Gringo Lessons from Sin Tetas no Hay Paraiso by Tom Power

pedro (☼Travelguide writer) says on Dec 31, 2007, 07:13:

kalder says on Dec 31, 2007, 07:49:

Good one Pedro :)

"A piece of cheese may entrap a mouse, but a bicycle could ensnare the Imperial Chancellor."~~An Bai Kuang

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Enrique187 says on Dec 31, 2007, 08:42:

Sin Tetas was my favorite series ever. I haven't gotten around to reading the book yet. Some of the scenes were filmed inside La Whiskeria 49 in Bogota.

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kalder says on Dec 31, 2007, 08:54:

It towered over other telenovellas like the mountains over the foothills.

"A piece of cheese may entrap a mouse, but a bicycle could ensnare the Imperial Chancellor."~~An Bai Kuang

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Leeroy says on Dec 31, 2007, 10:34:

I wasn't a fan - not cheesy enough to be fun, yet not of sufficient quality to be admired. The telenovela, I mean.

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Catfish35 says on Dec 31, 2007, 11:10:

What is "albeiro" ?
First love maybe?
true love?

Thanks,
Catfish

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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tompower says on Dec 31, 2007, 11:40:

albeiro is the name of catalina's boyfriend since she was 11.

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peteyw says on Dec 31, 2007, 11:45:

Ditto: Good One Pedro.

I'll be posting..

Lessons learned about the Irish from watching The Boxer
Lessons learned about African-Americans from watching Shaft
Lessons learned about Aliens from watching Star Wars

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Catfish35 says on Dec 31, 2007, 11:46:

Ok, Thanks, TomP,
I have not seen the movie but heard all about it from the Colombianas in San Jose.
Kinda thought it was first love thing.

Peace
Catfish

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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droble77 says on Dec 31, 2007, 12:13:

lol, Tom there's some truth to what you're saying especially about who and what really pushes these chicas' buttons but it's a bit exaggerated dontcha think. . . ;)

I mean I may be a "lightweight" compared to a "duro" but I'll probably live a lot longer than him and wouldn't trade places with him for the world, or even just a harem of siliconadas. ;))

And speaking of prepagas/siliconadas unless you're dumb or crazy, you wouldn't want a serious relationship with those types so what's the problem?? For fun y placer de vez en cuando quizas si pero novia nunca!! :0)

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tompower says on Dec 31, 2007, 12:45:

When a gringo meets a colombiana and takes her out and spends money on her I think he feels like she's impressed with how hes so rich compared to the average colombian but the point of the story is that we're not rich compared to the drug lords and they DO throw their money around. Sin tetas shows us a little humility when were out and about in colombia, that guy in the Land cruiser with the tinted windows he's the MAN not us.

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tompower says on Dec 31, 2007, 12:46:

oh and those girls know he's the man.

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Enrique187 says on Dec 31, 2007, 13:05:

i want to be like el Titi. did you know they made a movie out of that series? i saw it on ebay-I think it was made by Peruvians and went straight to video.

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Rob77 says on Jan 1, 2008, 09:20:

Yes, the criminal element is everywhere. They are the uneducated worker drones or the narcos. They are not smart enough to keep a low profile and stay alive for a while. Many of the newest members are dropouts from the Paras. But, only the stupidest and/or most desperate of Colombianas are attracted to them.

I don't know about other men on PBH, but that type of woman is worthless to anyone seeking a normal relationship. Go after them, and you will be paying for it the rest of your life, as short as it may be.

There are a few basic rules to apply for foreign men in Colombia. They do not apply to the many desperate guys who only head to Colombia for "chocha" (It is chocha, by the way, not chucha. Chucha is the bad smell from old shoes!) Some basic tips on conduct with a woman you have a serious interest:

1) Never offer to buy gifts.
2) If a woman asks you to buy gifts, tell her it was nice to know her, and split.
3) Don't take her to extravagant restaurants or places you would not normally go if you were alone.
4) Don't spend to impress. Live modestly.
5) Don't brag about financial successes, past or present.
6) Spend time around her family and friends. They will be less likely to hide their true nature. It may give you a glimpse into her own nature, that you have yet to see.

If you cannot impress a woman based on your personality and values, you are setting her and yourself up for serious disappointment later.

Additional background for those not familiar with the type low life with short shelf life in Colombia:

Traqueto:
http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traqueto

Some aged but informative stories:
http://mensual.prensa.com/mensual/contenido/2006/02/11/hoy/mundo/49862...

