Customs in Colombia

Albatross says on Apr 26, 2006, 08:39:

Mentira Lawyers don't call at 1:30 AM on a weekend...

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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mbest says on Apr 26, 2006, 08:40:

I know. I was able to find his website and sent him an email. His response was he just wanted to see "how she was doing".

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Crazy4Cali says on Apr 26, 2006, 10:52:

sounds to me... It sounds to me like a case of drunk dialing.

If it bothers you, ask her to turn her phone off "after hours." Of course, that might be like asking her to stop breathing so don't expect her to take you up on it.

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southernman says on Apr 26, 2006, 15:58:

I don't understand You Just got married in January, and your wife is already getting phone calls from other men. Are you taking care of business at home or abroad?
I am curious as to you two dating relationship, did you guys discuss how you would deal with the opposite sex, not that, that matters, but did you at least go through the formality?

I only know that when a man call someone else wife at that late hour, it's taking care of business, but it is not business, you know what I am talking about.

Does your wife get upset when you tell her you don't want her talking to other men like that?

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Mr. Hollywood says on Apr 26, 2006, 16:27:

Maybe the guy was just trying to log some billable hours while also working in the boneyard. He is a lawyer, after all.

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southernman says on Apr 26, 2006, 16:36:

He will log alright.... he is giving her some private tonsiltation, I mean consultation

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calipro says on Apr 26, 2006, 17:27:

This is how I handle things in general.... I try real hard not to cheat on my wife or girlfriend. In fact I try to avoid situations where I might be tempted to do something that I'll regret later if I'm married at the time.

If I have anytime left over after acomplishing this major task. I might check on where my wife goes and who she has been calling, etc.

I've never had time to start worrying about what the rest of the world is doing and what their intentions might be.

But I have to admitt that I do answer my girlfriends phone if she doesn't.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 26, 2006, 21:47:

This isn't a cultural question. Friday night 1 am call is business all right, monkey business. If she has the cell phone bills check the numbers she's been calling.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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mbest says on Apr 27, 2006, 07:13:

Thanks for all the comments people. Much appreciated.

Her response to all of my questions has been to get rid of her cell phone, as her comment was "it is causing us to much problems."

How she is going to accomplish this is beyond me. Those Paisas are addicted to their phones.

Even worse, my ability to contact her is now even more difficult.

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marcastillo says on Apr 27, 2006, 09:40:

"Her response to all of my questions has been to get rid of her cell phone, as her comment was "it is causing us to much problems."

Hey that’s exactly what I tell my husband when he receives my monthly credit card bill. Bottom line is: girls know how to handle those types of situations and believe me you should be more careful about it.

Marsh

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 27, 2006, 10:56:

But a lawyer calling at 1.30am? uhhmm, even if it is innocent I think its a lack of respect to call a married woman at that time! unless its very urgent

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kernow62 says on Apr 27, 2006, 12:35:

Is this one of those cases where the wife is in Colombia and you are in Canada relationships?

I imagine you either have to be very trusting or very open in this sort of relationship. I doubt it would work for me and I am very trusting of my wife.

How seriously do either party take this sort of relationship, do the girls really feel married, so that they aren't still seeing old boyfriends. I just don't get it I guess.

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mbest says on Apr 27, 2006, 12:44:

It is exactly one of those situations. Married in January, she stayed in Medellin and I went back to Toronto. Now we're just waiting on her visa. As expected, her tourist visa was denied.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 27, 2006, 13:21:

We were in that situation for 6 months and I made sure that I visited every month and talked to her either on the phone or chatting on the internet every night. I am not at all a controlling person by nature but in this kind of situation you really have to make your presence felt.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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mbest says on Apr 27, 2006, 14:27:

It is tough for me to visit. As a lawyer here in Toronto, I am booked for months at a stretch.

The decision that I'm faced with now is to determine whether it was a random drunk and dial and laugh it off or to nip the relationship in the bud.

