HELP...Girlfriend from Colombia does'nt want to go back!

jay1234 says on Dec 24, 2006, 09:55:

It's the US rules you have worry about Go to www.visajourney.com and read up. You are probably interested in K3 Visa, but you may also consider K1, depending on facts. Depends on how soon you want to marry, and if she does return to Colombia in the meantime...
The above is to answer your question. How recently did you meet? It must have been less than 5 months given the facts as you stated. I hope it is all you think it is, just would say that you should go slow and not rush in to anything. If you look over the forums, you will see many examples of guys who post about how they were dumb to rush into a marriage that later soured. That can happen to anyone, but still, take your time until you are sure.

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Gator says on Dec 24, 2006, 12:44:

In Your Situation... you probably can marry and file for adjustment of status as long as she is still here legally. If that is not the case then back to Colombian and then you file K-1 of K-3.

What say you Ucowboy?

"Brevior Sltare Cum Deformibus Mulieribus Est Vita!" .

"Credidi pretio parvo emere et magno vendere tibi in animo fuisse!" .

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scotty says on Dec 24, 2006, 13:24:

Two Words GARY BALA

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 24, 2006, 13:55:

De acuerdo, Sr. Gator.
De acuerdo, Sr. Gator.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Miguel says on Dec 24, 2006, 21:07:

RStephen Listen to Gator and UC. I have asked both of these guys questions in the past, and their answers were 100% on the money. I also respect the "warnings" posted from other members that you better "look before you leap".

Que te tengas buena suerte...

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Crazy4Cali says on Dec 24, 2006, 21:10:

RE: very close.... RE: "We have become very close and there is the possibility of marrage between us."

You have a month to decide if there is more than just a possibility. I don't know how ready (or willing) you are to get married but I do know that if you let this deadline rush you, you'll probably regret it.

If you're "meant to be" then her going back to Colombia will be a short, but comparatively minor, inconvenience that keeps her tourist visa and her future chances to come back permanently clean as a whistle. That way you'll know you two really want to be married and you won't have any legal hurdles to over come to make it happen.

She could overstay her tourist visa for a while while you figure it out and if you decide that you don't want to get married, she's sort of messed up her tourist visa (unless she just stays here to marry someone else or whatever), but you haven't messed up your life.

If you let these "dates" force your decisions, you run the risk of getting stuck in a position you really don't want to be. Only you can determine the risk of that. Worst case scenario you marry her, file for her AOS and then she leaves you for one of her hairdressers.

Good luck!

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Keiner says on Dec 25, 2006, 05:27:

Gary Bala Who is Gary Bala?

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Nick Serrano says on Dec 25, 2006, 05:55:

Don't marry her Someone has to say it...so let me be the first one. Don't marry her. I know that she is very special and things are good between the two of you now but the situation you are in with the time ticking away really distorts your relationship. What you will see in the next 30 days is not a true representation of your future relationship with this girl. Do whatever you want, laugh, love, enjoy it for what it is. But...DO NOT MARRY HER. I am speaking from experience.
Merry Christmas, that is my gift to you.

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Keiner says on Dec 25, 2006, 06:05:

Marrige is a posibility. Thank you everyone for your comments. I need to clarify myself. Marrige is a posibility as long as the relationship keeps going in the current direction. We are not going to rush into marrige. We need more time together before we make that decision. She wants to extend her stay or apply for another type of visa. I do not know all of the Colombian rules that would allow her to stay or force her to leave. I do not know how long paper processing takes. If she has to leave, how soon could she come back?

I also would like to know what life in Colombia for women is like. I know that in colombia she owned a beauty salon and before she came to the USA, her salon was bombed or blown up. I will admit after hearing that I am a little concerned about her safety if she does have to return.
Thanks again for your help, it is appreciated.
R.S.

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Keiner says on Dec 25, 2006, 06:10:

Thanks Nick. No offence taken. I should have clarified myself earlier. I am not considering marrage as an easy out. Things would have to be right first. Only time will tell.
R.S.

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Gator says on Dec 25, 2006, 07:47:

Read 1. "I do not know all of the Colombian rules that would allow her to stay or force her to leave."

Colombian "rules"have nothing to do with this situation and NONE will apply in the USA. You will deal with USCIS(United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) and the Department of State.

