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Do Mail Order Husbands Exist? A question over farewell ice-cream.

My final weekend here in Barranquilla: a leisurely spent eating and packing. A few memories: Friday was the day I received more piropos than any other day. Something in the air, I think. My "admirador" got his "besito" but on his face, not his lips or any other part of his anatomy. For the nth time, I very gently refused him and told him if there wasn't someone else in my life, I would kiss him like a lover, not like a sister, without hesitation. He looked at me with a kind of stupefied incomprehension. "But he's not even here. We are here." He told me there was still time, (well, a man's gotta try right)? However he seemed slightly mollified with my sweetly phrased refusal and I'm very sure (never been more sure of a sure thing in my life) he has plenty of other opportunities with other girls, so he won't be sad for long.

Today, my boss and his wife, who speaks excellent English, took out for lunch at Exito (which for being supermarket actually has fairly reasonable food) and my Boss bought ice-cream for me and for himself, Mrs Boss not being in the mood for it. She was translating some of my Boss's more obscure Costeno jokes to me when my Boss starts laughing at something else entirely. The cause of his merriment? While Mrs Boss and I had been discussing the meaning of a costeno saying in English, he'd overheard the folks at the next table discussing us - one gringa, one "translator", one colombinano: only two ice-creams. They were wondering if Mrs Boss was the translator from the introduction's agency, and if I was meeting my future Colombian husband for the first time.

"No way. If I was a guy and you were a girl," I said to my Boss "then they might have reason to think that".
"No, I think there are agencies for that. For gringas. There are some gringas who come here to get married", Mrs Boss told me as Mr Boss choked on his ice=cream, between chuckles.
"You're kidding me, right?"
"No, seriously, they come. They thought because he bought you the ice cream and not me and because I was talking to you in English, that I was from an agency."
"They really exist for women too? For gringas and colombianos?"
"I think so, anyway, some gringas come here to get married to colombianos, it's certain. I know one who did."

Carefully, and very deliberately, we all get up my Boss puts his arm around his wife, while I keep a respectful distance from them, and, chuckling hard, we leave the dining area, and the astonished faces of the philosophers at the next table.

But this begs the question, bugging me all day. Where are these agencies for women seeking Colombian men? How come I've never come across them? Are they merely a Costeno urban legend? Or is there a secret world of mail order husbands that we don't know about? I tried Googling "Colombian husbands" to see what came up: but nothing: same ol' mail order brides sites. The only male order husbands site I can find is this one. If you want a laugh.

From my not so very long experience of life, though, I think that in all probability it is just an urban legend, and the folks at the next table were merely projecting the norm for gringos onto me: seeing my foreignness before my gender.

All any girl with her own teeth and hair has to do is show up.

By CaritadeAngel on Jun 17, 2007, 21:49 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Mr. Hollywood says on Jun 17, 2007, 22:14:

Carita I can't speak to your exact question, but when I was in San Andres there were public service announcements in all the public restrooms aimed at protecting the "Island boys" from lecherous old gringa cougars who just come down for a little young and tender meat. So it must happen.

In fact, it's so much HARDER for a 50-60 year old woman to find a mate in the US than it is for a man of that same age that I'd be surprised if there isn't a lot of mail-order husbanding going on in the world.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

CaritadeAngel says on Jun 17, 2007, 22:28:

Yeah, I've seen the Caribbean islands, Those boys didn't look like they needed that much "protection". Other than the obvious, latex kind. Cuba was my only direct insight into what it myst be like to be a guy in Asia or Latin America: to be constantly offered sex for a price. I must have been the only gringa on that island who didn't go there to get laid.

But I am not speaking of cougars: they don't need agencies. I'm speaking of women who want to get married. Arranging their own marriages so to speak.

"He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak; 'tis charity to shew."

"I hope I never say anything worth quoting".

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Miguel_Clavo says on Jun 17, 2007, 22:35:

The guy in the photo is available...just put him in a UPS box, and put on an address label and oilaaaaa!!!

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)....Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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miamimike says on Jun 17, 2007, 23:44:

Check out the Dom Republic for these Guys known as "Sankies" They work at the Better known resorts as Hospitality workers but really they are on the prowl for Lonely Gringas and Canadian Women. They con these women by the droves with a high success rate,,,
The Below is a Link to the Largest Dominican Website and rather in teresting as it has many different Catagories.
One long time DR1.Com poster known as "Hillbilly" offers some Sage advice to any women thinking about striking up a relationship with one of the Sankies.Conversely You could apply his line of Logic when meeting a Colombian Chica LOL

"Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for getting serious with a Resort worker or any other Dominican for that matter:

1) He(she) has a bank account equal to your own-in pesos, not dollars or pounds (You have 100 pounds, he(she) has 100 pesos, that's all.). He has a Credit Card and can write a cheque.
2) He(she) has a Visa to travel to the US or Canada
3) He(she) is educated to the equivalent of your own level: High School, Tech School whatever.....
If there is a "no" to any one of these, then essentially you are wasting your him(her)



http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/

On Sept 17, 2008: Senator John McCain said, as he had many times before, that he believed the fundamentals of the economy were "strong."Hours later he backpedaled, explaining that he had meant that American workers were Strong.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

scotty says on Jun 18, 2007, 00:36:

of course Lots of American women travel to jamaica and other Islands to have sex.
Some go to find husbands, I knew a woman here in my town that went to mexico and married a guy. She bought him a nice car, got him his documents, put him through Air Conditioning school, he graduated got his AC license, then he dumped her and moved out on his own.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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kalder says on Jun 18, 2007, 07:07:

I remember a spoof mail-order husband agency in a TV commercial for vodka years ago. The guys had comb-over haircuts, mullets, nylon shirts with wing collars, bad teeth, trousers that reached their ankles etc: all the cliches about Russian male fashion sense/grooming in fact. They had the 'Cossack Song of the Plains' (you'd know it if you heard it) playing in the background and attractive western women leering at the men, while waving fistfuls of cash around.

I suggested to my wife that there might be some money in starting an agency for gringas to meet Colombianos. She laughed.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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gringolondinense says on Jun 18, 2007, 07:09:

hey CA... im available and on the market. Im always interested in a bit of CHUCHA :-).

0 funny, 0 helpful.

JMCana says on Jun 20, 2007, 09:43:

CA did I miss it? Did you say where you are going next?

0 funny, 0 helpful.

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Pope denounces kidnappings AFP Published: Sunday June 10, 2007 11

What's in a name? : Are latin cultures like Colombia really so machista? 31

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Impressions of Cartagena 17

If anyone asks where I am, I'm having coffee with Don Gringo. 82

Swimming at Sunset, Costeno Work Ethic, and Reflections on Amor de Lejos. 10

Why Carita has decided to change her profession from the world's second oldest 12

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Literary Discussion? 42

Ask not for whom the consteno hisses, he hisses for thee... 26

Dirty Old Men 48

Where Can I Dance in Barranquilla? 40


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