas of course).
People is not as friendly like Medellin or Cali but is just because i live there for 24 years and i know how my " rolitos" think.
Good luck

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:28:

Volunteer in Bogota If you are going to volunter in Bogota, try to stay within the city limits.
I am sure that ICBF will gladly welcome your help, its very nice of you to help my people.
But i will not recommend going to troubles zones without the back up of an Organization.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:32:

Truck in Colombia You will find that any car in the US will be sold in Colombia + some european cars.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:35:

living in armenia Try Medellin, i bet you will like the temperature and "I think" is safest.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:38:

Missing el Sapo You can buy the RANA in colombia and get your handy skills and build the box, its not that complicated.
I found some plans long time ago on the internet.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

jbyron1734 says on Jun 15, 2005, 13:44:

You will get carjack comming from Panama, that is sad but true---------- and about women, I can only tell you to look in the big cities, Barranquilla, Medellin, Cali.
You will find the most beautifull women in Medellin (Blondes)and Cali( Brunettes), you pick.
You will find hillbillies anywhere in the world.

jbyron1734@yahoo.com

Tim Cole says on Jun 16, 2005, 05:49:

How much does it ost to live? Tim

How much does it cost to live in Medellin. I am thinking of being there for six months. Rent a house etc.

What would I need to budget?

Food and accommodation? Going out? Renting a car?

Any help greatly appreciated.

Tim

jruff says on Jun 21, 2005, 16:12:

to Phil Sparrow: I just got through doing what you're anticipating. QWhat do you want to know?

jruff says on Jun 21, 2005, 16:20:

jruff English teachers (credentialed) are always in demand.

jruff says on Jun 22, 2005, 10:26:

buy a truck While you might find a relatively new Chevy, Ford, Dodge truck in Colombia, few, if any, dealers work on the v-8's or larger engines. With the computer driven applications which are standard in the US, you'll find real service problems there. New vehicles are subject to an 85% tax based on the assessed value of the vehicle at time of import. I was quoted US$92,000 for a 2004 Toyota Landcruiser in Nov 2004. Price in the US is just over $40,000. I wanted a Toyota Tundra. Had one before moving to Colombia last year. NONE are imported by any dealer in the country. Saw one on the autopista, but no one can service them. It's best to find a Toyota Hilux (called a Toyota Tacoma in US) but only available in std cab or 4 door. Get something that can be serviced locally and expect to pay a lot more for a newer vehicle that you would in the US.

jruff says on Jun 22, 2005, 10:33:

visa Get a two year visa in the US BEFORE you go. If not, you have to renew every 30 days and I don't know how long you can do that.

chaaynes96 says on Jul 20, 2005, 16:07:

retireing in Cali I am retired with a good income, My spanish is fair but I would like for it to be better. I want to live in an appartment or flat near the bus lines. I want to know about the internet, and the cafes that have them. the exchange rate to the us dollar. I lived in Mexico for a while but grew tired of it. The restruants, are they good? What do I expect to pay for rent? Where would I stay while I look for an appartment? Who could I count on for a guide until I was situated?
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I am a single male, 65.
Thanks Charlie

harrygrz says on Jul 22, 2005, 21:28:

internet service I was interested in the phone service using my home computer. What does internet service cost in Bogota? Can you get broadband? Is one company more reliable than another?

thanks

vermontgirl says on Aug 3, 2005, 09:37:

schools in colombia my daughter to is going to school in colombia she is 17.SHe attends colegio britanico which is a biligual school.She will pick up spanish very fast.I am very happy & impressed with this school.Marymount & parrish are 2 other very good schools.

Diez Y Siete says on Aug 4, 2005, 13:39:

billingual school i know that san bartolome is considered a bilingual school and it is in bogota. i dont know if it truely is a good bilingual school. but i just had an exchange friend here in the us and he graduated from san bartolome and is now attending javeriana and he speaks very good english but im sure it wouldnt take her too long to pick up spanish if her teachers were willing to help :)

bagger59 says on Aug 9, 2005, 22:56:

internet Not sure about broad band but I bought a internet card when I was in Bogota for $10.00 it was good for 10 hrs. I only used half for business communications and will use the remaning when I return this month.

precession says on Aug 26, 2005, 16:56:

There are upscale massage & beauty parlors.
A massage at a weekend club runs for 15.000
I know of a medical doctor who gives massages
and only charge 30.000 for the hour.

Dont expect to get USD $50 / hour as I just do not think it possible,
though I wish you all the best.

precession says on Aug 26, 2005, 17:05:

Dating I appreciate your remarks about sex opportunities, but as you say:
Chased or Chaste. No-one (assuming a normal relation) is forced to go to bed with anyone else.

I am a foreigner iving 12 years now in Colombia.
I know many Colombian men, many of whom are not
what I would call macho. So just get out there
and meet people and see who you can find.

Do you belive in destiny?

Cheers,
precession

mikecolombia says on Aug 27, 2005, 08:48:

Never send personal checks. I don't think you'll ever see the money again. If you wire her the money, she should receive it within the hour.

anclaisa says on Sep 2, 2005, 11:35:

Money issues The problem is the process that undergoes clearing a check. It is a timely process, because they (Banks) do all type of security check on both the issuer or the cashee of the check. It can easily take 2-3 weeks, so I would encourage an electronic transfer. However, when this is done, the account holder to which you have sent the money to, will have to go into the nearest branch of his bank and "claim" (in spanish it's called Monetizar) that this money iss intended for him and fill out a form in which he states the origin of the money. A more lengthy process will take place if the money transferred exceeds 10K. So if you need to send in more than 10K, send two or more wire transfers, splitting the amount sent. This will guarantee that the money will "clear" faster. All these are measures by financial and police authorities to prevent drug money just pouring into the country. So be patient.

anclaisa says on Sep 2, 2005, 11:39:

Internet serviced Harry, if you are still wondering, yes you can get broadband in Colombia and the prices are very competitive. Depending on which city you are located, the company/operator will differ. If in Bogota, I recommend CABLENET (www.cable.net.co)which is the broadband business of TVCABLE, the largest cable operator. Subscribing to the two services (TVCABLE and CABLENET) will get you the best deal, vs. getting each on your own (i.e. DirecTv and CABLENET).
Let me know if this was useful.

anclaisa says on Sep 2, 2005, 11:41:

retireing in Cali Charlie, when is your trip for? I just came to the US after 25 in Colombia and can share with you some information. I just need to know if you still require it. Email me at anclaisa at ixp.net if you believe I can assist you.

anclaisa says on Sep 2, 2005, 11:47:

For Cynthiaschaub Hello Cynthia. I just relocated to the US and found your message,. Like everything and everywhere, business is good as long as you target the right market and are located in the best place with reference to this target group. I just got of the phone with a cousin who is selling her Spa, very high-end and good clientelle, because she will be relocating to the US by the end of the year as well (her husband will be transferred here by then). If you are still interested, email me at anclaisa at ixp.net and I can put you in touch.

