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PBH / colombia (travelguide, pictures) / post |
My plan, portraying myself as honestly as possible to attract Colombian internet broads failed miserably. I did not get one single response as your average barranquillero.
Yesterday, I decided to change my profile drastically and even added a picture
In my newly edited profile I’m a 32 gringo working as a “garbologist� from Scarsdale, Arizona and living in my parent’s basement.
Let me tell ya, it worked like a charm, my laptop lit up like a fokin Christmas tree, Colombianas were desperately trying to contact me from all over Bogotá, Medellin, Cali, Perira, Manizales, Armenia , Pasto, Villabicencio, and many other places I never heard of. You name it and I got girls from there, except from the northern Caribbean coast.
Right now I have more women that I can possibly handle, but I still have to jump one minor hurdle, what happens when they see me in person and see a black colombiano in front of them. Well, I’ll worry about it when the time arrives, meanwhile I’m studying the Colombian map to see were most of this places are.
Tonight I’m gonna log in as a British guy; see if I get kat to chase me, though I think she was one of the women after me last night.

By elmodefoque on Mar 28, 2007, 06:28 in Friendly Talkzone.
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webmanco says on Mar 28, 2007, 06:36: Villavicencio "what happens when they see me in person and see a black colombiano in front of them" ...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ... 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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podborski says on Mar 28, 2007, 06:38: just let me know, I'll do your first meetings for you. I look just like that guy.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 06:39: web, i want them to make me look just like that guy, those are the types colombianas go ape chit over . any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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webmanco says on Mar 28, 2007, 06:47: Indio Romulo The Bill Gates look??? What happened to the Indio Romulo look?? ...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ... 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 06:48: Hey pod, let’s make a deal. You meet them and get them really, really drunk, and when they’re nearly passed out, drop them off in my hotel room I’ll take over from there. In the morning just before sun up, you show up and I leave, she’ll be all yours. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Miguel says on Mar 28, 2007, 06:58: Hey old chap Don't forget to be wearing and ascot and a Derby in your picture.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 07:18: GB you have no idea the incredible number of responses I got when I logged in as this guy Fred Stone (above). I was totally flabbergasted. Colombianas are truly a special breed. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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podborski says on Mar 28, 2007, 07:20: deal, elmo, but only on the condition that you return the favour for me.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 07:23: jijjjji kool name but just add another one like Gutierrez any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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cali373 says on Mar 28, 2007, 07:48: Hey Elmo if Pod cannot make it to all those cities to pose as elmo, i will gladly fill in. However there maybe an occasion where I might forget to drop them off in your hotel room and instead use my own *tool* to take care of business in bed. Smile if you are a thinker! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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kalder says on Mar 28, 2007, 08:37: Elmo You want British? Feel free to use my picture if you wish. I'm already married. "kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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treedoc says on Mar 28, 2007, 08:46: Hey Elmo, yur a revelation! What site are u using. Can u suggest a few good ones? Im gonna be a treeologist.......
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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southern151 says on Mar 28, 2007, 09:06: Damn DG... Them there some purty teef! You had em custom made? Is that tint you used called, American Cheese Yellow? LOL
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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webmanco says on Mar 28, 2007, 09:43: Elmo A peodologist?? PhD Peodologist ...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ... 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Azul says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:05: I want to play too!! Elmo, I promise not to be a geeky looking garbologist...please tell me what site you are using :-) las cosas caen por su propio peso 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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southern151 says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:07: Heck, I'm bored too... Tell us the site. We should all let each other know what we are signing up as so that we can keep up with each other's BS. LOL
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:10: Guys, the web site to pick up lots of those geek loving cachacas is “BearShare� any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:17: Find your geekiest looking photo and have a great time, but remember this phenomenon only happens in Colombia, don’t try other countries cus they’ll tell you to go “F’ yourself and that’s not a nice feeling, I know! Colombianas tell me that all the time. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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southern151 says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:31: AHHH Elmo,.... Are you having some self confidence issues today? I'm gonna have to check this site out. I'll be a metal fusion engineer. LOL
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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southern151 says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:34: What gives Elmo? That was a site for software. Did I miss something?
