(Here's an Article from today's MSN) for All You Ol' Pasty G's.... Buscando por Colombianas Muy Joven:
Dating a younger woman
By Michael Kramer
Have you ever seen an older man dating a much younger woman and thought to yourself, “Oh, yeah. I know why they’re together”?
Well, maybe you don’t. Because I thought I knew, too—until I became one of those older men.
Katie and I met last year, when I was 41 and she was… here goes: 22. As in, one year over the legal drinking age. Contrary to the jokes my friends made, I did not meet Katie while I was buying Girl Scout cookies or waiting outside a junior high. Katie and my friend Joel are co-workers, and we met at one of his parties. We hit it off right away.
Obviously, there was an age gap, but at first, neither of us realized how much. Thankfully, it’s still considered rude to ask someone’s age when you first meet them. (The older I get, the more I appreciate that bit of social etiquette.)
Now, before you dismiss me as some old geezer trying to rationalize dating someone nearly half his age, let me just add that she asked me out. And, as luck would have it, I have this little policy that when fun, attractive women ask me out, I say yes.
What other people were saying about us…
The second we began dating, though, my friends started in with the jokes. They ranged from mild teasing (“Is she impressed that you have a car?” and “Are you sure she’s not just using you to buy her alcohol?” and “Which is her favorite Teletubby?”) to outright hostility (“What the at #?!&$ are you doing?!”).
The best was when they’d run the numbers. “When you were her age, she was in diapers!” and “Do you realize you’re closer in age to her mother than you are to her?” and “When she’s your age, you’ll be 61!” But despite what my friends were saying, Katie’s friends were saying worse. They had reduced her to a gold-digger and me to a drooling, aged sugar daddy. I repeatedly dismissed their comments, believing instead that given my genuine connection with Katie, our age difference didn’t really matter.
The difference a yearbook made
Until, that is, Katie showed me her high-school yearbook… from 2002! Her yearbook is dedicated to the victims of 9/11. (Did I mention she graduated in 2002?!) It was the first time I had ever looked through a yearbook and couldn’t mock the hair and clothes as being out of date.
In my high school yearbook, kids are wearing shirts from REO Speedwagon and the J. Geils Band concerts. Katie’s classmates are wearing shirts that said Eminem and The White Stripes. It made me wonder whether everyone was right and I did have issues. Was I going through a midlife crisis? Was it true that all men have creepy fantasies about dating women half their age?
“Am I having a midlife crisis?”
But the more I thought about it, the more I felt sure that age wasn’t a factor in my dating choices. I mean, it’s not like I have a pattern of dating much younger women. My previous girlfriends were all around my age.
It turns out Katie had been wracking her brain, too, trying to figure out whether she had daddy issues. But prior to me, she had only dated guys within her age range. Ultimately, we came to realize that what people were saying revealed more about them than about us. Our relationship had become a Rorschach test of their own prejudices and insecurities—and of our culture’s preconceptions about what my mom politely refers to as “May-December romances.”
The truth is, the older I get, the more shocked I am to be my age. It’s as though time kept moving forward, and I simply didn’t notice. When I hear an oldies station play “Start Me Up,” to me, that’s a new Rolling Stones’ song. But in other ways, I feel far surer of myself than I did at 21. And if age has taught me anything, it’s that life is too short to miss the opportunity of being with someone you like just because society makes assumptions about your relationship.
After six months of dating, Katie and I split up. While I’ll admit that age did play a part — some lack of compatibility had to do with being at different stages in our lives — it was less of a factor than the issues similar-aged couples face, like differences in personalities and religion. In the end, unlike the salacious explanations our friends gave, we started dating for the right reasons and ultimately broke up for the right reasons.
So the next time you see an older man with a younger woman or an older woman with a younger man walking by on the street and you’re trying to figure out why they’re together, remember: They might actually just like each other. (Or, of course, he might actually be her dad.)
Michael Kramer is an Emmy-nominated writer in Los Angeles.
By goin_south on Jul 27, 2007, 16:30 in Friendly Talkzone.
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scotty says on Jul 27, 2007, 16:44: you forgot this one " cradle robber" ! Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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summer83 says on Jul 27, 2007, 16:54: Kramer is right. But as a younger woman I have always been attracted to older men..but then I though what if he dies before I do! or gets all old and I have to spend my youth taking care of him and my mom!
