"I would marry you but you have to promise to not take me away from Medellin"

jonas says on Aug 16, 2008, 18:52:

Do you think if you were to take her to live somewhere else, away from her family, friends and culture, she would be happier?

Mi alma se la dejo al diablo

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Lipper says on Aug 16, 2008, 19:09:

Don't know. Maybe yes, maybe no.

I think the question is less personal and more about the "stereotype" that Colombiana's only want to be "saved" by a rich Gringo and taken to "the promise land".

Me, being a stereotypical Gringo (define as you want), I was surprised by the answer. I was expecting, "Oh yes, when can we move to America"....

My knight in shining armor fantasy was completely trashed by her answer but also I was happy to hear her answer this way. At least the answer makes me think I have a fighting chance at real affection and eventual love instead of just a hot wife on my arm for 2 years until her residency in the US doesn't require her to be with me.... (What are the rules again?).

Or maybe she is just really slick and playing me and after the honeymoon, she will say, "When are we moving to America?"

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 16, 2008, 20:05:

nope, bet you a life savings she will never move...Take her at face value...2 years residency.. My wife and I files after 60 days fo being married. no problem.. They will give you a K-3/I-130 sooner, its just the first two years are temporary, meaning if she ditches you, her butt will be sent back to Medellin....After 2 years. She will be visiting Elmo's neighborhood in NYC, if she leaves you

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miamimike says on Aug 16, 2008, 21:55:

She will be visiting Elmo's neighborhood in NYC, if she leaves you
==================================================================

No, she will be visiting my Neighborhood here in Miami. Sooner or later(usually sooner) they (col divorcees) all wind up here somewhere in Miami,,,

Avatar Legend: Bush "If any of you Reporters are wondering, it was a Size 10"

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 16, 2008, 22:04:

agreed MM..The weather is better and a closer flight home

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Iain says on Aug 17, 2008, 01:13:

miamimike, what do they (col divorcees) do when they end up in Miami? I guess there is a big kind of networkd where they can get into menial jobs etc...?

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Saltador says on Aug 17, 2008, 07:00:

Good luck to the original poster in this relationship. I would look at her response as a good sign, but in no way does it confirm, in any way, shape, or form, that her intentions are sincere. There are many ways to skin a cat (or gringo.)
Keep your eyes wide open and look at the whole picture, don't hang your hopes on any one particular sign.

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tompower says on Aug 17, 2008, 08:02:

i hate to point out the obvious,.... why would you marry her if it wasnt to get her a visa to go to US? if she doesn't want to go you dont have to marry her. Try this ;

" I'd only ask you to marry me if you really wanted to live in the US."

Boy likes girl, girl talks crap, boy teaches girl lesson.
Remember, we're all inthis together.
Tom Power

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dwmte7 says on Aug 17, 2008, 09:00:

be nice to the girl...she's setting a new precident.

dwmte

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deathnova says on Aug 17, 2008, 09:36:

Mine refused to leave too. That changed after about a year.

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Lisa Zee says on Aug 17, 2008, 09:57:

I think it is better she told you before getting married and not leaving you later. Goo for her, she should stay in Medellin, you make the move, not her.

Feliz Navidad!

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adrimm (☼Travelguide writer) says on Aug 17, 2008, 10:07:

gringoloid (Trustee board) says on Aug 17, 2008, 12:09:

why do you guys get married?

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mcheasley says on Aug 17, 2008, 12:20:

Lipper, Not every woman in Medellin wants to move to the states... My wife has no desire to move away from Colombia, which suits me just fine..... (the Promise Land) is not only the U.S..... Good Luck!!!

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dwmte7 says on Aug 17, 2008, 12:31:

ggloid.............ya know.....i've asked myself that seven times. by now, i think i own a couple of lawyers. listen up breatheren...if you're single, stay that way.

dwmte

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Robert Jorge says on Aug 17, 2008, 13:04:

Lipper, consider yourself lucky. In my opinion, it is a very good sign that the girl does NOT have "moving to the promised land" as an agenda.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

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miamimike says on Aug 17, 2008, 13:23:

Robert Jorge--I couldn't agree with you more! This ought to be a litmus screenout Pre-Marriage test! If the only place they want to live is here in the Good Old US of A in all probability, she's a Green Card Hound!