Manu says on Sep 4, 2005, 12:08:

NO WAY!! Colombia is nothing like what you think, Colombia is a beautiful place and in the last 7 years Colombia has improved even more.
I have many english friends that've been to Colombia and they just loved it, they even described it as "paradise on earth"... visit Colombia and see it yourself... you wont regreat it!!!

monica says on Sep 19, 2005, 10:30:

INTERVIEW Sorry, my english isn´t good. I,m in Colombia und I try to find American People that lives and works here. I´m producer for Mazdoc (www.mazdoc.com) und we want to do Portraits about American People that want to stay hier in Kolumbien und interactions whit the Cultur of Colombian People.
Hola, vivo y trabajo en Colombia, (www.monicaforero.com)(www.Mazdoc.com) En este momento estoy buscando personas Norteamericanas que esten interesadas en participar en una entrevista. El objetivo es mostrar Norteamericanos que viven y trabajan en Colombia y que al mismo tiempo interactuan con la cultura y las personas de Colombia

ecarangel says on Sep 23, 2005, 08:27:

my family's home in Barranquilla my parents are selling their home in the Barrio Hipodromo - calle 28 de Barranquilla. We need help. We have lived in the US for 30 years and my parents hoped to retire in Colombia. But with health concerns, they need to stay closer to me (their daughter). Please if you have any suggestions to selling a home in Colombia or please contact me if you know about the area and can give us suggestions for realtors or people looking for homes. Thank you so much - que Dios los bendiga siempre...

ECA

ECA

diebels says on Sep 25, 2005, 00:43:

Livelihood in Medellin Hi from Germany!
I am planning to spend one year in Medellin to work in a non-profit-organisation.
I would like to know with how much costs i have to calculate, like for example "how much does a room cost", the daily costs, etc.
Can anyone help me with that?
Many thanks!!
Diebels

steve mezner says on Sep 30, 2005, 12:09:

chasing girls in colombia yes we know how us americans are god gift to all women we set in the bars and and talk how great we are and really we done have nothing to share with with a good loving women no matter where they are from i see alot of that in colombia i have been going to colombia for 7 years i'am married to colombian for 5 years i give of myself to the people of colombia i love them i respect them oh yes they my not have all the material things that we have in usa but the thing they have are more important like lot of love kindest feelings true feelings they are some of the most loving people on earth i have been to romote aears of colombia not one bit trouble if you want respect you have to be willing to give it and get off the ego trip if you take your car to colombia why would you want american tags if you look for trouble you will find it good luck don't let your money lead you always let your heart and good luck

steve mezner says on Sep 30, 2005, 12:24:

has anyone volunteered in bogota yes i work with kids not in bogota but cali and in other parts i'am married to a colombian and i live part time in cali so if you have any question shoot back with them

steve mezner says on Sep 30, 2005, 12:42:

retirement in colombia hey armenia is an excelent place to live it is as safe as you can get in colombia cost of living is low sounds like you haven't been there i have and that's where iam going to live when i go back in december i have been to serval places in colombia but armenia is the best my wife is from cali good place if you like big cities the quality of air isn't to good in cali but the people are the greatest don't worry about safety worry about your fears they do the the most harm, self is our worst emeny so good luck you sound like good person you will do all right in colombia your friend steve

BarryRichards says on Oct 7, 2005, 08:52:

wages What are salary ranges in Colombia ?

traveler803 says on Oct 18, 2005, 13:07:

Internet service Just returned from almost a month in Bogota. My son applied for internet service while I was there from ETB. The hostel where I stayed used internet service where you could also call long distance (international) via your internet connection. I believe it's going to be about $75 (US) per month to have the long distance service included.

werowe says on Nov 10, 2005, 08:36:

please delete

gtpsguy says on Nov 13, 2005, 09:38:

Moving to Colombia Dear CynthiaSchaub,

Regarding your question about the massage business in Colombia, I would tell you that it is pretty bad paid, and you would have a hard time making a living here doing that kind of job. Besides the low payments you would get, many Brothels advertise themselves as Massage centers.

In conclusion, I would recommend you to teach english first and then, once here, take your time to look for an therapeutic school where you can teach new techniques to Colombian therapists.

If you would like some help once you arrive to Colombia, feel free to contact me. I lived in the US (MN) for 5 years, and went to Grad School there. Also, my sister lives in Atlanta, and I am going to spend a month there for vacation in december. I would like to meet some American people who live in Colombia since I extremely grateful with americans for the great time I had there.

I hope to hear from you and very good luck!


Best regards,

CTina70 says on Nov 19, 2005, 18:56:

Schools Nueva Granada is not all that great a school. The American Embassy sends most of the families to this school. The school has hightened security but most of the people say the education is nothing to write home about. The other schools that are more international or bilingual Colombian schools have a much higher education standard. I know kids who have to have tutors to get through Math and Science because the US is so far behind them in these subjects.
Good Luck.

CTina70 says on Nov 19, 2005, 19:23:

Broadband We had cable intenet in Bogota. It was through out tv cable company. TV Cable. I am not sure of the price because my hubby's job took care of the bills but they do have it.

cobbook6104 says on Nov 26, 2005, 04:23:

stay away You turn my stomach with your low expectations of Colombian women and the culture. You my distant friend are a addition we would not like to see in Columbia.
All though Columbia is very safe, I feel you would find grave danger with your attitude.

Stay in Panama,

Florida Bob

florida bob

aljig says on Nov 29, 2005, 09:16:

Schools Hi,

I'm a teacher in one of the English-bilingual international schools in Bogota. Generally speaking the schools here are very good, trust me every school has its ups and downs. If you want to teach, check out www.tesjobs.com as this site has all of the international schools vacancies listed. It also has a staffroom noticeboard where teachers post cryptic comments about the schools.

jessicariascos says on Nov 29, 2005, 12:29:

Hi I am looking for help in finding a place to rent in CALI!!!! Hello, I am from the US and my fiance is teaching english in Cali. He is native to Colombia, although we met 8 years ago here, in the US. I am moving there with my baby, and we are going to find a place to live for awhile. I am terrible at spanish and was wondering if someone knew of a good area. I know that I like the area around Chipechape, because I have been there before. But maybe you can help. Please!! Thanks

herbmanforever says on Dec 13, 2005, 07:18:

ANY CHANCE OF A JOB Hello there , im planning to travel out there in the next 6 weeks anychance of a job , i played football at home and have a small bit of experience on massage looking after the whole team .

HERBMANFOREVER

Erikin01 says on Dec 21, 2005, 05:35:

To Phil Sparrow Phil

I am a colmbian living and working in East london. I can only tell you that if you have the opportunity to live in Colombia, take it! The quality of life is a lot better, i know there will be a lot of issues to overcome but if you think is right just do it.

I wish i could go back and work and live there.

