CRIMINALS IN COLOMBIA ARE USING DRUGS TO ROB DUMB GRINGOS!!!!!!!!!

oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 12:37:

parce,.... you see, when you take your tongue out of my ass,
you can be quite well spoken.

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 12:54:

ooooooh..that tongue feels so good. you won't make much robbing this oldgringo,
la commandante has all of it locked up inside
fort langley.where theystill have a nice set of gallows,
all set up for people who seem to know a little too much about
things like how to rape and kidnap. ..there's a saying...
...takes one to know one....

you are walking like duck...
you quack like a duck..
you probably look like a duck...

who thinks he's a duck???

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:01:

you are hooked...fish... and mrs. gomez is roughing up the blade
she's gonna use to corte su bolitas pequenas.

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ARMacleod says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:08:

Guys, Read between the lines! This, I assume, guy? May have come in like a lion. The thing is if he goes out like a lamb, he will have proven that he is intelligent. He has posted some very good advice, even if it was covered and bound in dubious wrapping.

I thought the information was relevant, well written (except for the expletives) and suited to this kind of forum.

Remember there have been some odd characters here in the past who proved to be pussy cats in the end.

parce,... I don't think that anyone is threatened by your language, for those who don't understand you, you are annoying. I would not like to see you go. We need types from all walks (not like londonmale or ten bloody gold something or other though). Cool the diatribe of profanity and you can and will be cool.

On the other hand, you also have our permission to fuck off!

There, that is the first time in my life that I have written the 'f'word, I don't like it, but I will not edit it.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions."¡El diablo me hizo hacerlo!" But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:10:

me...and my army of clowns... take a look around the site,
you never know who'll be the one.

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:17:

JamesVH... ...at least you still have teeth!!

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:20:

you are so lucky,,...little boy... in the real world,.. someone who says these things,
and then explains.."just letting gringos into the criminal mind"
would be duck soup for any cop.

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ARMacleod says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:25:

I have come across many types in my life Knee jerk reactions are usually regretted. Think hard, play hard, fight hard and Fcuk hard is a good motto.

In this case the ‘think hard' one is relevant. for you, for me and for all others, like I said, read between the lines guys.

It is saturday night and I am here pontificating (they cannot touch you for that) I SHOULD BE IN COLOMBIA!

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions."¡El diablo me hizo hacerlo!" But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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spigrimace says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:29:

I have to admit For all the vulgarity and tastelessness in some of his other posts, Parece did give some rough around the edges true blue advice that should be heeded in starting this thread.

I was at a club in Medellin. I forget the name but it's the one where the fonda and discoteca are separate and you can go in-between the 2 of them and they stay open until 4am and sometimes as late as 6am and it's near Punto Cero (the hotel ;-). Anyway I was escorting 2 lovely Colombian ladies with whom Ive been friends for about 4 months at that time. We drank a ton for 3 people that night in a bottle of tequilla, bottle of bacardi limon rum and a media of ron viejo de caldas and then at 4am in the parking lot 2 guys started talking to the girls on the way out and in 5 minutes convinced them to join up with them and we'd all keep going out partying. Not really being clear on what was the real plan was and how or where this party was going to continue, suddenly a new white Escalade pulls up with the 2 gentleman who were talking to the girls and 4 more young guys inside. My 2 wasted friends started to enter the Cadillac when I grabbed both their arms and said no way are we going in there. The guys got pissed to which I said sorry Im a gringo in Medellin, If you want to party with us, show me your cedulas from which I'll write down the names and numbers, cell phone numbers, I'm noting the license plate of the escalade, we'll follow you in a taxi and during the taxi ride I am going to call 2 friends and give them all that info. They balked to which I said if you have no bad intentions why would you not give me these things? To which they said some naughty words and took off. The next day I made sure to yell in the hungover ears of my 2 friends that they need to use their heads. They agreed and apologized. Luckilly I'll never know if there were bad intentions headed our way or not. But then again, with good security, you'll never know.

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Cerealkiller says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:38:

Spig... And here is where I say gringos are bobos lol. Just messing, being a little bit paranoid is the safest way to get around, but paranoid and all I bet you still have a blast. Its good to hear nothing happened and as for the foul language they might have used it really doesnt matter i bet you couldnt understand half of it. I grew up here and still have trouble keeping up with the new foul lingo...

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:49:

even if this guy was... the crown prosecutor, who has heard everything,and
read everything fot the last 200 years,
his chutzpah is appalling.

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oldbongo says on Jan 22, 2005, 13:58:

still wriggling,..little fishy? the word is chutzpah...goy.
stop butchering english,. maven a dreck ..

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Albatross says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:04:

Thanks for the info, Homeboy It looks like you've done your homework... so I'll keep your warnings in mind.

However, CAPS ARE GENERALLY UNNESSESSARY, and believe it or not, outside of the "hood", it's actually rather difficult to incorporate expletives into normal conversation without losing the respect (and attention) of your audience.

And if you think you'se a playa', you'se a flea...
and you still gotta long way to go to reach Death Row... BI-ATCH !

