PBH / colombia (travelguide, pictures) / post

Colombian women have a big heart but they must become more aware

there are people that move to the U.S.A and believe that if you meet someone by a few months you are life partnets...and will soon marry! unprepared for whats next...gets pregnant and then believes that the relationship will move on like a fary tale!
some men may decide to move forward but if you have not actually known one another how could you expect anything?
this is the story of someone that i know. the girl is her early 30s but her personality and emotional being is of someone in her late teens. now she is in a new country/culture and doesn't have family in the country and believes that having the child will convince the man to stay with her.
its sad, because this is not the way to begin a life in the U.S.A and with her visa running out.
any comments?

By RolaParaTodaLaVida on Jan 20, 2005, 12:47 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


utopiacowboy says on Jan 20, 2005, 15:23:

She was probably one of the Colombianas who thought all the gringos are bobos. Looks like the bobo has made her a boba.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kernow62 says on Jan 20, 2005, 18:36:

Geez where do you guys find all these girls, I must be the only one who found a Colombiana with her head screwed on straight. I'm the one who acts like a kid, and she's the mother.

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BoricuaMorena says on Jan 20, 2005, 18:47:

tsk tsk tsk Sometimes innocent sheltered lives make people appear to be immature. She was not fortunate enough to be exposed to the adult problems that most of our youths are facing here in the United States. I am not excusing her stupid actions by any means. If she was woman enough to get knocked up she needs to take care of it one way or another and plan on the man not being in the picture. Stupid women have not learned yet that the quickest way to get rid of a man is to say I am pregnate. She can easily be replaced with another Colombiana who doesn't have her present issues.

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rfonteno says on Jan 20, 2005, 18:47:

Immature??????????? I have been to Colombia 4 times and the first thing that caught my attention was the maturity that these younger women displayed while walking in the mall and the way that they carried themselves. Here in the U.S., you will see young women walking around together with the "hee hee hee" attitude staring at boys and etc... I think from what I saw is that many of these Colombian women are more mature than the American girls because of a different lifestyle. Here in the U.S., we take things for granted. In Colombia, you will see a beautiful Colombian woman all dressed up for work riding an ugly scooter and here in the states, most women of equal beauty would not settle for anything less than a nice camaro or something. Colombian women have to make good with what they have and the family comes first in most situations.
To give birth just to be able to stay in the U.S. is another different story though.

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 20, 2005, 18:49:

You're not the only one, Kernow. Generally you get what you're looking for. If you're looking for a bimbo who wants to trade sex for a green card or a sugar daddy, you're probably not going to be dating many scientists or engineers.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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nanis says on Jan 21, 2005, 08:50:

"THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!" the problem with these cyber or long distance relationships is that people only know the good things about the other person, they like the fact that this person lives in a totally different country where there's a lot of money and no problems!! ??? well at least that's what they think! i met my husband on the internet too and he kept coming to visit me until i decided that it was best if he stayed and lived with me for a while so that i could get to know him better and that's what we did a few years later we married but we knew it was for real ... i guess some people confusse love with lust! a new relationship is so exciting especially one where yoo don't know who the guy is and when you get to see him he gives you those amazing gifts and treats you like a queen so you feel so loved but it aint real love until you get to know the real person and this takes a long time i guess some women want to rush things because the quicker they marry the quicker they are out of colombia and these are the gold diggers! gringos better stay the hell away from them... but there's nothing wrong with wanting a better life but if these ladies know that they don't feel comfortable with the other person and only wants to marry him/her to get a green card then they are not just gold diggers but idiots too! it's like i say "the grass in not always greener on the other side"! anyway may be it's the gringo who wants to rush things?? may be because they feel like they've got a real catch and they want to show off their colombianas to their mates back in the states who knows? all i know is that no relationship regarless of how they have met work without giving time to get to know one another!! no way! it's like a one of those arranged marriages it will all end in disaster!

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RolaParaTodaLaVida says on Jan 21, 2005, 08:53:

become aware Tell me something...has you moved from one country to another at a young age? Or has any one in your family taken that step?
I have. The cultures from Colombia vs. U.S.A are very different. This becomes a struggle if your values do not mingle with your surroundings. I never jeopardized my values but I did realize what the world had to offer as well as what dangers and obstacles I had to encounter.
The people in Colombia have a big heart. There is a lot of respect to their neighbors and to the church, I love that about Colombia and I do believe that is a big weakness in the states. But what I am talking about is "awareness". Knowing your surroundings and being able to know that in a different country foreigners MAY NOT posses similar values. Although, for the most part basic needs are similar, the values are not.
I do notice that women in other countries are expected to marry young and to have children soon after. Even now in Colombia women are still not expected to stay in the business world for too long. When they do, they are looked down upon. While in the U.S.A that is just another choice anyone could make. In other countries “twenty something mom/wife� is the “thirty something mom/wife� in the U.S.A.
Love is another struggle. People in the states will date a few people and will only consider them friends or people they knew at some point in their lives while
in Colombia I have noticed how women fall in love so quickly. They become devoted in a short period of time with out considering anything else.
Yes I know that at the malls in the U.S.A you will see late teens that act childish but it’s the same in Colombia. I was shopping in the malls there and I didn’t see much difference in the malls. I saw young women dressed older than they were (just like in the states). I did however see a big difference with my cousin who is 16 years old dating someone who is 24. Her parents approved and the relationship has continued. Is that correct? Is that being aware? No! What is a 24 year old man doing with an adolescent! And in this relationship things are quiet serious! I advised my cousin to take a step back and think of graduating high school and applying to college and to think of contraceptives if sex is part of their relationship. (Do you think sex is not a thought in that man’s mind?!) For what ever reason my family doesn’t seem harm in this relationship because the guy seems to be nice. Yeah so he is nice! So is a plate of cake! Sweet at first and then its gone!

There are multiple ethnic cultures within the U.S.A as well as the overall American culture. With all the possibility to attend college, own your own car/home and have a better life, it brings a different awareness for both men as well as for women. Along with the health/ sex education that is offered in high school. Yes people in the states become aware of their surroundings at an early stage but I rather have awareness for myself as a woman and for all of my girl cousins in Colombia then to be taken for a fool.

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mariacvetanoski says on May 18, 2005, 16:43:

girls amen to that /women in colombia are taught have children at an early age and that is why the poverty is so high/ they need education over there as well not more babies!!Save the street children of Colombia Now!!

Save the street children of Colombia Now!!

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joyzers says on May 18, 2005, 18:37:

Very interesting! I find this story so interesting, because I have been dealing with the same sort of problem with a very close Colombiano friend of mine

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Rubiazo says on May 18, 2005, 20:42:

here it's all over the map my Dominican friends in uptown and the Bronx all thought i was crazy to wait till i was 27 to have my first kid with my (now ex) wife. They are used to the idea of people marrying while still in high school (EVEN THE GUYS!!!). Some of them are poor and some of them are pretty rich.

My friends on the Upper East Side all thought i was nuts to have a kid before turning 40!! They are all filthy FILTHY fucking rich (but most of them are also miserable).

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Crazy4Cali says on May 18, 2005, 20:48:

RolaParaTodaLaVida posted: RolaParaTodaLaVida posted:

if you meet someone by a few months you are life partnets...and will soon marry! unprepared for whats next...gets pregnant and then believes that the relationship will move on like a fary tale!
Except for the coming to US context, that describes my first marrriage and we both lived in the U.S.

I think for a lot of people who fall into this mess it is because they don't know what they don't know. I also think you do not need to come from another culture for this to apply.

Too often the notion of "getting married" is presented as the ultimate life goal. It is promoted with fairy tales of "happily ever after," etc. So all the planning, excitement, and anticipation is focused on "getting" married rather than "staying" married.

The reality is that getting married is the beginning (and, in reality, the easy part). It can be the beginning of something wonderful (the lifetime of happiness as promised in the fairy tales) or the end of something wonderful (the courtship). To me, it all depends on where you have your sights set as you generally hit what you are aiming for.

This time, I'm setting my sights on the "happily ever after" part instead of the "I take this woman..." part.

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go2pr says on May 24, 2005, 01:47:

I feel more confortable with the norms in Asia. Being free of the dogmatic dictates of politically motivated religions, Asia and most of it's peoples have grown up less morally and sexually repressed, allowing them THE MATURITY TO SEPATATE love, sex, and marriage.

Perhaps that is why they refer to us as bigoted barbarians.

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Sunsetsrbest says on May 24, 2005, 02:13:

Crazy man... craaaazy Hola! I have dated Columbiana's and women from every other place around the world...to be honest I have not noticed anything different in them then the women from anywher else in this area. When they are young they generally trust too much, and let's face it- in a new country, of course she's going to depend on this guy (human behavior - not immaturity dude). I will admit though that women from around the world generally think USA is the shiznit, and do not realize just how difficult this culture can be... with money and power comes stress, heart disease, and a pretty unhappy life for the most part. Life is the same here as anywhere else, just different problems, but problems nonetheless. Frankly, I love Columbia and am moving there soon - giving up the "golden egg" of the US for the happiness of a culture that worries more about love and life than money and power. Hey - just my opinion ;-)

Gringo rojo :-)

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