Joel--Luza and Lain--They End up here in Miami(area) for many reasons some of which include: 1)They have relatives/friends living here so they have a temp place to live. 2)Langauge--they can find a Nanny, baby-siiter or elder care sitter with a Spanish Family live in type job, waitressing in a spanish langauge only restaurant/business type place ect. 3) There are many Cubans/Puerto Rican Guys here eager to marry for Papers for $$$ + sex 4) True its close to Home Airline wise but many cannot take advantage of it as many do NOT have Valid Papers, so if they get on a plane homeward bound for Col they cannot re-enter the USA, so they fade into the Underground economy. 1000s of Latinas in that situation here in Miami. 5) In the case of the Cuban-PR Guys, many of these guys play the Latinas like a Violin for papers, they make a lot of Promises to marry the Women but in many cases they(guys) are there for a good time adventure and then they move on when the Woman starts making serious Marriage demands. . Cavet Emptor. If the Girls don't show these Guys Lots of $$$ upfront for Marriage and Papers, its Hasta La Vista after a Good time in short order. If you doubt this, just take a look at some our Spanish Only Publications like the Clarin Weekly Paper(free). They have a personal Column "Woman wants to meet Man" type and in some cases, the Women specify only Cubans as they know if they hook up with a Cubano they Get their Residency faster due to the Preferential Immigration status Cubans receive in the USA. In works in reverse for Cuban Women also as many Latinos seek them out for the same reason. They caught one Cuban Family a few months back in Miami and between 4 family members, they had like 39 Fake "For papers Only" Marriges in the course of 2 years. The Aunt, who was the Ringleader, had 9 Marriages alone to foreign guys in Miami. She was greedy! LOL

Avatar Legend: Bush "If any of you Reporters are wondering, it was a Size 10"

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dwmte7 says on Aug 17, 2008, 14:41:

these/those cubans have 'screwin the system' down pat. wasn't it you, miami, or was it the pirate who said the other day the story about rippin off the welfare/medicare/medicaid system?

dwmte

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gringoloid (Trustee board) says on Aug 17, 2008, 17:04:

you know doug.........you're old enough to know about the times when women were just caregivers and stayed home.

but for the last 30 years you have women taking on the work role and lots of other roles and this combination along with the husbands traditional needs and his work role.........and there is bound to be conflict.

marriage just doesn't work for most people...........in california, 67% divorce rate and 85% among young peoples marriages.

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LPwill says on Aug 17, 2008, 17:37:

I would think Colombian women with strong Catholic beliefs would not go along with living together.

What are the Colombian laws about living with someone and then becoming, what is it called?, common law wife, or something?

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papiChulo says on Aug 17, 2008, 17:56:

LPwill... most colombians are not praticing catholics and colombia calls common law, Union Libre but thats all I know about it.

avoid the unhappy and the unlucky

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dwmte7 says on Aug 17, 2008, 18:23:

i don't know if i agree with that papi.....all the colombians i know are reasonably practicing catholics. the kinda sorta type. i'm not being critical, but when we say 'practicing' what exactly do we mean. saying the rosary, going to mass/confession/tithing, etc. it's a little different for each person. i know they always 'sign' themselves when they find themselves in a world of hurt. againk, i'm not poking fun. in my family, they're in mass near every day. especially grandma. and the tias, the same. we go weekly, but if we were back home, it'ld be a lot more...simply because we have warmer, closer relations with our priest there. here, it's alien...or at least to me. i have a priest/friend in colombia i can even drink with. here, i think the priest hood is a bit of a secret society.

as far as living together. they do it a lot more now than, say, just 20 30 years ago. you get a lot of flack from the family for a while. it all depends on how that "living" goes down.

dwmte

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miamimike says on Aug 17, 2008, 20:15:

dwmte7--that was my post recently about the Massive Medicare Scam here in Miami. Out of 37, 33 were Cubans and after they gamed the system for Millions, they hightailed it back to Cuba. And of course we have no extradition agreement so they cannot be returned to the US to stand trial.

Where I go to Mass in Miami they have many Latins, quite a few Colombians but NOT many are strict Catholics. You may see them here on a day like Col's Indepence Day but then you don't see them another 3-4 months. They are very Sporadic church goers, at least in this Parish and its one of the largest, being the Arch-diocese center.

Avatar Legend: Bush "If any of you Reporters are wondering, it was a Size 10"

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 17, 2008, 21:05:

in the US we have the seperation of church and state.. In colombia, it is the seperation of church and the state of happiness. I find they take a very pragmatic approach to religion,,but hell, don't we all....

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Lipper says on Aug 17, 2008, 21:09:

meaning what Joel?

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 17, 2008, 21:43:

meaning that a fair amount of colombians will pray like crazy, and participate in all of the sacraments, all while going out, imbibing in alot of worldly carnal indulgences. I find it interesting that just about all of Colombian holidays, and there are alot, follow the church calendar. Rather than dancing in the Parish hall, they tend to be cutting the rug at the local cantina.

