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Easier divorces in Colombia - walking on broken glass

I read the article on how Colombia is planning to make getting a divorce easier. How depressing. I actually have a genuine sadness for Colombians because of this.

We have no fault divorce here in Michigan. I believe the main reason it was enacted here, was becuase there was a backlog of divorce cases which was difficult for the courts to keep up with (as in Colombia) and was very inconvenient for the parties wanting the divorce (as in Colombia). But, the underlying presumptions were that this backlog served no purpose and that the parties to the divorce deserved to not be inconvenienced. But I wish that we had some inconvenience here. Now divoces are so easy that no one needs to think much about it before initiating one. Interestingly, although divorce rates are WAY up, the backlog of divorces is WAY down. So, I guess a lot of people are happy about how things turned out, but that's not me. Ironically, becuase divorces are so easy to get, now we have laws mandating a waiting period before each divorce can go forward. Very ironic, since we already had a waiting period before without any new law. We already had a waiting period because of the backlog. So, when people in Colombia point to the backlog of divorces there, and then say they need easier divorces because of all the people that will be getting divorced, I say not so. Because many of the people that are waiting for their divorce will not actually go through with it (as with a statutory waiting period). The difficulty in getting divorces there will actually help keep the divorce rate down.

People wanting easier divorces also "poo-poo" the notion that more divorces means more difficulty in supporting children fiancially; that it is not easier to have children financially supported when they are living with their father and mother in the same house. The fact that it is harder to maintain support for children living with only one parent is clearly evidenced by the high rate of non payment of child support here. It is something of an epidemic. So much so, that the media tries to "shame" parents into paying by calling them "deadbeats," and the government expends a lot of its resources just trying to locate and collect from these parents who refuse to pay. (Ironically, I imagine that now the government probably uses the same amount or more of its resources to collect child-support as the government was previously using before no fault divorces were enacted)

I imagine that many people will discount what I've said, and my observations. Perhaps they will say things like, "Well, that's not Colombia." or "We can't base decisions in Colombia on observations in another country." To those people I say, just like the Beatles.. "People are the same wherever you go," and just like the theologians and philosophers "Human nature is universal." Also, I would say, "Why can't one country learn from another country's experience"? If we are all walking in the dark, why must everyone walk on broken glass?

aaronfromus

By aaronfromus on Oct 8, 2005, 09:19 in Friendly Talkzone.

CaryGrant says on Oct 8, 2005, 10:55:

I'm not one necessarily opposed to easier divorces. Our CanAm society is so messed up that people get into marriages before they have the maturity to know what they are doing; forcing them to stay in a dysfunctional relationship longer is not a solution. As someone who is twice-divorced, I know....

Clearly, prevention is best; date more and longer, know who you are, make marriage more difficult, etc. However, we're talking divorce here, so too late for that for this marriage.

Children take divorce very hard, but I think the main reason is the selfishness of the parents. The parents put their own wants (career, new boy/girlfriend, desire for travel, desire to live elsewhere, etc) ahead of their children's needs. I have seen and heard of divorces where the children did just fine, because their parents made it crystal clear that the kids were still loved, would still be taken care of, and so on. The kids got the continuity and security they needed to grow up as healthy, trusting adults.

Better divorce than parents staying together only for the kids, or because of social shame. In the first case, kids learn that, when they become parents, their wants and needs are not as important, and this is a terrible message. You don't cease to count as a human being just because you have children.

I'm not a fan of a high divorce rate, but to me, it mainly indicates too many immature people making a commitment when they don't fully understand the meaning of what they are doing.

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Crazy4Cali says on Oct 8, 2005, 15:51:

I think... the divorces should be easy, but getting married should be difficult. If you made it harder to get married (i.e. classes, tests, 6-mo. probationary period....sort of like what you have to do to drive, for example) then divorces could be easy because they would be less common.

Something seems wrong when life-long commitments are so easy to enter into (e.g. marriage, credit cards, time-shares, etc.) but almost impossible to get out of.

But, I suppose one of the costs of freedom is to be free to make mistakes.

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Rubiazo says on Oct 8, 2005, 16:18:

I think part of the problem is that we live in a society where the traditional family is no longer as valid as it once was, but because of the conservatism inherent in most religions, we are trying to hang on to it.
I would agree that marriage as it is is entered into too lightly by many people, it DEFINITELY was by my ex-wife and me. I think that making it a bigger deal is not such a bad idea, but we also need to redefine what a marriage is and/or could and should be.

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Tinto (Moderator) says on Oct 9, 2005, 07:01:

(GringoinBogota) Are you Jean Valjean? ;-)

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Rubiazo says on Oct 9, 2005, 20:10:

Maybe he is John Galt!

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lawyer says on Aug 6, 2006, 12:05:

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I can give a brief response to some doubts but if you have further problems please contact me to my email : colombianlawyers2006 at yahoo.com

I usually work topics such as divorce in Colombia and US, Visas, work`s contract, TUTELAS, PETITION RIGHTS, DIVORCE and any kind of legal text.

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Steve

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