I was recently married in Cali, Colombia on May 17, 2005. Just about the time I was preparing to assemble the papers to obtain a visa my new wife began demanding that I send her money - lots of money. I refused and she became angry and insulting. I decided that the relationship was a sham and that now I want a divorce. How do I go about getting one? Is this a difficult process?

Posted on June 20, 2005


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WOW!! A marriage with a Colombiana lasting only a month.. That's the shortest I've heard of.



Anyway, depending on the type of marriage, you could probably go back to the authorities that performed it and inquire there. Good luck

Posted on June 20, 2005


You got married in Cali without inviting me? Anyway, have you thought about just changing your phone number and ignoring the situation? That's what I would do.



If that doesn't work, laws are being passed today which should take affect in about a month, simplifying a divorce in Colombia. In the mean time, try contacting a Colombian attorney. My Calena wife suggests the Miami yellow pages for a Colombian practicing in the U.S. I'm assuming that the U.S. is where you live.



You can also just send her some money. Surely you didn't expect to get off scot free? She had expectations which are apparently different from yours. Find out how much she really needs. Maybe it's not that much. Good luck. John

Posted on June 20, 2005


Actually you could be like plenty of gringoes and just lose contact with her. What's she gonna do? Track you down in the US?

Posted on June 20, 2005


Just cut off your nuts and pop them in the mail to her.

Posted on June 20, 2005


I agree with UC I'd just pretend the marriage never happened...unless of course you want to go back to Colombia and marry ANOTHER Colombiana (I'd advise against it)...

sorry to hear about your problems...

Posted on June 20, 2005


I wonder when gringos will realize that most colombian woman want a one way ticket our of colombia or they want money.



I know that some are not like that but gringos should carefully examine the situation before heading to the alter. Dating the girl and getting to know her may help before the legal shit happens.

Posted on June 20, 2005


We'll realize it about the same time that they realize we want sex on request 24x7.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Well said Utopia. Money and sex, a match made in ...



This hot 18 year old Caleña just loves me for who I am a fat balding 70 year old gringo who lives in Podunk Arkansas. Yeah right.



Just like you chose her because of brains.



Disclaimer: I know this doesn't apply to anyone on PBH. Just on those TV specials. Your name is M-A-R-I-A, drool drool.. ja ja

Posted on June 20, 2005


American and Colombian women are not a good match. Go date Canadians next time...

Posted on June 20, 2005


Problem would be that Canada is far different from Colombia and most Canadian girls wouldn't want to live in the states.



We have a lot of sugar daddys here so we don't need to marry an american guy for money.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Colombian divorce Just sell the burra to the next farm over.

Posted on June 20, 2005


"We'll realize it about the same time that they realize we want sex on request 24x7."



I hope you're joking. If not, you're indirectly calling your wife a whore. I seriously hope that you don't expect her to give you sex on request because you give her money and support her.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Sylvie I think UC was being sarcastic

Posted on June 20, 2005


oops sorry. it is hard to note sarcasm when reading it in text.



and Canadians aren't big on sarcasm so i'm not used to it.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Soy canadiense tambien Soy canadiense

Posted on June 20, 2005


candian women.. I've actually meet a few Candians women that WANTED/NEED to marry american guys to stay. But this was back when the US Dollar was stronger, hence better income potential in the US..



Slyvie, just wait till our dollar rebounds and gain strenght again. Then you'll see more CAD women/men want to marry americans.



Keif.. it could've been worse.. at least she didn't do it in the USA. You should thank her for jumping the gun.

Posted on June 20, 2005


"Slyvie, just wait till our dollar rebounds and gain strenght again. Then you'll see more CAD women/men want to marry americans."



