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How to make your Colombian wife happy (Humor)

Okay, it's official, here it is after much research. The formula to keep your Colombian wife-(or girlfriend) happy.
YOU HAVE TO BE

1) Amigo -- friend
2) Compañero -- companion
3) Amante -- lover
4) Hermano -- brother
5) Padre -- father
6) Maestro -- teacher
7) Educador --educator
8) Cocinero -- chef
9) Mecánico -- mechanic
10) Plomero -- plummer
11) Decorador de interiores -- interior designer
12) Estilista -- stylist
13) Electricista -- electrician
14) Sexólogo -- sexologist
15) Gineco - Obstetra -- gynelocologist - obstetrician
16) Psicólogo -- Psychologist
17) Psiquiatra --Psychiatrist
18) Terapeuta -- therapist
19) Audaz -- clever
20) Simpático -- Fun
21) Atlético -- athletic
22) Cariñoso -- affectionate
23) Atento -- thoughtful
24) Caballeroso -- gentleman
25) Inteligente -- intelligent
26) Imaginativo -- imaginative
27) Creativo -- creative
28) Dulce -- sweet
29) Fuerte -- strong
30) Comprensivo -- understanding
31) Tolerante -- tolerant
32) Prudente -- prudent
33) Ambicioso --ambitious
34) Capaz -- capable
35) Valiente -- brave
36) Decidido -- decisive
37) Confiable -- trustworthy
38) Respetuoso -- respectful
39) Apasionado -- passionate
40) Y... Sobre Todo... Muy Solvente -- and over all financially secure
De la misma forma, hay que poner atención en:
Of course you also have to pay attention to:

* No ser celoso, pero tampoco desinteresado. -- don't be neither jelous nor show lack of interest
*
Llevarse bien con su familia, pero no dedicarles más tiempo que a ella.
get along with the family but do not spend more time with them than with her

* Darle su espacio, pero mostrarse preocupado por dónde estuvo.
Give her space but also show concern as to where she was

Y muy importante es... No olvidar las fechas
And very important, do not forget these dates

De cumpleaños -- birthdays
-Aniversario de novios -- anniversaries of (boyfriend/girlfriend)
-De Boda -- wedding anniversaries
-Graduación -- graduation
-Santo -- (her saint day -- sample, if her name is Teresa, then her saint day is Saint Teresa's day)
-Menstruación -- monthly cycle (period)
-Fecha del Primer Beso -- date of first kiss
-Cumpleaños de la tía y del hermano o hermana más querida -- her aunt, brother, sister etc birthdays
-Cumpleaños de los abuelos Y de la mejor amiga -- grandparent and best friend's birthdays
Desgraciadamente, el cumplir al pie de la letra estas instrucciones
Unfortunately you have to follow these to the T to be successful.

NO garantiza al 100% la felicidad de ella, porque podría sentirse inmersa en una vida de sofocante perfección y fugarse con el primer desgraciado vividor que encuentre.

NOT guaranteed 100% she could feel overwhelmed and drowned in perfection and she might elope with the first moron, no good for nothing leach she finds.

Dios dijo: ¡¡¡¡Amálas!!!! ... PERO NUNCA DIJO QUE HABÍA QUE ENTENDERLAS!

God said: love them!! but never said, you have to understand them!

COMO HACER FELIZ A UN HOMBRE
HOW TO KEEP TMEN HAPPY

HACER FELIZ A UN HOMBRE ES FÁCIL Se necesita:
KEEPING A MAN HAPPY IS VERY SIMPLE:
1) Sexo --Sex
2) Comida -- Food
3) TV -- TV

By mrgizmo on Aug 6, 2009, 15:07 in Friendly Talkzone.

Rocco81 says on Aug 6, 2009, 15:38:

Just give her money and she'll be happy.

Sic semper tyrannis

0 funny, 0 helpful.

katwhiskers says on Aug 6, 2009, 15:40:

Well after reading that it's easy to understand why I'm the man of her dreams! Perfect score!

I miss the wonderful sound of silver coins in my pocket, abolish the Federal Reserve and bring back real money.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

CakeDesigner-wannabe says on Aug 6, 2009, 15:44:

D-I-N-E-R-O

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Aug 6, 2009, 15:49:

shoes

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Aug 6, 2009, 15:58:

space

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Aug 6, 2009, 16:02:

and the prize goes to desi.
d

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

mrgizmo says on Aug 6, 2009, 16:07:

I just realized that the list lacks an important item MIND READER. It comes in handy on those occasions when you ask: "What's Wrong?'' and she says: "Nothing.''

