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For those who doubt Elmo’s true profession

I work for a very prestigious, highly respected TV station in the heart of Manhattan “La Capital del Mundo” and my job was to write very simple program descriptions.
Though my grammar is horrendous I got by with a little help from my friends, vastly qualified Harvard educated Editors. I did this for a number of years but the pay was not up to par.
I heard of an opening in the maintence department. The job required daily upkeep of all men’s rooms in the floor which my company occupies.
I enquired about the position and as soon as I heard it was a Union job that immediately peeked my interest.
In NYC unions are extremely well paid. A NYC Union sanitation man makes a LOT more than most office workers. A union construction worker makes up to 75 dollars an hour. A union school custodian makes more than two teachers combined and so on.
As a union men’s room attendant I now make as much or more than my ex boss, head of the communications department. .

By elmodefoque on May 9, 2007, 05:49 in Friendly Talkzone.

podborski says on May 9, 2007, 05:51:

I still don't believe you but it's another good story.

I think the former job sounds more accurate...

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 2007, 06:00:

Agree Pod, even though he is always full of sh***

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aztec says on May 9, 2007, 06:11:

Well I do believe him. It makes sense and the union jobs are well paying. Easy to see why he will retire well off and looking forward to paradise in Colombia. He will have enough pension money to be Don Elmo!

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gringolondinense says on May 9, 2007, 06:22:

or MIB Modefoque In Baranquilla!!

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elmodefoque says on May 9, 2007, 06:28:

thanks Aztec, the only problem with my job is we no longer have a pension only a fantastic 401k plan which I can’t touch until I’m 59 ½ , quite a few years from now.
When I hit that age, if I make it, I’m gonna have the biggest fokin smile in all south curramba. Hookers, booze and chicharron every day until I fokin croak

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CaritadeAngel says on May 9, 2007, 06:31:

Poem by Martin Espada
Jorge the Church Janitor Finally Quits

No one asks
where I am from,
I must be
from the country of janitors,
I have always mopped this floor.
Honduras, you are a squatter's camp
outside the city
of their understanding.

No one can speak
my name,
I host the fiesta
of the bathroom,
stirring the toilet
like a punchbowl.
The Spanish music of my name
is lost
when the guests complain
about toilet paper.

What they say
must be true:
I am smart,
but I have a bad attitude.

No one knows
that I quit tonight,
maybe the mop
will push on without me,
sniffing along the floor
like a crazy squid
with stringy gray tentacles.
They will call it Jorge.

"Five things bring us closer to the unseen: the act of love, the birth of a baby, being in the pressence of death or disaster, the contemplation of great art, and the human voice lifted in song".

"I hope I never say anything worth quoting".

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kalder says on May 9, 2007, 09:30:

I like that poem.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 9, 2007, 11:50:

Do they have a Janitors Olympics in NYC? sort of like the Gang Olympics in the movie "I Am Gonna Get You Sucka" in LA?

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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morphus says on May 9, 2007, 13:37:

I thought Elmo was an office worker. Every time we meet for drinks, he's wearing a suit and tie.

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Man Tequila says on May 9, 2007, 14:06:

An Ode to Mr. Modefoque
The An Ode to Mr. Modefoque

The paper goes fast at the end of the roll.
Like life. If you don't have a square to spare,
Getting some more becomes your only goal.

Maybe there is a toilet paper fairy.
Who sneaks in stalls at night to make things right
You wipe away your sins, but you're still hairy.

Fuck the white chickens and red wheelbarrows.
Johns in the city still like to look pretty
And keep things on the straight and narrow.

So much depends, when sitting on the throne
On having a clean place to sit and paper post chit
Gifts of the magi you can call your own.

Aunque no me creas/ si me lo propongo/ lograre olvidarte/ porque a fin de cuentas/ no soy tan cobarde./ Y termino todo una de estas tardes/ no sera dificil buscar algún sitio donde refugiarme/ donde nunca mas vuelvas a encontrarme. (Polo Montañez)

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Man Tequila says on May 9, 2007, 14:33:

If you are intersted in buying land on Uranus, here is a good websit.

http://www.buyuranus.com/

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 2007, 14:40:

uhm interesting Man Tequila, maybe I could buy a bit of land and send Elmo on holiday there I even will offer to buy him the ticket (one way of course) :))

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scotty says on May 9, 2007, 15:11:

i say congradulations young man you are on your way to the top.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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goin_south says on May 9, 2007, 16:29:

so, tell us mr elmodefoq: where did the expression come from: 'when the shit hits the fan'?

Where do we go from here?

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manuel3 says on May 10, 2007, 03:06:

Just out of curiosity Elmo, during your extensive experience as a sanitation expert have you ever had to deal with clients who had their rear end scorched by a bidet (see news item below) ? I mean imagine having eaten a delicious but fiery hot curry last night and this morning you know you're going to have to pay the price when you go to the bathroom. Then you say to yourself that straight after dumping you will be able to cool things down using the bidet and then the thing goes on full afterburner.