Maybe you're right. But I suppose its one type of girl who would do that. I find that it is rather easy to get a US visa when you get a job....and that can only happen when you have a bachelors or masters degree.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Kieferton--it can be done for a "Price"(show them the $$$) But I Think it helps if you are there in Colombia. Everything is posible for the "Fee". In 1995 I knew of a guy in Bogota who married in like 7 days(not too smart-knew the girl a TOTAL of 7 days)).There used to be an Matrimonial Agency(Centro Intercontinental-2 blocks north) by the old US Emsbassy that was owned and operated by Leo Wernli, deceased as of 4 years ago(a swiss who was married to a Clombiana)Leo was in his late 60s at that time and was well "connected" in Bogota. After the 5th day of marriage the guy came to his senses and knew the marriage was a joke so he contacted Leo. Leo made a few phone calls to a couple attornies and for around $400 at that time the marriage ws dissolved within 3 days. No mess, no fuss! Or you could ignore her like some suggest; don't know how this would affect your future travel in and out of Colombia-others more knowledgeable here could tell you. Maybe someone could suggest a good underhanded attorney in Bogota-also there are many here in Miami and some practice in both the US and Col. Good Luck(by the way how did you meet the girl and how long did you know her before marrying her?)

Posted on June 20, 2005


Think about it............. Eyyy think about it, you have been there just one month. Do you think that it is necessary to do that at once???? You just have to let her know that you cant send her all that money, why did you marry her??? whre you in love??? did you really love her or was it just 'cause you wanted to have a colombian with you??? Let me tell the gringos here that not all colombian women are good, you have keep an eye on the person you want to marry with. In Colombia we have all kind of women the one that is looking for love, the one that is looking for money, other that is looking for a visa and etc...... I know people say that colombian women are mmmmmmmm good, excelent, lovely whatever but there is a 25% that are notttttttttt Ok Kieferton maybe she got married 'cause she saw in you her bank accounts, insurance, and a big cow from who she can drink milk whenever she wants good luck!!!!!!! ahhhh and forget about you got married in Colombia and dont get any lawyer......

Posted on June 20, 2005


How i love my Ave Sexta girls after reading this.. I never leave home without my 25$ k-mart wedding band ring. Its works everytime.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Keifer it is Quite simple...you stomp on their foot, spit in their face and say I divorce thee three times.



T

Posted on June 20, 2005


Bless you LPdiver...marry me? Youre a caveman!!! hahahahaha

Posted on June 20, 2005


send me a nude photo and we can talk about it.

Posted on June 20, 2005


You cheap thing!!!! No CV attached? No reccomendation Letter, bank statement or Criminal Record?

Posted on June 20, 2005


You asked me Send the photo...then we talk. JaJAJA non nudes are acceptable too.

Posted on June 20, 2005


"Canadians aren't big on sarcasm so i'm not used to it". You've got to be kidding me. I am Canadian and some Canadians I know are the most sarcastic people around.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Sylvie, every guy pays for sex. Some directly. Some indirectly. The question is where can you get the biggest bang (most bangs?) for your buck?

Posted on June 20, 2005


UC Maybe I don't get sarcasm because I'm from Quebec. ALthough I can detect it by the tone of the person when speaking to them I have a hard time detecting it when reading text. SOrry for the misunderstanding.



Not every guy pays for sex. How do explain the really poor guys who have no money. Live pay check to pay check. They have sex too! I even know some of them. hehehehe

Posted on June 20, 2005


I guess the really poor guys have to beg for it!



Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Posted on June 20, 2005


This is totally off topic but I have a co-worker who lives in the poor part of Montreal. He's not even that good looking, always seems to not take care of himself. He does drugs and therefore spend all his money on them.



I've seen his "girl friends" and they're hot. He is total proof that not all guys pay for sex. :- /

Posted on June 20, 2005


Wouldn't be the first time a chick had sex to get some drugs....

Posted on June 20, 2005


nor the first time a chick was drugged then boinked...

Posted on June 20, 2005


My friend never touched drugs and still boinked him. I dunno what the hell she was thinking.



I must give it to him, despite his being really dirty looking he is quite charming.

Posted on June 20, 2005


The poor guys pay by mowing the lawn, washing the Camaro, fixing the double-wide when it breaks, and putting up with the wife and young uns.