2. "...a girl that is here from Colombia on a six month visa."

I am unaware of anything called a "six month visa." Do you mean she is here with a B1/B2 visa and was granted a in-country visit for six months?

3. "I know that in Colombia she owned a beauty salon and before she came to the USA, her salon was bombed or blown up."

You really do not "know" anything-only what she told you.

I also am suspicious that she was even granted a visa, based on the circumstances-occupation beautician, no viable business, young(?),
If she is on a visa that is current she can leave the country and then return in say five or six months. Frankly before you much more involved I would do a little investigating. How about starting with a Colombian police report concerning the incident?

Cuidado, amigo.




"Brevior Sltare Cum Deformibus Mulieribus Est Vita!" .

"Credidi pretio parvo emere et magno vendere tibi in animo fuisse!" .

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englishsettler says on Dec 25, 2006, 09:39:

yes, if it in cali, i will find out for you. The salon being bombed story is a good lead because this one could be real bullshit. So, get the address. It is always better to know the truth.

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ColombianoGringo (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Dec 25, 2006, 10:36:

Heck if it's in Neiva ... I'll look it up for you next week. If it's in Medellin, I'll ask one of my cousins.

I'm lucky in that I have family in the city my GF lives in. So you know damn well I double checked everything she told me about her life. I love her, but I am not going to be a dumbass about it.

The point is you have to be careful, there are lots of good Colombian women, but there are lots of really bad ones as well. Hopefully, we are just a bunch of paranoid, cynical bastards.

In the meantime, don't let her overstay her visa. It may cause major problems in the future.

Good luck,
CG

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Keiner says on Dec 25, 2006, 10:57:

Her Info... I will find out the location of her salon and apx. date of the bombing. She is fourty years old. She has a daughter (twenty years old) that was in college in Colombia. Her daughter came to the USA about a year ago to learn English. I was told that this was part of her college education program. In a few months I have been told that her daughter will have to return to Colombia to finish her college education. I also know that her living standards suggest that she is not poor. She lives in a nice apartment and drives a fairly new car.

I don't know a lot of Colombian dating customs, but compared to American women she has NOT been easy to get close to. We went out for months before she would even give me a kiss on the cheek. She refuses to come to my home because she says that it is not a respectable thing to do. I guess one of the things that attracted me to her was this apperance of morals. She has never asked me for a thing. In fact it has been her that suggested we take it slow. She told me that "things that begin fast end fast". It took me an hour to convince her to allow me to buy her a Christmas gift. She allowed it only if I accepted one from her.

I know that there are a lot of bad women out there and it doesn't matter which country they are from. I have had my share of deceitful women and I have hopes that she is not one of them. I don't want to get involved with a bad person. I also do not want to loose a Good person because of my suspicions caused from past bad experiences. All I can do at this point is check out the facts, proceed cautiously ask for your help and keep my fingers crossed that this has not all been in vein.

Thank you all again for your help.
R.S.

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Robert Jorge says on Dec 25, 2006, 11:28:

Your last post RS makes her sound a little better to me. I agree with everybody else, pertaining to you posting the address of this business that was bombed. If it was in Villavicencio, it is a lie. No salons blown up there. If you need any investigating around the Villavo, Acacias, Granada area, let me know. I got my sources ... ha ha. But seriously, if you name the location, I am sure there is somebody on this blog that lives there or has connections there. Use our help. And, that stuff does happen down there and is certainly possible. Maybe she meant that a bomb went off outside of the salon? A bomb went off in mid October in Villavo at the entrance to the 7 Brigade. But, the only person killed was a bus driver who was driving by and the little cafe across the street was damaged. My point is, maybe the salon was not the target, but was damaged anyway. Keep us updated.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

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englishsettler says on Dec 25, 2006, 16:36:

well, it seems she is eitheir a very moralisitic woman or a complete liar !!! im inclined to think she will be the former of those 2 but you will soon find out, Good luck

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Michael B says on Dec 25, 2006, 22:11:

20yo daughter Be aware that 21 years old is the cut off date for you sponsoring a spouse/fiancee's dependent child. I think they have changed the rule now to be 'if you START the process before she turns 21 she still qualifies'....but you better double check. My case was under the old rules and one of my step daughters 'aged out' before the lowlifes over at INS completed their end of the paperwork. Now, I don't advocate rushing in to marry anyone before you are sure, but keep in mind the age deadline for the daughter. P.S. You asked who is Gary Bala? He's an attorney who specializes in immigration cases, especially family based cases. I've never used him, but I do know of people who have used his services and haven't heard any yet who were dissatisfied. He has a web site, a google search should find him. PPS---I live in Dallas too, for what that's worth

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goin_south says on Dec 25, 2006, 22:22:

RStephen I think you know by now, your'e getting pretty good, honest, and genuine advice from just about everybody who has posted above. I hope all works out for good for you. and, her.

Please do report back so we can all ... W I D E N ... our realm of reality. And, thanks.

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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aztec says on Dec 26, 2006, 06:13:

What ever you do... ...don't let her violate the immigration law. Assuming she has a visa please see that she returns to Colombia. She can return to the USA post haste. That would give the two of you more time for getting to know each other.

She is now beginning to panic about her return to her country. Don't start a relationship/marriage on that basis.

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inspectorjavert says on Dec 26, 2006, 09:34:

I can check in Periera If the beauty salon happens to be in eje cafetero(Quindio, Riseralda, Caldas) I can check it out.

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Keiner says on Dec 26, 2006, 10:32:

Thank you all for your .... I want to take a minute to thank all who are helping me with this situation. Your efforts are greatly appreciated. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.
I am working on getting some more information on where she is from and where the bombing took place. My spanish is as bad as her english. We are both heavily relying on conversion dictionaries and computer based translators. From what i know...she is not a bad beautician and do not think that her salon being destroyed was a result of an unsatisfied customer. (Joke) I do think it was a consequence of another target. I will post as soon as I can confirm details.
Best regards,
R.S.

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goin_south says on Dec 26, 2006, 12:04:

RStephen... you might benefit, by turning on your 'personal message' or e-mail function. There might be some people here, who will/can help you, but sometimes people have some things to say that might not be the best said, on the open field. Not speaking of myself. But, maybe others.

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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Keiner says on Dec 26, 2006, 14:53:

PERSONAL CONTACT / e-mail function NOW ON... I have done as you requested and turned on my personal contact tab so I may be sent private e-mail.
Thanks again.

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Keiner says on Dec 27, 2006, 21:00:

MODERATORS PLEASE NOTE!!!
MODERATORS PLEASE REMOVE THIS POST. It is no longer needed.
I found out all I need to know.
Thank You All for your time and efforts. I do believe I will keep her if she will have me.
Best Regards,
R.S.

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goin_south says on Dec 27, 2006, 22:35:

I don't think you can get off, so easy, dude... What? Was that you? who sent her the riddle? She figured it out? Already? I think you better send another, little more difficult one. jajaaa. Come on, now. You gotta reveal to us, what happened to bring this to such an abrupt and happy ending... potentially.

'tengo no mas compasion para su loro'

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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chester says on Dec 28, 2006, 19:58:

Garden Variety Bombings idle delingents set them off as pranks all the time. I doubt her establishment was specifically targeted.

I don't blame her for wanting to stay in the US.

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Keiner says on Dec 29, 2006, 20:44:

Ok...Sorry to leave you hanging. My original post was about meeting a girl here in the US that is from Colombia. She wants to stay here in the US and I was trying to understand the process we were facing to get her to be able to stay. We have a pretty good relationship between us at this point and there is the POSSIBILITY of the relationship turning into more. I did not understand her situation completely.

As the post progressed it turned into a question of her integrity. I understand that there are a lot of dishonest people out there so I did become curious about some of what she had told me.

I have found out that she was telling me the truth and I have seen documentation to verify EVERYTHING she told me right down to the location and date. The Colombian Government is working to make things right for her. She still has family in Colombia. Her visit to the US is on a vacation visa. She decided to come and see what the US was all about before applying for asilym.

I decided to try and end the topic after seeking council from someone who wishes to remain annonymous. A "public" forum is not the best place for specific details considering her situation. I do not wish to cause her or her family any problems. Please do not be offended by this, it is for her protection.

