PBH / Colombia / Start Forums▼ (active) Travelguide Cheap hostels Pictures

Guy Etiquette?

Hi all!

I've been reading this site for a couple weeks now, and I've found it very interesting. I think there's a lot of first hand experience on here. I'm your average white guy born in the US. I have thought after I graduate I might go to South America to find a nice latina for a wife.

I've got some cuban friends I talk to sometimes, and one time I was talking to this guy about guy etiquette in cuba. He said in cuba he had this girlfriend from another town, and it was common for the women over there to be "given some attention." He said as he would walk with his girlfiend groups of guys would yell out things to her. Some times good, sometimes bad. Or when he would be talking to his girlfiend a man might stand behind him making gestures to his girlfiend with his tongue. Another time, he said his girlfriend told him that some guy had touched her breast. He said the women over there are used to it, so the words, gestures and even the breast touching by strangers isn't that big a deal. It may even be complimentary. However, it can't be done in front of the boyfriend, especially if the catcalls point out that his girlfriend is ugly. So to save face he would usually have two choices, to pretend to not hear or see things, or to fight one or more guys. Not sure that this is necessarily the norm in most latin american countries, but it would be nice to not be surprised during a visit.

This all boils down to... what is guy etiquette in Colombia anyway? If I'm a US guy down in Colombia and catcalls go on as in the above posts, what exactly is culturally expected of me? What would the Colombian men's stated and unstated expectations be for my reaction? What would the Colombian women's stated and unstated expectations be for my reaction?

Sorry for the lengthy post. I'm interested to see what you all think about this.

Thanks,
Aaron

By aaronfromus on Aug 18, 2004, 08:53 in Friendly Talkzone.

Miguel says on Aug 18, 2004, 11:17:

Estoy esperando... For a great response from Elmo on this one! Y tambien, Senor Elmo, give us all a quick refresher on the "papaya" deal.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Aug 18, 2004, 11:59:

In Barranquilla if a guy does catcalls in your presence, your immediate reaction should be to displace that guy’s nose. The tip of the nose should be pointing left or right of his face but it really don’t matter which way. You should also make sure that he has a nice wide gap between his front teeth. His four front teeth should be missing. Don’t worry about giving him a black eye cause once you break his nose I guarantee that he will look like a raccoon. If this is not done your girlfriend and her relatives would lose great respect and you will always be el “gringo pendejo”.
But if you are the one left with a busted nose, mouth and looking like a raccoon, don’t worry cause you will be everybody’s hero and all her female friends will come on to you, no matter if you look like crap.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

ColombiaBoard says on Aug 18, 2004, 20:32:

Mmmm, Look pal, your cuban "friends" don´t seem to be such good friends after all..., in other words, what a bunch of crap!!!, use common sense, these guys seem to want you to get in trouble once to travel to any latin country.
A simple advice about women, everywhere, just show respect and behave like a normal human being.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

daver says on Aug 18, 2004, 22:40:

ColombiaBoard is right. That IS a bunch of crap. Its OK to touch a girls breasts as long as the boyfriend isn't there!?!?!?! Make tongue gestures behind her back? My friends and I did that when we were trying to pick up any girl with 2 legs back when we were 16 years old... but to do that to someones serious girlfriend... a load of crap!

So my advice, if your friends do this sort of thing in Colombia, either get new friends, or suggest they go to Cuba.

Dave

0 funny, 0 helpful.

aaronfromus says on Aug 19, 2004, 08:53:

I hear ya Daver and ColumbiaBoard, non of these cuban guys said they do these things themselves. They were only telling me about what some of the other men do. They were not encouraging me to do these things.

I agree that it does sound like grade school, and someone would have to be really imature or really drunk to do such things. But hey, maybe some of them were really imature or really drunk. I have a hard time relating to that.

I appreciate your straight forward responses. I don't believe my friends are trying to get me in trouble whenever I travel to a latin country. But I do agree that if they were I would need to find some new friends. I also think you hit the nail on the head when you said "just show respect and behave like a normal human being." Only imaginary women want disrespect and guys who act abnormally.

You've confirmed a lot of what I was already thinking, thanks,
Aaron

0 funny, 0 helpful.

daver says on Aug 19, 2004, 10:13:

aaronfromus,

When I was in Colombia, I found, on average, guys treated their girlfriends or wives in a more conservative, more respectful manner than the US. Not a huge amount more, but something I noticed.

When you go to Colombia, I think you will find that Colombians are more refined, more classy, more cultured, and better educated than a lot of other peoples of latin America. Colombian's are also noted for being friendly. Having manners, and being polite and respectful to others are key elements of being friendly. You can't be considered friendly if your sticking your tongue in your buddy's girlfriends ear!

Dave

0 funny, 0 helpful.

utopiacowboy says on Aug 19, 2004, 11:55:

I have never observed any of the type of behavior described in the inital post in Colombia.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

0 funny, 0 helpful.