PBH / colombia (active forums more | travelguide | pictures) / post

 

How to avoid kissing the wrong people...

Leaving for my first trip to Colombia, what is the proper way to greet people? Shake hands? High fives? Do I initiate a kiss on the cheek to every woman I meet? Or do I say "hi" and let them kiss me if they want? How about meeting elderly folks? Kids?

By Ryan2000 on Jan 14, 2008, 08:42 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


kentuckygreg2 says on Jan 14, 2008, 08:45:

If she's hot wink at her and kiss her on the cheek... then smack her on the rear. :)


I always just said when greeting anyone. "BUENAS"

Love and happiness!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

msaucey says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:06:

You picked up the vibe... Normally it would be a soft hand shake followed by a kiss to the left cheek...

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Albatross says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:08:

mucha lengua

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

0 funny, 0 helpful.

LilaM says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:13:

I suggest:

1. If you meet a guy hand shaking and say Buenos Dias, tardes o noches
2. If is a lady or and person older that you, stand up and extend the hand for the first time.
3. If is the second time and you are " friends " you can kiss her on the cheek.. only once, two kisses is hard to handle maybe you miss her cheek ;).
4. Don´t give kisses to the maid, is not very well seen here.... sometimes that happen but NO don´t do it.
5. Remember with guys no kisses at all, just a hug (friends of family in law) and hand shaking.
6. Always say thank you... gracias
Please .... por favor
You look pretty.... estas muy bonita.
I hope it helps....
7. If you are going to a dinner, lunch or breakfast ask the lady first..... and please, i beg you, please never ever, .... after eating please don´t pick your teeth

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

0 funny, 0 helpful.

morphus says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:16:

". Don´t give kisses to the maid, is not very well seen here.... "

Thats more reason to do it. I love pissing off Colombians :)

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Albatross says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:19:

In formal situations, you will be well-remembered if you graciously extend your hand and say "me gusta tu cuerpo".

I hope it helps...

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

0 funny, 0 helpful.

LilaM says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:23:

jajajajaj that´s silly

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

0 funny, 0 helpful.

britabroad says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:26:

When shaking hands with the novias hot cousin, gently tickle the palm of her hand with your middle finger and smile at her.

Leave the big stick at home...carry a cannon!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

LilaM says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:27:

Britabroad that is not the best way to tell that ejjeje

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

0 funny, 0 helpful.

morphus says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:28:

I remember at the clubs, I used to go up to the girls and sniff their crotches. Now, i'm a lot more civilised :)

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:37:

morp what type of smell were you looking for?

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

RUV says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:41:

Careful Morph,

You may get more then you expected. Check it out.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/teeth/

0 funny, 0 helpful.

LilaM says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:44:

too much information RUV

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Sebastian says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:46:

LilaM,

What's wrong with using a toothpick after a meal? Every restaurant has them and my dentist says that they are the best way to keep you gums healthy. If you or any other broad got offended if I toothpicked my teeth after a particularly meaty meal that would be the last time I ate with you.

pickin' n grinin'

Sebas

0 funny, 0 helpful.

LilaM says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:47:

well is very bad taste...... guacala.... go to the bath room and do it alone, omg horrible

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Tinto (Moderator) says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:49:

In general, Colombia remains a very traditional country. When meeting a man, it's best to lift up his loincloth and firmly grasp his testicles. When meeting a woman, stick your nose and face between her breasts (all adult women are topless) and rapidly shake your head from side to side while mumbling something unintelligible.

If these traditional methods don't win friends, I'd suggest following Lila's advice.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:51:

Picking your teeth after a dinner date, at a table, would be up there with picking your nose or cleaning your ears. Like LilaM said, just go to the bathroom. Or take a 2 minute walk. Same thing if you have to fart.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:53:

i always kiss the maids, not only that, they are the only ones gettin gifts from me. others in the house, MONDA!!! UN CULO!!!

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

msaucey says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:56:

LOL... GIB... You are definately a chick-magnet.... Now you've told us your trick....