Next to an impossible decision.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 27, 2006, 14:31:

You may want to hire an investigator in Colombia to see what's really going on before you throw in the towel.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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calipro says on Apr 27, 2006, 15:39:

mbest don't be an idiot. She didn't call him. He called her. If she has had that phone a while who knows when he got the number.

You should concentrate on what she is actually doing and not what the rest of the world is doing. However this is easier said than none. I suggest you throw her phone away and then buy her a knew one. then if strange guys keep calling you'll know you have a problem.

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caslug says on Apr 27, 2006, 16:17:

isn't a custom in the US.. to call girls for bottie call after midnight? Especially if the guy's drunk or horny. Can't see why it would be different in another country, especially with the easy access to love motels in COL cities.

I've met a few women in col, that i thought initially were single, but after talking a few minutes they tell me they have bf or husband, couple of the bf were actaully americans but are in the US. One even gave me her phone number, but i never called. Why hit on a gal w/ bf when there's TONS of gals without. But maybe col guys find it a challange to "steal" a gal from a gringo.

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jeff8875 says on Apr 27, 2006, 17:28:

This is going to sound really bad and I am sure I am going to get slammed for it but I can only speak from my experience so here goes.....
darn near every south american woman I know in NJ(mostly colombians) cheats on her bf/husband. I wonder sometimes if it has to do with their sensuality and they just cant get enough or if they(this seems more true) really want a green card and marry but are not in love. Its seems the Rule to have a husband/bf and lover. A friend of mine is "dating" a woman who says she loves her husband but wants him to be her lover forever. I have even been the other guy more then I care to admit (because its wrong) but in my case they werent getting proper sex from their significant other. Then again its similar the world over.
I would get detailed billing on your cell phone, and when you get the monthly statements compare then with who she calls when she said she called someone. It also shows in coming calls. This is how I helped a friend catch his gf. They also make a small box that you can stick to the bottom of her car that will track and/or allow you to use the internet(via a website) to check in real time where she is from any internet connection worldwide. Only a few hundred bucks.
Often you can call the phone company and they will have detailed phone records for the last billing cycle sometimes more and look for that pesky lawyers number to see if she has called him.
I agree though change the number and look for patterns.

Edit Note: If she is smart she will use text messages as there is no tracking of those, either content or receiver, only total number sent(not received)
Note 2: If that pesky lawyer calls from his office and there is a switch board then the number that she will call(if she calls) will be different from the number he calls from(due to multiple lines). Generally though only the last 2 numbers will be different.

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Wastelandlive says on Apr 27, 2006, 17:51:

Geeze, ya... Hire private investigators. Mount GPS tracking devices to her car. Let her throw her cell phone away!

Yep, this is the path to true love! Maybe you can prevent her from straying by chaining her to the bed and plugging her into a catheter and IV.

I thought I'd read it all on PBH...

Wasteland

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webmanco says on Apr 27, 2006, 18:07:

Find yourself a Monja

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 27, 2006, 21:40:

Yeah, Jeff8875 is right. Most gringo husbands don't keep their South American women supplied with enough sex (you know what cold fish and terrible lovers they are!), so a gringo husband has to put his South American woman (and himself) on a sex schedule. He has to make sure he's putting the meat in her taco at least once every 10 hours around the clock. That's only about twice every 24 hours. On the weekends you should do it 8 to 10 times to make sure she's completely worn out.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Miguel_Clavo says on Apr 27, 2006, 23:30:

I would launch her like a rocket before i would bother stalking her, and GPS'ing her ass...christ, for about $300 you can also put a chastity belt on her, and then a SAW II head and face trap on her just to be sure....or like that movie Boxing Diana or something like that where the doctor just cut her arms off and her legs, put her in a box, just to show her how much he loved her by taking care of her for the rest of her life! Now, THAT is true love! if you start thinking like that, dude, just dump her and get a replacement! less hassle, etc...


Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo..."NOT the wannabe one..=P"....faltan 64 días.....

