Handling women, colombian or from where ever!

kentuckygreg says on Apr 23, 2007, 12:23:

That doesn't work in the USA...chicks always try to wear the pants. At least the ones I have dated. Notice the word "try"

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elmodefoque says on Apr 23, 2007, 12:28:

it works anywhere. women need to feel protected and they get that from a guy who's gonna show them who the boss is. Always keep in mind, deep forcefull voice and a stern Pimp hand.
Once you point that finger 2 inches from her face she better blink.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 23, 2007, 12:34:

if you guys get involved in this long distance romance, she better tell you where she BE AT 24/7, she better account for every minute. make her say she loves you out loud when ever you call, it could be anytime of the day. Sometimes the colombian boyfriend could be right next to her and she'll act like she was just talking to a friend.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 23, 2007, 12:36:

put a lo jack tracking device on her ass. one of them there GPS.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kalder says on Apr 23, 2007, 13:08:

Advice on women... Ike Turner once said: "Stay handsome and keep 'em guessing."

I appreciate the fact that he was a pig of a man. But an insightful one.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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Cerealkiller says on Apr 23, 2007, 13:13:

Haha Elmo, arent you the one who is always complaining about not getting any booty? well, your attitude explains a lot, you have absolutely no idea about what a woman wants/needs from a guy. Nice try though, that was a very creative theory, not...

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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webmanco says on Apr 23, 2007, 13:18:

felling better CK ? Parece que sí.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 23, 2007, 13:25:

the thing is Elmo gives orders but no-one listen to them.

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Cerealkiller says on Apr 23, 2007, 13:25:

Siiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! My lungs are back to normal...see what I did was get drunk on martinis last friday. It worked wonders. Gracias por preguntar :)

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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mecca says on Apr 23, 2007, 13:27:

hey elmo, what do you think of this chica??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_lcVir5j4U

How about this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juovpsja5jg

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CaptainHowdy says on Apr 23, 2007, 16:30:

You tell them, Elmo!!! Girls need a strong man (not abusive) to help them remember their place. And I agree that girls like a strong and confident man. It gives them a feeling of security. It's just like raising kids. They need discipline and dominance to help them feel secure and happy. You can't give kids or women everything they want or they'll never be happy. Hence, the rich bitches who are materialistic and unhappy. One good place to remind a girl who is boss is in la cama. I thoroughly enjoy making my girls tell me things I like to hear which reinforces their role. I've lost a few girls by being a bit too kind and that's not going to happen again. Oh, I treat them like a queen in public but they take care of me in the bedroom. It's a 2 way street. Serve and be served and everything will be all right. And I would never marry a bitch who wanted to keep her single name. That's the ultimate disrespect to a man. Your name isn't good enough for me...I'm keeping my single name...Now, tell me, how in the hell can you be single and married at the same time. Drop the single name and take the man's name. That's how it's supposed to work...Chicks are not supposed to wear the pants!!! C'mon guys, Buck Up!!!!

Teaching preteens the things they need to know!

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David in Idaho says on Apr 23, 2007, 17:04:

puro machismo, give me a break There is a difference between being a strong, confident man, and being a control freak, machista, chest-thumping ass. I suppose that attitude works if all you want is to get laid. But one of the reasons we gringos consistently do well with latinas is that we don't treat them like dogs. I'm talking about relationships; I'd rather live in a family than a pack. A family works together and all members make compromises. A pack bends to the will of the dominant alpha and force is usually necessary to maintain order. If you force your woman to say something, what good is it? It actually means something when she says it freely of her own volition. Jeez, you can program a sophisticated doll to be a perfect mate for Elmo, Captain, and the rest of the underevolved machistas on this site.

My gringa ex-wife never took my last name. Maybe I should've slapped her around until she relented? Luckily, my Colombian wife was only too thrilled to take my name, not because I insisted, but because she was honestly proud to become my wife in all ways. Now she says and does everything I'd ever want a woman to say and do, and I never have to tell her to.

Mecca, nice videos, if you're into silicone (silly cones) but real boobs are so much better!

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CaptainHowdy says on Apr 23, 2007, 17:17:

Ahhhh..my point exactly.. My gringa ex-wife never took my last name. David in Idaho

I notice she's now an "ex." Thank you for proving my point. Oh, and don't slap her around. Perhaps you don't read well or suffer from short-term memory loss, but the first line of my previous post says, "Girls need a strong man (not abusive.)" To slap her around would be abusive and considered....(how'd you put it, David?) Ah, yes, here it is: "Underevolved machista!"
If you have a girl tell you something often enough, she'll start to believe it and say it herself...That's how a relationship works, You find out what the other person likes and incorporate it into your life and vocabulary. And, remember, you can't rush execellence..

Teaching preteens the things they need to know!

