How to beg forgiveness of a Colombian girl?

Albatross says on Jun 6, 2005, 10:15:

;) Just give me her address... I'll go talk to her.
(She is good looking, right ?)

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jun 6, 2005, 10:27:

No Mariachi band !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jajajajajajajajaja No Mariachi band !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jajjajajajaa

Send Red roses.... You can send 36 long stemed roses for about 45 dollars......

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jun 6, 2005, 10:35:

Depend the sin WC, red roses= small sin
Big sin big screwed up!= well we have to talk uhmmm diamonds?

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greenday says on Jun 6, 2005, 10:54:

learn Spanish learn spanish and forget the girl for now. This is just the beginning of your problems if you can't communicate with this girl.
It continues to baffle me how gringos can fall head over heals with a Colombiana, when they can't communicate with each other. What's up with that?? It's the number one reason why these relationships fail (no it's not age differences)...
Men fall in love with what a woman looks like...women fall in love with what a man says. Latin women, more than any other it seems, needs a man who can communicate with them, one that can make them laugh, that can appreciate their culture, their music.
It reminds me of a Vallenate CD I bought on my last trip to Colombia (I'm a fanatic)...It's one of those Vallenato ORO collections # 26 (or something like that)...it has all of the Vallenato hits from this past year. Well, as a bonus you get an extra CD of the music, but with no words...I HATE IT!!! Without the words Vallenato just doesn't do it for me...same thing with these Colombianas...you've got to be able to communicate.

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Baelzar says on Jun 6, 2005, 12:39:

I'd rather not forget her.

I realize I'm on thin ice anyway, but I'll do what I can within reason to try to build something with her.

I don't think that's strange. It's not like emotion gives me a choice...

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daver says on Jun 6, 2005, 12:47:

Try flowers! Its the easiest way!

If you know someone in Cali, you can get 36 long stem roses for someting closer to $20... or if you use the internet... $45 like WFC said.

Remember Colombianas are not from the moon... they are human beings (actually, they are manufactured in assembly lines like Utopiacowboy and I are trying to tell people... but since no one listens, just pretend they are unique human beings with unique feelings). So, since this girl is unique, no one really knows what she wants except herself.

Remember, Colombian men "srew up" too, so its not like she has never been angry at a guy before. Just try your best, tell her you are sorry (again, flowers work good) and go from there.

Dave

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N2Aquatix says on Jun 6, 2005, 12:59:

Benefit From It Use this opportunity to improve your spanish skills. I made a good old fashioned "American at ss" of myself a couple of times early on in my relationship. I got on the computer and translated what I wanted to say, then I called her up and told her in spanish. I simply said something along the lines of, "I love you. Please forgive me for being an idiot. I'll never be perfect, but I'll try to keep these things to a minimum." Women know that men are idiots, it's expected behavior. Get down on your knees and do your duty accordingly. If you play your cards right, you can actually benefit from this situation. Some at ssholes never apologize. At least you'll be disinguishing yourself from this type of person. ;)

Jay

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N2Aquatix says on Jun 6, 2005, 13:34:

Also keep this in mind: if the crime was insignificant or unintentional and she doesn't forgive you then you don't really need to be with her anyway. People make mistakes. It's a part of life. If she can't except this then she is immature.

Jay

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daver says on Jun 6, 2005, 14:26:

"People make mistakes. It's a part of life."

That's why they put erasers at the end of pencils.

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TioJoe says on Jun 6, 2005, 14:37:

Make Peace Send her mother the flowers and dad a bottle of Crown Royal -- they will convince her to give you a second chance -- send her a gold necklace or some other nice gift - don't be cheap ---- It worked for me --- Twice.

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Tinto (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jun 6, 2005, 15:36:

Take a beer bottle, hit N2Aquatix on the head, steal his debit card. $300,000 COP per week ought to buy you a lot of forgiveness. ;-)

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pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2005, 00:06:

Elwits Pretsley says on Jun 7, 2005, 00:51:

she will never forgive you, colombian girls hold their grudges forever.
Better: look for another girl and dont make the same mistake again.

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Elwits Pretsley says on Jun 7, 2005, 02:23:

yea rufus,
wimin are like elephants, they never forget, only thing: they are missing the trunk lmaoooo.