Behind every successful man, there's a nagging woman

0 funny, 2 helpful.

pilotguy says on Aug 6, 2009, 16:22:

I was at a party, We were speaking about wives being happy. A fellow in his 80's, married over 50 years said, "its possible to make your wife happy ?"

0 funny, 1 helpful.

mrgizmo says on Aug 6, 2009, 16:42:

During an interview of an elderly couple who had been married approximately 50 years, the question was asked: To what do you attribute the success in your marriage? The wife replied, "well, about fifty years ago we decided that I would make the little decisions and my husband would make the big decisions. So far it's working because he hasn't had to make any big decisions yet.''

Behind every successful man, there's a nagging woman

3 funny, 0 helpful.

katwhiskers says on Aug 6, 2009, 17:05:

Mind reader, check, got that one too. Case in point, my girlfriend emailed yesterday and asked me to bring a certain brand of shampoo. To which I replied by text... I'm sure you want the conditioner too. Her text reply, "You read my mind."

I miss the wonderful sound of silver coins in my pocket, abolish the Federal Reserve and bring back real money.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

El Expatriado says on Aug 6, 2009, 17:50:

I agree Desi- Space- buy her a 1400 ft sq apartment in a Strato 6 area and it will make her happy (for a while).

Why so many postings on keeping Colombian Women Happy? What about Colombian Men? Isn't this sexist? Sholdn't there be something in here about keepng your Colombia man happy, whether you are a Gringa, Colombiana or gay Gringo or Colombiano?

Isn't PBH an equal rights web-site?

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Nucknfuts says on Aug 6, 2009, 19:08:

Sorry, Gringa's stopped caring about what a man wants long ago......

Da Nuck

You are never lost, unless you don't want to be where your at.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

barrumundi says on Aug 6, 2009, 19:08:

Yes Desi.......SPACE is right.......OUTER SPACE jajajajaja. Women are from MARS.....men are from VENUS (or is it the other way around?)

http://poorbuthappy.com/yourthing/post/uploading-photos-for-dummies/

0 funny, 0 helpful.

barrumundi says on Aug 6, 2009, 19:10:

El Expatriado: (as per above)

"KEEPING A MAN HAPPY IS VERY SIMPLE:
1) Sexo --Sex
2) Comida -- Food
3) TV -- TV

And I for one am not that fussed about TV!

http://poorbuthappy.com/yourthing/post/uploading-photos-for-dummies/

0 funny, 1 helpful.

Rocco81 says on Aug 6, 2009, 22:42:

Desi isn't even Colombian? How would she know? Well maybe she dated some Colombianas....todo es possible

I guess maybe I'll get deleted for that.

Sic semper tyrannis

1 funny, 0 helpful.

saddlespur says on Aug 7, 2009, 03:14:

Don't block the mirror, purses & shoes...

To Get What You Never Had...You Must Do What You've Never Done.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Aug 8, 2009, 04:47:

a real good idea deleted..................pity

patriarch

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sanandressi says on Aug 8, 2009, 08:01:

STAY SINGLE

0 funny, 0 helpful.

JGD (☼Travelguide writer) says on Aug 8, 2009, 09:03:

pay attention to # 40 and especially # 357 !!

You are worried the US is going to invade and take the Venezuelan oil?... you are selling everything to them !!Peruvian Pres. Alan Garcia to Chavez

0 funny, 0 helpful.

El Expatriado says on Aug 8, 2009, 09:39:

I just heard a new one - follow the Colombiano and Thai male philosophy- Treat 'em Mean and Keep 'em Keen.

0 funny, 1 helpful.

Sonny says on Aug 9, 2009, 08:18:

Just learn to say yes honey and here is some money, learn how not to be a man and then kick them out and invite an evening visitor. You only pay once that way

Just taking life easy. I worked hard for it and deserve it and now doing it.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Aug 9, 2009, 10:12:

notice how 'honey' and 'money' sound alike.....interesting.

patriarch

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mrgizmo says on Aug 9, 2009, 11:31:

I know the above was meant to be funny. However, when we choose (or chose) our colombian wives we did not pull names out of a hat. Sometimes we make the mistake of spending more time becoming familiar and researching a car than a wife. That's the reason why so many people are unhappy with their spouses (both Men/Women).
I knew exactly what I was getting into. I knew her as well as her family. Therefore there were no surprises.
And my motto has been for many years: "Behind every successful man, there's a nagging woman.'' I know I said nagging instead of GOOD, but hey, most women like to nag, it's their nature. The problem is, they are right most of the time, whether we admit it or not.

Behind every successful man, there's a nagging woman

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Aug 10, 2009, 05:20:

yo gizmo...........my motto having been in and out of seven marriages is that the woman is always right....even when she's wrong.

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.