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manu1999 says on Apr 23, 2007, 17:43:

David in Idaho you sum it up beautifully. I have found the same thing mate, women appreciate men who treat them as equals, no more, no less. Perhaps there's a tendancy for men from Europe or the states to go down to Latin America looking to exploit the Machisto characteristic of Latin American society, though they perhaps would be the exception rather than the rule. I certainly have one example of what may have been a case as such, that i went on about a few months ago:

http://poorbuthappy.com/colombia/node/22161


For the most part I don't buy "women love men who tell them what to do" nonsense. It's up to the individuals to decide what makes their relationships tick.

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David in Idaho says on Apr 23, 2007, 17:45:

sorry I do read well (I'm an English teacher!) so it must be short-term memory loss. Oldbongo could shed some light on that I'm sure.

I did overlook your disclaimer for physical abuse, but I wonder where emotional abuse fits in? Making someone say something over and over again until they believe it is called brainwashing. Inspiring someone to speak their thoughts and feelings is much more rewarding.

Yes, my ex is an ex for many reasons, not the least of which was her refusal to compromise on ANYTHING. I should've seen that coming when she refused to take my name. Unfortunately I didn't have PBH back then to enlighten me.

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David in Idaho says on Apr 23, 2007, 18:01:

Interesting thread, Manu That must've been during my lapse of active PBHing - but it does deal with a different angle: tolerating domestic violence.

In this thread we're discussing the two opposing views of a woman's role in a relationship. On one hand, the Elmos and CaptainHowdies who want a suberservient partner to "honor and obey" and on the other, guys like us who enjoy a true partnership.

The world is big enough to hold both types. I guess what it comes down to is this: women with low self esteem want to be owned and controlled because they are afraid to take control of their own life, or don't know that they even can. Some men (probably also of low self esteem) feel propped up by such canine devotion, and naturally seek such women as mates. Codependency is the technical jargon for these "relationships." One needs to be ruled as much as the other needs to rule. If that's your bag, enjoy. But don't try to tell the rest of us that this is how it is supposed to be done. Many of us know much better, that we treat others as we want to be treated, be they a mate, a neighbor, or a mysterious online personality.

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manu1999 says on Apr 23, 2007, 19:32:

well put! and the philosophy i hold as well.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 23, 2007, 19:53:

Honor and obey sounds good to me. And bring me a beer!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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caslug says on Apr 23, 2007, 19:59:

i've always thought.. that women.. really like a guy with... a sense of HUMOR! and ELMO has that in abudance.. and some posters here should emulate that more often..hehe

women like decisive men.. heck MEN like decisive MEN.. AND WOMEN.. being decisive means sometimes, telling people what you WANT(or want them to do-or not do).. sometimes it doesnt go over well.. but it's ALOT better than not saying anything or let people walk over you because you are too polite..

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David in Idaho says on Apr 23, 2007, 20:02:

Agreed Women in probably every culture are definitely turned off by spineless men, always tripping over themselves to please. Sometimes they dig it at first, but soon get very bored.

Some men, apparently, like the idea of having an inferior mate who knows her lowly place and acts accordingly. I think the word "wife" for them implies free hooker, maid, chef, whatever. Woo hoo.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 23, 2007, 20:05:

You know what, Caslug. You are fucking absolutely right. It's like driving. I like assertive drivers who are decisive so you know what they're doing. Not like these pussy pansies who are driving all wimpy-style and you have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Are they exiting? Changing lanes? Are they yielding? You have no idea because they have no idea. I drive assertively and I like other drivers to drive assertively too - that way we all know who's doing what and we don't ram the fuck outa each other. These pansy candy asses cause all the accidents for the rest of us.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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CaptainHowdy says on Apr 23, 2007, 20:36:

Simply put... Women need to know their role and men need to know their role. I've not referred to women as "inferior" as I love to treat a lady like a queen in public (as was stated in my initial post) and I enjoy being treated like a king in private. It's a fair trade as long as we each know our role. Different types of women need different types of men. Assertive women need a wimpy, pansy type male to dominate so they can wear the the pants in the relationship and strong men are decisive and not going to be pussy whipped and pushed around. So, to each his own! But, men are supposed to be the head of the household...He can work together with his wife, but he is still the acting head of the household.

Teaching preteens the things they need to know!

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David in Idaho says on Apr 23, 2007, 21:18:

I definitely agree ... that men and women have separate roles in society and in a relationship. But most women I know, in fact most people I know, don't think the man should get to decide by himself what both roles should be. Why is it the man's right to decide for women what their role is? This is something for a couple to figure out on their own, and it will certainly vary. And if men are indeed born with this superior right, then women are by default inferior, regardless of how you may treat them in public.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 23, 2007, 21:22:

I'm not deciding what her role is. It can be anything she wants as long as she gets me a beer. I like the fact that she's a chemical engineer but I love the fact that she gets the laundry done and the house clean.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 23, 2007, 22:08:

Helluva good law to stop those gringo mer'fers from importing Colombiana love slaves. You know what degenerates they are. They should be forced to use real dolls to satisfy their base desires instead of forcing women to have their big fat pasty jelly roll bodies flopping all over them and grunting like pigs in heat. Hell it disgusts me and I'm a big fat pasty jelly roll gringo that looks like a dead carp that's been stuffed with bird shit. Everybody knows a gringo just wants a woman to wash the skid marks outa his stinking BVDs. They can't fool Uncle Sam on that one.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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REYNA says on Apr 23, 2007, 23:07:

JAJAJA... OMG you boys are full of hot air!

