I adopted a whole family??

Dan says on Jan 30, 2007, 13:36:

Watch out and be very careful. If they know that you can help, then you could be the ONLY contact for help. My wife was trying to do that. She would send money to her mom so that she could pay bills. I kept telling her not to, but my wife complained that her mom doesn't work etc etc...

God Bless America!

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esporti says on Jan 30, 2007, 13:45:

Welcome to the Familia Been there, done that....

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southern151 says on Jan 30, 2007, 13:46:

Listen to Dan... He knows what he is talking about on this issue!! Also, I'm sure that DonGringo and UtopiaCowboy will have a good line to throw in as well. LOL

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MacGringo says on Jan 30, 2007, 13:54:

Well really at the end of the day its not your place to get her sister out of debt.
Have you payed previous girlfriends sisters debts in the past?

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bhill says on Jan 30, 2007, 13:59:

What would they do otherwise? Ask what they would do if you were not in the picture, then (as tactfully as you can) suggest they do that.

-Brian

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Waterdawg says on Jan 30, 2007, 14:49:

Welcome To Latin America .. I am always amazed at the guys that read this board ( and others ) and then go ahead and jump in anyway ! lol .. Any American is fair game to Latin Fams !!!!!! It has become a away of life for a whole bunch ... why do you think you see all these hot Broads out with Gringos ?? Yea I know , It's the real thing ! Hey it happens some time ! Like one in every thousand ! Bottom lone ! Don't start playing the Banker or you will never get out of the roll !

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scotty says on Jan 30, 2007, 16:59:

the club welcome to the club...all gringos have money that is a known fact in Latin America. I help people when i can, if i cant do it i just flat out tell them i cant do it..lo siento

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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poco says on Jan 30, 2007, 17:26:

Giving money to someone in the girl friends family is a mistake. My fiancee called me today crying because her sister can not pay a bill. Apparently there is a bill collector harrassing my fiancee and the rest of the family. Guess who's first on the list to help pay? You guessed it, everyone's favorite "rich" Gringo.

My guess is you've given money before,,

OH RIGHT,, it was just a few pesos,, YOU CAN NOT GIVE PEOPLE IN COLOMBIA ANY MONEY,, period. THINK ABOUT IT,, do you give your money to folks in the U.S. ??? If you do,, send me some.

The only exception would be if they WORK for you and you PAY them the going salary,, NO MORE,, if anything less !!!

I suppose I knew NOT to give people ANYTHING before I went to Colombia. This comes from YEARS of experience in other countries.

I was asked to "invest in this", help with that,, bail someone out,, but I didn't,, NOT ONE PESO,, well,, once I chipped in for gas and tolls when my girl friends mother need to go to the Hospital in Cali,, but NO MORE than anyone else.

Keep it up and guess what ??? You'll be held hostage,, yep,, no help, no sex, or breakfast in bed or ????

Trust me one this,, you need to quit giving ANY MONEY,, I have NOT given my Girl Friends kids,, aged 16 and 18 any money,, nope none. If they want money they need to go find a JOB.

BTW: I couldn't resist starting ANOTHER project. Ha,, this one is fairly large. I can't do the work but I can provide drawings and documents. NO ONE makes detailed drawings,, NO ONE. The fabricator said he got a headache understanding what I wanted.

This is part of the work,, can anyone guess the project.

"Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent" - Isaac Asimov

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goin_south says on Jan 30, 2007, 17:40:

Azul: El Gringo, Tio Rico! oh! come on poco. give those kids 2 pesos; it's a little bit of nothing.

really...I like bhill's suggestion best. (is that Benny Hill?)

dos pesos mio,... pequito de nada

Colombia es

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vicshere says on Jan 30, 2007, 18:27:

i am guessing something to do with a security gate

listo
"con mucho gusto"
Vic

listo

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 30, 2007, 18:53:

Message is simple.....Drop her NOW What you see, is what you get.

A simple solution: GET OUT NOW.

