Familia in Colombia always asking for money

utopiacowboy says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:20:

My wife's family has never asked for money from us. I think the behavior varies with the individuals involved.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Dan says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:23:

I thought a lot of Colombians took vacations much of the time. I guess it depends on their own finances too. but a few weeks at a time for each? that just seems like a lot.

God Bless America!

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:29:

vacations in Colombia Colombia has plenty of religious/national holidays and "puentes" and people like to get away for a weekend or so, but most Colombians don't have more then a couple of weeks paid vacations in a year. Here where I live (Scandinavia) I have a little over six weeks of paid vacation every year and in many European countries they have even more than that, I believe.

My "family" in Colombia always thought I have all the priviledges and comforts tha money can buy. Thet were wrong, of course, I have to work hard to earn every penny and save up to be able to take my trips to Colombia, which doesn't happen every year. However, they don't seem to understand that.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Save the Wildcats says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:31:

I think Americans can be like that, too... I know lots of them like that here. My friend in Colombia, on the other hand, never asks for a thing, but is always appreciative with anything I send.

You didn't ask for advice, but when people get pushy, I cut them off. You don't need or deserve that. I do think we have a better life here than many people out of the country, but we work hard, too, and should have some say in where our money goes and not just feel compelled to give it to people that nag us for it.

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:46:

It's just the mentality Colombians,in Colombia see too many American movies, and hear about all the things that Colombians buy when they get here. They don't understand that the money, at least in the US, does not come easy. They also don't understand that, like you mentioned Rola, that the expenses are endless. Simply put, they think that the money falls from the sky like rain.

One thing is certain however, never, ever believe that you are going to get pasi back--NEVER! First of all, my father had a very valid theory that essentially said, that ---- If the person asking you for money doesn't have the money when he asks you for the loan, what makes you think that he is going to have the money when it's time to pay you back. In Colombia that is even more true, if a person asks you to lend him $500 dollars, with the average Colombian earning in the area of $150 a month, how could you possible thing you are ever going to see tha money again...Kiss it good by!!

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isaactraveler says on Jan 22, 2005, 15:58:

here is an interesting twist on loaning money sometimes, loaning a small amount of money to someone is the absolute easiest way to never see them again. This works great for annoying relatives and pain in the ass co-workers, and fair weather friends.

the trick is to keep it less than $100

If you figure out how much less time you have to deal with that annoying person, it really is a small investment. Right now I have two deadbeats that avoid me like the plague. life is good.

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:01:

Can you lend me $50, Isaac?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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RolaParaTodaLaVida says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:03:

people will ask no matter what their financial status is My family is diverse. Some have received college degrees while others are blue collar workers. Either way the ones that can make something happen are the first to ask me. One has his own auto shop and says business is good and will still ask for a few thousand dollars so he may purchase a car! Then there are others that work three jobs and they would never think of asking for a penny.
When I was in Colombia my sister, cousin and I gave my aunt $100 dollars to help her out with the expenses for the two weeks we stayed with her. She cooked, took of from work to take us out, clean her home and made us very comfortable. We were princess for those two weeks. But when we gave her the money, she said thank you I had a funny feeling I had insulted her. Then later on she cried and said how thankful she was and told me that her mortgage is about equivalent to $90 U.S dollars/per month. She wasn't insulted but in amazement that we were so thoughtful.
The difference is that a mortgage payment in New York ranges from $1,500 and higher. This could be the rent for a one small bedroom (with barely any space) in New York City or a mortgage to a very small home in the suburbs (Long Island). Salaries vary from $30,000.00 a year and up. Most families work two jobs to make enough to get by. And I thought giving my aunt $90 dollars was not enough for the hospitality and the attention she had given us for the two weeks we stayed with her. I knew that she would appreciate it and deserved it. For her I wish I could do more.
But for the rest, who think that they can ask, well they can continue to ask all they want but I will continue to ignore them.
Please do add your comments. I was merely posting this forum as my opinion/experience rather than to ask for advice. I know that I can not extend any financial help. When I do help the fist person I think of is always my 85 year old grandfather that has Parkinson’s disease and not to the 7 healthy aunts and uncles, their spouses and my 23 healthy cousins.
One thing is to be in need of money due to a health emergency, and another to have a need for “material” gain.

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:07:

the oldgringo always says... if you lend your money to a friend..
you lose the money, and/or you lose the friend.

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kernow62 says on Jan 22, 2005, 21:09:

Isaac, that is just what I did. I loaned $20 to this guy who used to pester me all the time and I never saw him for 3 years. The best $20 I ever spent. I have used this ploy countless times since.

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rfonteno says on Jan 22, 2005, 21:26:

WOW!
I have heard of people spending money to buy friends but to lose them?

