Do you miss your own people?

Waterdawg says on Dec 13, 2007, 06:50:

Thats just natural Kat , especially around the holidays , family friend's , memory's and all .. I have lived in Latin America for five years now , but really do miss the holiday's in the States . ThanksGiving through new Years has always been a special time ..

slguy says on Dec 13, 2007, 06:52:

If I could ever figure out what "my own kind" is, I would prolly miss them. ;)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Waterdawg says on Dec 13, 2007, 06:56:

Ah yes, a true citizen of the World ! lol

El Polo says on Dec 13, 2007, 06:58:

Lo que si me falta es parrandiando hasta el proximo dia en frente de la casa, con todo los vecinos.

Albatross says on Dec 13, 2007, 07:15:

I know exactly what you mean, lately I've wondered whatever became of "my kind".

When I was growing up in small-town New England, our community was so much closer.
We were all middle-class WASP's, everyone spoke English, we listened to the Beatles and played baseball after school. My first crush was a green-eyed redhead named Sara. There was no crime, Cops didn't wear guns... people didn't even lock their doors at night.

How I miss those days... and my America.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

BAQ says on Dec 13, 2007, 07:16:

Simple fix, MOVE to a city where there are more people who have the same cultural background. And if I might sugggest, she get along better if she said "MY CULTURE" rather than "MY OWN KIND". I say this because if someone is conversing with me and says "my culture", I understand and would be sympathetic. Saying "my own kind" would honestly, piss me off and I wouldn´t care much to speak with them further.

Just a thought

Semper Fidelis !

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 13, 2007, 07:41:

well BAQ when she told me my own kind, i did understand what she meant, well sort off, if i said my kind, i mean my culture of course, our sense of humor, how relax we are, everything and being here for such long time i am missing it more , but I think for her is a bit different because she is one of the very few blacks around this town, and she says she wish she meet more of her own kind. I think she meant color too.

engage brain before opening mouth

Waterdawg says on Dec 13, 2007, 07:50:

Albatross , You and I come from the same Planet ! .. The America you speak of has been on it's death bed for a long time now ! ... It breaks my heart when I come to the reality of no turning back now .

Albatross says on Dec 13, 2007, 07:52:

Kat, you could suggest Detroit.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:04:

from Birmingham UK to Detroit? Birmingham has a big black community, and she grew up there, but she then married a white Farmer and came to live here, I don't know how her husband will adapt to Birmingham specially since they live in a farm, and he was brought up in this place, beautiful place though.

engage brain before opening mouth

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:07:

Kat, lo que tienes es la malparidez navideña.... yo tambien la tengo alborotada je je je.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:12:

Oh yes this time of the year hits me more ;))))... but for a long time i wish i live near a big latino community. I need a pedro, cecilia or juan :((( hehehe

engage brain before opening mouth

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:15:

Lopez, Gomez, Gutierrez ahhh, me imagino que depronto hasta un Tangarife jajaja.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

El Polo says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:15:

Colombiche que diches, que estas alborotada? jiji

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:20:

Si, estoy alborotada. Cambiaria los centros comerciales tuquios por una novena con la familia (y eso que no soy catolica), cambiaria las galleticas en forma de arbolito por buñuelos y natilla, los carols por tuntainatuturuma, el pavo por una marranada, la nieve por los globos.... ahhh, es que nosotros sabemos pasar muy bueno.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

El Polo says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:21:

ok guys how about this,we plan a little get togheter in New York theres plenty of pedro's cecilia's and Tangarife's around what do guys say?

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:25:

What happened to the toronto get together? I already painted my car the colors of the colombian flag, it's practically a mini-chiva.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

El Polo says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:27:

uhhh we were just joking about that Colombiche, we didnt think you would go that far.

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:29:

What???? No drunk ice skating on lake ontario?