Mandarina says on Dec 29, 2005, 12:30:

Going to Colombia on Student Exchange Hello,
I was wondering if it would be relativly safe for me to live in Bogota, Colombia for six months and go to school. I doubt that I would leave the city at all, maybe fly to Cartagena with some friends but I would mostly just stay in the city. I have many friends who live in Bogota and are Colombian, so I would just go out with them. Also, I just have the basic knowledge of Spanish, but I am improving.
I really want to travel to Colombia it seems like such an interesting place!

etn2 says on Jan 1, 2006, 13:46:

Foreign Home Owner & Colombian Taxes I just funished buying property and undergoing building a multi family dwelling. Three story dwelling. I was able to puchase the land with my U.S. Passport. I had a lawyer, civil engineering contractor, blue prints approved, permits, etc. done. Ownership took about 90 days. Great now I'm an owner with foreign investments in Colombia. I have tried to get information on taxes for the property and have not been able to get any direct answers. With respects to opening up a bank account;I didn't have any success opening an account in Colombia. I even got a Colombian id number to utilize in opening up an account and was informed that I had to be residing in Colombia to open the account. I would like information on Colombia's taxes,which banks would allow for me to open up an account and renters management offices. Thanks you for any information that helps.

Thanks you for your reply.

Pista79 says on Jan 10, 2006, 13:19:

Finding Work in Cali To everyone at poorbuthappy and anyone that has lived in Cali. I am in the mist of possibly moving to Cali for a few months starting next fall (yes I am planning early). I have the accomodations side of things taken care of, but would like some help in looking for employment. Although I understand the standard employment advice is ESL schools I am also very open to other suggestions. I am completely fluent in Spanish so language is not a problem.

So if anyone has list of schools and other employment suggestions and ways to apply that would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Cheers,

Nick
Toronto, Canada

tgdavis_01 says on Jan 15, 2006, 11:41:

Moving to Colombia I am interested in moving to Colombia. I have friends in Medellin and have been there several times and have fallen in love with the country, the city, and the people there. I would like to know about what visas I need to get and I would also like to open a business there and maybe get a limited partnership visa. Is there anyone here who has knowledge of that? Will I need to get an attorney for the visa and the business licenses? Basically, what am I looking at to make this happen.
TD

TD

firebird1975 says on Jan 17, 2006, 04:15:

I need information concerning Columbian women. Hello,

I was lucky to fully retire and have been looking via the Internet since 2001 for a place that might be more to my liking compared to the United States these days. While I am not wealthy, I have a good income.

I am narrowing my choices and hope to visit Columbia in 2007.

Since I am single and American women that I have met where I live ( a major city in Texas) or read about from other men on the Internet all seem to be very cold. That is as nicely as I can put it.

The Columbian women seem to have a reputation for being very aggressive in pursuing foreign men.

I am just curious why or if it is even true.

Any place that I might relocate will have to provide better chances of romance than I have encountered all my adult life in the United States. I have been able to achieve at a fairly young age what most people are lucky to ever achieve. And it is always more fun to have a companion to share life with.

Since I am unusual that I was able to retire at the age of 45 (in 2001) after working for the government, what I would like to do is visit Columbia for a few months and see how I like it.

The lure of the beautiful Columbia women is a large factor in where I might visit and ultimately call home.

One last question. Are the women just looking to leave Columbia and hope to marry a gringo? Because it is very possible that I may not return to the United States except to visit friends and family, if a Columbian woman did show romantic interest, she may not wind up living in the United States but still live in Columbia.

I am not looking for some type of ‘romance agency'. I am nice looking and feel that if I was amoung women that are not spoiled like those in the United States, I would have a decent chance to find love.

I have looked for 20 plus years in the US and unless I have a large income, drive a great car or live in the nicest house, I am basically out of luck in pursuit of an attractive woman with a great personality. Nice guys finish last in the US.

Any 'real' information would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Firebird

BTW: one poster commented that moving to find love is never a good idea. One that issue, I do not agree. It is better to try and fail in hopes of finding the love of your life than never giving everything possible in the pursuit of what makes you happy. And to me, being in love is the greatest thing.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 19, 2006, 17:23:

Clueless In Columbia... It´s the same four guys every time. There´s one guy
with a set of maraccas who´s having an epileptic fit,
another has a little guitar, strumming just two
chords, back and forth, over and over again. The third
guy likes to shout things, normally �y, ay, ayyyyy!´at
the top of his little lungs, and whoever gave the
fourth guy his trumpet for Christmas should be shot.
But it´s these same four guys who play from every
speaker in every bar, every restaurant, every street
corner, every nightclub and, like now, every taxi in
the city. After a while it just becomes background
music, inaudible no matter how loud, like the way one
ceases to hear a grandfather clock after a prolonged
period of time.

The taxi driver stops behind several other cars which
are waiting for the lights to change, thinks twice
about it, then swings into the left hand lane to
undertake the cars and jump the lights anyway - just
as a pick-up truck comes round the corner. Car horns
sound. These are also background noise, but this time
there´s just cause. The taxi swerves, judders, jerks
violently, then accelerates between the truck and the
queue of awaiting cars. My head hits the roof, which
looks like it´s made of cardboard and held on by Blue
Tac, and Louis laughs.

"We have to tip this driver, mate."

I nod and Louis laughs again.

"They´ll never find us now, mate."

He´s refering to the apartment we´ve just visited
which will shortly be our home; a small two bedroom
flat tucked away behind an ice cream parlour. From the
exterior it looks like storage space for the shop,
perhaps for wafer cones or 99 flakes, but the door
opens into a beautiful, second floor, Shadwell-esque
crack den with no Air Conditioning, no hot water, no
working refrigerator, and a kitchen so small that...
well, let´s just say I´ve seen bigger coffins. And all
for just 75 quid a month.

But perhaps this is jumping the gun. The last time I
wrote to you guys I was in Bogota.

The worst thing about Bogota is the altitude. When
you´re in a city between two mountains it´s to be
expected. The air is so thin you can barely take a
breath, smoking really does kill you, and the effects
of alcohol hit you tenfold. So why I decided to climb
up one of the mountains I have no idea. Well, except
that there was a pretty little church on the top. The
cable car that takes you halfway up, like most things
in Columbia, would never pass the stringent safety
tests of the Brits - the 89 degree angle up which it
climbs would have the thing closed down within
seconds. But Columbia is different like that. Safety
comes second to price.

Do you guys want to know what the view was like?
Imagine standing atop a mountain range. Imagine, on
the horizon, many many miles away, another mountain
range. Now imagine a city that´s tried to take up as
much room as possible between these two natural
obstructions, stretching from rocky face to rocky face
and all the way down the valley between them, and you
get a pretty good idea. As I was watching, I noticed a
cloud was coming right at me, at a pretty high speed,
and showing no signs of slowing down. A cloud. Coming
towards me. I braced myself for the impending
collision, and giggled a little as it´s gaseous form
passed around me. It felt like fog. Then I went
chasing more clouds, skipping with glee towards every
nimbo stratus I could find.

Bogota is supposed to be the fourth or fifth largest
city in the world. I didn´t believe it at first, but
from this angle there´s no doubt about it. You´re so
high that clouds are passing through you, and you
still can´t see where the city ends. Anyway, enough
description. Back to the action.

Have your ears ever popped on a bus before? A plane,
certainly, but a bus? When I landed in Bogota, my ears
didn´t pop. It´s something like 3,000 feet above sea
level. And yet, when I took the bus from Bogota to
Barranquilla, out of the mountains, they were in
agony. I´d called Louis the day before to check how
long this ride was supposed to take, and to my dismay
he told me it took 12 hours. I left at 10am, on a nice
air conditioned bus, and enjoyed scenery that only the
likes of Jurassic Park or Land Of The Giants can
compete with. Huge mountains, huge plants, huge rocks,
rivers, trees, animals, birds and huge everything. I
felt very little.

