I will tell you whether you are a Gringo (Simple test. Definitive answer.)

Every month someone posts on PBH, asking whether they should be insulted because someone called them a gringo. The answer is usually "maybe". IN COLOMBIA.

After two decades of research, Man Tequila Heavy Industries has finally come up with the definitive answer to this important question. We are pleased to offer you a short quiz, a $14.99 value being offered free to members of PBH through the charitable efforts of the Man-a-tee Group.

Simply answer the following questions YES or NO.

Do you use your fingers to add?
Can you hook up your home to your Camaro and move it to another park?
Do you have any gay friends?
Did your Daddy hit you?
Did you deserve it?
Are you a better specimen of manhood than this quiz?
Do you have a "fast draw"?
Are you a good dancer?
Can you dance the sauce?
Did you go to college with lots of other gringos?
What colour is your nose?
What colour are your eyes?
What colour are your nos and ayes?
Ever work at a gas station?
What languages do you speak?
Where did your grandparents live?
Is the person in your family that has the best job a truck driver?
Someone is reading you this test off their computer, right?
Are you a vegan?
Do you even know what a vegan is?
Do you have a tattoo?
Is it a cartoon character, sports team logo, or beer logo?
Have you had wine with a meal?
Did it come from a box?
Is your skin lighter or darker than a standard paper bag?
Is your skin lighter or darker than a standard plastic bag?
Is your skin darker than the dark telenovela "Sin Tetas No Hay Paraíso"?
How long, in good sun, does it take for you to go from pasty to lobster red?
How long would it take if you first applied rich, creamery butter?

The last question is NOT a yes or no question.

"If I was a pepper, I would look most like ..."
a) a red pepper
b) a yellow pepper
c) a orange pepper
d) a green pepper
e) a black pepper
f) a white pepper
g) a Sergeant Pepper
h) a Dr. Pepper
i) Little Bo Pepper
j) Ay, esta pregunta es terriblemente picante!

For your result, simply e-mail a copy of your answers, a recent passport photo, and all your detailled credit card and banking information (including an outline of any house and car keys) to amiapinchegringo at mantequilla.ca. Should this be difficult do to technical reasons, simply post this information in this thread.

This limited time offer is void in certain countries in the Americas. Other disclaimers are listed at our website mantequilla.ca/amiapinchegringo/yesindeedy

By Man Tequila on Apr 5, 2008, 12:53 in Friendly Talkzone.

Man Tequila says on Apr 5, 2008, 12:56:

Need more information? Our customer service agents are standing by. Dial 1-800-5-ALBINO for further instructions.

Aunque no me creas/ si me lo propongo/ lograre olvidarte/ porque a fin de cuentas/ no soy tan cobarde./ Y termino todo una de estas tardes/ no sera dificil buscar algún sitio donde refugiarme/ donde nunca mas vuelvas a encontrarme. (Polo Montañez)

el torcido says on Apr 5, 2008, 12:57:

M I A ... (somtimes, si) .... gringo?

don't know much about 'conomy

Portena says on Apr 5, 2008, 13:22:

Hilarious!

I feel better! I can smile at it now, I feel better. Ohhhh, better! Gnarls Barkley

nueva york bombero says on Apr 5, 2008, 16:55:

So, I guess I'm a gringo??? I'm still confused.

houstongal says on Apr 5, 2008, 17:32:

jajajaja...too much time on your hands huh MT? Good job!

Man Tequila says on Apr 5, 2008, 20:34:

The scoring system is proprietary. Tell us your answers and our skilled flunkies will give you the answer.

buggy says on Apr 6, 2008, 01:39:

Very funny !

"Cuando el poder es opresor, la virtud tiene derecho a anonadarlo." Simon Bolivar

PALEOLITICO says on Apr 6, 2008, 05:34:

jajaja que buen post pero yo añadiria:

- Tiene usted un tarro de mantequilla de maní en su cocina?
- Camina usted de una manera particular?
- Abandonó usted la protección de sus padre a la edad de los 16 años?
- Tiene usted siempre una critica lista para los latinos?
- Es usted generoso con sus propinas?
- Lleva usted generalmente consigo una cámara fotográfica?
- Qué tan apasionado es usted en el amor?
- Cuántas horas al dia pasa usted en frente de su computadora en su tiempo libre?

Les presento a EL ESCUDO DE ANTIOQUIA! "Oh libertad que perfumas las montañas de mi tierra, deja que aspiren mis hijos tus olorosas esencias..."

Man Tequila says on Apr 6, 2008, 09:59:

Jaja, Paleolitico. No te toma el pelo.

Juanes says on Apr 6, 2008, 11:45:

muy muy bien mamando gallo con ustedes hombre tequilla pero estoy seguro que las palabras son un descripcion de la gente en alabama o kentucky o otro estados en el sur de america del norte....entiendes mendes ?

-siempre dice 'hello' a los ninos en lugar de 'hola'
-te gusta para tomar cervesitas extraneras solamente en los lugares carisimos
-cada hora gringos estan saliendo los hoteles en pantalones cortos con flores
-nunca, ellos gustan para utlizar transporte local
-paracen como un tomatito o langostita despues de tomar el sol fuerte
-te gusta para gritar en el bar cuando este lleno o vacio para ordenar comidas o bebidas

algo mas ?

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Juanes/

Juanes says on Apr 6, 2008, 13:09:

you are a gringo if you match tequillas points and you have this look on your face when you visit colombia or latin america where you see lots of mujeres calientes

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Juanes/