I find it interesting because, in our Catholic household, guilt ruled the world... In Colombian Households, it seems like there is a fracture between church life, and guilt ridden angst American Catholics tend to have.

Don't get me wrong, I am not judging, and it is something I love about my wife..She does well at keeping each seperate, with life being quite interesting and beautiful, minus the neurotic Catholic guilt .

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Philly says on Aug 18, 2008, 02:34:

I find a lot of people here in Colombia calling their relationships marriage(and living together) but never got married in a church.

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panthdave says on Aug 18, 2008, 03:30:

"Union Libre" Philly Good statement noticed the same.....

panthdave Miami

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elmodefoque says on Aug 18, 2008, 05:33:

"i don't want to leave medellin"
that thar is the classic paisa line.
if you beleive that then lets talk about my brigde that connects brooklyn with manhattan, is up for sale.
another classic line
"colombianos are all dogs y mujeriegos don't care to date them, i prefer gringos"

listen over half the population of medellin is in queens, nj, miami, israel, vietnam, timbatu, you name it, they are there and the other half are wating for a gringo to get them the fok outta there, same goes for the rest of colombia, except barranquilla.
when a barranquillera tells you she's not leaving curramba, you could take that to that bank!

thank you!

I'll get there, when I get there!

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capt_j says on Aug 18, 2008, 05:47:

I have an amiga that asked me if I could move there. I told her no because I couldn't work there.

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elmodefoque says on Aug 18, 2008, 05:50:

come and live in colombia
that's another classic one

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Aug 18, 2008, 05:54:

that same broad that tell you, she don';t want to leave medellin
i less than 2 years, she's have la maldita vieja, el maldito viejo, el hermano, la hermana, los tios, las tias, el primo, las primas, la abuela, e abuelo, el cunao, la cuna, la amiga, el amigo, el perro, la perra.......................................IN QUEENS

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Lowell says on Aug 18, 2008, 11:02:

Almost 6 years with wife and she has no desire to live in the States. Perhaps another place in Colombia. Cost wise, a vacation would be much more expensive than trips to other Countries including visa at Bogota x2 and travel there, Plus we need to see much of Colombia before traveling out of country!

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 18, 2008, 11:56:

Moving to Colombia? There are few translations between professional jobs in the US and in Colombia..... I would love to retire in Colombia, but the wages and job prospects suck to move there right now...My wife has been an un (der) employed professional, in Colombia, for years....As she explores the US education system, to take some classes, to update education and professional credentials, she's already been recruited. It's made her head swim..."Oh, you're bilingual and work in healthcare? Let's visit!!!"

Coming here, may not be the promised land, but life is much easier. In addition, the opportunities, for her kids, has grown exponentially....

It just comes down to priorities... I don't have a problem with a Colombiana wanting to meet a gringo to better her life, AS LONG AS SHE IS SINCERE AND ACTUALLY LOVES THE GUY AND WANTS TO BUILD SOMETHING TOGETHER....

What I have a hard time with is Colombianas and gringos that do this two step of using each other for papers and sex...How many times have we all heard on here; some guy who says, "I really, really, love my novia!!, I want to marry her, CAN I TRUST HER?? IS SHE USING ME??? A guy by the name of Pepe answered the phone when I called and she said it was her cousin, can I trust her?? Is it really her cousin?? I can't stand to be without her!!!"If you can't trust her why ya falling in lover with her?

Boys and girls- learn spanish, learn english, have a conversation. If she says something like, "I am not going to move from Medellin" trust that is what she means. Be upfront about what that means to you, and move on, if you don't like it...or not, but consider yourself being served notice of her intentions.

Bottom line, the leopardess isn't going to change her spots for your lilly white butt..

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panthdave says on Aug 19, 2008, 12:14:

Thank you..Joel actually getting tired of the Gringo-Colombiana for Papers stories and comments...Getting very old....

panthdave Miami

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 19, 2008, 12:38:

Panthdave- I agree..... To hear some people, Colombianas are only in this game of life for papers and nothing else...and Gringos are some victims of her overt sexuality... Fact of the matter If a 40 year old goes trolling for a 20 something and expects life long commitment, ain't happening....

A 20 y/o Colombiana wants the same thing a 20 y/o old Americana, conversely, the same can be said for 40 something women...you know what you are buying on the test drive, Don't complain when it turns out to be a lemon when you get 'er home.....