Posted on June 20, 2005


She came highly recommended I began writing to her and calling her in December 2004. A woman that I know here in the States was a friend of the girl for years. She highly recommended that I go meet her. So I did. The girl was very pleasant and was in a business with her brothers and sisters. The same woman that recommended this girl suggested that as a way of bringing her over to the U.S. more quickly (she said it would only take a month or two) I should marry her over there. So I returned 5 weeks later and did it. During this entire time, I paid for everything, the wedding, the food.. you name it, I paid for it. When I returned home the girl said that she needed to go to Ecuador to obtain documents since she had lived there within the last 5 years. More money. Then, she told me that the father of her small child (15 months old) was threatening to come and take the child away from her. She said that she wanted to hide in Cartegena. I was suspicious since her moving might foul up the immigration documents that I was about to prepare. Then I asked her how much she would need to live in Cartegena. She said, "$1,000 dollars per month." I said, "That's too much." She went ballistic. I calmed her down and she seemed okay for a week. Then, the final straw: The girl said that rather than pay me back (During the wedding week I had loaned her brother $2000 dollars to pay some bills. He said that one of his clients hadn't paid their bill and it left him a little cash poor)we should invest the money back into the business. Since I didn't ever expect to see that money again, I said, "sure. Just write me a letter explaining how this process works." She wrote and explained the process, but included the statement, "We need to agree that you'll send me $200 dollars a month for expenses." I was so insulted by this that I immediately began searching for an attorney to end the marriage. Now, you may think that it was a mistake to marry her so soon. Perhaps. But if I hadn't done that, I would never have known how this girl would interpret a marriage license. Obviously, she interpreted it just like an invoice to be paid on demand. For her, a business relationship and a love relationship were the same. If I had waited to get to know her and brought her to the U.S. I would have had a very difficult time getting her out of my life. Somehow, I saved myself some grief by marrying her up front. I learned that I didn't want a relaionship with her. By the way, the two trips to Colombia cost me over $11,000 dollars. What an experiment!

Posted on June 20, 2005


ouch Kieferton. That sucks, i dont think id blow 11000 on someone I dont really know, let alone marry her!!! but then again some people just work differently...Good luck on your divorce and well, dont judge all colombian girls from this experience you had, youll just have to be a little bit more picky and marry someone you know, not someone whos been "recommended", that sounds a little corporate to me hahaha.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Abandonment The Colombian legal system has a word for an American just walking away from a marriage to a Colombian woman. It's called abandonment. The girl can sue at some future date and while I don't know to what extent the consequences are, it sounds bad. I was strongly advised not to "just walk away." I didn't get off scot free. I loaned her brother $2000 dollars to resuscitate the business that she has 25% ownership in. I also paid for everything while I was there, which totalled more than $11,000 dollars. When she demanded $200 dollars per week from me, I decided that it was time to end the "business" relationship, since love was never a part of it. Tell me more about these new laws that will simplify the divorce process.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Kieferton Well I wouldn't jump out a window yet as she has a greater problem than you as she lives in Colombia and you don't. When she wants to marry another man then she will have to obtain the divorce. My best guess is that it would cost you about US$1000 to obtain a divorce and/or annullment maximum and maybe (if you are lucky) half that amount. I saw a simular situation a few years back and the woman ended up having to process the divorce and her gringo husband never set foot in Colombia again (after the marriage).

Posted on June 20, 2005


I'm with Viewpoint on this one. She has bigger problems than you do. My wife tells me plenty of gringos have gotten married in Colombia and gone back to the US and the Colombiana didn't even know where the guy lived or how to get in touch with him. The cards are in your favor now - play them.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Skipping town I don't know much about Colombia, but in Costa Rica, the burden of divorce always seemed to be on the woman, more than the man. There seemed to be little incentive for the men to get a divorce: few wanted to remarry and most had no problem finding other chicas to keep the warm at night. I was under the (perhaps naive) impression most of L.A. was like this.



In any case, I think the universal advice applies in this situation, once you want out, hire an attorney (or a "fixer" as the case may be) and see what it will cost (then find another one for a second opinion). Once you decide to break it off, STOP SENDING ANY MONEY. Sure it sounds like the noble thing to do, but usually it doesn't count for squat and just makes you poorer. If they are going to think ill of you anyway, why continue to finance them?