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2retirensa says on Jun 7, 2005, 05:28:

What is wrong with me? I never thought of holding out for flowers, diamonds (Kat1- I like your idea the best!), or gold necklaces. Once a guy gave a sincere apology, I forgave and forgot, moved on in the relationship! NOW I find out I could have upped the ante! To late for me, but maybe not for the rest of you.
Maureen

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treeshark2 says on Jun 7, 2005, 09:01:

Depends What did you do ?? Thats makes a big difference.

Were you running around with other chicas?? Then you say you did not think that she was really interested in you and now you realise that you were wrong. Blame it on the communication problems.

At least tell her that you are sorry and ask her to email you if she will forgive you. Then just leave her alone. If she has any interest in you, you will hear from her again. Might take 3 to 18 months. I seem to do much better when I make them come back to me, even if it was my fault.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:05:

In Colombia, a guy DOES NOT need to be forgiven for anything. Just keep in mind, there are 10 colombianas for every guy, outta those guys discard the broke ass modefoques (many there) and the dark indian/black modefoque like me (colombianas love only white guys) and you’re a left with 10,125 women for every guy. She should be kissing the ground you walk on and lambiando your pasty white ass every time you take a dump.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Rubiazo says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:16:

how did a portuguese word get in modefoque's post?

maybe she's mad at him because she found out he's really a broke ass modefoque after all!

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:07:

I was going to tell you to kick her to the curb but then Elmo came in and in his inimitable Elmo style told you to do the same thing.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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greenday says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:22:

damn Elmo's on a roll...I love it!!

Can't wait to get back to Colombia in a few weeks!!

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DCShoeCo says on Jun 7, 2005, 12:35:

Why are you wasting your time ¨attempting to court¨ a girl you can´t communicate with in a different country? You are only prolonging your agony.

Chalk this up to a learning experience and forget her. Learn Spanish, travel, go to the gym, take up a sport, buy a cool camera and take up photography, learn to cook, practice your social skills. Stop ¨courting¨ women. It doesn´t work. Instead, improve yourself and your life to the point that women start courting you.

You have lots of other women to look forward to. Losing this one is actually the kick in the ass you need to get motivated. Good luck.

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Baelzar says on Jun 7, 2005, 14:03:

I'm unwilling to "move on" at this point.

Really, it is quite easy to suggest I forget her from outside the situation. Believe me, I wouldn't be asking advice from relative strangers were I in the emotional position to move on.

I'm taking some of the advice presented here; I will write a letter and have it translated (by a helpful member of this community) and follow up with a ton of roses in a couple of weeks.

All I can do is apologize. The rest is up to her.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2005, 14:54:

Jesus, even when I only knew 5 words of Spanish, I wasn't getting anyone to translate anything to or from my wife. What is the point of a relationship with intermediaries? Do you have to get a translator in the sack with you too? There is no future in any relationship where the parties cannot communicate.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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lpdiver says on Jun 7, 2005, 18:29:

I'm with cowboy My wife knew few words of English and I knew few words of Spanish but after three weeks I knew what I wanted. Do your homework and insist that she do hers. I managed to get my point across quite eloquently somehow according to my wife.

And to the persons who bemoans why/how any idiot can possiblly fall in love with someone that they cannot speak with fluently I say...It is a joy and a pastime learning to speak my wifes language and her mine. It IS work and because it is work we take special care to express and translate our thoughts.

For Angela and I the language barrier has brought us together rather than keeping us apart and we do truly appreciate one an other.

Tony

"cook some rice!"

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Lionheart says on Jun 7, 2005, 19:32:

I agree lpdiver teaching each other and learning from each other can be very good for communications and understanding, plus learning the bedroom language can be extremely interesting. Better than watching stupid TV.

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BxUnika says on Jun 7, 2005, 19:53:

My God... "Jesus, even when I only knew 5 words of Spanish, I wasn't getting anyone to translate anything to or from my wife. What is the point of a relationship with intermediaries? Do you have to get a translator in the sack with you too? There is no future in any relationship where the parties cannot communicate."

Honestly. What is it?

"Ay, papi, damelo mas fuerte. Ay, que rico!"

*pulls out Franklin pocket translator*

Give me a break. I am a blunt person and sometimes that hurts and I get called four-letter words, but listen:

I'm sorry. Put yourself in the place of the reader here. You are a guy who can't speak Spanish who thinks he is in love with a girl who is almost 2,000 miles away who can't speak English. Relationship? What relationship? You are living in a fantasy world right along with all these other gringos on here who think they are in love with someone they met over the internet or maybe can't even understand.