I was sitting next to a man who held a small cardboard
box in his hands. It was punctured with holes, and
something - I have no idea what, but something - was
obviously caged inside. I was reminded that I haven´t
had my rabies shot.

I fell asleep, and woke up at a Columbian roadside
cafe. You might have seen a few dodgy places in your
time, but believe me this was something else.
Everybody piled into the cafe and started screaming in
Spanish for food or water while little kids tugged on
my pants and asked for pesos. These kids are poor, I´m
telling you. Torn clothes and dirty faces. But if you
give one of them money, twenty more will take their
place. A bleeding heart can be the death of you in
this country. Of course, a bleeding bullet hole to the
chest is far more likely, so you have to watch out for
that as well.

People were throwing huge slabs of mysery meat onto
rudimentary barbeques and shouting ámigo! amigo!´. The
whole community existed, nay depended, upon the bus
loads of people travelling from one city to another,
and their livlihoods were apparently sustained by
stupid American tourists who must say, ´why yes, I´d
love to buy that phoney Rolex which looks like it´s
about to fall apart... how many thousand pesos you
want for it?´

My T-shirt had English writing on it. They just would
not leave me alone.

I ended up avoiding the main cafe, and eating cold
pizza and drinking two beers from a man who´d taken an
ice box and his plastic patio furniture to the side of
the road to make a few bucks. The whole thing cost me
4,000 pesos , which works out at maybe a little less
than one pound.

That´s another thing about the country. I don´t want
to sound like one of these people who go to France to
bring back 20,000 cans of cheap Stella, but you can
make English money go a long way. Unfortunately, so
can the locals, which is why they try to fleece you at
every opportunity they get.

The average beer costs 30-50p, (though Louis has found
a local brand that costs less than 20p), and I used to
smoke Marlboro Lights for 75p a carton until I
realised they were imported and therefore more
expensive. Now I smoke Bostons, which are strong but
smooth, for 50p a pack. A meal in an expensive place
should cost no more than a fiver, and junk food should
cost no more than a pound.

Just so you know.

Anyway, back on the bus I slept like a log, letting
the cold beers warm the cockles of my heart. I was
woken up later by somebody shaking me. When I opened
my eyes, there was a man dressed in a military
uniform, who was holding a gun and ordering me off the
bus.

I can honestly say I was quite scared. No, I tell the
truth, I thought my time was up. Once outside I found
we had stopped in some kind of army boot camp, and the
military were everywhere. My worst fears were
realised. I never thought it would end this way...
gunned down by the Columbian army in the middle of
some highway bootcamp. Seriously, I never saw it
coming.

I was told to turn around and place my hands on the
side of the bus, which I did, while my pockets and
clothes were checked for weapons. I was still half
asleep, and wondered if I´d feel the bullet, if I´d
see my brains hit the bus, or whether it would just
suddenly go very black.

The guy turned me around and said something to me in
Spanish. A kind old lady from the coach, who´d been
watching the whole scene from some distance, yelled
´passpuerta´at me, so I dug it out of my pocket and
showed it to the man. Why didn´t the guy just say
´passpuerta´? I didn´t inquire.

He nodded and that was that. We were hearded back
aboard, me somewhat shaky, and the bus rolled off.

The guy with the unknown animal had gone when I sat
back down in my seat. Instead there was a friendly
looking lady reading Spanish gossip mags. I checked
the time, and saw that it was coming up to 10pm - 12
hours since we left Bogota. My heart leapt at the
thought of getting off this bus and some place safe.
So I turned to the lady.

Érm... Quanto Houres Barranquillä?´ I asked her.

Ócho´she replied.

Surely that can´t be right, I thought. Louis said 12
hours. Maybe she means minutes, I thought.
I´ll make sure.

Érm... Ocho HOURES?´

´Si´ she replied.

Ladies and gentlemen, if there´s one thing you don´t
want to hear in the dead of night, after 12 hours on a
bus through Columbia, it´s that you have another 8
hours to go. My heart sank. I slept.

******************

Barranquilla is exactly what would have happened if
all the cowboys from the wild west met all the
gangsters from 1950 America and decided to have a huge
street party, all day, every day, for the rest of
time. And that´s the nice end. Head a little further
downtown, and the streets are lined with horses,
people are playing cards in bars or rolling dice in
alleys, taxis are gridlocked in the street, all
honking horns, people in market stalls are trying to
sell you all kinds of cheap plasic crap, strange,
unknown foodstuffs are being pushed through car
windows to the people inside, and every other
whispered word sounds suspiciously like cocaiana.
Louis loves the place.

Within 6 hours of meeting the man, I´d been introduced
to two English teachers inside the university grounds,
and been shown an appartment where we could stay. The
plan seemed to be coming together nicely.

Then we went for a drink, and ever since we seem to
have forgotten our exact purpose for being here. Louis
has fallen in love with the exchange rate. I honestly
think he´d marry it and father it´s children if it
were possible to copulate with a ratio. I myself have
enjoyed many a good night courtesy of some fundamental
error of the economy, but needs must, and money
doesn´t last forever. I learnt that in London, and
here you learn it quicker. God forbid you end up down
and out in a place like this. I don´t think I could
fight the street children for the contents of a bin
bag. They´d skin me alive and eat my toenails.

No. Mustn´t succumb to the dark side. Stay focussed.
Keep on the ball. Remember your purpose. Find a nice
place. Barranquilla isn´t nice. It´s Sin City with
iron spikes on. West of here is a town called
Cartegena. It looks pretty. Go. Teach English.

So recently I left Louis, and my new house, and for
the last two nights I´ve been by the coast, the real
coast, of Cartegena. And it´s fucking beautiful.

Last night I met a guy called Pete. He was from South
Africa, but as I hadn´t spoken English in over 48
hours I didn´t hold it against him. Today I´m going to
hit campus and wave my TEFL around till somebody hires
me. Can´t be that hard, right? I´ll let you know how
it goes.

Jesus, I wish I knew Spanish.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 19, 2006, 17:37:

Clueless In Columbia... (part 2) ----May The Best Cock Win----

Looking at the feathers on the stadium floor, you´d
think that the assembled crowd had gathered to watch
two teenage girls have a particularly energetic pillow
fight. But the actual sporting event taking place here
is a lot less cute, and a lot less legal.

I watch.

The white rooster does a backflip spraying a huge arc
of blood into the air before hitting the back wall,
where the Columbian mafia swear at it in Spanish. I
know they´re the Columbian mafia, because subtlety
amongst this country´s mob is a lost art. The main
guy, the head honcho, is wearing a shirt unbuttoned
almost to the waist, and is sporting a huge gold
pendant upon a huge gold chain upon his huge hairy
chest. His beautiful wife, several decades younger
than himself, sits to his left, and his henchmen, all
very scary looking fellows smoking Cubans, sit to his
right. They all swear at the rooster.