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goin_south says on Apr 24, 2007, 00:00:

no se, Reyna; I'm starting to think that Rodadero is O+

Talk about long-winded.

damned.... he needs to start writing and sellin e-books. I ain't got time to read all that

Where do we go from here?

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 00:27:

All you guys who know excactly how to handle women how about if you get to it instead of wasting your time on PBH every night, every day.
Instead of just talking about it, do it!
Or,is it more like "once upon a time when I was still young and handsome I had a woman...."

Cheers,
Desi

(PS. David, good points)

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe
they are free." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 04:54:

I agree Desi. aqui hay mucho tilin tilin y nada de paletas :P


Men should be seen but not heard :)

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aztec says on Apr 24, 2007, 05:01:

Since Adam and Eve... ...man has been attempting to understand women. Maybe you would think by now we would know it is impossible. Even if you place them in a cage (many kinds) there is no reason to believe you will control how and what they think.

Thank goodness. How boring would life be if we indeed could "manage" the women with whom we come in contact.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 05:07:

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 05:23:

I’m talking from experience. When my young cachaca wify came to USA she accepted that I was the man of the house, she was lost with out me in this big bad NYC.
We were very happy for about 5 years, we traveled often and she bought more clothes and shoes than Imelda Marco.
Soon after her engineering degree was accredited in USA she landed some really well paying jobs and now she was making more money than me, while I continue to clean toilets for a living. She wanted to boss me around, she was no longer that newly arrived hick from colombia. She hardly cooked, we always order out or went out to dinner. She wanted to eat in every restaurant in NYC, we got about 120 thousand of them in Manhattan alone. I was not into that scene so she came across other typical pretentious group or Colombians like her and now she was eating at “Le Circ” on the east side and paying $17 dollars for a fokin glass of fokin red wine.
After one of those nights at "Le Circ" she came home drunk and that’s when she busted a fokin lamp upside my head. I immediately ran to the bathroom and locked the fokin door, cowarding inside while she tried to break the door down to hit me with the other lamp.
She had lost total respect for me and it was all my fault. Because she was new in this country I did not apply my usual stern pimp hand, that’s when she took full advantage. She wanted to be my equal and things went down hill from there.
Carnaval 2006 she attacked me in El Prado Hotel leaving me bloodied and black and blue. Miguel could attest to this, he was there.
Moral of the story, broads should be treated like puppies; you have to trained them with a stern but fair pimp hand. They have to jump at your mere glance; there is no room for two bosses in a household.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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David in Idaho says on Apr 24, 2007, 05:42:

That's certainly one way to look at it But maybe, just maybe, she wasn't trying to be your equal at all, but rather your master. After years of servitude, she realized at last she had the wherewithal to turn the tables. Revenge! If she had been loved and cherished and honored and respected from the beginning, maybe she never would have seen the need to shit on you. Instead, she would've seen her newfound wealth as a chance to finally repay you for the years of support and devotion. Imagine Elmo, you could be lounging in the lap of luxury right now, instead of looking for another puppy to train, in between toilet scrubbing sessions.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 05:43:

Elmo wrote "She wanted to be my equal" gezz if you are like her I don't think i want to live with you either :((


what is wrong with women earning more money than her parnert and want to pamper him, if we can afford it, it doesn't matter... are we hurting your ego?.

elmo have been traumatised by a woman so now he wants to take revenge on the little puppy :( because he knows the puppy won't fight back

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 06:03:

Correction! that was Carnaval 2006 when she gave me my last beating. She could not attend this year cus of a pre arranged business trip, but she did threaten to show up un-announced and if she saw me with another woman she was gonna pay Paracos to kill me. She still loves me to death and invites me to lavish vacations to the Caribbean which I decline. I ‘m gonna make her suffer for all the abuse she put me thru.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 24, 2007, 06:09:

Kat, how would you feel about putting a dog collar and leash on Elmo while you wear a leather thong and teach him to beg for a treat? You could have a little whip to use on him and maybe let him have a sniff every once in a while.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 06:11:

a sniff? jijjijjjjjijjjijijjiijjjjjiijij

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kentuckygreg says on Apr 24, 2007, 06:56:

Yes, I said try. Not... Yes, I said try. Not into bitch slapping but as soon as they tried to start wearing the pants I traded them in for a better model. :) Como se dice "kicked to the curb" en espanol?