I think many of you suffer from extremely low self-esteem that you have to go looking for people on other continents who you can't even communicate with in order to feel adequate. Maybe not you in particular, but I keep reading how much better, prettier, smarter, more sensual, etc. Colombian women are and even how "gringas" are not. Could it be that the problem is YOU? Could it be that these women put up with guys are are twice their age, morbidly obese guys, guys who live thousands of miles away, etc. because you guys = green card, money, gifts, etc.? Nooooo, never that. I also think it's pretty ignorant to think that Colombians are some freaks of nature who need to be handled with kid gloves and who you think demand weird, complicated, or otherwise patronizing treatment in order to feel "at home".

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smoothing says on Jun 7, 2005, 20:14:

words or roses? if you give roses every time you make a mistake,that can get expensive.words last longer than roses.every time you screw up...you always have words.....right???learn how to relay your messages.dont use a 3rd party to get out of it.nothing beats a failure but a try.

SMOOTHING

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lpdiver says on Jun 7, 2005, 20:31:

Baelzar You can't forget her and your not willing to...Screw practicality and get your ass to Cali. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If she wants nothing to do with you when you show up...replace her. You cannot MAKE her love you. Give it your best shot. No fear and no regrets.

Tony

"cook some rice!"

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2005, 21:15:

Hooking up with a Colombian was just pure luck on my part. I'd have to say I'm the luckiest guy on the planet. I don't have any problems with gringas or women in general - having had relationships with Americans, Canadians, Mexicans... It's all good pero mi esposa es la mejor.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Lionheart says on Jun 7, 2005, 21:30:

what does this have to do with a Colombiana? you screwed up your relationship with a woman, if she could speak English or be a purple people eater, who cares? Language per se isn't the issue here.

Get your ass to her feet and beg her for forgiveness, that works in any language, or it doesn't. At least you proved that you tried. Sending flowers is cheap, writing words or saying them from far away isn't much better. Fall on your knees and beg ...

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greenday says on Jun 8, 2005, 03:43:

BxUnika great post and I agree 100%

lpdiver, I think you and Utopia are the exceptions rather than the rule when it comes to successful relationships when there is a huge language barrier.

Baelzar, forget about this girl...I doubt if she'll forgive you...most of these girls get tired very quickly of the problems due to the language and distance problems. This girl, if she is pretty, has many Colombianos chasing her, and all of this probably isn't worth it to her.

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N2Aquatix says on Jun 8, 2005, 07:27:

Tinto Geez Tinto, did you think that 300,000 COP a week is all that's on the card? Who the h#ll do you work for??? That wouldn't even pay my phone bill! LMAO!!!

Jay

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 8, 2005, 13:23:

I agree, Greenday, and I think what differentiates me and Tony is that even though we began with a language barrier, we worked our asses off to learn Spanish. While I was courting my wife, I was listening to the radio and tv in Spanish 24x7 and spending hours every day chatting back and forth in Spanish. Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship and I couldn't imagine being married to someone if we couldn't joke and talk and fool around verbally. I think too many guys use translators as crutches - you gotta get on that bicycle and ride even if you fall off and scrape yourself up.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Sonny says on Jun 8, 2005, 15:34:

greenday Why would you tell someone to forget it and move on?? It is like telling someone not to try to make a good thing work. A relationship is hard work. Any relationship worth having is worth working for. My fiance does not speak English any better then I speak Spanish/ I bought her a good dictionary, and we talk every day of the week by phone. Good english/Spanish no matter. We also communicate by Internet. It has a good translator on it and all is well. I understand Spanish better now and her English is better but we both worked on it and so should he. All of our paperwork is approved and in Bogota and soon we will know that all of our trying, misunderstandings, poor communication was all worth it because we love each other. You made the statement that "Men fall in love with what a woman looks like" Let me say this to you. No amount of beauty in the world can hide an ugly personality. Maybe you had a bad experience who knows. Maybe it was the music without words that did it.

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greenday says on Jun 8, 2005, 17:50:

Sonny I'm glad to hear that your relationship is working, and also glad to see that you are making a great effort to learn Spanish.