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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Brians says on Apr 28, 2006, 04:42:

Homing Devices??? That is just crazy...If I even thought about using a homing device I would be so out of there. That is just some parinoid stuff. I have also been the other guy in many situations (Not prouud of this) and this is probably one reason why it took me as long as it did to settle down. Not parinoid but just under the same impression that I don't want to be on the receiving end of this behavior. Anyway every girlfriend I have ever had I am 100% comfortable that they never even thought of running around on me. If I did I would have been gone. You have to trust that person and if you don't forget it. Some of my girlfriends had trust issues with me and I could only take it so long before I would drown under the stress of their passive aggressive questions. Anyway you are in a different situation than most guys as she is away from you. You have a valid concern. However if you don't trust her answer is true than you might have the issue. I really would have had the same concern but would have stopped short of emailing the guy (What the hell is he going to say). So give her the benefit of the doubt and drop it. If she is running around more stuff will happen in the future and then question her. At that point you could just say to her " Put yourself in my shoes...Wouldn't you have the same concerns". If she is running around you will figure it out soon enough but don't let your own questions drive her insane. I have to wonder about a guy that puts a homing device or tracker on his girlfriend. Christ it is only a girlfriend not even a wife.

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Miguel_Clavo says on Apr 28, 2006, 15:25:

I think the poster was talking about his wife...but i agree... there are too many fish in the sea to sweat just one....my money is on the booty call, unless their was a death/serious injury or sickness involved , or if someone had been arrested and in need of a lawyer, but for her mother's lawyer to call at that time just to see how she is doing is 100% caca.......and for the latest in Stalker Tracking toys you can have a device implanted into her body too!

hahahaha

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo..."NOT the wannabe one..=P"....faltan 63 días.....

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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Miguel_Clavo says on Apr 28, 2006, 15:26:

We Need Latina Stepford Wives!!!! Cierto??? ahahahah Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo..."NOT the wannabe one..=P"....faltan 64 días.....

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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paisa29 says on Apr 28, 2006, 15:35:

Siempre nos han enseñado en Colombia que llamar tan tarde a alguien no es de buena educación.

"Fill the earth with the light and warmth of hospitality" Conrad Hilton

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morphus says on Apr 29, 2006, 13:00:

Most likely a booty call. She was probably busy with you the whole time and the real lover could'nt wait to see her. He probably thought you were already on the plane. I say dump her unless she is really good in bed.

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MedellinViking says on Apr 30, 2006, 12:48:

Might be a bit extreem to use a homing device. But between knowing and not knowing..... knowing is so much better. A little PI work and you have the details to make an informed decision as opposed to the accusitive rage without proof approach that is so ever popular.

Live your fantasies because life is short and from all I've seen death is really, really long....

Live your fantasies because life is short and from all I've seen death is really, really long....

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mbest says on May 3, 2006, 06:42:

I hate to admit it, but that is my biggest fear. It was just too ironic that just hours prior to leaving, she gets that phone call.

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daver says on May 3, 2006, 09:11:

mbest,

I think I met you at the airport in Medellin on your flight in. I was wearing a blue gutter splint on my hand and you were wearing a hockey shirt of some sort.

My wife has got the same sort of calls, and in my case, its Colombian men who don't care that she is married. Even though they know she is married, they don't see any problem calling her at 1am and telling her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Whatever, I try to get past it. The same thing happens in Canada, but the guys try to be much more sneaky about it.

Your wife may like the attention (a lot of Colombianas like getting hit on even though they are in a relationship... it makes them feel good about themselves), but that doesn't mean anything is going on. I don't know though, every situation is different.

Its up for you to decide, but I would say that this is probably a guy who either dated her in the past, or who has some sort of crush on her and won't let it go. A Colombiana is more likely not to tell the guy off, but that doesn't mean she is going to hop in the sack with him as soon as you are gone.