This is from the Associated Press in Tokyo

The Japan Warm Water Bidet Council, which represents nine bidet manufacturers, reported at least 105 cases of incidents involving flaming or smoking bidet toilets since 1984, the trade ministry has revealed. The council's website urged bidet users to be careful, saying units should be turned off immediately at any sign of overheating. It said the council was further investigating the incidents. Flames scorched bathroom walls and ceilings in some cases, but there were no injuries. High-tech toilets fitted with warm water sprayers and dryers are a standard fixture in Japanese homes.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 2007, 05:35:

Elmo call me when you are 59 ½ ;)

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bueno_pues says on May 10, 2007, 06:09:

Y entonces? Vas a felicitarlo?

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 2007, 06:15:

of course jijij
of course jijij

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gringolondinense says on May 10, 2007, 06:28:

aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww Kat youre a hard lady sometimes :-). Poor elmo!

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Miguel says on May 10, 2007, 08:40:

Hard elmo Poor kat1.

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elmodefoque says on May 10, 2007, 08:46:

As head janitor for my company and Union representative for all New York City I’ve been chosen to be this year’s commencement speaker at our annual CCA or Crap Cleaners of America convention. Thus the reason why I’ve been so busy. Is quite difficult sitting here and writing a 45 minute speech, how much chit can I talk about?
I’ve also been chosen to design this year’s award for outstanding janitor of the year.
I‘ve considered various designs and so far I’m leaning toward a replica of the original Crapper toilet.
I really must give credit to our British PBH members, Kalder and GL for enlighten me to their pride and joy Sir Thomas Crapper of England, inventor of the first toilet.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 2007, 08:47:

hard elmo?

Elmo I don't think is difficult for you to speak chit, it comes naturally to you..:)

Elmo is The Toilet Paper Fairy :))

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elmodefoque says on May 10, 2007, 09:01:

mira kat, these conventions are black-tie tuxedo events.
you see me in a tuxedo y te vas a poner loca, you gonna force yourself on me over and over and over.....

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 2007, 09:27:

umm looking forward to see umm looking forward to see a pict.

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Miguel says on May 10, 2007, 09:39:

Jejeje I saw elmo's ugly ass in a put-on suit while finally getting his cédula outside the local goverment site in Quilla. He looked like he was in a coffin.

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elmodefoque says on May 10, 2007, 09:45:

miquel, that is one scary picture, is like looking at my own death jjijijijj

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 2007, 10:37:

I want to see it :)
I want to see it :)

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webmanco says on May 10, 2007, 11:27:

CCNA ELMO you just missed one N in order to be a Cisco Certified Network Administrator.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 10, 2007, 22:15:

Crap Artists & Cleaners of America.....C.A.C.A =P Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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sweetg30 says on May 11, 2007, 06:22:

Hello Elmo Barranquilla te mando sus saludos y tu burrita tambien, i just came back and i'm already missing las butifarras y el bollo de limpio con suero mmmmm, so can you get me a cleaning job? i need some extra money

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sweetg30 says on May 11, 2007, 06:24:

I like it C.A.C.A. Hello miguel,

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Man Tequila says on May 11, 2007, 07:17:

You know how it is with these "sanitation engineers".

Pretty soon will be calling themselves
Crap Hygiene Implementation Technologists (CHIT).

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 11, 2007, 10:11:

Welcome back, SweetG30!..Ready to raise more hell here?? jajaja Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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goin_south says on May 12, 2007, 23:37:

Elmo's 'true profession' is not cleaning chit; it is talking/writing chit.

Where do we go from here?

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webmanco says on May 13, 2007, 16:34:

Hopefully Elmo uses the right tools of the trade as well.

Funny Hotel Room Service

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Man Tequila says on May 13, 2007, 18:33:

When Elmo goes to Barranquilla, he probably tells the costeñas that he has been "sanitized for their protection".

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 14, 2007, 12:26:

Elmo Halloween Costume....
Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 15, 2007, 16:48:

Elmos Pimped Ride has been spotted!

i guess he is actually a "Comfortable Living Specialist"!!!!

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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webmanco says on May 15, 2007, 17:20:

Waiting for work call

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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elmodefoque says on May 16, 2007, 07:26:

damn, where do you guys get those real funny pics, i almost pee my fokin pants from laughing.

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sweetg30 says on May 22, 2007, 19:21:

no miguel i'm not raising hell most of the people over here can't take my strong opinions,
so i'll let them be happy, feliz como una lombriz

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 22, 2007, 19:39:

hope you are getting a kick out of todays postings!!! jajaja Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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webmanco says on May 24, 2007, 11:04:

One more !

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Miguel_Clavo says on May 24, 2007, 11:06:

ummmm...Webmanco, what were you doing in the ladies restroom with a camera?? jajajja..

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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lochdhu says on May 24, 2007, 17:05:

At least he's taking pic's in the ladies room, I'd be more worried if he was doing it in the men's room!

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