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

El Polo says on Dec 13, 2007, 08:34:

BRB

El Polo says on Dec 13, 2007, 09:10:

Colombiche I think i might have to re-think this trip to Toronto

Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 13, 2007, 09:27:

Kat, let me get this straight, your friend is from the UK but is a Black city girl stranded out in the country?

That's a pretty bad culture shock, for sure. Probably a bigger culture clash than for you as a Colombian living abroad.

I'm a bit like SLguy, sometimes I miss my own kind/culture but then I realize I'm not even sure what that is.

Timba says on Dec 13, 2007, 10:22:

w.t.f ?

miamimike says on Dec 13, 2007, 10:30:

I don't miss my Culture one iota! Not to say they(fellow americanos) are bad people but I like to meet new cultures(people of) so I don't search them out. When I am traveling, I don't frequent Tourist areas where other Americans may congregate. I like to meet the true natives and I feel I cannot do that when I frequent a Tousist area say like Zona Rosa,,,

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.,

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 13, 2007, 10:32:

well if you go as a tourist i understand miamimike, but when you live in a country other than yours for a long time it's another story..

engage brain before opening mouth

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 11:09:

Exactly Kat. There is a big difference between being a tourist who travels on a whim or an expat who decided to enrich their life by moving overseas than it is to be an immigrant who uprooted him/hersefl completely. The immigrant experience is an entirely different animal.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

msaucey says on Dec 13, 2007, 11:28:

culture, what is this culture you speak of....

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis

scotty says on Dec 13, 2007, 11:52:

never thought about "my kind" i just enjoy where ever i happen to be at the time.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

dwmte7 says on Dec 13, 2007, 12:10:

darling, kat...i damn sure do, but i buried them this past year...

dwmte

BAQ says on Dec 13, 2007, 12:16:

ALBRATROSS, you are just killin me. "You could suggest Detroit", Oh god, HOW TRUE !!!

Yea the days of "A GREAT AMERICA" are behind us. As you mentioned about growing up DITTO. Everyone knew each other, watched out for each other, helped each other, the list goes on. Now its burglar bars, ya hve no clue who is living on your street, they want to take Christmas out of our culture, the list goes on and on.

Honestly, thats one of the reasons I didnt have any heartburn about moving to Colombia, the America I grew up in is on its death bed so there is NOTHING LEFT to really miss !

If I could go back to the days of the 60´s, would move back tomorrow !

And yes, being politically correct is killing our country. Everyone is SO WORRIED about "offending" someone. Hell, if you are offended, GET OVER IT and move on!

Semper Fidelis !

Desideria (Moderator) says on Dec 13, 2007, 12:36:

I didn't miss "my people" at all during those 12 consecutive years I lived in Colombia plus 5 more in USA before visiting my home country and "my people" again. I didn't miss the food, I didn't miss the music...I missed the four seasons a little and of course, my family. Christmas away from home was a bitch, but only the first year. I loved getting adapted, learning a new language, new culture, new customs and habits,...I was fascinated by everything that was new and unknown to me. I was really close to changing my nationality and my religion, but held back, more by plain laziness rhan real conviction.

Living close to my family now I feel no longing for Finland or Finnish people., Finnish culture or customs. I'm proud of the country of my birth, but I realize that I have changed beyond any possible reconciliation. There's no turning back for me, at least not without a paying a steep price.

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

Lisa Zee says on Dec 13, 2007, 13:50:

I do miss my family very much, but when I am in Medellin for a log time, I start to miss, the things we don`t have in Colombia. Like I said before..."nos quedamos despatriados" " no soy de aqui no soy de alla" canta Julio Iglesias.
However I will be living in Colombia when I am older.

dwmte7 says on Dec 13, 2007, 14:00:

.....my song, lisa...unfortunately, I AM OLDER, and we still can't go home. pity

dwmte

Lisa Zee says on Dec 13, 2007, 14:04:

Douglas I am going to Miami in 2 weeks for 2 weeks, I am bringing my passport just in case!. I told my sister: " I`ll be so close I think I can yell at you from the distance"

Lowell says on Dec 13, 2007, 14:05:

I miss some of the countryside of 40 yrs ago, seasonal changes, some of the shopping, good service. The people? NOT! The lifestyle now? NOT!