I was and still am concerned that if she reads this forum she may be upset about it. I can only hope that if she does read it, what I have written will convince her that I was genuinely trying to help because I truly care about her. I would be very fortunate to have her in my life. Time will tell. I do care for her very much and hope that things work out between us. I hope I have not screwed things up.

I do apreciate the assistance I have recieved from this forum and I also apreciate all of you who voluntered your time to help me.
R.S.

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goin_south says on Dec 30, 2006, 00:01:

That's really understandable, so I would second RStephens request to delete the post completely.
All in favor, say:
Hay!

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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Keiner says on Dec 30, 2006, 14:08:

Many thanks to a Great bunch of people. In a world that is full of negatives some times in the midst in unexpected places caring people emerge as our friends who have our backs. Thanks Guys...
Your friend,
R.S.

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2007, 20:17:

I actually had a similar experience... with my wife. She owned a peluqiera with her sister that was 'destroyed". Her sister was at a finca and witnessed five people killed.

Look it is natural to want to verify. I research immigrations before commiting with my now wife. I sat her down and asked her point blank if she had ever been a prostitute or involved with drugs or had immigrations problems. These are the big no-nos with uscis.

I point blank expressed my concerns with my novia that there were a lot of colombianas seeking green cards. It wasn't easy and she did have some issues with immigrations and was upfront and honest and we overcame them all and now have a daughter.

If she should overstay and you marry her i doubt that you will have problems. It is no guarentee but I know of too many situations were this has occured. I spoke with a lady who entered without inspection, worked without authorization and didn't pay taxes, while on vacation in Miami over Christmas. All was forgiven and she received her green card in three months. My wife has been trying to get hers for close to three years now with what appears to to be another year and a half to go!

trust and verify and go for it!!!

tony

"cook some rice!"

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Colombian Services says on Jan 4, 2007, 11:31:

The best advise has already been given: Marry her while she is still legal (if your looking for marriage and feel safe about the situation), or see Gary Bala (http://www.usaimmigrationattorney.com)

Best Wishes,
Bob
*********************
www.Colombian-Services.com
www.FlowersToColombia.com
www.BogotaColombiaLodging.com

Bob - www.BogotaColombiaLodging.com - www.FlowersToColombia.com - www.Colombian-Services.com

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social butterfly says on Jan 4, 2007, 18:41:

People do not complicate matters! If you want to take a few more months to get to know this girl, just go to www.uscis.gov that's the Citizenship and Immigration Services website, get the form I-539 so she can extent her visitor status for now, in the meantime get to know her a little better. Also in that website you can make an INFO-PASS appointment to see an Immigration Officer in person at your local USCIS office. Please do not listen to people that don't have an idea what they are talking about. Get the INFO from the right source the Immigration Office.

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pelon2007 says on Jan 26, 2007, 15:46:

Support Keiner i agree with DonGringo take your time on this.Like the old saying good things come to people who wait.
Take a quick glance at this :The United states holds us to s very srtict standard when it comes to supporting our bride to be


:
That this affidavit is made by me for the purpose of assuring the U.S. Government that the person(s) named initem (3) will not become a public charge in the United States.
That I am willing and able to receive, maintain and support the person(s) named in item 3. That I am ready and willing todeposit a bond, if necessary, to guarantee that such person(s) will not become a public charge during his or her stay in theUnited States, or to guarantee that the above named person(s) will maintain his or her nonimmigrant status, if admitted temporarilyand will depart prior to the expiration of his or her authorized stay in the United States.
That I understand this affidavit will be binding upon me for a period of three (3) years after entry of the person(s) named initem (3) and that the information and documentation provided by me may be made available to the Secretary of Health and HumanServices and the Secretary of Agriculture, who may make it available to a public assistance agency.

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jnlondon says on Jan 28, 2007, 12:34:

You can't help her without marrying her, and if you marry her so that you can help her, YOU ARE MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE. Don't let somebody your barely know (6 months LOL) TAKE TOTAL CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE LEGALLY VIA MARRIAGE. Don't go there dude. You've been warned.

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goin_south says on Jan 28, 2007, 13:28:

at last word, I think Keiner has dropped contact with that chica. I think he made the wisest decision, based on what he wrote and read here.

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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goin_south says on Jan 28, 2007, 13:29:

pbh... useful once more?

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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