Funny chit Colombians have to face

Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 20, 2007, 11:50:

With Good friends like that, who needs enemies.

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elmodefoque says on Mar 20, 2007, 11:54:

i got him a permiso for 6 mil pesos, he's good to go

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Azul says on Mar 20, 2007, 12:00:

where is the farm located? .....not that I want to go with him :-)

las cosas caen por su propio peso

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elmodefoque says on Mar 20, 2007, 12:03:

hey DG, not this area. this place is not near any major highway. no mans's land.
he;s trying to find a taxi that takes gasoline, he's taxi only takes gas, but no one wants to have their taxi burned by guerrilleros/paracos.
for this trip you gotta bring your own fuel and pray you don't brake down cus the only ones showing up will be coming outta the jungle wearing uniforms with rubber boots.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Tinto (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 20, 2007, 12:04:

For the sake of the passengers, I hope your nephew has more than one Diomedes Diaz compact disk.



Six hours / 40 minutes per CD = The same damn CD nine times in a row!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 20, 2007, 12:07:

i got him and MP3 car radio with over 60 hours of vallenato non stop, if that don't kill you nothing will

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 20, 2007, 12:45:

I also told him not to be such a coward; he’s brining shame to our family. He wants to wait until I get back to Quilla so we could all go together.
WHAT??????? HELLL FOKIN NOOOO I aint going anywhere near there, I don’t want no AK-47 totting modefoque raping me up my ass, I got fokin hemorrhoids

I'll get there, when I get there!

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webmanco says on Mar 20, 2007, 12:46:

Even with a gun he would not go.
He better calls Rambo, or GIB or El Chapulin Colorao. That way Guerillas and Paracos will have more fun

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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cali373 says on Mar 20, 2007, 13:45:

Well first of all my captalist tendencies would first ask the question: How much am I getting paid then deduct any risk assessments I can come up with. If it sounds alot more profitable than working for 12 hours in Barranquilla , then go for it.

How much was the lady offering?

Smile if you are a thinker!

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cali373 says on Mar 20, 2007, 14:03:

The other option would be to look for a Paraco (should not be hard to find in the northern coast) and offer to pay him/her for company a on long cab ride, just not metion the final destination. In the event of a guerilla run-in just offer to give up the paraco as collateral until you go back to look for ransom money. Then conveniently forget about it. This way it's a three-way win situation. Cab driver gets money for the trip, the guerillas feel good kidnapping a person, and Uribe wins by actually getting of a paraco.

Smile if you are a thinker!

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Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 20, 2007, 14:04:

Of course, Elmo's Colombian cousin would get paid about $12,000 pesos to go work in Iraq, so maybe it's not such a good deal after all.

Elmo's just afraid to go back to where there's no flush toilets and where his "expertise" isn't marketable any more.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 20, 2007, 14:39:

Hah Cali, I like the way you think.

Of course, if Baranquilla is anything like Santa Marta, the cabbies are already either paracos or at least working for a paraco owner. I was amazed how open the SM taxistas I met were about the fact that their business owner was a big AUC guy who kept the taxi business so he would always "know what's going on" around town.

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goin_south says on Mar 20, 2007, 15:18:

Colombian Mythology todos.

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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Azul says on Mar 20, 2007, 17:19:

I don't know Feliz I asked around and was told that many of the taxi drivers are infact paracos in Cartagena and Santa Marta. I asked about Barranquilla and was told no, I'm not sure why though... Although the people that I know are pro AUC, I guess they think that anyone who fights the FARC cannot be ALL bad.

las cosas caen por su propio peso

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poco says on Mar 20, 2007, 18:35:

You need a disguise They take the bus everywhere and never had a problem.

She should disguise herself as a gallina, sit on top the bus and take a small container of vasaline in case she runs a group that has lost their burro.



Cluck, cluck, Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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kalder says on Mar 21, 2007, 01:53:

What is it with you Americans, North and South, and male rape? You sure seem to share a culture of 'botty burgling'. What with the US prison system, now you're telling me the Colombian terrorists go in for it as well? Horrors!

British prisons might be festering, overcrowded sh*thouses, but the guards don't tolerate any rape culture (plus the fact that sentencing is so lenient, the crims don't have the time to acquire the taste for it).

And I can't picture the IRA putting down their rosary beads and the UVF putting their Bibles to one side to indulge in a little uphill gardening either.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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caslug says on Mar 21, 2007, 04:26:

didnt churchill say.. Royal Navy was ALL about "flogging and sodomy"?.. so i dont know how you can say only N. American joke about male rape...

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kalder says on Mar 21, 2007, 05:29:

Maybe you boys have a point.

On the Continent, the use of flagellation for sexual purposes is known as the 'English Vice'.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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gringolondinense says on Mar 21, 2007, 05:33:

Buggery In the USA.... has anyone seen the film "Deliverance"?