It occurs to me that there´s something inherently
wrong about calling a cockerel a son of a bitch whilst
its in the throws of its death rattle on a statium
floor, but I swear at it also. Its death has cost me
20,000 pesos. The black rooster struts around the ring
with pride, letting out a triumphant cock-a-doodle-do,
and the fat man beside me laughs and slaps my back. I
give him his money and make my way to the door. One
stadium attendant carelessly picks up and discards the
white rooster, blood still pouring from the fresh
puncture wound to its heart, while another attendant
mops up the two beady little eyes which lie glistening
on the floor.

This is the galloria - cockfighting stadium - and it?s
just about the most ruthlessly bloody, fiendishly
cruel, utterly merciless sporting event I´ve ever
witnessed. So it?s quite easy to see why the
Columbians love it so much.

I expected this sort of activity to be conducted in
seedy little bars, or back alleys full of broken glass
and chicken bones. What I didn?t expect when I asked
the taxi driver to take me there, was for him to pull
up outside the most magnificent building I?ve seen so
far in this country.

Men and women of all ages, all dressed to the nines,
were queueing up outside the stadium?s ornate gates -
anxiously awaiting an evening of bloodshed and
violence. So I decided to join them.

Once inside I saw that the chicken keepers were
preparing their beasts for battle. Iron spikes, about
two inches in length, were being taped and glued
securely to the backs of the chickens? legs.
Apparently this is fair game in cock fighting, and the
match is even suspended should one of the roosters
lose a spur. The only other time the roosters are ever
pulled apart, is if they?re both still standing after
20 minutes of head pecking, leg kicking, eye gouging
action. This rarely happens though. Generally, it?s a
fight to the death.

Five dead chickens are enough to sufficiently turn my
stomach, and so I hail a cab back to the hotel. I?ve
only been in Cartegena for three nights, and yet I
feel I?ve already soaked up more Columbian culture
than I would have done after 3 months in Barranquilla.
The two cities are a three hour bus ride and a whole
world apart. But as for living here, well... I?m not
sure the locals would ever leave me in peace.

----You?re Never Short Of An Amigo----

On my first morning in Cartegena I decided to take a
stroll along the beach, to blow away the cobwebs,
watch the ocean, maybe enjoy a few glasses of orange
juice from the straw huts scattered along the shore.
You know, relax. I soon realised this was going to be
an impossibility. Within the space of ten minutes, I
was hounded by an absolute multitude of salesmen,
demanding I spend my tourist cash on their cheap
imitation or downright useless merchandise. I was
offered, in order of appearance:

Sunglasses, T-shirts, CDs, paintings, weed & cocaine
(from the same guy, who wouldn?t leave me alone until
I finally arranged to meet him in a bar opposite the
hotel at six - a bar to which, needless to say, I had
no intention of visiting), oysters, a massage, bead
necklaces, deck chairs, inflatable boats, cuban
cigars, big brightly-coloured sombreros, fake Rolex
watches, some kind of ornamental wooden bowl and spoon
combination, sun lotion, more bead necklaces, a
chartered boat ride, and finally crab legs. This was
the only vendor who managed to get money from me. He
did this by successfully palming a crab claw, magician
style, before shaking my hand - thus leaving me
staring aghast at the severed leg of some unfortunate
crustacean while he squeezed lime juice all over it,
saying "eees good, eeees good, now you buy five". I
paid him 1,000 pesos for the claw, threw it away, then
ran to the nearest cab driver - still with twenty or
more vendors in hot persuit crying "amigo, amigo!" and
waving their various wares in the air as if I might
still change my mind.

Yes indeed. This is tourist town. People don?t see my
bright white skin in a place like this, they just see
a big bulging bag of dollars and opportunity. As soon
as I open my mouth to speak Spanglish, their little
eyes light up like Christmas trees and their minds
work overtime for an idea to fleece the living crap
out of me.

There?s a direct link to Miami from this port, and it
shows. Whatever the Americans touch seems to turn to
gold. That and overpriced tacky junk.

Learn this Spanish should you ever want to visit
Cartagena. You?ll need it, believe me. Use step one
when first approached by a vendor, step two when he
persists you buy his wares, step three when he starts
really bugging you, and step four when his sales pitch
borders on harrassment.

1. No gracias senior.
2. Por favor senior, no gracias.
3. No pietro su tiempo amigo.
4. QUE NO!

And if that doesn?t cut it, the only option left is to
hop in a cab and yell Vamos. Seriously, they?ll push
their goods through the damn window if the driver
doesn?t move fast enough.

Luckily for me the driver realised my predicament and
sped off to the old town sharpish, for a spot of food
in a the square, a few drinks, and an evening of utter
madness.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 19, 2006, 17:40:

Clueless In Columbia... (part 3) ----Happy Happy "Yes" Dust----

You guys want to know what the cocaine over here is
like, right? Oh, come on... if you visit England, you
drink beer. If you visit France, you try the
Champagne. If you visit Amsterdam, you try the local
hash. It was only a matter of time before I sampled
Columbia´s most famous export.

This is how I came about it. Anybody in Cartagena who
can speak English becomes a tour guide. It´s that
simple. They earn commission from dragging poor
misguided schmucks like myself into emerald factories,
hotels, tourist stores, restaurants, bars, travel
agents, various little shops that charter boats, and,
last but not least, brothels. All the nightclubs in
this city are brothels. I certainly didn´t find any
honest ones.

One of these tour guides, possibly the most honest and
trustworthy one in the city, is called Johnny. Within
thirty minutes of meeting him I´d already bought a
boat ride to one of the islands, changed my hotel to
an absolute sleazepit on the outskirts of town, and
came very close to purchasing a 500 pound emerald
ring. (That´s 500 GBP not 500 lb - the keyboards here
don´t have sterling symbols.)

Then Johnny took me clubbing.

I realised what kind of place it was in seconds. My
beer had cost me four quid, and some old lady was
trying to rub my nipples.

I paid the bartender for my half pint, downed it in
one, and headed for the toilets. Best to leave on an
empty bladder, I thought.

The coridoor leading down to the ladies´ bathroom was
lined with mirrors and ropey old hookers, all applying
masses of make-up in a vain attempt to make their
withered old faces look like porcelain dolls. A man
was propped against the wall of the gents, staring at
me. I gave him a nod of acknowledgement, and pushed
open the door.

He immediately followed me inside.

Thinking him a rent boy, I headed for the cubicles
praying that he hadn´t taken my friendly, English
courtesy as some kind of pick-up tactic. When I tried
to shut the door, he barged his way inside, then
locked it shut behind him. I´ve always held a certain
fondness for my anal virginity, so I must admit I was
rather scared.

He rumaged in his pockets, held a finger to his lips,
and pulled out the largest bag of cocaine I´ve ever
seen in my life. This is what he said:

"Eeees the BES maaaaan, the BES... eees towtalee
puuuure maaaaan."

My buttocks unclenched as the penny dropped. Not a
rent boy. A pusher.

"No thanks man, I´m good, seriously."

"Noooo maaaan, you try for freeeeeee... you see eees
the BES, man.... the BES"

The man had already pulled a set a keys from his
pocket and had lined up the wicked stuff along one of
the grooves. He then held it under my nose.