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

dwmte7 says on Dec 13, 2007, 14:25:

lisa, love.....you better just call me and save the vocal cords. nothing i'd like more than hearing the voice of sanity in the wind swept wasteland of daytona....pm me for a number or e me at dwmte7 at yahoo.com

dwmte

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 13, 2007, 14:27:

I miss the people more than the countryside, as I said I miss how easy going my friends were or are " son muy descomplcados" the way that my house was always full of friends coming and going, that i could pop around to anybody house without having been invited 5 weeks before, the way that Christmas is a social gathering, neighbors, friend, etc...we could have a drink without occasion just outside any day anytime, the way that for many of them nothing was trouble, they will say " pues camine y veremos" i miss all of that.

Mr Hollywood yep I agree I think for her even though she is been living here for ages, it's been difficult, specially since there is not more black people around, her kids are going to the same school as my kid and they are the only mixed race kids there. She says she wish there were more blacks around some people she could identified more

engage brain before opening mouth

Colombiche says on Dec 13, 2007, 15:18:

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

Lowell says on Dec 13, 2007, 16:05:

We all miss things. To bad the things we miss have often changed and just aren't the same. My sister refused to go to one of our family vacation spots in the mountains after the lodge that we stayed at was gone. Life is change and she lost out on a very beautiful area.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

slguy says on Dec 13, 2007, 16:10:

sorry if this is a stupid question - but WHO are the women in that video, Colombiche??????? One of them looks like the next ex-mrs. slguy!

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

john_stark says on Dec 13, 2007, 19:42:

To me there is something narrow about a person who only wants to be with "their own people" whatever the hell that is. Is that how we want the world, everybody only living "with their own people" and suspicious and antagonistic towards anyone who is not like them. The Indians I work with tell me that's how India is and most of them don't like it. They like the US where people of different races and ethnicities mix and associate freely (ok, maybe it's just Texas, home of the majority minorities). I don't miss my "own people" one iota. Everywhere you go deep down people are the same and want pretty much the same things for themselves and their families. Anyone who doesn't see that is just looking skin deep.

MaFe says on Dec 13, 2007, 19:59:

I miss my family....right now my parents and younger brother and sister are in Colombia...they landed in Cali today. I am extremely sad that I didn't go with them (not by choice)...and my siblings who were born here don't have that bond and love for Colombia that I have. My sister actually wants her ticket change so she can come back here earlier...I feel that they are ungrateful...I would do anything to be in Colombia for 5 weeks!! Even one week!!
COLOMBICHE....muchisimas gracias...it's the first time I see that video...I cried so much...watching that video motivates me to jump on a plane.....I am so happy to be a Colombian....but this time of the year it's so difficult to be away from my loving, happy family in Colombia...and I live in a different state from my family...so basically I am sorrounded by pure loneliness....

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

john_stark says on Dec 13, 2007, 20:03:

My wife hasn't been to Colombia for four years. Does she spend her time moping and whining about not being in Colombia or not being with her family? No. Never. She makes the best of whatever life hands her and enjoys the people around her. She takes those lemons and makes lemonade and it's some mighty good lemonade.

scotty says on Dec 14, 2007, 01:11:

JS, sounds like you have a an excellent wife, congradualtions.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

dwmte7 says on Dec 14, 2007, 03:34:

i agree with scotty on that one j.s.....it's a wise person who realizes and accepts that is, is and works with that reality wisely and happily. your wife apparently being one of those who finds her contentment in what is at hand and where she is, not in what she doesn't have and where she is not. you're lucky. best of the holidays to you and your family.
douglas

dwmte

miamimike says on Dec 14, 2007, 03:58:

john_stark says on Thursday December 13th, 2007 19:42:

To me there is something narrow about a person who only wants to be with "their own people" whatever the hell that is. Is that how we want the world, everybody only living "with their own people" and suspicious and antagonistic towards anyone who is not like them. The Indians I work with tell me that's how India is and most of them don't like it. They like the US where people of different races and ethnicities mix and associate freely (ok, maybe it's just Texas, home of the majority minorities). I don't miss my "own people" one iota. Everywhere you go deep down people are the same and want pretty much the same things for themselves and their families. Anyone who doesn't see that is just looking skin deep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Utopia-I agree with your post 100%! Thats one of the things I enjoy about Miami, NYC or Seattle! I've always lived, except for some time in the Military, in Immigrant Cities. Funny thing here in Miami, some non natives who come here cannot live anywhere but in some Enclave amongst their own Nationality. I have always felt this is the sign of someone insecure afraid to assimilate into the dominant culture.

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.,

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 04:16:

J_S I don't think it's to be, i think sometimes you need a bit of your own people, i have been in the UK for a long time, and i do miss that contact now, i don't know about your wife but according to you she is surrounded by latino people so she can't miss anything, but for example me, i don't see a latin person until i go to Colombia and don't speak Spanish with anybody apart from my husband and kids nor I go to any Latin Restaurants there is nothing of that around here, unless you encounter the odd tourist. I miss my culture and you all know how happy easy going we are, i miss all of that, if I were living in Orlando that will be different or San Antonio etc where I can have mix with both Cultures, American and latinos.

engage brain before opening mouth

john_stark says on Dec 14, 2007, 05:33:

They may be Latinos but they're all Mexicans.

LilaM says on Dec 14, 2007, 05:41:

jajaja gringo you are not tarzan you are farsan ajajjaj

"Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." Ed. Cunningham

Dan says on Dec 14, 2007, 05:51:

San Antonio may be mostly Mexican but Orlando has Mexicans, Cubans and a mix of the others. Personally, I would go to Florida, I've always prefered tropical weather. ;-)

God Bless America!

dwmte7 says on Dec 14, 2007, 06:08:

yeah, dan....daytona the dull is only 45 min away from orlando, but the cuello rojo is the dominant here with only a few latinos...pity. and, the further south you go, the more hot bloods one encounters. i often talk as i don't like daytona...that's really not true as the folks, all of them, the tall short fat skinny, black, white brown of them are all nice enough, it's just that there aint no 'there', there. culture is made up of nascar, motorcycles and tattoos, of which i have none of the above. that being said, we're a bit like fish outta water. the mrs, has her masters deg, from belles artes in renissance art and my research was in the iconography of the textiles produced by nomadic tribes (bedawin) in so. iran and north africa. so we just have no saleable skills. i'm looking for work as a janitor in the hospital or at the college. she, too. (can you fricken believe it ???) the only thing bueno i can say about all of that is that at least it's some money coming through the door. life has so many bizarre changes around each turn.

dwmte

john_stark says on Dec 14, 2007, 06:10:

Maybe. Orlando gets 50% more rain than San Antonio (48 inches versus 32 inches).

Robert Jorge says on Dec 14, 2007, 08:52:

Pretty big Colombian population in Orlando. Kernow showed us around. I was surprised at the amount of people who were Colombian and the subsequent Colombiano owned businesses in the Orlando area.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 08:55:

It doesn't matter J_S but they are latinos and we have very similar customs.


I am not trying to say you should only hang around with latinos, no i don't agree with that, i think mixing and accepting other cultures is basic if you want to settle in another other place, but sometimes i think part of me is missing and long for that....

I can see how many of you don't feel that way and funny they all Americans, maybe is something we Latinos have or maybe when someone have a close family or when someone leave the country because they don't have another alternative.

engage brain before opening mouth

nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 09:00:

I am as gringo as it gets, but I don't long to hang with other gringos! In fact, I love the idea of hanging with different kinds of people. Maybe if I was away from home for a year or more, I'd miss it, but I can never get enough traveling and encountering people different from myself.