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ecco says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:39: You need to download and register and all that stuff- then start the program to get to the people section.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:44: bearshare.com and then download. i found this while looking to download free music. go to people and do your profile, then ask for colombia and age range you want. I always go for the broads on line, some have pictures too. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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aztec says on Mar 28, 2007, 10:47: Better be careful... ...some of those p2p programs have nasty surprises.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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PennilessBliss says on Mar 28, 2007, 11:06: Bear Share?? Seriously?! LOL... Now that's a sign of me being in Colombia far too long, and pretty much doing all the picking-up in person.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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southern151 says on Mar 28, 2007, 11:13: I'm out on that note... Just got my laptop back from the doc for downloading some shit that damn near took it's last breath! I'm not sure that I want to have to take it back again in the same week. I don't need any more nasty surprises.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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PennilessBliss says on Mar 28, 2007, 12:04: Telegrammic Architect... Newspeak Consultant Any suggestions as to what a duly impressive and humorous job would be?
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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rocinante says on Mar 28, 2007, 14:49: U Kidding? That P2P site is probably a bunch of maricas posing as women just to talk to you guys! "World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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greg says on Mar 28, 2007, 14:59: Cybercupido I`m on a site called Cybercupido. It`s in Spanish. More fun learning
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Azul says on Mar 28, 2007, 15:06: Elmo I saw a costeña on there today..... didn't talk to her though, I already have one :-) las cosas caen por su propio peso 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 16:30: hey i'm in here (bearshare) trying to pick up broads, they're all cachacas. i'm using the pic (above) that GB gave me and doing really good. This broads don't care what you look like as long as you're gringo. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Tinto (Moderator) says on Mar 28, 2007, 16:46: Bear share? Hmmm. I thought "bear" was a slang word for fat, hairy homosexual men with beards?
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 28, 2007, 17:03: Elmo I'm curious, is the reason there are no Costeñas on the internet because they can't read, or because they don't have the internet on the coast yet?
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 28, 2007, 17:19: the simple reason why there are no costenas in the internet is the same reason we only have 8 barranquilleros living in USA and over 5 million cachacos. most costenas prefer costenos and living en la costa. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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utopiacowboy says on Mar 28, 2007, 20:39: There are plenty of internet cafes in Monteria. I've never heard of anyone there expressing the slightest degree of interest in gringos or the US. They got their thing and that's what it's all about. I did see a gringo in the airport once though with his wife or girlfriend and her family. I thought, "you f*cking dumbass, what the f*ck are you doing here?". Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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morphus says on Mar 28, 2007, 20:58: I write Colombianas online when i'm bored too. I sent one girl pictures from earlier trips to Colombia. In the pictures you can see me drinking booze with half naked Colombianas. LOL...this is what she wrote:
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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morphus says on Mar 28, 2007, 21:01: UC, maybe he was thinking the same of you....lol
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utopiacowboy says on Mar 28, 2007, 21:16: Actually I felt sorry for the guy. He was a young good looking gringo, maybe just out of college, and he was with a costena about his age, also very attractive. They were all happy and cheerful but I thought, "man, are you f*cked". I mean it's one thing for the gringo losers who can't get anything else to be down there but this guy had options. He didn't need to be screwing around with some chica from Monteria no matter how cute she was. I'm sure he could have gotten plenty of gringas his age with no problem. And there he was in the Monteria airport sweating like an animal with the rest of us. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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laloca says on Mar 28, 2007, 21:35: wow, this is hilarious elmo, you have prove my point about some colombianas. sometimes I just wonder what really goes through their mind. Im not surprise about the results you have had. as a colombiana myself I just find myself to be in awe at times and of course embarrased. hopefully you will find an honest colombiana. but I don't think you will find one online so stay away from it. So keep us posted. good luck with your experiment. I'm enjoying this. It is so fucked up but freaking hilarious.