Going to Colombia

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:22:

How pasty white are you? TEVA and JESUS SANDALS are not recommended! Neither will shorts and your Chelsea or Liverpool Jersey! Can you hit the tanning salon for a few days in the UK prior to coming over?

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

miamimike says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:27:

Try the Search Function here, this has been disucussed non stop in the recent past. The Jesus Boots will be just fine--two other things to do will gain you big favor:

1) When using a Taxi, upon leaving, always give the Door a good healthy tooth rattling Slam.
2) When using the Bathroom in someone's home, always leave the door open after using it.

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kenziejones says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:35:

yeah, what's with the nobody-wears-shorts thing around here? are peoples' legs afraid of the sun? and also what's up with the no-door-slamming policy? any other local stigmas of interest?

Tasting the world one hot pepper at a time!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

johnny2009 says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:42:

The Colombians are a ruthless people, always strike first.
There are 44 million of the blighters, nobody will notice if you accidentally kill a couple of them

1 funny, 1 helpful.

davidyamiga says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:42:

yea...do not come to "Columbia". it is too "dangerousd".

Otra vez en casa...Cali!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:44:

It is acceptable to wipe your ass and throw the smeared paper in the wastebasket along side the toilet. I wish this were not true.

Actually, sandals are for the beach in Colombia.

Protect your feet.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

suizo says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:45:

first time I came to Colombia the embassy told me I should send them my complete itinerary, contact details etc...

Crackheads suck!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:50:

"It is acceptable to wipe your ass and throw the smeared paper in the wastebasket along side the toilet. I wish this were not true"

Not me bro.. afuera la ventana!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

2 funny, 0 helpful.

kenblanquito says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:50:

Pie
Half of this will be stupidity and crap.
I will send you a message
chao

1 funny, 1 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:50:

Kenzie,

Colombia used to be a very formal country as far as dress was concerned. Not as much as it used to, but shorts are still considered something to only use when playing sports or at the beach. It is a cultural thing.

As for slamming cab doors(cause Colombians slam the hell out of there home doors) cars are very expensive in Colombia and most are pretty flimsy and not as heavy or well made(with springs) like you have in the states. So people do not wanting you potentially breaking their stuff.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 11:56:

Ken,

No sandals, no shorts(unless on the coast or where its hot), and no slamming car doors are all sound pieces of advice.

And do not eat off the street carts.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Aji1 says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:01:

go ahead and eat from the street vendors. You need to get those cumbia dancing amoebas and bacteria in your gut sooner or later.

take some Imodium with you just in case.

I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

0 funny, 1 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:03:

Ubre de vaca.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:05:

4 things only I eat off carts. BUNELOS, CHUZO, SALCHIPAPAS, Crispetas... and Thats it! No chitlins or other body parts off carts here!!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:11:

Ken? Stupidity and Crap? I havent heard one off the wall comment in this thread. Seriously.. And believe me there is nothing you claim to know that some of us here wont, thats for sure.. jajajajajajaja

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:12:

PCL,

Come on, you have never been a little dingy bar or cafe and some women brings in this black cauldron full of snouts, anuses, and spleens, and sells little bowls or bags of it?

When you come to Manizales I will bring you La Cigarra downtown. This huge cafe downtown. Great shoeshines and all the crazy old men in town hanging out in front of the courthouse.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Aji1 says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:19:

OMG! My Colombiana loves those things, chunchullo. Guacala!!!

Yo siempre dice, "gracias pero no mi gusta caca asada". She buys them from a Mexican store here in the US. Guacala!!!

An observation on my part from traveling around in different countries. If you see crowds of people buying from a street vendor go for it, local do know. No crowd, steer clear.

I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

davidyamiga says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:23:

That is a really good comment AJI. I figure if more than 10 colombianos are standing together, I can do the same!

Otra vez en casa...Cali!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Aji1 says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:25:

So there u go!

I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:31:

My Colombian grandmother would rise out of the grave and haunt me if I ate anything on the street.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dguittar says on Sep 8, 2009, 12:38:

Columbia is safe if you use some standard travel rules. My son, John, has been working at the university in Medellin for about 3 months. No problems. However, he does stay with students at the university and he speaks excellent Spanish. Use the same rules you would use in NYC. However, I do take my kids boarding when we visit NY, right under the Brooklyn Bridge. (Best boarding in Manhattan)
Yes, you could dress up a little, it doesn't hurt much. John even got a haircut!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kenblanquito says on Sep 8, 2009, 13:03:

OK, my apologies to the likes of flatline etc; it is just that usually a post like this attracts a mixture of cynicism and stupidity which was already beginning to creep in and all that pieman wants is some really decent advice from all who have significant experience of being here. I am happy to stand corrected!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 13:16:

Azuno,

I mince around Colombia all the time in my short shorts and fishnets.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Aji1 says on Sep 8, 2009, 13:18:

TFL

Pictures please!!!! I need some decoration for Halloween... :)

I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 8, 2009, 13:28:

The absolute Freshest salchicpapas, and papitas fritos in Belen right outside the entrance to the University of Medellin.. also some amazing eyecandy while waiting for the ole lady to get out of class.. Holy Shit!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

davidyamiga says on Sep 8, 2009, 13:49:

I am surprised at you PCL! I thought you were in a hegemonomous relationship.