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kentuckygreg says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:03:

Elmo...start lifting weights bro...no one should be getting manhandled by their woman. Hilarious. LOL.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:06:

this guy has the right idea

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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pacaermo says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:23:

Respect always I agree, Colombian women like to have a man who protect them and keep them safe, but you have to be sometimes tough or they will use you and will take advantage of you, that is why they can get lazy, spoil and spend your money.

So be smart.

Gringos are good for them, but sooner or later Colombian women get tired of all the "good and lack of berraquera and carisma latino"..lol

None said you have to be a machista, but let me tell you.. today we don’t know if a home is build by two independent individuals or a couple, and a couple is what is need it to raise children, not two people competing with each other.

Gringas are the best if you looking for a drinking friend, they always go their own way. That is why they end up alone

(These are just a comment and of course there are always exceptions to this)

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:40:

blah
just follow this simple rules and you will be a happy chappy

1. The FEMALE always makes the rules.
2. The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.
3. No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.
4. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.
5. The FEMALE is never wrong.
6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
7. The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.
8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
9. The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.
10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.
14. The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!
15. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
16. If the FEMALE has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void.
17. The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.
18. The MALE must be ready at ALL times.

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goin_south says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:48:

Kat1....what's up with the early morning posters..? I wake up and....ACCESS DENIED everywhere.

Where do we go from here?

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mecca says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:52:

I think Kat has spent a few too many years out of Colombia.jajajajaj

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 07:53:

The above pic was most likely taken in Nariño, pasto, villavaina, medellin, pereira, boyaca etc. they most definitely have cachaco faces.
Lets say I was born in those places and I spotted Kat riding her little burro in some picturesque tiny village, damn right I 'm gonna go after her. Soon I’ll have her haul up wood like that woman, while I leisurely smoke a sig.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 08:27:

I dunno feliz?..............

mecca no, no, i was brought up in a with matriarcal home my mum was the one that wore the trousers at home :)))


elmo, my burro will be riding you jiji while I leisurely get lost ;)

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kalder says on Apr 24, 2007, 08:39:

My experience has lead me to believe that a lot of Colombian women want the man to be the boss. Whatever they may say to the contrary, they have little respect for the carin', sharin' New Man.

Now, back in the day when I was courting young (and not so young) Colombianas, my usual MO was being the attentive gentleman. Because, by and large, that's who I am. But, oh so often, a lot of these girls would choose to view these traits as a species of weakness. I could almost feel their respect lessening as I failed to be sufficiently (in their eyes) manly and dominant. And it was usually over something crappily insignificant- like letting them choose the time and place of a date and being understanding when they turned up late; or not being sufficiently snotty to a waiter if everything wasn't just so.

I guess you're drawn to what you're used to...and all my good looks (ahem) and money wasn't enough for them, if I wasn't a machista like daddy or the previous boyfriend...

This used to make me laugh (ruefully and with little joy; but laugh all the same) and ask myself: 'What do they think we gringos are? Pussies, just because we don't treat 'em mean?' And I'd just turn on my heel and walk away. Into the arms of the next one usually. I'd never look back, wouldn't take their calls... it's over honey. And boy, did they want me back then! Talk about wanting what you can't have. I couldn't get rid of them.

Now, this is just one man's experience. And his subjective interpretation of it at that. I'd be the first to concede that many, many Colombianas (my wife, for example)are properly respectful of others and of self and wouln't ever act in such an immature way. However, it happened to me and to a lot of other guys I'd meet over there...make of it what you will.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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mecca says on Apr 24, 2007, 08:40:

ahhh Kat, i see elmo, you better get to the gym and strengthen your back and legs if you're going to have a burro on your back. I remember a trip to Mexico, Puerto Vallarta where we damn near had to carry this burro back after we rode them into the ground. What a trip.

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Miguel says on Apr 24, 2007, 08:43:

"elmo, my burro will be riding you jiji" kat1, ¿estás segura? Estoy apostando que elmo pueda conquistar tu burro y tu burra.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 24, 2007, 08:51:

miguel I don't doubt that elmo can conquer my burro or burra, He will be in his element.



HELLO SEXY

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Miguel says on Apr 24, 2007, 08:58:

Oye elmo Is that one your type? Classic, kat1!

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Miguel says on Apr 24, 2007, 09:04:

kalder I can relate.

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Miguel says on Apr 24, 2007, 09:19:

For the record I did, in fact, witness the physical abuse elmodofoque's cachaca wife inflicted on him during Carnaval 2006. We suggested getting rabies shots and he refused.

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manu1999 says on Apr 24, 2007, 09:29:

great post mr. Kaldahhhhh Good on you mate, to walk away from a pretty thing is what she needs, and difficult for the man, to say the least. But it's an attitudinal trait that can be quite a turn-off, expecting an outdated machismo characteristic that is oh-so Spanish conquistadorian. Interestingly, it was the treatment of women in Colombia that initially drew me to this site, not that I participate much, and I wrote a long-winded post on the matter: http://poorbuthappy.com/colombia/node/22161

Mind you, I'd hazard a guess that when they wanted you to be snobby to a waiter, that's more of a classism thing, which is more repulsive, something I've experienced and one of the only things of Colombian culture I hate.