Posted on June 20, 2005


Ouch!! Man I feel your PAIN all the here in Miami, N.Cuba. $11,000 Smackers! I would agree with the other posters about retaining a good Divorce Attorney.Unless you never wanted to enter Colombia again.Always Brazil, Argentina ect. jaja Please whatever you do, don't send a Dime to some woman you know in this manner. A miami friend send money to a COl. woman he met this way(he never knew her really well)she stated "Need $250 monthly for my sick mom-for nursing services--Trouble, mom was fine the Chica used the Moola to pay for her MC Credit Bill.100s of like cases in COl. Please don't SEND MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on June 20, 2005


They are laughing at you.... It is obvious that your wife and her family had an agenda to separate you from your money for their gain. Whoever recommended your wife to you did not have your best interests at heart.



You are not the first, and wont be the last gringo to find himself in similar situations. There are many stories much worse than yours. I know of one who lost his canadian home to his dominican wife. Long story short, he met her in the Dom Rep, promptly married her, imported her and her daughter to Canada. The honeymoon was short lived and her true intentions came out.



You should examine the risks of abandoning her versus legally divorcing her. If the risks of tolerable, dont waste and dollar on her. Simply cut her off.

Posted on June 20, 2005


you're in cali, right?..... got a gun? keep it easy.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Kieferton.....you are something else Man, I don't know what kind of work you do, but I just for the life of me can't understand how you did not figure this out earlier. Let me put it this way, a lot of foreign woman sucker a man, sweet talk a man, use their sexuality, and sex, to get a guy to marry her and bring her here for papers or just a better life. But I have never heard of woman who seemed like a bitch/puta from the begining, and the guy still stuck around to flood her with more money.



Was she that hot?

Was she that good?



Did you just arrive here from another planet? But for the fact that you story is such a sad one, and you have been ripped off severely, I am inclined to say you deserve what you got. As they say, fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three or four or five times, then I am the big fool again and again



What is this nonsense about you being unable to walk away because she can sue you at a future date and you don't know what the consequences are? What the hell are you talking about? She is there and you are here. No Colombian court can do anything to you in the US. You have no assets there. Except for the ones you put in her pocket. The court may have jurisdiction over you to the extent that you were married in Colombia. But, they can do absolutley NOTHING that would affect you financially. Nothing. They cdertainly can grant her a divorce, which is something that she invariably would want once realizing she could no longer sucker you for more money. As viewpoint and UC says, the cards are in you hand. She can't married again unless she divorces you. So forget about her.



And while you are at it, honestly Kieferton, go get counseling to find out why you did such a crazy thing...and continued to send her money over a period of time, so that you never do something so crazy again.



I have a feeling that unless you fully understand why you did what you did, I will bet the barn that you will do the same thing or something similar again. Sorry

Posted on June 20, 2005


Oh, and when she wants a divorce tell her to send you $2000 USD for your attorney expenses. ;-)

Posted on June 20, 2005


Actually thats mostly the case:
Poor Colombian woman with kidz marries (hopefully) rich white guy.

Many here in this forum are asking about how to marry in Colombia.
Many are later disappointed.

Kieferton, that happens just too often in Colombia. Nothing new.

My advise: Dont marry.

CA
Montañas de Colombia

Posted on June 20, 2005


Kernow, I would reprresent yo Kernow, I would represent you first to make sure that I do the job right!

Posted on June 20, 2005


Condorliza I think it is Ok for the guy to Marry, but for goodnes sakes, make sure you really know the person you are marrying. That rule applies when you are marrying someone from the same culture. That rule appliew all the more (a lot more) when you are mailing someonw from another culture.....

Posted on June 20, 2005


If I ever get divorced G5 I will call you. I really only want my stereo and music, camera, some books and computers so I can probably forgo the attorney.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Trust me... Even if that's all you want, having a good (or even just a competent) attorney will be a worthwhile investment.

Posted on June 20, 2005


Wait Kernow....what about the radio station and travel agency You shouldn't be thinking about what she is going to take from you. How about thinking about what intersts you may have in some of her assets.....Oh I forgot about the Yacht. Are you going to give her that too?

Posted on June 20, 2005


How did you know about our yacht that we keep moored in St. Pete? Have you been spying?

Posted on June 20, 2005