Does that sound harsh? Does that sound like an over reaction? If so, prove me wrong. Look, I know there are many people on here that have found great Colombians. UC, Mario, Kernow (whereever he is), Vic, oh....the list goes on and on. But this isn't rocket science is it?

If this descarada, has the nerve to call you now to ask you to pay the bills for another member of her family, do you think it's going to change when you get married? ABSOULUTELY NOT. In fact, it get worse. Much worse. Because at that point, you have brought her here, given her a life, perhaps given you a kid....my point being, you will be more obligated to help that "poor old sister" in the interest of keeping peace. It will be hard as hell for you to say no.

Let's go a step further....and this is important. Don't you think it says something fundimental about the girl in the first place? The mentality of the girl.....is the get what she can. So does someone here really think it's as simple as having a heart to heart conversation with her and explaining to her that asking for funds in circumstances like these is not proper. Like someone said above. If you were dating a girl here, and if you were engaged to her, and your fiance asked you to help her sister pay a bill, what would you do in that case? Would the marriage still be forthcoming? Why should the standard change just because you found some Colombian girl that is trying to use you for money that she percieves you have. Part of the problem is that so many Colombians think that ALL Americans bathe in money everyday, so they really don't see themselves as imposing. Yep, thats what they think.

Most importantly, women that have that kind of nerve, are....in all probability, the same type of women that will marry you just to get a meal ticket...papers...and related. Is she really worth taking the chance?

I repeat. GET OUT NOW. No negotiation. No explainging what is right and what is wrong. If she does not know that by now, she does not need to go to school on YOUR money.

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 30, 2007, 19:09:

Every poor Colombian family would like to have a gringo vaca to milk and now this family has found you. Do you want to be their cow? If you patronized hookers exclusively for the rest of your life, you'd get off cheaper than you will if you stick with this chick. KICK HER ASS TO THE CURB. Don't ask yourself "What would Jesus Do?" Or in Austin "What Would Willie Do?" What would a Colombian guy do? Punt her and move on.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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tejasmarcos says on Jan 30, 2007, 19:09:

the bottom line if you help your family in the states, you should be helping your family in Locombia. i've helped alot of friends and family in the past here in the states and did not have it go my way all the time. the key is knowing where to draw the line. the sister would not think twice about helping her sister. i've been in those shoes. that does not mean i would ask my fiance for the $$ to help her though.

* most latinos send $$ back home to their homes and families. that is the la familia way - not necessarily a milk the gringo scenario (although that happens too unfortunately).

* remittances reach $45 BILLION in 2006. http://www.marketingymedios.com/marketingymedios/noticias/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003286345

* remittances represents the second largest contributor to the Mexico GNP.

trying to walk a straight line on sour mash and cheap wine...

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 30, 2007, 19:20:

tejasmarcos What kind of comparison are you making? Are you serious? Can't honestly think that Latino family members that are ALREADY HERE, and therefore sending money back to their IMMEDIATE FAMILIES, is the same thing as a Gringo who knows the girl only to a limited extent(yea ...call it what it is) decides to marry the girl, bring her here and then inherits a family that he is asked to support.

Latinos, whether they be Mexicans, Colombians, or from whatever, that send money home, are typically sending money back to BLOOD RELATIVES, that are typically IMMEDIATE FAMILY, that hardly is the same as the scenario that this guy is describing. Two very different worlds.

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pedro says on Jan 30, 2007, 19:23:

Colombian opinions? I would be interested to hear Colombian opinions on this.

If you are a Colombian living and working in another country:
- do you send money or provide assistance to your family members?
- under what circumstances would you do so?

I would never say this phenomenon is limited to Colombians taking from gringos.

I think the helping out family with money thing is quite common between Colombians. Also in other cultures like Fiji and China.

Isn't there a middle ground that can be reached? Somewhere between NOT ONE PESO and issuing a blank cheque to pay off any family member's credit card debt.

que nota!