My willpower failed me, and curiosity took control.

I inhaled.

A mother and baby are inside my throat, and the mother
is powdering the baby´s bottom. There´s a pool
tournament in my lungs and everybody´s chalking their
cues. My eyes are squeezed shut tight and yet all I
see is white. I brace myself for the impending rush of
confidence and adhrenilin, that sense of knowing that
the world belongs to you and you can do anything you
like within it.

The feeling doesn´t come.

This is not cocaine.

I open my eyes and a big sloppy tranquil grin spreads
uncontrollably across my face. I am a zombie. But I am
happy.

"Now you buy five" says the man in the cubicle.

"Yes" I reply.



----Cartegena Comedown----

I?m on an open top boat in the middle of the Carribean
Sea during a torrential thunderstorm. I have four and
a half grams of some kind of Columbian mind control
drug tucked into my back pocket, which seems to have
the added disadvantage of turning your writing from
past to present tense. And I?m coming down a little.

After leaving the toilets I stumbled outside to find
Johnny patiently waiting for me. He took me to Santa
Domingo square where we drank overpriced cocktails at
my expense until early in the morning. It´s still
early in the morning, and now I?m on a cruise boat.
God only knows where we´re going. It´s absolutely
lashing down.

After one hour the boat pulls up at a jetti and we
climb ashore. Then the rain suddenly stops, the clouds
part and the sun shines, lighting up where we?ve
docked.

A golden, nay brilliant white beach curves off to the
left of the jetty, where crystal clear waters gently
lap at the shore. To the right, a path leads off into
a jungle, which is alive with the strange calls of a
thousand tropical birds.

Five minutes later I?m dipped in factor 30 and lying
on the beach drinking coconut milk. All the usual
strange paranoid thoughts are coming to me as an
effect of last night?s drug test, and so I talk to the
sea.

I?m a little worried about my future, sea.

Ssssshhhhhhhhhh, it says.

I think there?s going to be a terrible, terrible price
to pay for this utterly breathtaking adventure, sea.

SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh, it says.

I hope I?ll be okay, sea.

Ssshhhh, it says.

God bless, sea.

Sshh, it says.

I heed it?s advice, and sit silently, staring out
across the waves for what seems like forever. Just me,
and a desert island paradise.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 20, 2006, 08:20:

Clueless In Columbia... (part 4) ----The Case Of The Dead Cockroach----

It?s 4am and still dark outside, but the light on my
bedside table illuminates the scene perfectly. There?s
a cockroach on my floor. Its lying on its back. Its
dead.

The only things moving in my room are the smoke from
my cigarette and the enormous fan which hums noisily
from the floor. I immediately rule out the fan as a
cause of death. The only way to fall asleep in this
Godforsaken Barranquilla sweatpit is to set the
infernal contraption to maximum power; three
dangerously sharp metal blades carving the night air
at a million revolutions per minute are almost enough
to cause a mild draft in this city. Poke a finger
through the plastic grill, and you?d probably lose an
arm. The cockroach may be dead, but its body is
intact. The floor fan would have disingegrated the
unfortunate soul.

I go over the facts. There aren?t many of them. I went
to bed at midnight, and there was no cockroach on my
floor. Sometime between then and four in the morning,
the deceased roach, let?s call him Rodney, leaves his
apartment, locks his door, makes his way to the garden
gate then goes back to double check the lock. Rodney
strikes me as a cautious kind of guy.

He wanders the neighbourhood looking for food and
stumbles upon my place on 82nd street. He sneaks
inside, makes it half way across the bedroom floor,
then suddenly feels an odd cold sensation running down
his hairy left appendage. He starts to rub it, but
feels faint. His little heart goes pit-a-pat-pop, and
he rolls over, dead. Heart attack.

Natural causes. Case closed.

I extinguish my smoke, turn out my light, and try to
sleep. Poor Rodney. What are the chances, eh? A
million to one, probably. One minute he?s walking
along, minding his own business, the next it?s all
over.

A million to one.

I?m reminded of that old saying, that if you give a
billion monkeys a billion typewriters, one of them,
eventually, will type out the complete works of
Shakespeare.

A million to one.

What are the chances of just one cockroach coming into
my room an dying of natural causes? I don?t want to
think about it.

A million to one.

It?s too grotesque.

A million to one.

If one million cockroaches cross a bedroom every
night, one of them, statistically, will suffer a heart
attack and die.

A million.

A million Rodneys.

I turn on the light, and don?t sleep a wink.


----Build An Ark-----

So yeah, I´m back in Barranquilla. Don´t ask me why.
I´m sitting by the side of a turbulent river which,
five minutes ago, was a road.

There?s only two types of weather condition in this
town, baking hot and torrential rain. When it?s baking
hot, the best thing to do is find a nice air
conditioned bar and drink until the sun goes down,
because there?s no way you can do anything else.
There?s so little shade in this city it feels like the
sun is constantly directly over your head, and so much
pollution that passing through a cloud of car exhaust
almost sends you falling, choking, to your knees. So
find a bar and drink till it?s dark. You just can?t
get around town when it?s hot.

The other weather condition is torrential rain. As
soon as you feel the first couple of splashes of the
stuff, the best thing to do is find a nice air
conditioned bar and sit quietly drinking until it gets
dark. You?ll notice that I didn?t say "until the rain
stops". That?s because even when you can walk outside
without getting drenched in two seconds by droplets
the size of golf balls, every street in the city
becomes the Gangees. And it takes all day for the
water to wash out to sea. You just can?t get around
when it?s raining.

Unfortunately for me, on this occasion, I?d failed to
get the requisite materials to sit out a Barranquilla
thunderstorm (a bar) and therefore sat by the side of
the road under the tiniest shop canopy, grumbling and
smoking and dripping.


"I gotta tell ya, my friend, that?s a fucken funny
T-shoit to be wearin."

This guy?s sitting beside me who, to all intents and
purposes, looks Columbian. Yet he?s speaking like a
Goodfella. I look at my shirt. It?s black and has
"sniff glue" written across it in white.

"Thanks." I say to him. He looks confused.

"Hey are you English? I thought youse was a Yankee."

"Nope, English through and through. You sound like
you?re from the Bronx."

"Ah, I lived ova dere for 28 yoirs. I gotta wife and
fucken kids ova dere, but they won?t let me back in. I
got inta som trouble, ya know?"

I can only imagine.

"Take a looka dis guy ere wid is fuckn bricks and wood
n shit tryna get enough fuckn pesos for a bite a eat
or sumptin."

There?s a guy in the road building a bridge from
breeze blocks and planks of rotten wood. He?s waded
into the river barefooted with his pants rolled up to
his crotch, and is testing his creation for
sturdiness. It would be almost funny if it didn?t
highlight just how poor these people really are, and
yet I know fine well I?m going to be paying the man to
cross. It?s the only way off the block-island
combination.

"Yeah, my daughter comes ova here she brings a fucken
video camera, takes it back ome to da states. Says to
her friends - hey, look at the crazy ass place where
my pop?s stayin."