Colombian Army:
http://www.ejercito.mil.co/index.php?idcategoria=107406

Air Force:
http://www.fac.mil.co/index.php?idcategoria=13017&facmil_2007=970b2b74...

To respond to Tom P, what it illustrated in the novel, tv show, etc., is true, but it is a slice of life here, not the norm. If you are running into these types of men and women, you are chosen the wrong places to hang out. There are far more decent folks just trying to live an honest life here. Try meeting THEM.

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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john_stark says on Jan 1, 2008, 09:35:

In Monteria it's chucha.

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Rob77 says on Jan 1, 2008, 10:16:

"john_stark says on Tuesday January 1st, 2008 9:35:

In Monteria it's chucha."

Chucha: check out #4
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chucha

Chocha:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chocha

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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webmanco says on Jan 1, 2008, 10:56:

Albeiro was Bobeiro at the mockup in Sábados Felices. Other personalities are Catrina, Doña Humilda etc

http://www.elpais.com.co/historico/oct102006/VIVIR/sinesas.html


...


Logro que a su juicio se debe a que “llevamos una realidad tan deplorable como la de la violencia y la mafia a un formato de humor, que nos permite hacer cosas como crear la ‘Escuela mis primeros muñecos’, para sicarios, que en nuestro caso son los cascarios. A quienes se les ordena, por ejemplo, darle piso a alguien. Entonces le ponen baldosas a la víctima cuando se va a bajar del carro�.

O cuando a los alumnos se les dice que tienen que bajar a un fulano, van y lo tumban al suelo y salen en berrionda.

Convencido de que la mamadera de gallo es la mejor forma de distensionar a la adusta Colombia, Heriberto Sandoval, director del taller creativo de Sábados Felices, señala que ‘Sin esas no hay para eso’ no sería lo mismo sin el concurso de las gordas pospago, a las que después de gozadas no les pagan.

No hay extremo cierto o verdadero, porque los extremos opacan, enruedan, (lavan cerebros) verdades. Yotas

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kalder says on Jan 1, 2008, 12:38:

It's chucha in Valle.

"A piece of cheese may entrap a mouse, but a bicycle could ensnare the Imperial Chancellor."~~An Bai Kuang

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slguy says on Jan 1, 2008, 12:47:

I'm no expert - but if elmo says that in B'quilla it's chucha - I'll go with his expertise. jajajajajaja

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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Rob77 says on Jan 1, 2008, 14:13:

"slguy says on Tuesday January 1st, 2008 12:47:

I'm no expert - but if elmo says that in B'quilla it's chucha - I'll go with his expertise. jajajajajaja"

May be debatable whether wanting chocha as bad as Elmo does makes one as much an expert as getting it!

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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tompower says on Jan 1, 2008, 14:18:

in cartagena its chucha

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john_stark says on Jan 1, 2008, 17:10:

You can post all the urls you want dude, you don't know what you're talking about. On the coast, it's chucha y no me importa lo que ellos dicen en las otras partes.

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Enrique187 says on Jan 1, 2008, 19:00:

my rolo relatives use the word chucha to call someone a bobo or idiot. ive heard chocha.

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slguy says on Jan 1, 2008, 20:31:

I never said anything about the quantity....only that anyone that talks about it as much as elmo, I'm fairly confident uses correct terminology. ;)

Seems to be a regional thing, huh?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 06:00:

slguy, may be regional.

GIB, you may want to double check, especially further south, where it is heard more often. I thought my memory might be going on me, but some Rolas confirmed I had it right.

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 06:40:

I had never heard of "chucha" , only "chocha" until I saw Elmo using the chucha when I first started visiting PBH.

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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Tinto (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jan 2, 2008, 06:50:

If it's on YouTube I can't see it. However, the other moderators might be able to see it. Are you a gambling man?

;-)

I wanted access to health care, housing and education, but, no, I get potholes, trash and silicone tits instead. -Desi.

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 06:52:

Elmo, that the: "Homenaje a La Chucha"?

I'm starting to think it really is regional!

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 07:28:

I've always heard it used for stinky shoes. But maybe there is a similarity between the two on the coast, jeje.

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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ColombianoGringo (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 2, 2008, 07:38:

Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 07:43:

Hmmm, maybe they were just comparing my shoe odor to armpit smell...

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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ColombianoGringo (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 2, 2008, 07:50:

Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jan 2, 2008, 10:28:

You want graphics, elmo? here!

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

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manINred says on Jan 2, 2008, 10:31:

isn't a possum zarigueya?