Lisa Zee says on Dec 14, 2007, 09:48:

Kat: we latins are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO different!, our up bringing and our families are very close net. Here in the USA every one goes different directions and they don`t connect with their families like we do.
My B/F does not see his family very often, and when he does he can`t wait to get out.
Again it is a cultural thing.

Colombiche says on Dec 14, 2007, 09:52:

Yes it's cultural. I noticed the common denominator among gringos is that they can't really identify who "their people" is and like to get away as often as possible and experiment with other cultures.

Colombians on the other hand live overseas yet yearn to have something familiar in their surroundings. We miss family, our customs and tend to idealize everything about back home now that we are away.

It might have to do with the fact that most of us left due to need rather than pleasure, whereas gringos travel for pleasure and self fullfillment rather than need. Gringos know they can pick up and go back home whenever they want so in their case it feels like a getaway or an adventure whereas for a colombian immigrant it feels like a struggle to make an upward move and fit into a colder more demanding culture.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

elmodefoque says on Dec 14, 2007, 10:09:

I must be more gringo than I imagined.
I don’t miss my family one fokin bit; as a matter of fact I only go to Colombia for the booze, hookers and music. .
The other day my brother here in NY was sending a little cash to la vieja en Colombia. I’m the guy in charge of sending money. This guy lives 15 minutes away from me and the last time I went to his house was 3 fokin years ago.
Anyway I call him, “Hey modefouqe! where is the money you were supposed to send a la fokin vieja?
He said “I mailed it to you‿
How the fok you’re gonna mail something to a modefoque that only lives 15 minutes away. That fokin letter went from the Bronx to midtown Manhattan from midtown Manhattan it was sent to the post office in uptown Manhattan and from there to my penthouse. 3 fokin days later I see a lousy 20 dollar bill inside an envelope.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

Colombiche says on Dec 14, 2007, 10:14:

hahaha I know that deep down you yearn for your curramba.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

elmodefoque says on Dec 14, 2007, 10:39:

Yes colombiche of course I yearn for curramba, but do I miss any one person, family member in particular? NOPE!!
I love curramba no doubt, but I love most is the excitement of sitting in a nice hotel room, big comfortable bed, super white clean sheets, lots of pillows and nice big bathroom waiting for my hooker to arrive. When I get that call from the guys in the lobby, “Don Vaina, Conchita is here to see you!‿ what a fokin horny rush.
I open my door just to see her walking down the hall all dressed up in her hooker regalia, tiny miniskirt, sexy blouse with those things ready to burst out, and of course high heels.
I always have plenty of guaro, ron, whisky, beer, and of course the quicker picker upper, you name it, I got it!
VIVA CURRAMBA NOJODA!!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

morphus says on Dec 14, 2007, 10:49:

"Yes it's cultural. I noticed the common denominator among gringos is that they can't really identify who "their people" is and like to get away as often as possible and experiment with other cultures"

We have been here longer. Why would you miss Europe if you are born in the U.S. or Canada? Give it a couple of generations. I met a lot of Colombians in Colombia that could'nt wait to get back to the U.S. They said after a week or two they get bored in Colombia.

nueva york bombero says on Dec 14, 2007, 10:52:

Elmo you never stop! What a life.....You want to adopt me???

elmodefoque says on Dec 14, 2007, 11:27:

wtf??? i got deleted. ratss!!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

elmodefoque says on Dec 14, 2007, 11:27:

double rats!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

elmodefoque says on Dec 14, 2007, 11:28:

fok this i go home, hey morph wanna check out the broads in our midtown bar?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

morphus says on Dec 14, 2007, 11:28:

Yeah

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 11:32:

Morphus wrote "We have been here longer. Why would you miss Europe if you are born in the U.S. or Canada? Give it a couple of generations. eh?

" I met a lot of Colombians in Colombia that couldn't wait to get back to the U.S. They said after a week or two they get bored in Colombia."