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 30, 2007, 20:24:

3 points Pedro
I'll repeat my point that I made in my previous post.....and I will get right to the point. (a rarity for me)And that is

There is a difference between Colombians that are working here, sending money back to their blood relatives (mother, father, sister, brother..etc) and A GRINGO who is not even "aquired" his In-Laws, and then being asked to send money to people that ARE NOT his blood relatives. If you cannot see the difference then.....I give up. I am sure most people can.

Mario
You are a more confident man than I am:
You said in part:
"But on the real side, if you say look, my funds aren't there and I just can't do it - watch for the reaction"

Ya see, my problem is not telling the girl that the funds aren't there. My problem is that the mere fact that she asked for the money, says something fundimental about the woman...right up front. She should not have. It just goes to the heart of what type of person this woman is. It's her "forma decer" and you just don't explain those things away. Her actions tell all. Hence....why take the risk?

DonGringo
I don't think anyone is saying that all Colombian girls are like that. I would never ever say that. That would be an insult to my people. On the other hand, many of them are. You have to fact the fact that they have what it takes. When a 25 year old hottie marries a 50 year old gringo, I would say there is a very good chance that the girl is looking for more than merely a meaningful relationship with a gringo, wouldn't you? I have said the same thing over and over again and I will not move on this point, and that is that I am utterly amazed how the moment I get back to Colombia, all of a sudden I look like Brad Pitt with a group of woman from an age and looks perspective, would not even glance at me if they were here in the US. Hmmm, I wonder why.

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manINred says on Jan 30, 2007, 20:26:

MAY NOT BE AS THEY PAINT IT! A) I agree with the bloke above me, he's right, chicas looking for quid aren't in it for YOU. If you think that's all Colombianas want from you, then you are insecure. I have had the opposite experiences which I'll explain in

B) Met a Paisa, beautiful, wanted to acompany me on my travels around the country, so i let her, but i paid everything because she didn't have money. Throughout the trip i paid probably 200$ overall but then she let me into her home and fed me for a month in Medellin. Anyway, I never thought for a moment about paying anything for her, didn't matter to me, but it results that I did in the end.

A few months later the girl shells out 1500$ for me to fly to see her in Colombia. Way more than I ever paid for her. When true feelings are involved, finances get exchanged tit for tat. Maybe your girl is like that, mine couldn't care less about money. Suss her out, but don't be overly pesimistic.

MONEY DOESN'T MATTER SI HAY SENTIMIENTOS BONITOS! Keep that in mind, and she will too.

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manINred says on Jan 30, 2007, 20:27:

oops bloke above me changed, so i agree with DonGringo, not Gomes5

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tejasmarcos says on Jan 30, 2007, 22:28:

my point only makes sense if the marriage is eminent. i would personally be expecting the fiance to start working when she came to the states as my future bride. 6 one half, right? gold diggers excluded.

trying to walk a straight line on sour mash and cheap wine...

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 31, 2007, 01:37:

I have mix opinions here i -I have mix opinions here i do agree with Pedro in this ""I think the helping out family with money thing is quite common between Colombians. Also in other cultures like Fiji and China."" I will also include another countries like Poland, Romania, I have a friend married to A Russian and she send money to help her parents sometimes, the same a Venezuelan girl, she paid her youngest sister education in Venezuela, maybe because we rae more family oriented we feel is our duty to help them in the time of need, but hence not PATRONISED!!

AND I DO AGREE WITH G5 in this statement


""I don't think anyone is saying that all Colombian girls are like that. I would never ever say that. That would be an insult to my people. On the other hand, many of them are. You have to fact the fact that they have what it takes. When a 25 year old hottie marries a 50 year old gringo, I would say there is a very good chance that the girl is looking for more than merely a meaningful relationship with a gringo, wouldn't you? I have said the same thing over and over again and I will not move on this point, and that is that I am utterly amazed how the moment I get back to Colombia, all of a sudden I look like Brad Pitt with a group of woman from an age and looks perspective, would not even glance at me if they were here in the US. Hmmm, I wonder why."" YEP


-How many gringos are sending money to Colombia TO THEIR GF and they don't complaint then, they come out with all sort of excuses to justified their behaviour, "she is helping her mom cuz she is the only one working" she is poor and I don't mind sending her just 100 dollars to help her and her parents is nothing for me" as soon as he married her and she wants to send money to her family them they complaint.