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 06:34:

Hey DG come on let’s go on this Hey DG come on let’s go on this trip.
The farm is located near a tiny village called Mataperro, Norte de Bolivar. The nearest paved road is about 30 miles away. The place is infested with PARACOS, FARC and ELN.
The question is not whether we’re gonna get captured but who’s gonna get us first.
FARC with the nice looking guerrilleras (below) will not rape us but may keep us and burn the taxi. Forget about showing her your pretty blue eyes, SHE’S NOTHING like the Colombian women you’ve met, she don't like gringos. This very tough and proud colombian chick will stick the barrel of her AK-47 deep inside your ass. I, on the other hand might have a chance to pork her.

Now if this PARACO (below) get you.
He’s gonna keep the taxi and rape us up the ass (you go first) and then let us go. Now we got another problem, after they let us go what is ELN gonna do with us.
Colombia is not some Hollywood movie, this armed groups do exist and are out there as crazy as ever

I'll get there, when I get there!

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gringolondinense says on Mar 21, 2007, 06:47:

Now let's you just drop them pants!!!!!!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 07:05:

Hey DG, I change my mind, I voluntteer to get pork first.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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toneloc24 says on Mar 21, 2007, 07:06:

Elmo I think I met that dude driving a taxi in Cali. LOL!!!.

And seriously, with the booty bandits crap. No bigger freaks than the Romans and Greeks. Don't blame the johnny-cum-lately North and South Americans prison rape dudes. Blame the Europeans, who many of you hold in high regard. LOL!!!

You gotta watch Rome (on HBO) for the visuals alone. Of all the homo scenes (which number in the teens this season alone), I believe only one or two were forcible rapes. Most of those scenes were old dudes screwing young boys, slaves or not.

"PBH is dead!!!!"

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gringolondinense says on Mar 21, 2007, 07:24:

talking about American bummer-boys... theres a "great" scene in Escape from Alcatraz where Clint brushes off a slightly amorous guy in the shower block!!! Another classic film :-)

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cali373 says on Mar 21, 2007, 07:24:

That girl is a FARC!!! Damn I cannot wait to go back to Colombia!

Smile if you are a thinker!

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Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:00:

FARC chicks He hasn't been around here for a long time but user Platano just couldn't stop talking about the hot guerilla chicks who "guarded" him when he was kidnapped way back when.

Of course, she looks about 15, so you might get tried as a sex tourist once you finally make it home.

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:01:

do they have a farc chick calendar?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Tinto (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:21:

That FARC chick has been floating around the internet for at least four or five years. If you type "FARC" into Google Images there are a couple more of her.

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:34:

Who’s in charge of FARC’S public relations department?
I got a great idea for raising funds and at the same time promoting for more female recruits.
At a very reasonable price of $19.99 US per, we could put together a beautiful calendar of 12 very pretty and voluptuous FARC girls fully naked with only their AK- 47 hiding there most private parts. All pictures to be taken in different positions and locations through out the Colombian jungle. Cooling and resting near a crystal clear cool creek in the middle of the jungle. Climbing up a coconut tree, guarding prisoners. Laying face down (see sample pic below) spread eagle waiting to ambush enemy soldiers. All fully nude but in good taste.
Working in the TV business I’ve picked up a thing or two.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:44:

the worlds most perfect ASS. COLOMBIANA!!
BETTER THAN J-LO

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:45:

damn, them is some ugly modefoques to be raped by. I look just like them.
Hey GB, i change my mind again, you go first.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 21, 2007, 11:49:

Is this the same girl?


Cheers,
Desi
"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe
they are free." —Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 12:01:

the best that ever walked this planet!!!
look at that tiny waist.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 21, 2007, 12:08:

i think so too, i swear. i'll give her my entire 401k if she stays with me in a hotel room for one year with out coming out. we have room service for everything. After the year is over, i'll kill myself, cus life would be usless, have no meaning with out her. no other broad would come even close

I'll get there, when I get there!

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cali373 says on Mar 21, 2007, 13:15:

Alright Tinto, we believe you ok.

Enough about that. DAMN, that is a very nice ass. Elmo, Did you find that pic on the internet or did you creep up on her. Did she smack you in the face after you took the photo. Hell, I would not mind a slap if it meant a real life close up of that!

Smile if you are a thinker!

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cali373 says on Mar 21, 2007, 13:21:

I found more of them

Cheers,

Smile if you are a thinker!

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southern151 says on Mar 21, 2007, 15:18:

Elmo... Unlike other pics that you have posted here, I have to say that you did one helluva job on that one. Hold on, I gotta look at that thing again...Ok...Damn! That thing is BEAUTIFUL!

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goin_south says on Mar 21, 2007, 17:14:

yeah, he must have got that off latinlovelines.com

Why Not Colombia?..........Stay Tuned, for more.... utterly worthless, self-indulgent gobbets of nonsense.

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