Congress Hires Illegal Immigrants to Write Immigration Bill

Note: IMHO the immigration bill should contain no more than four pages...



Bienvenido a los Estados Unidos!

Bem-vindo aos Estados Unidos!

Benvenuto agli Stati Uniti!

Welcome to the United States (if English is your only language)


In an attempt to break the nagging logjam over immigration, congressional leaders announced today that they were hiring illegal immigrants to write the nation's new immigration bill.

While some observers criticized the decision to employ illegals to draft the very bill that would regulate themselves, Sen. John Kyl (R-Arizona) said that the move was a "win-win" for the American people.

"No one understands the thorny issue of immigration better than the people who have been sneaking into our country," Mr. Kyl said. "Plus, these folks work cheap."

One outspoken critic of the plan was CNN's Lou Dobbs, who blasted Congress for putting illegal immigrants in charge of the nation's immigration laws.

"This would be the equivalent of CNN outsourcing my xenophobic rants to Bangalore," Mr. Dobbs said.

According to the plan, which went into effect at midnight, the U.S. will bus illegal aliens across the border to work as "guest congressmen" to draft the nation's new immigration laws.

The illegals will remain in the country long enough to write the new immigration laws, after which they will be permitted to run for election for permanent congressman status.

Juan Carmelo Gutierrez, 35, a former migrant worker who is taking advantage of the "guest congressman" program, says that while drafting the nation's immigration's laws is arduous work, he still prefers it to his previous job.

"Being a congressman is definitely easier than picking fruit," says Mr. Gutierrez. "Plus, you get most of the year off."

Elsewhere, the New England Journal of Medicine reports that people who play excessive amounts of Nintendo Wii may experience shoulder pain and may also never lose their virginity.

Andy Borowitz writes a daily humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is the author of a new book, The Republican Playbook.

By elk on Jun 13, 2007, 10:08 in Friendly Talkzone.

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lpdiver says on Jun 13, 2007, 11:06: Thanks Ken... I needed a laugh. t "cook some rice!" 0 funny, 0 helpful.

scotty says on Jun 13, 2007, 13:32: might as well hire illegals to write it. it looks like it was written by them anyway. Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash 0 funny, 0 helpful.

Miguel_Clavo says on Jun 13, 2007, 17:00: any bill which alllows a path to citizenship will not pass the House, regardless what the Senate does..... Just my opinion... Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión! "I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave" 0 funny, 0 helpful.

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