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Azul says on Mar 28, 2007, 22:27: I just watched Wedding Crashers last night....that's what Elmo is, but instead of weddings he's thinking BIG and crashing an entire country! las cosas caen por su propio peso 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 29, 2007, 06:52: laloca, thank you for "wow, this is hilarious elmo, you have prove my point about some colombianas. sometimes I just wonder what really goes through their mind. Im not surprise about the results you have had. as a colombiana myself I just find myself to be in awe at times and of course embarrased. hopefully you will find an honest colombiana. but I don't think you will find one online so stay away from it. So keep us posted. good luck with your experiment. I'm enjoying this. It is so fucked up but freaking hilarious." laloca any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 29, 2007, 08:32: On Monday night I went on line as this young gringo guy (below) and the results were tremendous. It proved my suspicion that most colombianas are geek crazed. any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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miamimike says on Mar 29, 2007, 08:46: Elmo-How would a guy with Teeth like This Fare in Colombia ? http://dotnet.org.za/photos/robgoss/picture47564.aspx "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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elmodefoque says on Mar 29, 2007, 09:03: hey mike, for christ's sake i was having lunch, now is all over the fokin floor. jijijijij any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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miamimike says on Mar 29, 2007, 10:05: Elmo I hope Kat sees this Picture she has a real thing for Guys with Unusual Tooth Anatomy...LOL "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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kat1 (Moderator) says on Mar 29, 2007, 12:46: well Elmo i didn't want to
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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CaptainHowdy says on Mar 29, 2007, 18:17: Job Title... I think I'm gonna be a petroleum flow engineer...(Pump gas at the gas station!) BearShare, huh?... Teaching preteens the things they need to know! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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miamimike says on Mar 29, 2007, 22:28: Kat, Tried to line you up with a real handsome guy, muy Guapo in the above link, but you didn't tell me if you like the guy or not. Remember the last guy 6 months ago with the nice teeth? JiJI "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Mar 30, 2007, 04:49: Kat1, I got a good lookin gringo for you right here; if you think you can get him off this Chicas abrazos: Ciao! Gustav. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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kat1 (Moderator) says on Mar 30, 2007, 05:09: miamimike I liked him but he said I wasn't up to his standars. ;)) why? didn't he like my long black hair, my sexy big eyes? what about my smile and my bushy eyebrows?.....
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Robert Jorge says on Mar 31, 2007, 00:32: Miamimike, that mouth view you posted in the link would make my blue heeler gag: and he eats cat shit. (Not Kat's shit) Elmo is on to something. I went to the visa interview with my now wife last month. There were 2 other dudes (gringos) besides me, that were there with their promised ones. One guy looked like he could be the brother of that geek Elmo posted repeatedly. The other one looked like a dead-ringer for that Mahr guy who does news and talk shows on HBO now. And I aint' no model myself. For the record though, I didn't wear frosted Levi's jeans or a Tommy Bahama shirt to the interview - nor do I own either items. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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joeylove007 says on Mar 31, 2007, 01:07: wabbit! Suffering suckatash! at I hate da wabbit! Trust no one...except God. Hope to retire in Colombia 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
More posts by the same author:
any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD 22
Bogota's CARACOL the FOX NEWS of colombia 13
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Why they leave Colombia, the truth! 37
Colombian Vallenato songs and dominicans 38
Post #301- Queens Colombian festival, the day after 79
i just made it to 300 POSTS on PBH 33
soccer/futbol a colombian passion 25
Flushing Meadows Park, Queens, NYC, July 20th Colombian festival 47
The past and present history of Barranquilla 45
Songs that take you back to a special place in Colombia 34
Three americans thanked the colombian military 57
Ingrid to leave Colombia within the next few minutes 128
A joint collaboration between Colombia and USA 37
Machismo costeno in Vallenato coming to an end. 15
The gringonazation of our youth in the interior of Colombia 111
My buddy Rubito says the darndest things, regarding Colombia. 47
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