Otra vez en casa...Cali!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 8, 2009, 13:56:

you're in good hands pie man. we're gettin you all set up in a place where you and the friend will be safe, comfortable and happy. nothing in that area is to worry about. nothing wierd, dangerous or offish. just prepare to enjoy yourself, not to defend yourself.
d

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

thepieman says on Sep 8, 2009, 15:25:

thanks guys.. my post was a little tongue in cheek but truthfully wanted some tips on what not to do..
im flying aviancA madrid to bogota and then to medellin.. what is the flight like.. do you get a movie?
what would be best currency to bring ? euros or dollars?
I wont do a loopy and continually ask more questions so thanks once again

0 funny, 0 helpful.

theflatline says on Sep 8, 2009, 15:31:

thepieman,

They have been showing those crappy "high school movies"

Bring an ATM card, about 200 bucks in cash, and make sure to tell you bank you are going to use it in colombia.

Legaleez for Complete Morons - A book for gringos in Colombia for who think they understand the nature of the law in a country where they cannot speak the language.

0 funny, 1 helpful.

wwwhitey says on Sep 8, 2009, 15:53:

Never leave your drink unattended, and don't eat food/drink offered to you by strangers.

Search this forum (top right) under burundanga, escopalamina, scopolamine for more information.

Whitey

0 funny, 0 helpful.

thepieman says on Sep 8, 2009, 16:37:

thanks whitey its scaary stuff.. i may be a gringo but im british and skint will i still be a target or is it the loud yanks and frenchies(no offence cousins)

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Papi de Alejo says on Sep 8, 2009, 16:37:

Davidyamiga: "hegemonomous relationship." I'm here puzzling at the significance of such a relationship. But it seems to fit. Take all the women you can grab!!!! Hmmm! Sounds like PCL.No wonder there putting up a border around Santa Marta.

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 8, 2009, 17:12:

damn papi your soundling like flatline

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Papi de Alejo says on Sep 8, 2009, 18:03:

Douglas, I was working on a project today that was boring the tears out of me and I took solace on PBH with PCL and flatline. Not sure what they were doing, but I certainly shouldn't have been doing what I was doing. But it was fun. I managed to finish the project. I didn't think that it was all that but the second in command came to my desk to ask for some window dressing changes and asked me to share it with her colleagues.

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 03:32:

just curious.....how's that second in command......i got some window dressing.

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Papi de Alejo says on Sep 9, 2009, 03:48:

You gotta behave Doug. I now on the learning end of similar liefe experiences to your own. I'm trying to figure which way is up without trying to dress too many windows. BTW, she is the best of all the jefes. She actually listens and takes into account what is said before she decides how to proceed. Don't think that she'll last too long. What a pity.

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 04:10:

without exposing myself......i wasn't referring to her business skills.

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

davidyamiga says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:03:

Douglas...please do not expose yourself! And what, you are looking for number 8?

Otra vez en casa...Cali!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:09:

i want a girl, just like the girl, that daddy had on the side.

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:09:

heh david..........who's the amiga?

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Papi de Alejo says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:39:

I was with you from the beginning, Doug. Suffice it to say that the pretty ones rarely make it to the lofty heights of management.

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:41:

correct! they get waylayed by cads like me. some how on that perilous trec to the heights of corporate heirarchy they forget that there's gold in them thar loins.

patriarch

1 funny, 0 helpful.

Papi de Alejo says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:44:

You have to stop preventing the cream from rising to the top. Don't know what kind of milk you get that way.

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 05:55:

regarding that 'cream', i think i might have had a substitute in mind.

patriarch

1 funny, 0 helpful.

davidyamiga says on Sep 9, 2009, 06:44:

YOU DIRTY OLD MAN!

Otra vez en casa...Cali!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 07:24:

that's what all the guilty say.

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

manINred says on Sep 9, 2009, 07:39:

You can wear football shirts, including Liverpool and Chelsea ones, since Colombians wear them all the time. Just be cautious when there's a huge football match about what colours you are sporting. I have a friend who was almost killed because of an unfortunate choice in clothing in Medellin.

If in doubt about safety, stick to Lleras and Tesoro, but I urge you to explore the countryside, it is very worthwhile. You'll probably get a better exchange rate if you withdraw pesos from a bank machine rather than taking dollars/euros/pounds and exchanging in Colombia.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

thepieman says on Sep 9, 2009, 10:19:

ha thanks man in red i just bought some dollars tho.. i blame the flatline

0 funny, 0 helpful.

dwmte7 says on Sep 9, 2009, 11:41:

alan..........when you give your friend margarita's number, tell her to ask her for maria teresa's number in por venir. i'll keep looking for the other woman's number.
d

patriarch

0 funny, 0 helpful.

thepieman says on Sep 10, 2009, 08:46:

thanks for your help doug :)

0 funny, 0 helpful.