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:04:

Normally it's the Colombians who have to look out for the gringos but in that case it seemed the gringo had better sense than the two of them did.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Lionheart says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:07:

thanks for the compliments I just woke up after having a good night's sleep of 9 hours. This is better than reading the news while I drink my coffee in the morning.

James, it would be worth making a copy of his posts here and re-writing it before it gets deleted. Some of it belongs in a PBH guide about dangers in Colombia.

I will talk to Peter about this, maybe some threads will just be locked.

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spigrimace says on Jan 22, 2005, 14:36:

Cerealkiller As a gringo we're walking dollar signs to the people in Colombia so I have to be a little paranoid. My paranoia antennas perk up when people start asking about what was my job back in the states? do you have a big family and lots of brothers? What type of car do you have in the states? How much money did you make? etc. I usually say things like "I sold shoes at Sears, made $16,000/yr plus commission and even made assistant manager! but then got canned, sob story like I lost all my money in the stock market, sold everything I had and took out lots of loans to buy this business, I drove a 1980 Chevy Citation, I have a small family; my parents have passed away and my only brother and I dont get along very well."

Everyone's gunning for you. Even so called friends. You have to always think how are they trying to screw me. When I bought a car in Medellin, a "friend" said he wanted to help me and that he saw a good deal at Casa Britanica on a 2003 Mazda 323 so I went with him. I was paying in full so I wanted to offer about 80% of the asking price of 24 millones or about 19 millones to start and probably would have paid 20 even more or less. My "friend" said oh, you cannot negociate the price of a used car. To which I said "oh shit, I have an important meeting I totally forgot about and have to go right now." and I ran for a cab.

I returned 2 days later and asked directly for a manager and not a salesman. I simply said would you take 19 for that car, he said no. I asked que es lo menor-cash?! He said 20.5 is the lowest to which I said make it 20 and told him the story of how my crooked friend and your crooked salesman we're going to try and squeeze me out of 4 millones. He just shrugged. It's normal Colombian business. If you still don't get it, you know someone is lying when they say it's not negociable. Everything in this world is negociable.

So you're right I'm happy as a paranoid pig in shit down there. jajajaja

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Cerealkiller says on Jan 22, 2005, 15:37:

Spig Well you're right indeed, everything is negotiable, especially here. In regards to cars and houses...basically anything related to real estate, you have to watch out, people often think that just because youre a foreigner youre rich and squeezing a couple of extra millones is okay. I got that once doing some research on markets, had to go to Paloquemao in Bogota and they always asked me for more money than what i was supposed to pay, when i asked they simply said all prices were fixed, they didnt own the stand, yadda yadda...but everybody knows that it just does not work like that in places like la plaza de mercado, and my colombian classmates often got better deals, go figure...I reckon they think charging foreigners higher prices isnt a rip off really...
Thats a very good technique u are using, youre learning the "no dar papaya" way hahahaha. Medellin is very popular for having great salesmen...I heard a funny comment about how a paisa can often sell you something you dont need. In regards to friends, thats a toughie...its true you never know when theyre gonna screw you up, but then again you always bump into nice and not very nice people...its all a matter of watching out for goldiggers. Foreigners in their need to get to see the place from a local's perspective end up getting involved with abusive people. Luckily, I got here when i was about 5 or 6, but I know some weird/funny situations my parents had to face.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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ARMacleod says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:22:

Dont knock Colombia too much Being in India about six years ago I was taken around all of my ex wives relations, (She was a Goan) and although most were wonderful people, after about three weeks I found that they were all on the scrounge for something, usually money.
This was family, I was astounded. My wife said, don't make such a big deal of it, it is their way of life, it is expected.

That was my last visit to Goa.

No one in Colombia has asked me for anything. On the contrary, they fuss me and make me very welcome, they spend more on me than they get in return.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions."¡El diablo me hizo hacerlo!" But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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Cerealkiller says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:35:

Not knocking colombia at all Dont get me wrong, I love this place. I wouldnt be anywhere else, i love the people, I love the food, I have very good friends here, and they seem to be more hospitable than a lot of my own relatives in Europe. But bumping into "gente muy aviona" is not uncommon at all...and i dont think commenting on that sort of things is knocking this place. These things happen everywhere...Its more evident in countries like Costa Rica, it happens to almost every single foreigner and it is still a very nice place to visit.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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ARMacleod says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:58:

Sorry, was not getting at you Ck Just a general comment, I had the same problem in Egypt, and to a lesser extent Malaysia, and many other countries.

I was expecting it in Colombia because of what I had been told prior to my arrival there.

There were many other things that surprised me, like walking for miles through the centre of Bogota late evening with my novia and feeling less intimidated than I was in London.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions."¡El diablo me hizo hacerlo!" But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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ARMacleod says on Jan 22, 2005, 16:59:

Sorry, was not getting at you Ck Just a general comment, I had the same problem in Egypt, and to a lesser extent Malaysia, and many other countries.

I was expecting it in Colombia because of what I had been told prior to my arrival there.

There were many other things that surprised me, like walking for miles through the centre of Bogota late evening with my novia and feeling less intimidated than I was in London.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions."¡El diablo me hizo hacerlo!" But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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