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joke of the day

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband.

By elmodefoque on Jan 5, 2007, 06:47 in Friendly Talkzone.

podborski says on Jan 5, 2007, 07:56:

jejeje now let's see what the girls come up with...

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arthur brode (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 5, 2007, 19:20:

jaja que chistoso!!

http://www.calirentals.net/

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elmodefoque says on Jan 9, 2007, 07:03:

guts/balls
We've all heard guts/balls

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them?

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling
of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Blondie says on Jan 9, 2007, 18:51:

Dayum!!!!
Dayum!!!!

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big kugz says on Jan 9, 2007, 20:01:

Jaimito had crush on his teacher. One day he approched her and said, "Teacher, I like you!" His teacher replied, "Jaimito, I don't like children I'm sorry". Jaimito then responded, "that's okay, we'll use a condom!"

Sounds better in Spanish.. and like in the primaria.

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goin_south says on Jan 9, 2007, 22:49:

Elmo, before you get in trouble... Let me remind you about Lorena Bobbitt, who had the GUTS to cut off his (Well, it might as well have been his BALLS).

Es el año, 2007: El año del gringo

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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Blondie says on Jan 9, 2007, 23:23:

yeah.. but he got that sewed back on... didnt you ever see him in those porno's? funniest thing, he you could totally see the scar.. and he couldnt get it hard at all either.. so I'd be careful wtih those kinds of statements!

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southern151 says on Jan 9, 2007, 23:45:

Subject: One way of dealing with the IRS

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite
my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands."Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

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oldbongo says on Jan 10, 2007, 20:49:

well,... maybe nobody else appreciated it ,
but oldbongo loves this joke ....
being a poker playing, audit survivor.
you,ve made his day...southernman.
grassy ass

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southern151 says on Jan 10, 2007, 20:52:

Any time partna' Any time!

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big kugz says on Jan 10, 2007, 21:12:

I heard the same joke but it was a little old lady with the bank president's testicles in her hand instead of the guy pissing on the auditor's desk.

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kalder says on Jan 11, 2007, 04:40:

:-) That was really funny. I actually did laugh out loud (rather than just smile faintly).

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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