Colombian Traditions

mad_lion says on Oct 8, 2004, 06:16:

well....not exactly I would not say that you require "permission" unless she is under the legal age 18. If she is under 18, yes, you need her parents permission for her to legally marry you.

However if she is 18 or over, permission is not required, but the latin tradition is that you ask her parents for their "blessing" in having her their daugthers hand in marriage.

Many people do not follow this tradition so much today, however you will SCORE BIG with your new bride as she will take it as a sign of how much she means to you - big return on your investment if you do so. She will the know you are dead serious about marrying her.

Latin women are very, very close to their parents even when they are 30, 40 or 80 it does not matter - latin roots are very deep and family is very united.

My suggestion is to ask her parents for their blessing and make your fiance very happy and honored in you doing so. I guarantee that same night you will be rewarded very nicely by her latina passion

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2004, 09:51:

yes, do ask for her parent's permission and their blessing. It's just a formality, but both she and her parents would apreciate it and hold you in high regard. My husband wrote a letter to my dad in Finland asking the permission to marry his daughter, and to this day my family has a high opinion of him. So, it's not just latin families that think respecting family ties and local customs has a high symbolic value.
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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elmodefoque says on Oct 8, 2004, 10:16:

I’ll you give elmodefoques I’ll give you elmodefoques opinion on this matter
Are you marring her or her parents? Who the hell cares what those old fools think anyway. The hell with colombia and their old fashion traditions. Unless the girl is 7 years old, the hell with them. If she’s an adult, then she is the one who should decide if you're the one that gets to bang her for the rest of her life (do you really want to do that?) or not. My daughter has been dating this guy for 5 years; I just met that sonamanbiche a couple weeks ago, and gave him my deepest sympathy, because my daughter is extremely high maintenance with a vicious temper, but I've never seen anyone stop NYC traffic like she does. She’s a tall brunette, big breast, and Jennifer Lopez ass. And she’s the main reason why I’m not attracted to brunettes, is hard to put someone on all fours that looks like your damn daughter. That’s why I go nuts for blondes, because with them I could do every crazy sexual fantasy. I think a shrink might be able to help me with this.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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tiopipe says on Oct 8, 2004, 18:42:

Yes ...ask for the bendicion By all means, do this. Hopefully, you understand that elmo is a sh#t disturber in certain aspects, and while he is a Latin...he's taking you way off base on this one. First, as an American you are held in pretty high regard in Colombia so you need to measure up to this. Second, anything you can do to make a connection with the latin culture is a positive. After all, you probably dated alot of American women and look...you're going to marry a Colombiana...that tells you something. Colombia's culture is in lots of ways is in the 50s & 60s...so what if its old fashion?...showing respect to the people who in many ways made your future wife what she is today only makes sense.
Your first steps with your in-laws can set the tone forever...this is more important than your first day at work...so you need to do it right.
Be sincere, don't give too many gifts, just follow your wife's lead. Remember, it is not custom to give the family big gifts or anything like that. A friend of mine got tricked into giving a living room set to the new in-laws...and when the b*tch go to the US all she could do was complain about her new house & how she had to redeocrate and everything was wrong....ultimately, they fought and thank Gosh, divorced.
Sincere Colombians, no matter how humble, are not going to lead with their hand out (for money). You need to size up your wife's family because they will be a part of your life for quite awhile...(like forever). So while you are busy trying to make a good impression on the family, they will be trying to make a good one on you. Keep in mind you are going to be giving their daughter a new life with lots of extra opportunity in the US...which seems to be a frequent Latin dream. Look at elmo....

Chao, Pipe

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elmodefoque says on Oct 12, 2004, 08:39:

I don’t understand why some people think I’m some clown and bulls--t artist. From where do they get that ridiculous idea? In this case I’m serious as a heart attack. If you let the in-laws meddle in your life, you’re looking for trouble. I don’t understand why an adult should ask permission from anyone with something as important as choosing your mate for life. I completely understand if the bride was only 9 years old, in that case then you definitely need the mother consent but not before they take the groom and throw him in prison, GP (general population) unit, were he will get a daily dose of beat down and rape and not in PC (protective custody) unit were all the punks are house.
As far as I know, this is the year 2004 and the days of a guy asking parents for permission to wed their legal age daughters is over. In the old days permission was absolutely necessary because in most case they all had to live under the same roof to help out with farm chores, etc.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 12, 2004, 12:55:

it's just good manners Of course, it's not a permission to marry we're talking about here; it's a bendicion; really just a formality, but it makes both parts to feel good about this proposal. A marriage is always a social contract; both families are involved and observing a bit of social grace to make this union agreeable for both families is just such a minor effort for huge dividends, both short-term and long-term.
Showing consideration and caring for other person's feelings will, I hope, never become old-fashined.
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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JT says on Oct 12, 2004, 18:15:

Ask them before you propose if you can My fiancee's mom and family live in Cartagena, but her Father lives/works in New Jersey. And my girlfriend didn't tell her dad about me untill we were engaged. She knew he was kinda jealous of his daughters and thought he would be opposed to her and I being together. Anyway, when she did tell him, he was very cool, and the whole family was surprised that he wasn't threatening my life. Well, he did however tell me not to touch his daughter within the first 2 minutes of our 1st conversation.
When I was in Colombia this summer, I asked the mother for her consent before I proposed. Over the phone, I told the Father I wanted to meet him the following month when I was going to be back to the US. And I know that my fiancee, father, mother and whole family appreciated the fact that I drove across 5 states so he could meet me and to ask for his blessing. I took my Dad too, so it was obvious that I was serious and that my family was supportive and happy for us too. When I asked for her fathers consent (concent???) he said: "Bueno, ya esta hecho" jajaja

Its a great idea to ask for the parents permission and blessing, even if you are going to get married no matter what.

JT

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 13, 2004, 16:08:

When my wife got married the first time, her family did not approve and they were not even present at her wedding. She vowed it would be different the second time around and it was. I talked to her mother by phone from San Andres and who knows, my Spanish was so bad, I might have been asking her mother if I could marry her!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Gringomia says on Oct 13, 2004, 18:50:

traditions reply SHE IS IN COLOMBIA AND HER MOTHER,FATHER AND BROTHER ARE HERE IN MIAMI.I WAS WANTING TO ASK HER PARENTS WHILE SHE IS COLOMBIA.I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH THAT WELL,I USUALLY GO DOWN FOR LUNCH OR DINNER ON SUNDAYS.HER BROTHER SPEAKS ENGLISH,HER FATHER SPEAKS ALITTLE,HER MOTHER NOTHING.i GUESS IAM SCARED,IT IS JUS INTIMIDATED ASKING A FAMILY TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH THEIR DAUGHTER.ALSO IF YOU HAVE ANY TIP FOR TRAVELING TO BOGOTA PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
tHANKS TERRY
Bartlettjr at aol.com

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