-What! did you think she was going to come to the USA and forget totally about her parents or family, she will feel more fustrated now that she can't do nothing about, she better get a job quick.

engage brain before opening mouth

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JMCana says on Jan 31, 2007, 04:21:

Bloomberg reports I took this from a Bloomberg report.

"Money sent home by Colombians who have lived abroad for more than a year rose to a record $3.3 billion in 2005, more than double the amount of foreign currency generated by coal, the nation's biggest export after oil, according to the central bank."

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=aSZ5mjokft.E&refer=home

And that number does not reflect how much from Gringo boyfriends. So obviously you are not alone.

However, I learned the hard way, not with a Colombian, but a beautiful younger Mexican lady.

Azul - only you can decide what decision to take as the rest of us are not in your exact shoes. But I do believe that Dongringo has given you some excellent advice, that is if you wish to keep the woman.

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 31, 2007, 05:51:

My wife doesn't send one thin dime to her family back in Colombia. All this nonsense about families being closer blah blah blah is total rubbish. True the poor families have to help each other out because if they don't, no one else will. Get a family where everyone's got jobs and careers and you will find that they behave pretty much like people do everywhere else.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Lowell says on Jan 31, 2007, 06:10:

Helping family I help my wife's family because I want to. The father of the family died sudenly a little over a year ago. That poor person was gone from the house 12 -14 hours a day, mom made arepas/sewed, kids sewing..... and they were still on the edge of failure. No one has ever asked for a handout. I've loaned them small ammounts of money and they pay me back with interest. I pay about 1/2 the utility bills and all the food/medicine etc for 5 people. Gradually they are becoming more self supportive. Also, in return we get free child care every day.

I thank God that I have the ability to help. Yes, due to the help factor, I'm having to wait a bit to finish my place.... So be it. A few years ago, I wasn't in such a position. When I return to my house after visiting the ATM I always try to remember to say thanks.

Each family has a different story. The neighbor down the street uses the money sent to her and her kids by her ex to buy booze and coke. Wish I could set him straight. However, that's not my place.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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Lowell says on Jan 31, 2007, 06:13:

the neighbor The neighbors kids (young adults)also use the coke and booze. Wow, the trouble that will set in if the money cow in the States dries up.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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JMCana says on Jan 31, 2007, 07:09:

Many wonderful women in Colombia I feel blessed with my Colombian wife. She has a good job that she loves. Even when members of her family were down and needed help not a word was said to me. In fact she did not want me to send my now step-daughter some money so she could finish University. I am now glad to say my step-daughter has a job in Chile and offered to pay airfare for us to visit her. There are many beautiful women in Colombia who are not after a gringo for their money. But there are the money ones in Colombia and probably more in the Philippines.

Dongringo mentioned he has a system in place to weed them out. When I was in the USA, I had the Starbucks test to weed out the high maintenance ladies.
Take them to Starbucks. If they order the most expensive drink then that is the last date.
If they order something like, Chai with soy, a dash of cinnamon, the temperature of blah blah blah - no way can I handle a woman that picky next thing you know she will not like the way my bluejeans hang on me or throw out all my ties because they do not match my skin tone coloring.
If she orders just a coffee black - well maybe a couple more dates but experience says she might be the type that complains that you leave the beautiful efficient waitress too big of a tip.
But if she orders something in the middle without too much fuss - generally those are keepers.

But all of that was for naught, I found a beautiful Colombian who does not drink coffee.

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 31, 2007, 10:56:

UC's wisdom "Get a family where everyone's got jobs and careers and you will find that they behave pretty much like people do everywhere else."