Look, these two have NEVER met, can't communicate, and already are having problems. It's not that I have had a bad experience, it's just that I have too much experience with Colombian women to know how they think and feel about these long distance relationships. Here are two people that are off to a very bad start, this guy hasn't even met her in person, has no way of communicating with her, and through all of this he did something so major that pissed her off, and now he wants to salvage this "relationship". I just feel like the girl probably doesn't want to "salvage" this "relationship", because, what is there to salvage???
No my friend,as I said, I didn't have a bad experience, it's just that I know how these women think about gringos that can't speak spanish, and how fast they are to give up on them, especially when they finally meet some gringos that CAN speak Spanish, or on the other hand, when they finally give in to the Colombiano who has been hitting on them every other day for the last two years. Please don't buy into the fact that these girls hate Colombian men and don't go out with them. They will get tired of dealing with the gringos after awhile and end up with a Colombiano.

As far as looks and personality goes, I agree...but answer me this: what was it that made you attracted to your girl initially?? If she's reading this you had better say her BEAUTY...if not, you're going to have to be the next gringo to ask advice on this forum on how to get a colombian girl to forgive you.

BTW: In my heart of hearts I hope I'm wrong and this Colombian girl forgives Baelzar...but, I just thought I'd give him some advice, and it's free!

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toneloc24 says on Jun 8, 2005, 19:17:

Wait a sec You haven't met this chick in person? If such is the case, you got a lot of advice for what really IS a no-brainer decision. Walk away now!

Listen to the advice given along these lines.

I've made my dumb mistakes with Colombianas in the past. Each mistake is a learning experience for the next relationship. Too many other options available to put up with an attitude, now.

Showing such weakness (desperation) upfront for someone you do not know, what do you expect in 3 months? A humble housewife? Begging wreaks of desperation. How attractive is that?

It's not about your heart, it's about your nuts. Grow some. She will never respect you if you show none upfront.

Apologize one more time, tell her that you're coming down to Cali in July or whenever. See what her response is. If the disinterest continues, drop her like it's hot. Bright side, you'll be in Cali and she can easily be replaced by other hot chicks.

Now go learn Spanish.

"PBH is dead!!!!"

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Baelzar says on Jun 9, 2005, 08:49:

Holy crap... Where'd you get the impression we'd never met in person?

I spent two weeks with her before she flew back home. Managed to fuck up on the last day.

LOVE some of the "advice" I'm receiving here. Lot of people here like to hear themselves rant. I'm sure it's all well-intended. Shya-right.

Thanks to the sincere advisors.

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greenday says on Jun 9, 2005, 12:10:

I guess it's when you said you didn't know each other very well...sorry, my bad...so you spent 2 weeks with her and you don't know her very well???...
BTW; my advice is sincere...if you don't want the advice then don't ask...

Learn spanish is my advice...any problem with that???

plus, quit behaving so desperately...latin women can see right through that...

plus, the fact that you have to ask a question like the one above kind of shows you're lacking in several areas...

now, I'm starting to rant...any problem with that??

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quindioman says on Jun 9, 2005, 12:30:

follow your intuition.....love is blind so don't bother trying to think about this rationally.
TioJoe dropped a jewel when he said give something to the parents.....in Colombia if you want to court a girl you have to win her parents first.
Failing that try flowers and or the mariachi (I know a lot of women say this is a no-no but it depends on the girl....i sent some mariachis to my GF's birthday a couple of weeks ago and the poor girl ended up in tears she was so emotional).
Give it another shot....at leat you would have tried.

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caslug says on Jun 9, 2005, 12:43:

actually, most of the advice here makes sense.. And as greenday and other posters mention, now that's she's back in cali AND if she's a hottie/attractive, she'll be have tons of locals guys hitting on her. AND when women are sad/pissed because of some guy, they tend to be VERY vulernable to other guys making pass at them.

Especially when locals guys play the "you-can-cry-on-my-shoulder" line PLUS since they're local they can hang with her for TWO STRAIGHT WEEKS!! Homecourt advantage BABY!! So unless you can get your ass down there ASAP, don't be suprise if some local gets some "loving" just for listening to her problems. In the US, we called that getting rebound action...

Good news is that if you decide to learn little spanish and visit Cali, you'll have a great time in cali. WITH or WITHOUT HER!

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