Morphus I am not saying you have to hate the place you are living in to miss your country, I like the UK , but the country, although I like its people, it's not the same, if UK had the warmth, the happiness, uncomplicated people, the happy music, spirit and the weather of Colombia, and countryside heheh it will be perfect.

engage brain before opening mouth

john_stark says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:09:

"It doesn't matter J_S but they are latinos and we have very similar customs."

That's not what the Colombianos say. Most of them absolutely hate and despise Mexicans.

john_stark says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:14:

How many times do I read this BS about how much closer Colombianos are to their families? This was one of the most eye-opening experiences for my wife. She saw with her own eyes that all these stereotypes like "gringos are cold fish" or "gringos don't spend any time with their families" were just that - nonsense. Ask anyone here what is most important and they'll all answer: family and friends. And they walk the walk not just talk the talk.

MaFe says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:20:

I don't miss "my people" I miss seeing my family; cousins, uncles, and the beauty of my country...I would never live in Colombia.....but I do need to see my family and enjoy the culture...
I am very close to my family...but I don't think it's because I am Colombian...I know many gringos who are extremely close to their family...so like everything else it can be generalized.

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

Dan says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:21:

" I met a lot of Colombians in Colombia that couldn't wait to get back to the U.S. They said after a week or two they get bored in Colombia."

jejejejeje... I'll be interesting to see how my (ex)wife will handle going back to Colombia once the divorce is final. (should be next month).

God Bless America!

Chelesupercono says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:22:

I miss black women too.....they are so hot!!!

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:24:

J_S but look what are you reading here i have never ever read something about a gringo missing his family never or even his country, I wonder why?

I know some gringos or European miss their families, but so far i have met few of them, husband not included, he wants to be as far as possible from them :) I am the one getting them close together.

engage brain before opening mouth

Dan says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:30:

I've always favored my dad's side of the family.

Kat, what are you doing? Trying to force him to visit the rest of the family?

God Bless America!

slguy says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:38:

I've tried not to say anything about this, but I gotta ask....after JS opened the door.

I was married to a latina(puertoriquena) for 12 years. I'm pretty well-traveled in latin america, and in fact I have no interest in dating a gringa. I mention these things just to show that I'm not a guy who just met a beautiful colombiana online, and have no experience with the culture.

I have never understood why latinos view all gringos as cold, and not as family oriented as latin people are. Because americans tend to teach their kids independece and self-reliance? Because we think that once a kid is educated, it's good for him/her to make a life for him/herself, instead of hanging out with mom and dad until they get married? Because my son has an opportunity to attend a top-flight university that's not down the street, and I don't deny him this chance, since he couldn't live in my home while he attended this university - I'm cold? I'm always baffled by this.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:39:

trying but with few luck, what's wrong with this Europeans. it's Christmas !!!!

engage brain before opening mouth

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:41:

I see more enthusiasms out of a can of beans :(((

engage brain before opening mouth

slguy says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:42:

jajajajajjajajaja

I understand your point, kat. It's one of the reasons i'm following the Duck's advice and "going...south"!

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:52:

slguy, my daughter wants to go to a Drama school away from home as soon as she finish school, and i am happy with that, she has to move away from home so that's ok by me, but I want her to know that i am always here for her and her room it's going to be intact for when she comes back. I don't care how long they want to stay home , as long as they make a living for themselves and be responsible, my house is their house as long as they wish, they are always welcome. Just because they move away from home you think they become independent? no i don't think so, how many has move away from home and are becoming more trouble.... independent comes from maturity and they can learn that at home...and I don't think they need to leave home to become independent

engage brain before opening mouth

slguy says on Dec 14, 2007, 16:55:

kat, I hope you know that I wasn't accusing anyone, especially you, of anything. We are on the exact same page, about our kids.

but can you honestly tell me that what I wrote is not the stereotype that americans carry with latin people?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:00:

I agree we all think you are cold people, but personally I won't say cold i would say you are very reserve in expressing your feelings. maybe that's why you all go bonkers in Colombia hehehe

engage brain before opening mouth

Dan says on Dec 14, 2007, 17:08:

"reserve in expressing your feelings"
I see a therapy session on the horizon...jejeje

God Bless America!

adrimm says on Dec 14, 2007, 23:29:

I can understand this question in some ways, and in other ways not at all.