She may have got rid of that cell phone, but how are you going to get her to get rid of the cell phone she bought the day after you left? I'd be more worried about her calling guys at 1am than worry about every dude who hits on her.

Just my two cents. I hope her application goes smoothly, and that you guys are happy in TO.

Dave

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mbest says on May 3, 2006, 12:35:

Daver:

Small world. I think I met you while we were waiting for our luggage.

Thanks for the insight by the way. Much appreciated.

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daver says on May 3, 2006, 12:57:

Yes, you showed me your wife's immigration file. It was about 3 inches thick... about half the thickness of my wife's file, but I guess you being a lawyer helped you to keep it leaner than mine.

Anyway, I don't know how long you and your wife have been together, but if she is good looking (I will assume she is) there will be a circle of guys in her past who have either dated her, liked her, been obsessed with her, stalked her, courted her, whatever.

Now that she is married, she should obviously cut those guys out of her life, but there is nothing you or she can do to stop the guys from calling in the middle of the night, if they are drunk or rude enough to do so.

According to what you said, she isn't answering his calls and that is whats important. Colombians do call each other more often to see whats up, but that is a little late at night if you ask me. But, that being said, my wife gets "what's up?" calls at 1:00am from female friends on weekends, and that doesn't make me jealous one bit....

My wife doesn't get calls from ex boyfriends, but rather what I like to call "backup quarterbacks". You know, those guys that will always be there, waiting for you to falter, have a bad game, get hurt, whatever, and they're ready to jump right into the game at a moments notice. She tells them off though, and tells them not to call, and she doesn't see these guys on social occasions or anything so I am quite OK with that.

Lets face it though, there will be guys in Toronto also, backup quarterbacks, who are going to want what you have. They'll ask her out at the mall, or get her number from one of her friends.... I mean, if you want to be totally free of jealousy, you'll have to marry a girl who is really freaking ugly.

Basically, she'll always have these guys lurking, and its up to you whether you trust her or not.

Anyway, enough Dr.Phil from me.....

Dave

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robi666 says on May 3, 2006, 15:15:

The answer is The answer to this problem is... come to live in Colombia. She will be the jealous one! ;-)

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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utopiacowboy says on May 3, 2006, 15:34:

Backup quarterback! That was frigging hilarious.

"Put me in the game, coach! Come on, coach! Look, I think he's hurt, coach! I know I can score, coach!"

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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daver says on May 3, 2006, 16:01:

UTC,

I don't know why, maybe its because you are from Canada originally, but I got a huge Slapshot flashback with your "put me in the game coach!". I could just picture the Hanson brothers trying to score with my wife.

"put'n on the foil coach, you want some?"

"Dave hit'm"..."Dave stuck'm"...."Dave hit'm in his fuck'n MIND!"

"And none of that stink'n RUT-BEER!"

LOL!

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utopiacowboy says on May 3, 2006, 16:05:

Slapshot. Now that was a classic.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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daver says on May 3, 2006, 16:07:

"cult" classic.

Speaking of jealousy, I hate it when you have more "last replies" than me!

LOL!

Dave

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utopiacowboy says on May 3, 2006, 16:13:

Jealous, Dave? When you get the last reply and there aren't any afterwards, it's because your post was so frigging lame no one else even wanted to respond. Everybody just looked at it and said, "Huh?" I must admit I've killed a lot of threads with dumb ass wanker posts.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kernow62 says on May 3, 2006, 19:20:

I consider it a challenge to kill threads with wanker posts. It is an art form I have mastered.

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kernow62 says on May 3, 2006, 19:21:

Oh no you haven't.

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kernow62 says on May 3, 2006, 19:21:

Oh yes I have!

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kernow62 says on May 3, 2006, 19:21:

Haven't!!!

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kernow62 says on May 3, 2006, 19:21:

Have!!!

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kernow62 says on May 3, 2006, 19:22:

....
















.

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mbest says on May 4, 2006, 08:00:

"What are you guys doing to the bus?"

"Making it look mean Coach!"

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