The man in the street tries his bridge, which
collapses under his feet. He starts again.

"Hey, you drive?" Jo Pechi asks me. I shake my head.

"Dats a good fuckin thing. You leave ya fuckin car
parked round ere it?ll get washed down to the fucken
sea. That?s where this street goes, all the way down
to the fucken sea."

I know where this street leads, and if any car was to
float into those neighbourhoods the locals would strip
it for parts within seconds. I don?t argue with him
though. Even as he speaks a bicycle goes floating by,
closely followed by a dead dog. At least I hope it?s
dead. It?s in for a big shock if it only decided to
take a nap.

The guy building the bridge is unaffected by the
debris, and finally gets his business up and running.
He stands on he pavement, proud, and becons Al Pachino
and I to cross.

"Not for me, my friend, I own da shop jus? dere." Says
my new friend, and he gets up and goes, bidding me a
quick adios.

I pay the toll booth guy 200 pesos, and make my way
across. At the other side I think twice, return to the
man, and pay him 5,000 pesos instead. He deserves it,
for the story alone.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 20, 2006, 08:25:

Clueless In Columbia... (part 5) ----The Zero Hour----

I look at my watch. Twelve minutes to go. I couldn?t
have picked a better spot to watch my world collapse.

I decided to get the hell out of Barranquilla for a
while this morning, and took a bus to Santa Marta, a
small coastal town barely two hours away. It?s a lot
like Eastbourne, but with twice as many old people and
about half the charm. And it?s also unbearably hot.
Too hot to be outdoors.

I immediately headed for an Internet cafe. I love
Internet Cafes over here. They?re little air
conditioned islands of bliss amidst this relentless
sea of humidity and sweat. It isn?t even twelve yet,
which means the sun hasn?t even reached the zenith of
its ascent. Thank the lord for this Internet cafe.

Nicky is online when I sign into my MSN account, and
so I say hello. We chat for a while, and she sounds
upset. She sounds apathetic, fed up, depressed. She
tells me that she can?t see it working out between us,
with me in Columbia and her in London. She says she?s
sorry. I say I?m sorry. She says she wishes things
could have been different. I say I?m sorry. She says
she has to go. I say I?m sorry.

I?d intended to spend the morning writing emails, but
I lost my motivation somewhat. So I left the cafe in a
daze, partly because of what had transpired, and
partly because of the sudden rush of hot air when I
opened the door.

Lot?s of people have questioned how I see my future
with Nicky. Whether it?ll be long distance, whether
I?ll come back, whether she?ll come with me, or
whether we?ll both split up. Lots of people are also
of the opinion that it can?t really be love if you
leave your girlfriend and move to another continent.
That you can?t really care about them. That much. Can
you?

What these same people fail to realise is that it?s
possible to positively adore somebody, worship them,
want to spend the rest of your life with them, and
still be unhappy around them because of the place
you?re in. You?re wishing for the best of both worlds
ideally, a place where you can be happy, and someone
you love to be equally happy there alongside you.

Of course, upon leaving England, you quickly realise
that this might be too much to ask for - that it might
not work out that way. But that doesn?t stop it
hurting any less when the worst eventually happens.

I felt a little fragile when I hit the main road that
runs along the coast. And for no other reason than
that it had pulled up alongside me, I decided to hop
on a bus.

I sat in silence while the bus left the city behind,
direction unknown, and climbed the rocky winding road
up into the hills. For not the first time since I
arrived in Columbia, I wondered whether I?d made the
right decision.

The bus swung corners, climbed slopes, swung corners,
climbed slopes, and swung a few more dangerous corners
before finally it emmerged at the other side of the
mountains and began its descent. I looked out of the
window.

Before me lay a bay, many miles in circumference and
surrounded by green mountains, with what looked like a
small fishing village sheltered upon the shore. Dozens
of small boats were harboured along a long wooden
pier, and even from this distance I could smell the
charcoal fires and the fresh saltwater fish cooking
upon them.

That?s the most peculiar thing about this country. Hop
on a bus, and you really don?t know what kind of
natural treasures you?ll find. You just have to go
exploring.

Five minutes to go. I push the remains of my shrimp
cocktail away from me and sip my beer. This is Taganga
Bay, and it just doesn?t get any better. But still I
think about Nicky. It?s impossible not to. We didn?t
exactlysplit up over MSN, but it was certainly the
beginning of the end. I wonder what she?d make of this
country, of this paticular bay where I?ve chosen to
sit and watch the sun set and my world collapse. Would
she fall in love with it as much as I have? Would she
want to stay here with me? We?ll never know.

Three minutes.

Two little girls run past me dressed as witches. It?s
Halloween. I remember how Nicky and I once talked
about having kids and the names we would give them.
I?d have liked to have had kids with Nicky one day.
Not in London, but somewhere far away, a nice place to
raise a family. A tear rolls down my cheek.

Two minutes.

The bay is lit red by the setting sun, and it?s
beautiful. Not too far away, two girls in their late
teens or early twenties are playing with their younger
sister in the sea. They have an inflatable dolphin,
and are holding it under the waves then letting it go,
causing it to jump in the air - much to their sister?s
delight. Their mother calls to them from her shaded
hammock between two palm trees, and the the two
sisters pick up the dolphin and the child and make
their way to the shore. Their bodies are wet, and
their film buttocks gleam in the evening sun. Yes
indeed. There are plenty more inflatable fish in the
sea being passed back and forth by beautiful Columbian
twins, but there?s only one Nicky Owen. My God I miss
her.

One minute.

I watch the second hand of my clock as it ticks its
way slowly around. It?s almost 7pm, October 31st,
2005. Back home in England it?s less than one minute
to midnight. Less than one minute to November 1st.

My clock hits seven. Somewhere in England several
Direct Debits whir into action and attempt to take
close to 700 pounds from a bank account with
insufficient funds. My bank account to be precise. I
can almost hear the system buckle, and the small
electronic "beep" that heralds a major pain in the ass
for the bankers who countersigned my loan
applications. My world collapses.

I have no bank account.
I have no job.
I have very few career prospects.
I have a criminal record for fraud.
I have destroyed everything.
I have nothing.

I smile a weary smile, and listen to the pieces of my
life come crashing down. I couldn?t care less. My
thoughts are still with Nicky, and without her
everything else is just a meaningless, trivial
distraction. I really thought we were going to make
it. Now it seems we never will.

I raise my glass in the air and toast the bay. "I love
you Nicky," I whisper, "Now and always."

From somewhere behind the mountains, God lets out an
ominous roll of thunder like nothing ever heard in
England. If English thunder was a dog, it would be a
Yorkshire Terrier. This sounds like a rabid Doberman
on steroids who?s just found a kitten peeing in its
food bowl.

God?s angry. There?s no doubt about it. e?s letting me
know that, yes, there will be a terrible price to pay
for this one.

I drain my glass and, just like magic, the bartender
appears. "Otro?" he asks me.