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manINred says on Jan 2, 2008, 10:31:

those things are revolting, they live in the banks of the river running through medellin. yes, the toxic river!

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manINred says on Jan 2, 2008, 10:37:

By the way, the word in question in Medellin is chimba. Forgive me for being crass. In Ecuador, it's chucha.

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 12:06:

manN, you're equating chimba with chocha?

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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Enrique187 says on Jan 2, 2008, 12:53:

yeah I heard paisas tell me it's chimba there.

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 15:00:

Chimba in Medellin means chevere, bacano, etc.

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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Enrique187 says on Jan 2, 2008, 15:47:

yeah chimba=cool, the sh#t, etc. chimba also means the girls' privates, chimbo the guys'

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jan 2, 2008, 15:55:

In Cali chimbo means false, fake, counterfeit, like un cheque chimbo. Also penis.

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

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ColombianoGringo (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 2, 2008, 16:01:

john_stark says on Jan 2, 2008, 16:21:

"guys, stinky feet is PECUECA"

As usual, Elmo is the only guy who knows what he is talking about.

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 18:05:

Pecueca & Chucha are interchangeable in many situations. At least in Bogota!

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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Rob77 says on Jan 2, 2008, 18:18:

Sorry Rocinante, I don't prescribe to the chucha = anatomy line. I'm strictly a chocha man. (Damn that sounds weird.)

BOYCOTT CITGO - CHAVEZ SUCKS!!!

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:20:

So jugo de chimbo is juice of the cool? Hmmm. Just joking.
But I have never heard of chucha in reference to anything but body odor or later as an opossum: until I read Elmo butchering it on PBH as a substitute for chocha. Lots of people here now use the chucha word. But I am telling you, from Puerto Rico, to Mexico, from Chile to El Salvador, they all call it chocha. And so does anybody I have ever met in Colombia. People from Medellin, Cali, Bogota, Villavo, various pueblos. I even asked my aunt's hubby who is from the coast what is chucha. He said chucha is what you don't want your chocha to smell like.

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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john_stark says on Jan 2, 2008, 21:33:

How about the male counterpart to chucha? Is there any agreement on that? I'm in for verga and monda. The Rolos will all be saying it's vergo and mondo hehehehe.

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lpdiver says on Jan 2, 2008, 21:45:

My paisa wife says it's chocha or chimba. When I was learning it she was explaining the spelling to me and said con o y con a. I made up a new "CODE" word. Conoya (con o e ahhh) as in chocha (con o y a). She blushes deep red when I use it around her friends and they are clueless.

t

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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slguy says on Jan 2, 2008, 22:18:

JS- good question. I've heard verga bunches of times- but I'm not sure I want any part of a word used to describe that on ME to be feminine....;)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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Enrique187 says on Jan 2, 2008, 22:39:

la verga=cool or the sh#t too in Bogota, same with "del putas."

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 22:59:

I heard both those words too JS. Verga and monda. And my blushing bride agrees that they are "bad words" for a penis. Chimbo/a depends on the context. It can be "cool", but it can also mean penis or sometimes vagina. Personally, I prefer to say schlong. Yiddish slang cracks me up.

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 23:01:

So I guess "la verga" or "del putas" are similar to "tits", or "that's bitchin"? Maybe even "Fuckin A?"

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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goin_south says on Jan 3, 2008, 01:40:

from the original post:
"....the dark side that lurks inside certain girls in colombia "

Key Word: 'CERTAIN'

which means: not most, but some small portion...
and, if you listen and observe... you can assess which is which.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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Enrique187 says on Jan 3, 2008, 07:05:

yeah robert

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tompower says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:00:

one night i was with my wifes new cartagena friends a bunch of pretensious people living here in canada and she said "Tom show them some of your slang words that the black guys tell you on the beach in cartagena " so i said " cuando regreso a la casa voy a darla a mi mujer mi MUNDAH!" u coulda heard a pin drop. Those ladies never called my wife back. i think GRINGOS should be allowed to say what ever they want if were speaking in spanish they should be thankful and give us a little slack if we call a guy maldito or muerto de hambre i'm just repeating what i've heard i don't really know what it means. My wife says the old cheese I like to eat makes my breath pecueco and shes constantly worried about smelling of grajo. There's one for Elmo Grajo.,... armpit smell.

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Dillard666 says on Jan 3, 2008, 10:38:

good one tom

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 3, 2008, 19:25:

Another phrase for cool is "monja que burro". I am sure I spelled that wrong. But I learned that from a Costeno. I guess it is the coastal slang equivalent of "chevere". (sp?)

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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