I agree with UC. Look at it this way. Any Colombian girl that has a career going for her, and/or comes from a family with money, has no desire to come here to begin with. OK, there are exceptions, but not many. My family in Bogota is Rich with a capital R. And, as typical of the way things are in Colombia, all of their friends are rich. My cousin in Miami is living there because her mother and father happen to have a condo in on Collins ave, just a few blocks north of the Fountainbleu hotel. You think my cousin is interested in marrying a Gringo? All of her brothers and sisters have good jobs in the various businesses that they own. You will NEVER see these people or any of their friends posting on any of the gazillion dating sites.

Look, if your going to marry a pobrecita, than you might as well marry one here. It's cheaper. Also, you can cofirm whether the mother really needs open heart surgery. Sorry to say this but most of you guys are just living in a dream world. Clueless....

Here in Chicago I have a friend from Romania whose cousin came here on an education visa. Goregous. At 26, she will rival any Colombian of similar age. She read and writes poetry in English. She play the violin. She rarely drinks and she always dresses sexy, but not like a slut. And man....can she kill a man with her smile and voice. I thought this girl was really something special. Not for me of course since I only date latinas. Anyway, she find this guy with an incredible amount of money. Has a summer home in Michigan. A yacht that he cruises on to the summerhome from Chicago. Enough said. She tells me how much he loves her and she loves him. "And the sex is great" she says. That I found funny. Next thing I know, about 8 months later she marries the guy. I get invited to the reception. I found out that he is 51. Go ahead guys....tell me its Looooove right? Sure it is.

OK, so I thought well, this girl is educated, she is going to school and speaks English well. She is already here legally so she really does not need the guy to come here, or for papers. She is here legally and she obviously has a future with or without the guy.

About a few month after the marriage, I run into her and we start talking about a cat that she adopted. She said, The cat hates my husband. I asked why. She said, that's OK, I hate him too. I was shocked. But you just married him I said. Why do you hate him, I asked. She said I hate him because he made me declaw the cat. He is "so worried about his expensive furniture." She continued, and said "that's OK, I hope the cat bites him." I said it looks like the marraige is not going too well. "Are you falling out of love" I asked.
"Love" she asked with a chuckle. "I don't love him, but I do what I have to do." "I just have to wait until I can stay forever." End of story.

Now guys, this guy lives in Lake Forest. That suburb will match the income of almost any in the US. No middle class there. He is a very successfull business man and he built it all from the ground up. You can't say he is not a man of the streets.....a man that knows how to deal with people.....a man who is intelligent. You cannot accomplish what this man was able to accomplish without being sharp.....as sharp as the sharpest knife in the drawer. Yet, he is clearly the victim of a con game. He does not know it. He will though soon enough. He will really learn. Do I feel sorry for him? Na....not really.

My father always told me..................::::

"NEVER MARRY DOWN"

You marry down, you take risks....big risks. When you marry, you have enough things working against you that are totally unrelated to issue like this one. You marry a girl below you from a far, you are taking big risks. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But when she is already telling you that part of being engaged to you, creates the obligation to help her family....man.....you guys are really clueless and are really taking chances on this one. So quit thinking with your dick, and think with the head on top of your shoulders.

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Wastelandlive says on Jan 31, 2007, 11:18:

Well said. I had great luck with this metaphor while in Colombia:

"Cariño, our relationship is like a sports car. It's a two seater. It's not a van or a bus. Y punto."

You can REALLY be playing with fire in Colombia. What happens if your policeman brother in law is kidnapped by the FARC? Do you surrender your life's savings, or tell your wife, "too bad honey, but that's my retirement savings?"

Wasteland

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Peter Miami says on Jan 31, 2007, 12:10:

G5 Hi G5,

I feel sorry for that guy. Hope he wakes up soon.

Peter Miami

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 31, 2007, 14:30:

Don Gringo.....don't ya see....it's different. & Hi Peter The playing field changes when you talk about an older Colombian man of means, who marrys down. Where do you want me to begin?