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gabriel says on Jan 24, 2005, 04:13:

Matter of fact my wife just told me that, my suegro was asking for money to pay for my sister-in-law tuition, she's attending la universidad del valle. My suegro has a decent job he's a english professor, sad thing is that he has to wait months sometimes to get his check.
I guess the city or el departamento run out of money and the teachers have no other choice but to wait. I don't know how anybody could live not knowing when you're going to get paid.

Yerba mala nunca muere....

Yerba mala nunca muere....

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 24, 2005, 08:56:

Unfortunately this is typical. One of the country's largest companies, Coltejer, has difficulties paying its employees on time (and frequently doesn't). Of course to hear people on this site tell it, Colombians have it much better than here and in the bad ol' US they are living in misery. Yeah, well at least we're getting paid on time!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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silviat says on Mar 19, 2005, 11:44:

Every situation is different but... Knowing my family as I do, they would rather eat rice and potatoes everyday than ever asking money from my fiance or from anyone.

So I dont think you should say

"Why is it that people in Colombia don't find anything wrong with asking for money!"

but

"Why is it that people from my family in Colombia don't find anything wrong with asking for money"

Generalizations!

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platano says on Mar 19, 2005, 12:48:

The answer could be the same in Colombia and USA
Regarding questions about money there are various correct answers:

"El salario no me alcanza...."

"Estoy sin cinco....

"Estoy colgado...."

"En este momento no tengo nada....."

"Tanta culebra y no hay suficiente plata...."

"Lo siento, pero no estoy en condiciones...."

"Pero, si, es que no tengo porque ya me deben y no paguen...."

plátano

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poco says on Mar 19, 2005, 15:30:

Not MY experience Knowing my family as I do, they would rather eat rice and potatoes everyday than ever asking money from my fiancé or from anyone.

My experience is similar, the people I visit, (walk by and say HI) in Colombia offer a cup of coffee, juice, fruit, cake, arapa, frozen jello on a stick etc. They may insist on joining them for lunch where they will serve, among other things, chicken soup with a big chicken leg, breast or thigh. This is NOT their daily entree. I've started taking a bag of coffee, fruit, a dozen eggs etc. on random occasions. This is acceptable, a sign of appreciation? (makes me feel better?). NO MONEY,, unless of course they are providing some sort of service,, In my case, watching and feeding the kid if we are out of town. Think at age 17 they can take care of themselves? you bet they can, no problem,, you should his girlfriend(s). This "kid" DOES NOT need be "alone" at night.

When visiting an out of town relative I stay in a hotel. I like getting up in the morning, making coffee, etc BEFORE I get dressed. I like the freedom. Colombia is DIFFERENT, they EXPECT you to stay at their house, feed you until you explode while waiting on you hand and foot. WEIRD americano seems to be OK but an explanation for the Hotel is necessary to avoid the insult and rudness. This is NOT just me any visiting relative is accorded the same treatment. The novelty factor does get me something. Kind of like a Russian showing up in small town Oklahoma.

Took me a about a year to figure this out because it was totally unexpected.

I never have been and probably never will be asked for money, not so much as a peso. Not so much as "will you buy me these shoes",, that says something in itself.

Asking for money is what Prostitutes do and NO self respecting Colombian woman wants to be "pegged" a prostitute, especially in a rural town. They are an Amante (lover). The United States equal is "Living with your girlfriend" and acting accordingly. NO other Amante. One "known" Amante per person. Others will be considered a whore or prostitute, depending. The name Bobbit just crossed my mind.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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sarahann says on Mar 19, 2005, 15:54:

My bf & I lived w/ his Colombian parents in NYC for a semester while looking for an apartment. They never asked for a dime. My bf didn't want me to give them anything either.

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Zepp says on Mar 19, 2005, 15:57:

Yeah I think with anything it varies by person. Just because a person is from some place and acts a certain way doesnt make all of them like that. Although some stereotypes are true it also holds true that just like anywhere else people are people and you will find all kinds of people everywhere.

My family has never ever ever asked for money. That just makes me to want to help them out more. I send gifts to my cousins and uncle and for people who dont have much they are very shy about that.

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juanalejo says on Mar 19, 2005, 16:08:

I do not get it? First some people say you should not live in Colombia because the salaries are pathetic and in places like the US they are 10 times as high. Then those same people complain because some Colombians believe that in the US money is easy to come about when it is really not. Sorry but if the money factor is so good in the US or else where and your family is in need in Colombia then I would be helping out before they even ask. They are my family for God´s sake. Now if the real story is that you make more and you spend it proportionally then you tell that to your family and not sell an image that the grass is greener, because you are in the same need as them.

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captian america says on Mar 19, 2005, 17:58:

My girl is colombian and we have known each other for close to 2 years now and never asked! even if i offered she says no.

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