In my frollicks in the promised land of Colombia, I have only ever met kind head-strong women who yearn to break the chains of repression and love me for treating them as equals and better (and of course me exceptional good looks and masculinity!), falling for the good ol' Brit charm that has been passed down to me for generations. I get bemusment but most of all genuine gratitude, as I'm sure you have experienced amidst the your throngs of lasses who love you for giving them a chance at equality! Oh aren't I a romantic haha!

Cindster says on Apr 24, 2007, 10:17:

when i read this topic, my first thought was "ARE YOU SERIOUS.. HOW F*CKING PATHETIC?" Half of you feel that you have to be STRONG & Machista? No wonder you have to treat your 'women' like that because of your attitude & your way of thinking, im colombian & i love & adore my boyfriend but he never disrespects me by ever screaming at me or putting me in my place, when he sees i'm having one of my bitchy moods he just leaves me alone & ignores me & trust me that is what gets the best of me, we have been together for almost two years &never has he ever disrespected me & when i feel its nessesary to put him in his place i dont scream or try being rough, i let him know what he does wrong & he does likewise. Whenver he feels the need to feel like the one who wears the pants all i do is " Yes hunny, ofcourse hunny, Okay hunny" & other then that ignore... maybe some of you should 'try' something other then pulling a girl the rough way SHOWING her who is AUTHORITY.. pssh. Better your ways & its just my opinion. ;]

La Colombianita ; Cindy

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mecca says on Apr 24, 2007, 10:28:

And the quote of the day isssssssssss, "& when i feel its nessesary to put him in his place i dont scream or try being rough"

uuuuhhhhh, yeah....

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kalder says on Apr 24, 2007, 10:43:

Miguel- Yes my friend., I was kind of feeling I wasn't alone in that experience!

Manu- good point about the classism. Yes, it was upper estrata women who wanted me to join in with them treating the waiting staff badly. But the odd aspirational lower estrata ones could be almost as bad.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 10:49:

I've learned my lesson from now on i keep my PIMP hand strong

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 11:14:

back in the good ol days when wayuu men had all the power we made our women do the heavy work, just like in this picture.
My great, great grandmother carried bigger bundles than that woman up la sierra nevada while my great great grandfather screw burras

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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Man Tequila says on Apr 24, 2007, 11:50:

This thread raises more questions than it answers.

Why does the guy with the strong pimp hand remind me of Michael Jackson? Is that burro still alive or just wigged out on escopolamina?

Many women do like a strong and decisive man. I know women who use the term SNAG to refer to "sensitive new age guys". But not many women like "Puppy Chow".

Aunque no me creas/ si me lo propongo/ lograre olvidarte/ porque a fin de cuentas/ no soy tan cobarde./ Y termino todo una de estas tardes/ no sera dificil buscar algún sitio donde refugiarme/ donde nunca mas vuelvas a encontrarme. (Polo Montañez)

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morphus says on Apr 24, 2007, 11:58:

Modefoque, I remember when you showed me those bite marks that your wife gave you on your arm. Fokin scary!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 12:04:

i shouldda called the cops on that crazy jelous b--ch!

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 24, 2007, 12:09:

hey morph i wanted to get drunk today in the village but just remembered i gotta doggie sit and also gotta walk the little modefoque

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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morphus says on Apr 24, 2007, 12:24:

I can go any day this week.

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Robert Jorge says on Apr 24, 2007, 18:03:

That is a hilarious picture Elmo. I know you explained months ago why your wife was jealous when she went off on you. Could you please share the story again?

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 24, 2007, 20:01:

I'm starting to detect a pattern here. Kat is jealous of Elmo's burra conquests. I think she may not be sure whether Elmo, her man, would prefer a burra or her. She wants to know that she's No. 1 and that he won't just dump her when a really good-looking burra comes along. You should just carry around a well used pair of panties, Kat. When his attention wanders just wave those in front of his nose. Guys just can't get enough of that used panty smell from a hot chick. I used to wear one chick's panties on my head and just sniff it all day.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Cerealkiller says on Apr 25, 2007, 01:13:

I dont like strong willed, macho men...as a matter of fact, everytime I meet one of those I feel like I wanna beat the crap out of him, with a bat, and make him cry like a little baby. Most of the guys who are asses to their partners are idiots who have to mistreat the fairer gender because it makes them feel more masculine when in fact, theyre not. I love when guys dont care about that stuff and are, like Man Tequila put it, SNAGs...I wouldve thought that was the main gringo advantage in a country like Colombia. Women love to be treated gently, as an equal, with respect and TLC... But then again not all women are like that...stupid women love painful love...the more it hurts them the better...I just never thought guys went for stupid women, i certainly wouldnt go for a stupid man.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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kalder says on Apr 25, 2007, 01:50:

UTC You should exercise a little caution when you're draping those soiled panties over your head.