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scotty says on Jul 27, 2007, 17:42: oh personal attacks huh? i thought one of the rules at PBH was no personal attacks. I guess that only applys to some of us huh? ok I'll play along with you Eyenthesky. Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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scotty says on Jul 27, 2007, 18:14: TROLL ALERT! Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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christobeldawg says on Jul 27, 2007, 20:25: I am in the middle of the same debate, in my own mind. I tend to prefer women younger than me. not in a perv way or anything, but more in an oldtime traditional way. My granddad was 15 years older than my grandma, and throughout history, this seems to often be the tendency. Women like someone older and wiser, more established, and men like someone younger and more beautiful, and more suitable for having babies. I hope it is still a feasible idea, as most of my prospects are 15 to 20 years younger than me. admittedly, arriving can feel great too 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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jinksmiester says on Jul 27, 2007, 20:48: I think as long as two people are happy together its what really matters.Its really nobody elses business.NOBODY should denie there happiness because someone else is opionionated .That is stupid.I dislike people ...crusaders..who think there ideals and opinions are correct and should be forced on others.Only a fool would try to live his life to try and please others.Adults are adults and if they are happy what right does Anyone have to butt there fat opionated nose in. A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Robert Jorge says on Jul 27, 2007, 21:07: Good post G.S. From a guy married to a woman 14 years younger than himself. I must admit, the only person that has had a problem with the age thing was myself. (I am over that now, jajaja) Nobody really ever gave me a hard time or even kidded around with me. I also never dated anybody more than a few years younger than me in the past. It, our relationship, just kind of happened. It is pretty cool how things work out. He who farts in church, sits in his own pew. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Chelesupercono says on Jul 27, 2007, 21:41: I have dated women as much as 30 years younger then me and had some very good relationships. Alot depends on how you see yourself and how you take care of your health. While it is certainly not always easy it can be very rewarding and alot of fun for both people. I have almost always been the one to end the relationship not the young women. I have tried dating women near my age 54 or even 15 years younger but most of them are as screwed up as a soup sandwich.... never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it....... 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Jul 27, 2007, 21:47: C-supercono.... glad I wasn't sippin on anything damaging to my keyboard! jejeej.... I gotta remember that one: SCREWED UP AS A SOUP SANDWICH :):):))) Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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vladimiro says on Jul 27, 2007, 22:58: That's funny Scotty, I thought you were a teen age kid :)
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Miguel_Clavo says on Jul 27, 2007, 23:07: 2nd childhood maybe? "I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Jul 27, 2007, 23:39: scotty,.... Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
I don't think you look a day over 24 in the pic
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Lostgringo says on Jul 28, 2007, 07:11: I remember seeing something about this issue in another forum. A woman responded saying that men who date women much younger than themselves were in denial and that they were at the bottom end of the gene pool. One man responded. "What is the difference between me wanting a younger woman in my life and most woman wanting a man in their life with money?" I think the first thing I hear from a woman I have just met is "where do you work?" So why not date a younger woman if you want? Life is too short worrying about what others think. Your Home Away from Home www.welovebogota.com and www.apartmentinbogota.com "Luxury apartments and rooms Cheap" Only 2 blocks from the American Embassy! 24/7 hour security.http://www.monsterrakebacks.comCome gamble and get money back! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Lowell says on Jul 28, 2007, 08:15: Me 54, wife 29, (real strong woman) baby 18 months, stepson 11, step neice 5. Lots of work, adaptation and change necessary. Frustrating at times, yes. I'm younger because of it. Like the above my body aged , but mind didn't. Age difference was/is harder on me than her. Reasons for her being with me is like above poster. Sometimes have to pinch myself to assure not dreaming. Have to push her to go out with friends. Was way into water sports and outdoors totally for a long time. Now, body no good for prior sports and I get to have a family life. Have the chance to have the best of both lives. Thank you Colombia for offering that type to acceptance and mindset to be able to do this comfortably and without regret. Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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JohnNewYork says on Jul 28, 2007, 08:34: The above two post are correct. Women are the same everywhere. It's like a US women marrying Donald Trump. Most would? The older man can get a marry most poor colombian women. Her life would be changed for the better. Why not it's a win - win situation. However when she gets to the USA, millions of young Donald Trumps will be after her. I think it's a 90% chance she will be gone within two years. They will be faced with age and race discrimination.
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JohnNewYork says on Jul 28, 2007, 08:37: By the way, America is not very found of Latino people.
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Portena says on Jul 28, 2007, 09:14: Before I married, I dated a few older guys - maybe ten years older at the most. They had a lot of good things going for them but tended toward a controlling attitude which I was not going to put up with for the rest of my life - even if it was the Donald. : p I mostly dated younger men and then married a younger man. Works for me and him, but it's not a huge age difference either. There are some very dysfunctional reasons people get into relationships with huge age differences then again there are very dysfunctional reasons people get into relationships aside from that issue. So I can sgree with Kramer's statement:
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LA_MONA says on Jul 28, 2007, 09:16: Give me an older guy any day... Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Portena says on Jul 28, 2007, 10:04: I had a wonderful business mentor (this was before I met my husband). An older guy I adored for many reasons, but he was married and married has always been off limits as far as I am concerned (even if the guy doesn't give a damn about the vows that were made). So, I am sure there are some great older guys out there too - I just found a wonderful younger guy first. : )
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rumronrum says on Jul 28, 2007, 10:07: hypocrite RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Portena says on Jul 28, 2007, 10:22: RumRonRum - what is that remark about? Are you trying to take a jab at me?? I'm a romantic, and with regard to romance I have high principles and behave in accordance with those principles. Maybe that statement is a Rorschach test of your own issues.