"Si." I reply with a smile.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 20, 2006, 08:29:

Clueless In Columbia... (part 6) ----Return To Dead Dog City----

"How do you mean I?ve lost the plot? What?s that
supposed to mean? How have I lost the fucking plot?"
screams Louis as he pushes me down the street, away
from the nightclub, waving a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka
in the air and inadvertantly answering his own
questions. I?m back in Barranquilla once again, and
somebody?s cranked the heat up an extra couple of
degrees. It?s making everybody asolutely crazy.

This morning I was playing hopscotch down the streets
of Barranquilla - jumping cracked pavements,
sidestepping bin bags overflowing with maggot-ridden
food, and jumping up foot high curbstones - when I
noticed that all the dogs were dead. They?re always
there, the dogs, just lying on the street in the sun
waiting for it to get dark. But today they all had
flies on them.

I gave one of them a gentle kick. Only the flies
moved.

Ye Gods, what a place. I imagine the beaches of
Barranquilla to be just one long pile of dead dogs and
broken bicycles that have been washed out to sea.
Perhaps, occassionally, one of the dogs, only comatose
from the intense heat, will awake and climb out from
under its brothers before trotting back into town to
stink up the place a little more. I only came back
here to pick up my stuff and get going, to try and
find a nice place to settle down and teach English.
Just get out of Barranquilla and never look back.
That?s where the argument with Louis started.

Two bouncers step away from the door of the nightclub
and stand either side of louis, who still has his
bottle raised with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Louis, look, for fuck?s sake, you?ve got two
Columbian bouncers either side of you just waiting for
you to get violent. Put the fucking bottle down, eh?"

"You think I give a fuck about these fuckers?"

He?d give a fuck if either of them spoke a word of
English, that?s for sure. He?d give a fuck, and then
he?d give them all his money to stop them sticking lit
cigarettes out on his balls. Fortunately for Louis,
these guys aren?t bilingual.

I sigh and run my hand over my face. Every time. Every
bloody time. I look at Louis.

"What do you want?"

Louis?s eyes come back into focus briefly, like he?s
just woken up from a bout of sleepwalking. He puts the
bottle on the floor.

"Look, just give me one more night, one more night to
prove to you that you can have a great time in
Barranquilla."

"I?ve had a great time here, loads of great times... I
just really want to get going and see what Venezuela
is like."

Louis picks up the bottle.

"Fucking hell Peter, I?m not asking you to spend your
fucking life here, just come out with us tomorrow
night and I?ll show you a great time."

He has that mad look in his eyes again. I give in.

"Alright." I say.


----I Fought The Law----

The pick-up truck bounces along the uneven road with
Pepe and I in the back. Don?t ask me who he is, I
barely know the guy. Five minutes ago we were at a
party, and now it seems we?re off to another one,
taking the White Trash Express to get there.

Another pick-up truck pulls parrallel with us. Both
cars speed down the road, side-by-side, and Pepe makes
a swigging motion with his hand to the passengers in
the other vehicle. They lean outside the moving truck
and pass him their bottle of white rum.

I?m drunk as hell, and this is absolutely nuts.

Pepe laughs as the other vehicle speeds off and away
from us, takes a swig of rum, and passes the bottle to
me. I drink.

Several things happen at the same time. The truck
pulls into a petrol station and over a speed bump,
causing the bottle of rum to come loose from my lips
and my ass to leave the pile of tyres serving as my
seat.

I sit up and laugh, wiping my shirt and my mouth, and
look around me. I stop laughing.

No less than ten Columbian Military Policemen are
pointing their guns at our vehicle. I put my hands in
the air, and notice that I?m still holding the rum.
Not that it really matters. I?m covered in the rotten
stuff. I?m couldn?t possibly be more busted than this.

I curse Louis, but he?s not around to hear it. He went
to the casino as soon as the first party ended.

The officials motion for us to get out of the vehicle.
We do so immediately.

They take the bottle of rum from me and lay it on the
floor. They ask for our identification papers. My
heart stops beating. I knew there was something I?d
forgotten.

With gritted teeth and a sense of dread, I pull the
torn, crumpled, soaked then sun-dried photocopy from
my pocket. Little pieces of it blow away in the light
breeze. I hand it to the Military.

There?s a problem, I know that much, but my Spanish
isn?t good enough to even guess at what?s being said
between Pepe and the ten Policemen. It?s pretty
obvious that they?re not happy with my photocopy
though. I need to think fast.

Just as I?m about to ask Pepe to tell them that my
real passport is a mere block away from where we are,
the Columbian Policeman holding my passport shrugs,
gives one final glance at my papers, and hands them
back to me. They leave. All ten of them. The last one
turns back, picks up the rum, and hands it back to
Pepe. I?m trying to comprehend what?s just happened.
Back home in England, they?d have locked us all up and
melted the keys. Jesus, even the driver?s stinking
drunk, and they haven?t even breathalysed him. I kiss
my St Christopher, and climb back in the truck.

Pepe swigs the rum and laughs. He passes it to me. I
swig, and laugh. I laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and
laugh. We drive away from the station, and from the
policemen, and I take another swig of rum. It tastes
of freedom. It tastes of getting away with murder. It
tastes incredible.

"Man," says Pepe, taking the rum from me, "you NEVER
have to worry about those fuckers."

He?s right of course. But never-the-less, I feel I?ve
pushed my luck a little too far in this country.
Broken too many rules. Tomorrow I break for the
border. For Venezuela.

God only knows what´ll happen to me there.

Pete Bowdon says on Jan 20, 2006, 08:43:

Clueless In Columbia... (part 7) ----The Million Dollar Question----

When I woke up this morning, the question I`d been avoiding for the last 40 days was sitting on the edge of my bed. When it noticed that I was awake, it immediately set upon me, hammering and screaming against the side of my already aching head. I jammed my fingers in my ears and started singing "la la la la la" to drown out the noise... but the question persisted, even louder than before.

I got out of bed. The question rose with me.
I showered. The question showered with me.

I packed my bags while the question danced around the room begging for an answer that I didn´t have. I ignored it.

Dragging my bags into the hallway and fumbling for my keys, it occured to me that I`d forgotten to do something very important before checking out of this Barranquilla nightmare. The question had distracted me though, and I couldn`t quite place exactly what it was.

I threw my baggage down the spiral stairway in a crazy rush to get out of Barranquilla, and it wasn`t until I`d reached the ground floor that my memory kicked in. I climbed back up the stairs cursing, went into my bedroom, opened my set of drawers, and took out the small paper parcel concealed inside. I then entered the bathroom, and proceeded to flush $300 worth of cocaine down the toilet. I`m not ashamed to admit that I cried a little, but I consoled myself with the knowledge that it was so impure it could easily pass for rat poison.

I fled the building, and galloped down the spiral stairway. The question was sitting patiently by my bags. I grabbed them, ignored it, and hailed a cab.

-----

The person in front of me has his chair so far back he might as well have his head in my lap. I can´t change seats though. The question has taken the seat beside me, and is snoring quietly. I have no desire to wake it.

We pass quickly through Santa Marta and it isn`t long before we reach Maicao, the last city before the ColumbianVenezuelan border. It`s practically desert, but for a few houses and cafes scatted around the station. I`d been instructed on what to do here. Don`t talk to the locals. Don`t leave the bus terminal. Keep your cash out o