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:57:

a couple years ago i had this hot young hooker, all i did was kiss her shoulder and she nearly popped off.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:58:

i had to tell her to fokin wait for me

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2008, 09:58:

i gotta take off my pants first

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

RUV says on Jan 14, 2008, 10:43:

LilaM,

Sorry, I had nothing to do with the making of this movie.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Jan 14, 2008, 10:48:

GIB, you are into transvestites? I have never licked a girl's adams apple. I thought dudes only had those. Jajaja

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Albatross says on Jan 14, 2008, 10:52:

R.I.P. ... this poor little post just didn't have a chance.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Jan 14, 2008, 11:17:

I don't know what you call it, outside of the medical term (larynx).

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

morphus says on Jan 14, 2008, 11:21:

How about kissing girls before you figure out they are hookers? You can even have sex with a girl in Colombia before finding out she is a hooker. Be careful!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Ryan2000 says on Jan 14, 2008, 11:39:

LilaM, thanks for the advice... The rest of you guys are trying to get me killed!!! But I am taking notes, while in Manizales I'll keep an eye out for men with loincloths, women with adam's apples and I won't touch the maid!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2008, 11:42:

ryan, one look at you and them colombianitas from the interior are gonna be all culecas.
don't worry about a thing

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Jan 14, 2008, 12:08:

The Mrs. had a bad dream last week, that she caught me in bed with a maid when we were living in Colombia. I told her, "I wish that I had had that dream!" Not one of my best attempts at trying to make her feel better.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kentuckygreg2 says on Jan 14, 2008, 13:21:

You may be one of the few gringos in Manizales. hence, hot commodity. :)

Funny story...I remember in Cartagena this chick kept telling me I look like Keifer Sutherland. I was like well I guess so. Then her friend thought my friend looked like Jim Carrey. I about keeled over laughing. The chicks I guess thought the Jim Carrey comment was a compliment. My friend didn't particularly care for the comment. LOL.

Love and happiness!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

diabloblas says on Jan 14, 2008, 16:29:

i don't kiss anyone...only interested in short chicas

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mr. Hollywood says on Jan 14, 2008, 20:00:

GIB, here's the way to figure out if they're trannies. While you're down there kissing a girl's adam's apple, check for stubble. If she's got 5 O'Clock shadow, it's confirmed. No need for the package check.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

CatGirl says on Jan 14, 2008, 21:02:

This thread is a crack up!

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

0 funny, 0 helpful.

msaucey says on Jan 14, 2008, 21:09:

Well, If Ryan cyphers through all the various advise he's got a 50/50 chance of getting killed or impressing a tranny.... Once again, PBH community chimes in and helps out....

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis

0 funny, 0 helpful.

CatGirl says on Jan 14, 2008, 21:33:

This is a test, this is a test by the PBH commentary section, this is Only a test. If this was an actual emergency you would have already been notified my the proper authorities, tied up and ducted (sp) taped to a chair ...Again this is only a test jajaja

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

0 funny, 0 helpful.

msaucey says on Jan 14, 2008, 21:42:

Proper authorities being African Royalty with $10 Million Dollars in the bank.... If you haven't received a letter by this time, then you've failed the PBH test...

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis

0 funny, 0 helpful.

gold digger says on Jan 14, 2008, 22:22:

If in doubt, try the Crocodile Dundee grab. If you feel nothing, proceed.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

More posts by the same author:

Tourist visa services at DAS office in Armenia? 10

drinking water in Colombia 16


Americas:

Mexico

Cuba

Colombia (travelguide)

Venezuela

Ecuador

Brazil

Bolivia

Peru

Chile

Argentina

Africa:

Kenya

Congo

Malawi

South Africa

Asia:

China

Japan

India

Nepal

Thailand

Laos

Cambodia

Vietnam

Malaysia

Indonesia

Philippines

 

Travel:

Travelguide writers

Travelicious

Travel with kids

Around the world trips

Learn travel Spanish

Off topic: your thing

Also:

All forums

Travelers

If you're not a part of this travelicious experiment just yet, just sign up here. It's free & easy.

 

About poorbuthappy | About the travel guides | Travel guide editing | Community rules | RSS feeds

This site in other languages:
Spanish | French | Catalan | Chinese | Filipino | Greek | German | Hebrew | Japanese | Korean | Polish | Portuguese | Russian

© 1998 - 2008 Peter Van Dijck, all rights reserved.