A friend of mine does the IT for an escort service. He tells me they have a lucrative sideline in selling 'used' female undergarments. But he goes on to say that only seldom do the employees use their own fair persons for the job. Usually, they just wipe the said items of intimate apparel on their pet cats' arses.

So that smell you're such an aficionado of may be more genuinely 'pussy' than you realised...

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 04:24:

"So that smell you're such an aficionado of may be more genuinely 'pussy' than you realised..." kalder

Kalder that is fokin sick, you sure is one sick english modefoque jijijijijij

My fishing buddies suggested something quite interesting regarding my unusual number of beatings at the hands of my women. Since I can’t touch them, no matter how much they beat on me, I could smack them with a fish. No rule against that!
They suggest I gut the fish first put a little seasoning and then let her have it.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kalder says on Apr 25, 2007, 04:35:

Elmo No, old chap, I'm just passing on a timely warning...

What IS sick is what some of my friend's employers' clients do with the panties AFTER they've had a hearty snuffle.

But upon that, I will not be drawn...

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 04:51:

Mira cerealkiller, you’re the kind of chick I love to conquer, you’re like a wild, mean, disobedient bronco, dying for a real man to discipline you.
Listen , I’m just the guy to do it and onece I have you under my thumb you’re gonna beg for more. I’ll have you eating outta my hands.
I bet you never been slap en las nalgas real hard during wild heated passionate, sweaty, drunken sex. You're gonna beg me to go in the back door too.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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Cerealkiller says on Apr 25, 2007, 05:17:

Elmo I have been spanked...BUT thats because I explicitly ask to get spanked, not because my bf gets a kick out of it.If i get spanked because ive been a bad cerealkiller then it kind of reminds me of my mother beating the shit out of me for spitting on people and throwing the maid's clothes out the window, so no, anything that reminds me of my mother is a sexdrive killer. I dont like anyone telling me what to do, or spanking my bottom because they felt like it. I do what I want and if i get spanked is because I wanna get spanked. Drunken sex is a bore, because if im too drunk chances are I wont remember, like I dont remember how the heck i got home. Im completely fine with my current bf, no need to find sweaty, drunk, nasty sex anywhere...its sooo overrated!!!

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 05:31:

Hey killer! you’re wild. Are you pretty?
Listen after much observation I ‘vet notice that most middle class colombianas adore pendejito men. That is very rare among other Latin women through out the world. I know one thing, Puerto Rican girls can’t stand wimpy guys but colombianas love them. Dominicans can’t stand nerds, but colombianas love them.
Cubanas would not be caught dead with an overly sensitive guy, but colombianas love them. What’s with that?? Is it in the diet, weather, upbringing??

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 25, 2007, 09:14:

I don't know why women like to be spank or whip, I hated it, if somebody hit my pompis , I will kill it.

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andrew24 says on Apr 25, 2007, 09:17:

"Since I can’t touch them, no matter how much they beat on me, I could smack them with a fish. No rule against that!"

Why?? Look, I absolutely think it's wrong for a man to get angry at a woman (or vice-versa, for that matter) and hit her, but there is a line where it becomes self-defense--if she's punching you in the face, swinging a golf club or a lamp or something at your head, then hell yeah you have the right to hit back; I mean, am I missing something here? She busted a lamp over your head, bit the shit out of you, and you let her?? WTF?!


Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. Mark Twain

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chester says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:03:

Mi Calena I just tell her I will trade her in for Nica so fast her head will spin.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:11:

I bet you never been slap en I checked the criminal guidelines for domestic assault and battery and can't find anywhere where it said, you can't whack a violent partner with a dead fish in self defense
Next time I get attack, somebody is getting hit with a 5 pound striper.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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Robert Jorge says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:14:

Andrew, in the US, you can't touch a woman no matter what. My ex threw a barstool at me, almost breaking my elbow. But if I had defended myself by just restraining her, guess who goes to jail. Wait a minute ... the lamp to the head happened in Colombia. Elmo, like Andrew said, WTF?
Like Elmo, what caused the wrath of the barstool being thrown was jealousy also. I learned NEVER let your ex sleep in another room under the same roof as you, if you talk to other chicks on the phone when the ex is "sleeping."