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dwmte7 says on Aug 19, 2008, 15:06:

joel.....i'd guess that a high percent of the lemonaid is gringo...not just some undereducated, underaged colombian miss who is made out to look like a coniving, ruthless, hussy. 'let's hear it for the girls.'

if the age disparities we see in the marriage realm where seen here in the u.s., there'ld be a whole lot more folks signing up as child mosesters.

dwmte

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Joel y Luza says on Aug 19, 2008, 21:57:

dwmte7 -- I agree on both points..Perception and reality are two VERY different things...I am thinking Jimmy Buffet got it right, "Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude"

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papiChulo says on Aug 19, 2008, 22:44:

dwmte... I'd say going once a week and roseary and that stuff is praticing enuff for me. I can see we hang in a different crowd... I just know other malparidos like me.

passportcolombia... naw I don't want to break morphus' bubble... he's found his paradise and I found mine...
passportcolombia says on Aug 17, 2008, 20:18: flag

Papi..........so your saying most Colombian girls are not virgins as Morphus claims?

avoid the unhappy and the unlucky

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dwmte7 says on Aug 20, 2008, 04:52:

you tell em, morph

papi....actually, like you, a little bit is a lot for me.....my church is in my heart, the local residence of my creator, where i can neither hide nor make excuses. the family on the other hand, are avid attendees and do the rosary daily...if not more. while we're driving in the car, my wife will sometimes inlist me into reciting the rosary...our daughter has developed an interesting talent...she can do the rosary while listening to music, working on the computer or reading...thus satisfying the mrs.

joel....about buffet. that guy is a business machine. he has his musical hands in everything.

my son bought me a shirt at disney world at his (buffets) store....$75.00 for a shirt? a fuckin shirt. sure, it's nice, but so are them old wrinkled bills.

dwmte

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JumboBond007 says on Aug 20, 2008, 06:40:

SIMPLE LOGIC LESSON:

1ST ABOUT YOU:

1. Are you planning to live in Colombia or stay in USA?
2. If you are planning to live in Colombia, what will you do there? Are you planning to retire, or doing business in Colombia, or finding work there?

ABOUT YOU AND HER:

If you are planning to stay in USA mainly because you have to earn living, then find a girl who is willing to move and live with you. FORGET THIS MEDELLIN GIRL.

You should have brought up the important question before getting to know her. You should have asked her how would she feel leaving her family and friends to move and live with you. This is one of the most important question !!!

Deaf But Happy :)

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nine inch nails says on Aug 20, 2008, 11:47:

Is like if I enjoyed myself in MDE/CO more than US (true) and wanted to stay then why the phuck would anyone else want to leave if they also enjoy it better if they didn't have to??

Now maybe in 6 months not to like to live so much there or in any one place and that could be an issue.

The Hedge funds have all gone wild on us!

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Lipper says on Nov 27, 2008, 14:16:

She dumped me! Guess, I should have promised to take her sorry ass out of the Country! LOL

Onto the next!

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Darloup (☼Travelguide writer) says on Nov 27, 2008, 14:22:

Darloup (☼Travelguide writer) says on Nov 27, 2008, 14:39:

robi666 (Trustee board) says on Nov 27, 2008, 15:10:

Another paisa claiming that she does not want to go to the US... I do not drink it... a costena maybe, not a cachaca.
Maybe she wants to move to Barranquilla or Santa Marta.

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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Lipper says on Nov 27, 2008, 16:23:

Oh no. She was different from the rest of the girls. She told me so and promised with a cross my heart and pinky shake! LOL

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Lon7 says on Nov 27, 2008, 18:09:

The problem with countries who have suffered and experienced so much poverty, criminal elements, rebels, governmental corruption, neighborhood militias, and all the struggles with living in a 3'rd world country (Whatever that means)................their citizens, men and women, have learned in order to survive, they must lie. It will take a few generations to breed it out of them.

God bless Americans and Europeans who have been whipped into trusting sissy's by the feminist movement producing the food these Colombiana's feed on. They have to eat too.

You had a 50/50 chance dude. Don't sweat it. There are many more where she came from! Plan another trip.

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kalder says on Nov 28, 2008, 00:35:

"It does'nt make sense to get married in a church if the woman is'nt a virgin. A lot of these non-virgin women even wear white dresses to their weddings. They are suppose to wear cream colored dresses if they are non-virgins."

Dammit! My wife wore cream at our wedding.

There'll be some stern questions asked in Kalder Towers tonight...