For one thing, the girl is staying in country and by virtue of that fact alone, the level of dependence cause her to have to stay with the man. If I live in Bogota, and I marry the girl at Davivienda, and increase her standard of living tremendously, she will be very compelled to be with me. She would live much better. She would not even have to work. In fact, I might prefer it that way and I am sure there are many Colombianas that would all to willing to give up standing, waiting for busses on Bogota's cold dark rainy days. Don't you? In other words....."Dependence" becomes a reality. If we divorce, she will be back to the days of old. In spite of attempts in recent years to make things more equitable in case of a divorce, the man still has more latitude to stick it up the ass (figuratively) to the woman. No so here in the US. Just ask any of the many of Gringos who have had it stuck up the ass by their own attorneys, as well as a legal system that is set up primarily to screw the man.

For example, I told someone once that if you want to see if the woman really loves you, tell her that you want to marry her and stay in Colombia. Go ahead. Try that trick. Then you will see....and I am certain of this, how fast that Colombian girl will drop the man in a heartbeat. Obviously not in all cases.....but in an astoninging number of cases this is true. If that is the case YOU KNOW they are only marrying you for a chance to come to the US and live the better life. Give me a break. Colombian women that were really professionals in Bogota, (teachers, accountants, executive secretaries etc.) come to this country, and end up working as maids, baby sitters, and factory worker. In fact, many of them earn more than Americans do. They work hard and are well paid. They will come here on a marriage visa, and once they get their papers, learn some English, they divorce and get one of those jobs. It is called a WIN/WIN scenario for the girl. In fact, I know of Colombian women that come here and they are so stupid, and in such a hurry to get out of the marraige, they don't even wait for the papers. One day the man comes home and....she is gone.....gone. Before she leaves the guy, she goes to one of the Colombian Clubs, and Colombians being as social as we are, quickly find a "local" (man or woman) to cling to, and they end up moving with one of their own, trashing the Gringo, all the while, trashing to Gringo for being such a fool. Man......give me a break. The stories I can tell you will shock the shit out of you. Remember, I am Colombian and I am here, involved, and observing what happens in my community. You are in Colombia and I also know how thing work there.

My point is, your comparing wealthy Colombian men marrying Colombian girls in their own country to Gringos to come to Colombia to bring them to the US are two different worlds....different dynamics. The women in Colombia have no place to go, unless they want to step down in their quality of living. In the US, many of the men that come to marry these girls, are not nearly as wealthy as their Colombian counterparts in Colombia.

I don't know, that is just the way I see it.

One more thing. This example applies to women from all countries where there are beautiful ladies that avail themselves to Gringos for the purpose of marraige. For the umteenth time, I am not saying that all my Colombian girls do this, but Damn it, don't even beging to tell me it is not common. You are wrong. You just don't know. IF anyone wants to challenge me, let them come here and some Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night, I'll take you to the Colombian clubs, and you will see and meet the ladies first hand, who have stuck it to Gringos that they have married, and used for the purpose of getting here. Then come argue with me.

Do the Mexicans do it? Not even close to the extent that the Colombians do. Why? 2 reasons.

The first one is obvious. Hint: I don't see Gringos running south of the border to find girls like they do to Colombia. The evidence is empiracle (read between the lines)

The second reason is also obvious. Most Mexicans that are illegal enter here illegally. They could not give a damn if they are caught. If they get tossed out, and that almost never happens, they can alway try to re enter the same way they got here before. Colombian girls don't have that option.

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ali_boracho says on Jan 31, 2007, 15:36:

na

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alleycat says on Jan 31, 2007, 15:49:

money issues are usually the number 1 source of tension and conflict in a relationship. better get these issues resolved prior to taking the plunge. if you're not inclined to help her family let her know. you mentioned your own financial situation is currently shaky. let her know this also. my advice is to develop a joint plan on how to handle money when you're married. maybe she could work once here and adapted and then send her family money out of her own funds. be creative as this isn't insoluble.