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:15:

Elmo how expensive was the lamp? :S

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Robert Jorge says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:18:

Damn Kat, that's harsh.
Damn Kat, that's harsh.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:19:

the lamp was $69.99 each. Got 2 of them at IKEA in New Jersey

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:32:

ah that's ok then, i was worry for a bit, ;)

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 10:45:

The lamp incident happened in NYC.
The incident where she almost chewed my right arm off and left me black and blue with my blood splattered all over the room happened in el Prado Hotel Barrranquilla, 2006.
I was trying to hook up a young lady for Miguel but first I needed to take her for a test ride to see how she handles.
Well, someone dropped a dime on my ass and my young cachaca wify from Medellin found out. I got heads up of what was about to happen from my sister, “la cachaca esta furiosa y te esta buscando!”
She took a cab all the way from the hotel and looked for me in the ugliest most dangerous places in Barraquilla, places where she knows I like to slither around.
She could not find me, got spooked and waited for me back in the hotel.
When I arrived that’s when all hell broke lose.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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andrew24 says on Apr 25, 2007, 11:22:

"Andrew, in the US, you can't touch a woman no matter what. My ex threw a barstool at me, almost breaking my elbow. But if I had defended myself by just restraining her, guess who goes to jail."

That's absolutely untrue; it's either self-defense or not. If she physically attacked you, and there's any evidence of it at all and you want to press charges then she is definitely going to jail--you MIGHT go to jail depending on how far you went in defending yourself, among other factors. This urban legend that whenever there's a domestic dispute the cops ALWAYS go after the man NO MATTER WHAT is bullshit--yes, you DO have the right to keep someone else from seriously injuring you, yes even if it's your wife. I recall reading a story on here about a guy in Jersey or NYC or somewhere who got punched in the face by his Colombiana wife and she later asked him why he didn't hit her back--she's absolutely right, and if she lost respect for him because he didn't defend himself, she's right to do so; I'd lose respect for him, too. Like I said, I absolutely do NOT condone hitting a woman for any reason ALMOST without exception--the only exception being self-defense where she's really trying to seriously injure you, I don't mean half-assed silly stuff like smacking you in the arm or back or slapping you in the side of the head (sometimes girls need to do stuff like that to us guys :) no harm no foul there), I'm talking about an all out fight where she's hitting you in the face, swinging a chair at your head, etc.--if you honestly think you shouldn't fight back to keep from getting your arm broken, face broken, or skull smashed...well, you're just not too bright. Sorry, but I have to say that if we're talking about a situation that serious, most of the ladies on here would agree with me (I could be wrong, but I'll take my chances and see what happens).

Sorry, no offense to anyone that this has happened to, but you should NEVER let another person physically abuse you like that--whether they happen to have a dick between their legs or not is absolutely irrelevant at that point.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. Mark Twain

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elmodefoque says on Apr 25, 2007, 11:35:

Andrew you make a most valid and compelling point. If I do hit a broad with a 5 pound bass and end up arrested, I want you as my fokin lawyer.
I wanted to study law but girls could not keep their paws off me, it was too damn difficult to concentrate

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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andrew24 says on Apr 25, 2007, 11:40:

Well thankyou elmo, although I think a frozen fish from grocery store might work better--you don't want to whip out your fish and have it go all floppy, now do you? :)

Ironically, in Louisiana (that's what I'm basing this off of because that's the law I'm familiar with) if the fish ends up being proven to be a 'dangerous weapon' (capable of inflicting serious injury or death--doubtful lol) you could get charged with aggravated battery (felony) instead of just simple battery (misdemeanor) if you had simply slapped/punched her....

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. Mark Twain

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David in Idaho says on Apr 25, 2007, 12:00:

I guess Jesus wouldn't have done too well with the Colombianas You know, that whole "turn the other cheek thing" looks good on paper and all, but ... I guess he was just a wuss after all.

Ironic, the people who call themselves Christian yet still espouse this kind of behavior. I don't think the loaves were turned into fishes as a way to arm the masses. But for that matter, I don't think that ever happened anyway. I'm not a Christian, but I don't believe in hitting people either. If a woman were trying to clobber me, I bet I could find a way to restrain her and protect myself without having to deck her.

Luckily, since I don't treat women like animals, I've never provoked their violence. Do you see a connection here? The same guys who tell us we need to keep a "firm pimp hand" are the same ones getting physically attacked by their "bitches." It doesn't take a brain surgeon to see through that one! As in everything, you reap what you sow.

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Robert Jorge says on Apr 25, 2007, 12:50:

Andrew, no offense taken. No worries. I forgot, the thing that set her off to the point she threw the bar stool at me was I told her to get out, and to take her vibrator with her. And then I tossed it on her little sleeping pad. She turned into a devil, not unlike that chick from the Exorcism. She did leave after inflicting injury to me, but I didn't want to call the cops. I had a good buzz going, and the cops probably wouldn't be thrilled to be called for a domestic by a drunk who got his elbow busted by a chick throwing a barstool. I just slept it off. It did ruin my phone conversation with the girl I was talking to.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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Cerealkiller says on Apr 25, 2007, 13:00:

well elmo, what can I say...If i werent a heffer with stinky feet and bacne, id be pretty hot.
Kat1, sometimes it can be fun, its fun to do it just for a giggle...its not like i wear my pvc nalga-less dominatrix costume. Although i'd probably do that too for a good laugh...i love making an ass of myself, somehow my bf finds it endearing, go figure.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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panthdave says on Apr 25, 2007, 15:51:

Yes you can't act like she is the boss or be ordered around One saying if you don't give yourself respect than the woman will not give you respect.. You need to have your own opinion and make sure you are heard even if she disagrees..So what get into an argument..I just walk away and go have a beer..while she mopes but if you give in just to make her happy fokin no thats stupid..Thats were you will get screwed..