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LA_MONA says on Jul 28, 2007, 10:34: Poteñita it's not directed it at you....don't worry Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rumronrum says on Jul 28, 2007, 10:38: gosh no jab at anyone and I don't even know you nor would I hassel anyone unless they started it ................. just there are a lot of people on this forum that think their way is the only way RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rumronrum says on Jul 28, 2007, 10:42: I really enjoy this forum. Everyone is an expert. Everyone is perfect. Everyone thinks his/her way is the only way. Well, almost everyone............. RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Jul 28, 2007, 11:21: rumron....let it be known; I never claimed to be playin with a FULL DUCK ;) Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rumronrum says on Jul 28, 2007, 11:25: lol and I'm glad some of us have a sense of humor RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Portena says on Jul 28, 2007, 11:29: I do my best to keep promises and abide by contractual agreements whether they are based on high principles or not. ; ) And, for all I know, Rubito's open relationship may be based on high principles. I am in a more traditional relationship and content with that.
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ColombianoGringo (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jul 29, 2007, 10:11: Young girls love pasty, fat and bald old guys. They lust after them just like young guys get all hot and bothered for those Golden Girls.
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ColombianoGringo (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jul 29, 2007, 10:12: Sorry guys. I am just messin' with you. Hey, if you can score AND KEEP a hot young thing and keep her interested then more power to you.
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Portena says on Jul 29, 2007, 10:39: I'm golden, but it's the blonde hair. The "golden" years are pretty far down the road for me. ; )
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rumronrum says on Jul 29, 2007, 11:23: Let's face the facts. Old men can have bella, young, chicas if they have money. Doesn't matter what they look like as long as they have a wallet personality. Its no different here then the rest of the world. Money talks! So you other guys that can't get a young hot chica are probably living on SS and don't have money to spend on fun. Good luck to you with the older women! Get real people, money buys you anything............ RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Miguel_Clavo says on Jul 29, 2007, 11:26: RRR....so, if one of these guys is a hater, then that means they are broke as a joke??? =) "I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rumronrum says on Jul 29, 2007, 11:34: nope just facts of life RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Miguel_Clavo says on Jul 29, 2007, 11:40: That would explain alot of thing, though...jajajja... "I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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JohnNewYork says on Jul 29, 2007, 15:59: It's a simple money = women. I drive a SLR Benz in the USA. I am below average looking and have a big belly. However I date some very hot women in America. If you can afford the $200-$500 dinners and the $10,000 weekend trips you can have any women you want. Colombia is you best choice just promise they marriage and a free trip to the US. I am with a super hot 22 year old chica. We recent spent the week in Cali for about $1,000. If I date that same lady in America I would have spent 10K.
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goin_south says on Jul 29, 2007, 19:32: below average looking and have a big belly??? John, so far, I think you're qualified, by pbh standards (uh, I never heard the term anywhere else).... you're about 2/3rds PASTY GRINGO. (but, aren't you from Afganishtan, ....?) Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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summer83 says on Jul 30, 2007, 13:25: WOW john.
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summer83 says on Jul 30, 2007, 13:29: am I saying all young chicks with old guys are gold diggers? absolutley not. But I am saying for all guys who knowingly date younger woman who want them for their money are more than likely asking for trouble.
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Chelesupercono says on Jul 30, 2007, 13:46: summer I do agree with you but the bottom line is......love don't pay no bills.....dead presidents do however.........and don't forget ben franklin !!! never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it....... 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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chester says on Jul 30, 2007, 18:17: Old Fart sitting on park bench with his grown son:
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christobeldawg says on Jul 30, 2007, 18:50: The ones that seem to work, from my limited observations, are when the younger woman is very mature for her age, for whatever reason. admittedly, arriving can feel great too 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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christobeldawg says on Jul 30, 2007, 18:52: then again, maybe it is just that relationships between emotionally mature people work better regardless of age, or age difference admittedly, arriving can feel great too 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rumronrum says on Jul 31, 2007, 02:39: Answer: Her mama is Old, Fat, and Ugly! RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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scotty says on Aug 3, 2007, 09:49: ok, you are a good looking latina about 28 years old, you live in Colombia, you dont have much money , you come from a family that doesnt have much money, you have always dated these colombianos that have no money, very little to offer the girl, and an attitude of love em and leave em even if you get them pregnant. Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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gringoloid (Trustee board) says on Aug 3, 2007, 09:55: my problem with that is once the colombiana gets to the states, she divorces the guy after 2 years and finds a guy her age. there is over an 80% divorce rate on these marriage tours.
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goin_south says on Aug 3, 2007, 11:00: oh! Hell. Gringoloid, now I'm wondering what she's referring to when she says 'siempre'.... Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rumronrum says on Aug 3, 2007, 15:13: there is over an 80% divorce rate on these marriage tours RumRonRum and http:/www.medellinvisitorguide.com and http:/www.medellinexecutivehotel.com and http:/www.communitywalk.com/medellinexecutivehotel 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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