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 31, 2007, 19:17:

DonGringo ali borach, alleycat It is refreshing for me to say, I agree with 98% of you have said. In fact, I probably agree with 100% but I just want to give myself an "out" in case I later spot something I do take issue with.

You lay it our perfectly. This is great. Meaningful discussion with someone. It just does not happen here too often.

Yea, the circumstances are different and you do have more perspective on how Colombianas react with Gringos in Colombia than I would have. First I am not Gringo, and second, I don't live in Colombia. Your insight is curious though.

Ali boracho........sorry to hear your story, but I am anything but surpirsed

Alleycat. I sort of agree with you, but like a few posters above said. A man here in the US is not expected to help out the family of the woman he marries, why does the standard change just because he is marrying some young hot Colombian girl. Will someone intelligently explain that to me? Or is this just a subtle form of prostitution wherein the woman sets an additional price above and beyond bringing her to the States or Europe, so the old gringo can get some young culo? hmmmm sounds that way. In my entire life, I have never heard an American man marry an American woman with it being done knowing before hand, that the man has an obligation to help the women's family or his inlaws to be................That is bizarre.....absurd and nothing less.

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chester says on Jan 31, 2007, 19:37:

Hardly the Bailiwick of Colombianas My son's mother, a phucking, slut gringa would make the most hardened colombiana, even a nica, green with with envy with the manner in which she and her family demands tribute. This two bit, substanance abusing gringa whore and her family cost me more than any colombiana could in a zillion years.

Tell you what, I'll trade my grown son's slut whore mother and her ungrateful family for a colombiana and her family any time. In fact, I have.

Phuck every fat cow, brain dead, constipated gringa in the world. I got no use for them.

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billyb says on Jan 31, 2007, 19:53:

So Chester, are you saying... you would never marry a gringa again?

BillyB

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famsearch says on Jan 31, 2007, 19:56:

with my wife and i... she and my sis in law here were talking a while back, and she finally found out how much i had helped various family members, without being asked. when i found out one needed help covering medical expenses while we were there, sis in law and i gave her what we could, and after back in the states, she found out for me what was needed to be covered, it wasn't much, but more than they could afford, so i covered it. i found out another had a spate of bad luck after an accident, helped them out too. didn't cover all the expenses, but a little more than needed to keep the wolf from the door. there have been other times where i've helped, but i was never asked by anyone, sis in law, wife, nor colombian relatives. my wife, while she was in colombia (and i sent her money for her necessities) only asked me twice to wire funds in the time between 2001 and 2006, and even then she was very embarrassed to be asking me, her husband, for money. after talking about it for a while, i broached my idea for sending the mom some money every month, to cover expenses, something i was unhappy to find out that some of her own kids don't do, and she agreed that it would be a good thing to do, again, without anyone asking me. i must have really lucked into a really good wife. =)
dan

dan

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 31, 2007, 22:31:

G5, your father was a very wise man. "Never marry down"!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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poco says on Feb 1, 2007, 04:25:

This is certainly true G5, your father was a very wise man. "Never marry down"!

I've told my GF's kids MANY TIMES they NEED TO MARRY SOME RICH GUYS DAUGHTER or don't marry,, period,, they will not be able to afford a wife and kids. I've also suggest they consider being GAY, I've yet to meet a POOR gay couple.

Some say there is a MIDDLE ground between NO MONEY and LOTS or if the woman stays at home and raises children.

The question was family members,, again, they get zero, except maybe christmas.

I know exactly what my GF needs to EXIST and I give her exactly that amount. If she want more than she can figure out how to get the money, either by working or investing. If she wants to give her money to her family then what do I care ?

Nope, the new project is not a fountain. This is another view of the project as it nears completion. My bananas are "hanging around in a bunch".

"Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent" - Isaac Asimov

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aztec says on Feb 1, 2007, 06:30:

something i was unhappy to find out that some of her own kids do famsearch, suggest that you insist the children participate in helping their mom even if it is only a small pittance. Other wise when she really needs help they will stand back and assume you will pick up the pieces.