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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elmodefoque says on Nov 28, 2008, 09:28:

"I would marry you but you have to promise to not take me away from Medellin"
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ

a cachaca saying she prefers to stay in medellin than to gotto USA is total BS, big time.
even before those words came outta her mouth, her suitcase was packed so were her mother's (la vieja) el maldito viejo, la hermana, el hermano, el tio, la tia, la abuela, el abuelo, la prima, el primo etc.
take a walk down northern blv in queens and see how many cachacas refuesed to leave medellin. This chit infested with colombianitas
Now with barranquilleras is a different ball game, most will tell you to take kansas and shove it

5 more days and is back home for good

thank you

I'll get there, when I get there!

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lpdiver says on Nov 28, 2008, 10:27:

Man I must have won the love lotto. I gotta paisa that will follow me where ever I want to go. She is very vocal about me being loco for wanting to move to Colombia...PERO she will follow me gladly and support me in any endevor I choose.

ts

"cook some rice!"

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Darloup (☼Travelguide writer) says on Nov 29, 2008, 08:26:

lpdiver says on Nov 29, 2008, 10:58:

The title sounds like an old Uncle Remus story...no?

ts

"cook some rice!"

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robi666 (Trustee board) says on Nov 29, 2008, 11:55:

"I happen to agree with this comment, but HOW do you explain it?"
How would you be happy living in a cold rainy place, surrounded by dangerous mountains, bad looking andeans, gente torcidas, burundanga, etc...?

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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casa_de_norte says on Nov 29, 2008, 12:06:

Lipper says on Nov 27, 2008, 14:16: flag

She dumped me! Guess, I should have promised to take her sorry ass out of the Country! LOL

Onto the next

================================================
Dude.. sorry to hear it! Damn! Its a deep well., south of the border...Goes to show you, Dear John letters are universal, perhaps a primal psychological imprint burned into the frontal cortex of young hot women everywhere.. I say, go for the little older, homely chicks.. You will be a god in every language, and the Green card, if you so choose a foreign bride, will be the holly grail...

"Why cain't we all jus' git along?!?! "----- The great Rodney King

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Darloup (☼Travelguide writer) says on Nov 29, 2008, 12:07:

robi666 (Trustee board) says on Nov 29, 2008, 12:09:

"And Barranquilla is the ideal place in Colombia?!"
Ask to the thousands cachacos living there and saying that they are costenos.

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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La_Huella says on Nov 29, 2008, 12:32:

Whats up with all these people having a problem getting laid by Latinas in NYC? I never had a problem in 11 years. Bogota is exactly as easy to get laid in as is NYC, no more, no less.

It's true people like the sun, God knows why. I hate the sun, I'd be happy living in darkness the rest of my life. The sun is about the ONLY positive thing you can say about the coast compared to the rest of Colombia. :P

For every cachaco living in the coast there are about half a million costeños living here in Bogota. The guitarrist in my band is from CTG, he moved here with his whole extended family, about 40 of em. They took over half of Cedritos.

I certainly would NEVER want to move back to the US, even though the money is much more difficult here. If what happened to me here happened to me in NYC the medical bills would have left me completely bankrupt, just as one small example.

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robi666 (Trustee board) says on Nov 29, 2008, 12:48:

La Huella, cuidado...
You are destroying two important myths of PBH:
1) It is not possible to get laid in NYC with a Colombiana
2) There are no costenos leaving la costa to go living in Bogota

For the rest, you can keep living with the other vampires en la Nevera. :P

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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La_Huella says on Nov 29, 2008, 13:30:

Dude, have you ever felt -51 celsius? THAT is La Foking Nevera. Bogota is beach weather for me!!

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Peter (Moderator) (Trustee board) (Dev team) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 1, 2008, 00:35:

La_Huella says on Dec 1, 2008, 00:43:

Wow, Peter when was the last time you got laid?

I do agree lots of people like it here and wouldn't leave for the world.

Remember Colombia only has 10% of its population living outside of its borders, which is equal to many other countries, including "developed" countries!

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La_Huella says on Dec 1, 2008, 05:39:

I had a friend who traded a tube of toothpaste for sex down there once.

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La_Huella says on Dec 1, 2008, 21:17:

You can stay in a rented house in Havana no problem. People on ISG have done it and written about it. My wife's cousin's husband also did it for a year on some student thingy.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 1, 2008, 21:39:

hey huella you crazy modefoque still living in bogota???
i'll be el dorado for a couple hours on wednesday, come see me you fok!
i'm gettin the hell outta the big apple NYC maybe for good, it depends how much money them colombianitas squaze outta me.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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La_Huella says on Dec 1, 2008, 21:51:

I'll call you.

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