With my mixed heritage, no one would mistake me for a purebred-wasp, but I don't feel as if I belong any less in my community.... and there is no place where I could belong any more than where I am.

My community, my people, are the people who I grew up with, studied with, am friends with... I think that appearance and fitting in physically is only part of fitting in, having "a people".... home is where the heart and comfort-level is.

So I may be able to lose myself in a crowd easier in a city like Bogota or Bucaramanaga, but even there I am not among "my people".

john_stark says on Dec 15, 2007, 08:46:

"J_S but look what are you reading here i have never ever read something about a gringo missing his family never or even his country, I wonder why?"

Even though my daughters are 24 and 22, I see them a lot and help them out. My wife doesn't think I should be helping them out but whenever she says a word, I just tell her, hey the Latinos think we're not close and we don't help our family members so you don't get to say anything thing about this. You guys always wave this "family" thing around like it was some kind of Olympic medal but it's only when it suits you. Believe me, life in our little Texas town completely revolves around family.

gatogris says on Dec 15, 2007, 10:38:

I always miss the details, not so much the big stuff. The smell of snow. The awkward, endearing seriousness of Canadians when you ask them a direct question about themselves. The jingles on the national radio station that signal that the news is about to come on. The empty quiet streets in the evening, with one walker headed home. The way you not only can, but also might want to, walk into a library off the street, find a nook, and read for hours without ever noticing the outside world. The protected, decorous idealism you can find in neighborhoods even in hustling Toronto. Long conversations lasting hours where everyone finds out that they basically agree with one another, if differ just a bit on the details.

The Northern Lights, aurora borealis. Tree boughs mantled with snow, tree branches coated in ice, trees afire with colour.

I wonder if missing my people, my home, is like missing a whole bunch of these little things without knowing it. A whole set of thousands of tiny things I can't put my finger on, but recognize when I am around them.

Desideria (Moderator) says on Dec 15, 2007, 11:41:

Gato, after a number of years I started missing even the obnoxious autumn colds and runny noses, coughs and viruses...then sometime in November the temps in Cali dropped to 15 or 14 centigrades at dawn, the morning dawned misty and overcast, the tile floor felt cold to my bare feet....I was in heaven...it felt Christmasy!

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

gatogris says on Dec 15, 2007, 11:49:

Yeah I'm with you Desi, I'm going to light my fire in Bogota tonight and drink something hot and think North. Its scarf weather here.

But then I'm going to the coast, where I doubt I will be doing much waxing rhapsodic for the cold.

dwmte7 says on Dec 15, 2007, 12:02:

i'm with you hal...i taught my kids independence, but it broke my heart each time one flew the roost. it still does. they're so independent. i was like a hen with her chicks with my children but they got their wanderlust from me, as i spent my life travelling, working around the world. that doesn't mean for one minute that latinos have anything on us. i don't buy that for a minute. sure, there are families that doen't embrace closeness...but there are plenty of those in latin america, also. folks are folks. some families are close as feathers, others just don't know what closeness means.

dwmte

slguy says on Dec 15, 2007, 12:44:

Just a few weeks ago, I was talking to a gal in Peru about some business. She asked about my kids, and I explained that my oldest is at the University of Virginia, a fair-to-middlin' institution of higher learning, although it IS maybe 1,000 miles away from home.

Her response? "How can you let your son be so far from home?"

I didn't even try to explain.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Desideria (Moderator) says on Dec 15, 2007, 14:02:

john_stark,
I've left a message for you in your profile. Please read.
Cheers,
Desi

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

goin_south says on Dec 15, 2007, 14:04:

Cheers? yeah, ... imagine!

and, thank you.