Respect yourself and the woman will respect you back..Don't even need to use a slap around. Just walk away they hate that..



panthdave Miami

panthdave Miami

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 25, 2007, 15:58:

LOL CK
I love to see a pvc-nalga dominatrix custome hahahhah, if wear one i probably would die laughing..

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podborski says on Apr 25, 2007, 16:22:

send me a photo of you in that outfit kat (or ck) an I'll give you my honest opinion of whether people will laugh at it or not.

You know the other guys here would not tell you the truth, pick me!

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 25, 2007, 20:19:

"I guess Jesus wouldn't have done too well with the Colombianas". Well that depends which Jesus you're talking about? The Pimp Jesus who liked to smoke a lotta dope and get it on with Mary Magdalene might have done pretty good. The sanctimonious bastard Jesus always lecturing people probably would have been sitting by himself in a park somewhere. He wouldn't have done too good. Jesus, the David Copperfield of his time, might have done some miracles that impressed a few Colombianas. Myself, I prefer the Old Testament God. That dude didn't mess around. If he had a bitch that was backtalking him, he would had her smote. Or turned into a pilar of salt. That guy was a mean mother, er, I mean Father.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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andrew24 says on Apr 25, 2007, 21:35:

I think I took this thread too seriously...Sorry, between elmos lamp story (you were cheating on her? lol, now it's starting to sound like you deserved it), and the born-again christian nutball in wisconsin or wyoming or whereever, I felt I had to try to stop the insanity...yes, trying to do that was the mistake.

Cheers!!!



Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. Mark Twain

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David in Idaho says on Apr 25, 2007, 21:52:

Hardly a born again, or even a Christian nor for that matter from Wisconsin. I guess you missed my point. I'll dumb it down for you: Any bitchslapping machista who does call himself a Christian should know he is a hypocrit everytime he raises his fist.

I don't thump bibles or women. I just like to point shit out sometimes.

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David in Idaho says on Apr 26, 2007, 06:26:

I guess that's OK I mean, if Bush can bomb cities back to the stone age and still raise his head proudly in church, I guess some minor bitchslapping shouldn't be enough to excommunicate anyone. But still, it's pretty damn hypocritical. Violence in the name of peace? That's one reason I don't belong to any church.

BTW Andrew, if you came to this site looking for sanity, I suggest you keep looking elsewhere. But if you do choose to participate here on PBH, you'd do well to actually read posts before responding to them, especially if you're going to call people nasty names like "nutball." (That is serious!) I'll try not to use any big words, if that will help you understand better.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 06:45:

ANDREW welcome to pbh and yes dopn't take thing too seriously specially concerning Elmo, he deserves everything he gets, as long as the object is not expensive :P

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sweet160 says on Apr 26, 2007, 06:56:

Seems logic to me David :) "I mean, if Bush can bomb cities back to the stone age and still raise his head proudly in church, I guess some minor bitchslapping shouldn't be enough to excommunicate anyone."

halleluja, Great reasoning I like it!

" its a dog eat dog world, and I will eat your dog! "

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elmodefoque says on Apr 26, 2007, 07:24:

kat mi vida, why do you like that my wify busted a lamp on my head?
I was not doing anything real bad, all i wanted to do was have a little fun on the side. what's wrong with that?

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 07:36:

plop!
plop!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 26, 2007, 07:42:

MIRAAA!!!! donde esta esa vaina que te pedi!!! NO quiero esperar mas!!!

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:16:

pa' que?
pa' que?

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elmodefoque says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:21:

te quiero llama NOJODAAA!!!!
te quiero llama NOJODAAA!!!!

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:28:

ah ok is ah ok my number is 236784902-95895054-[-=405603-950 :)

pero llamame cuando llueva pa' arriba

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elmodefoque says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:31:

Mira kat, I’m tired of talking serious political, racial chit. I rather talk about sex which is one of my strongest forte.
Por so quiero hablar contigo.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:35:

well dear elmo you choose the wrong person to talk about sex...

I rather talk about about chocolates ;)

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elmodefoque says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:40:

chocolate??? como que mejor que sex, tu estas loca pela?
Ok mira, my all time favorite chocolate is Almond Joy

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:45:

mine is Dream ;)

elmo better still give me your telephone number ;))

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 26, 2007, 09:47:

if you hear hee-haw on the other side it's not me, maybe it's one of your burritas

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