Started that way with me until I insisted everyone share equally in helping their 80 year old sister. They all help but sometimes I think they do so only because they are embarrassed by the gringo.

Assisting my wife's sister started about 10 years after my marriage and only because I insisted. My wife has never asked for a cent from me. After we married she even paid off herself a credit card bill she had. Refused to allow me me to help. She did have some money and other assets on her own before we were married.

It happens that I love my wife's sister like my own and her options were bleak like many Colombians at that age. I could do much more but don't want the family looking to me as the bank.

Already have had to refuse other pleas for help from other members of the family. Sounds cruel but there is no end to that process. The need in Colombia is absolutely a bottomless pit.

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billyb says on Feb 1, 2007, 06:31:

Poco, a kiosko? BillyB

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pelon2007 says on Feb 1, 2007, 06:49:

photo I have a system in place to weed there little asses out right now. The girl in the photo with me on another page is one that passed all the tests.what page are u talking about
photo of you and your woman

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pelon2007 says on Feb 1, 2007, 06:49:

photo I have a system in place to weed there little asses out right now. The girl in the photo with me on another page is one that passed all the tests.what page are u talking about
photo of you and your woman

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pedro says on Feb 1, 2007, 08:08:

Tests -- maybe they go both ways? Guys on PBH often talk of developing systems and contriving tests. These tests are supposed to sort the good colombianas from the bad.

Well, maybe Colombian families have their own tests for the gringo guy, too? And maybe this kind of solicitation is one of them.

Some couples will prefer to share everything, and I guess there are couples who will share nothing. If sharing nothing, there'll only be "your money" and "my money", "your family" and "my family" etc. And of course there are not just the two extremes, but some middle ground too.

From the Colombian point of view, the gringo's reaction to this scenario would certainly tell me a lot about how much he was buying into the family thing. Not just whether he says yes or no, but *how* he says yes or no.

Remember there are certain foreigners who speak no Spanish, have no appreciation for Colombian things, but just want to find a hot young thing and take her to back to their own country to live. If they can do it without even visiting Colombia, so much the better. This kind of guy is probably not interested at all in her family, sees them as an inconvenience and would rather forget they even exist.

que nota!

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poco says on Feb 1, 2007, 09:35:

Have I said this before ? If you are asked for MONEY,, they are a PROSTITUTE. This is a very simple fact of life in Colombia.

One feature of living in Colombia,, (half the time) a person can do things that would be "silly" or impossible to accomplish in the U.S.

My latest project was an "inspiration" that could become reality for very little time or money. I can almost promise that VERY FEW folks have one of these.

Plus, it was fun "HAND PAINT" the project.

"Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent" - Isaac Asimov

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Lowell says on Feb 1, 2007, 10:34:

I married down I was born a doctors son and we had it all. All, that is in reguard to material possessions, vacations...... Early on I observed that these people weren't happy. I often went to play with friends whoose families were more middle class. They were more happy and close. My dad died when I was 14, left no insurance, estate...... Life changed overnight. Mom went back to school, became a nurse, sold house and moved into a smaller cheaper one......... she was bitter until her death. I learned to change and grew to like it. The more basic the better. I don't feel the pressure from family and peers to always push for the top. I learned that looking down upon people (as my parents and others of that set did)is wrong. Even with the small pension that I receive, I've enjoyed bring my Colombian family up a notch or 2 in comfortabity.

To each, his own story and to each, his own desires.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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famsearch says on Feb 1, 2007, 11:25:

aztec the best thing is, none of the others will know that i am helping the mother in law. it will be a quiet thing, she, my wife, and i will be the only ones who know.
dan

dan

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aztec says on Feb 1, 2007, 12:58:

You are right DonGringo... ..."it is when it is expected that it is no fun." That really bothers me.

Surprising how many do in fact just expect it. Took some reeducation by my wife before the relatives got the message.

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