colombian mother and thier sons hugging

utopiacowboy says on Jan 11, 2005, 17:10:

I observe this myself with my wife and her children. The oldest is 15 and he is very American-oriented and behaves like a normal American teenager with his mother. His brother is 14 and behaves exactly in the manner that you describe. Sometimes my wife tolerates it and sometimes she will get tired of him and get him to leave her alone. I pretty much stay out of it and let my wife deal with it herself but I am glad that my own sons do not behave this way. Who wants a momma's boy? To me, there are overtones of sexuality to it and I don't think it's healthy at all.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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paisa29 says on Jan 11, 2005, 17:42:

that is pretty normal here in Colombia, we are very affectionate people and enjoy a lot kissing, hugging and saying beautiful words to people who we love.

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ColombianoX says on Jan 11, 2005, 19:09:

Unlike other cultures, colombian parents and children are very close and openly express their affection and love for one another. When we turn eighteen, our parents don't almost kick us out of our house and many children gladly stay at home with their parents until they either finish college or get married.


ColombianoX

'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

ColombianoX 'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 11, 2005, 19:15:

I drew the line at his seeing her naked after a shower. I told her that in our culture it is not acceptable for a 14 year old boy to be seeing his mother naked. If he wants to see naked women he can download porn from the internet like everyone else. I am very close to my own children but I am not making a habit of fondling my teenage daughters or watching them naked. You can call it "closeness" but I do not think it is healthy.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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ColombianoX says on Jan 11, 2005, 19:17:

Well I must agree with you there, Utopia. Seeing his mom naked at fourteen? What's that about?

CX

ColombianoX 'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 11, 2005, 19:25:

I must admit that she is lovely to look at but I wouldn't want to be looking at my mother naked even if she looked like Sofia Vergara. I don't have a problem with hugging and hand-holding and saying affectionate things. I'm all in favor of that!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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ColombianoX says on Jan 11, 2005, 19:32:

"I must admit that she is lovely to look at but I wouldn't want to be looking at my mother naked even if she looked like Sofia Vergara."

Hahaha, you know Sofia has a son that's about 13 by now, that poor kid! I'm sure his friends want to come over all the time, and not exactly to play with him.


CX

ColombianoX 'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

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zydeco says on Jan 11, 2005, 20:21:

post a picture utopiacowboy, why don't you just post a naked picture of your wife here and we can all give you a more informed opinion ;-))

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miamimike says on Jan 12, 2005, 09:06:

Like All In The Family Londonmale-I see this not only with Colombians but with Dominicans also here in Miami.My Buddy was married to a Barranquillera(seperated and divorcing now after 2 years of marrige) and this used to drive him crazy. He told me when he would return to his house he would find the threesome(mom and 2 sons)all on the Bed in his room snuggled up watching TV. The sons were like 17 and 19-not kids by any means. Well now they are gone so this is not an issue of contention any longer.

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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Lowell says on Jan 12, 2005, 09:34:

Latin Affection I too was suprised when I observed affection between people that I was not used to seeing in the States. My family was not touchy, affectionate and loving. I have no memories of even shaking the hand of my father. It was then that I realized how wrong my values were. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that there is affection without sexual feelings. Different types of love. Love for God. Love for family and friends. Love for the person special in your life. I think its great that many Latin people don't have personal barriers about touching and holding others. I see girls arm in arm enjoying the day, walking , laughing and talking. A son warmly greating his mother. Two men in a short hug, while greating each other. Sister and brothers close. Older children enjoying their younger siblingings. To me, it's a beter more wholesome way of life. I don't know if there is a connection or not. However, it seems like there are less reported crimes of passion reported in Latin countries.

It aint all about sex.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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miamimike says on Jan 12, 2005, 09:48:

Cultural Privacy Barriers Lowell-its not to say one is wrong the other is right(that is up to a certain point) NorthAmericans and Northern Europeans have a distinct privacy barrier for example when speaking to one another. If I recall its around 18-20 inches and we as a rule here in the USA don't violate this space,as the saying goes "Get out of my face"--there is truth to this. Its our culture and our greetings are different--we are not a touchy feely type of people. When in Rome, do as the Romans do!

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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oldbongo says on Jan 12, 2005, 10:10:

this is loco... lowell splained it perfectly..

the oldgringo thinks that londonmale has not
spent much time on with PEOPLE the coast,...families.

en mi commandante's family, a typical one,there are
four brothers,two sisters,and mom.
they all have partners,(except for the youngest),
and they are all like monkeys with each other.
everybody dances champeta together like its illegal,
and this is repeated everywhere in the barrio.
if any of these teenage colombianos heard this, they would crack up.

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pablorojas says on Jan 12, 2005, 10:17:

Cultural Differences vs Unhealthy Sexuality There are two types of customs regarding family relations that I have known to have shocked Americans:

The first is in Middle Eastern cultures. My aunt lives in Saudi Arabia and says that, because men and women are so isolated from each other, men tend to become touchy-feely in a sexual way with each other in a sexual way, the same goes for women. This is because of forced social standards, the roots of which may be Islam, but i really do not know.

The second is in cultures such as that of my Colombia. This, from my own experience, is different. In the US, "growing up" represents total independence and a slight severing of the relationship between children and parents. It is true from my own expereince that people from the US see sexuality where it doesnt exist, which is why children and parents do not hug, kiss, or talk taht much after a certain age in the US. In Colombia, a kiss is not necessarily sexual as it is in the US, and you may also notice men of various ages with their arms around each other's shoulders in a friendly way. THis, i think is healthy, and should not be taken as sexual. -Other non-physical behavior between Colombian people can be noticed as different than in the US: more conversations between people of all ages, more expressiveness, etc. So what some foreigners would describe as sexual behavior, is just another example of the openness Colombians exhibit and are proud of.

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pablorojas says on Jan 12, 2005, 10:21:

Referring to Lowell.... Time magazine came out with an article about happiness, which says that Spain, Puerto Rico, Colombia, and Brazil rank as some of the happiest countries on earth. Indeed, this affection that Lowell describes as wholesome enriches the life of Latin people and never leaves doubt in their mind that they have people to count on. Less crimes of passion is probably the result of higher happiness about their close relationships. I have cousins who watch American movies that teens find hilarious because of sex jokes and, although they speak perfect English, they can never understand the sexual jokes that involve the cultural barriers some people in the US have to curb their affectionate behavior.

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elmodefoque says on Jan 12, 2005, 10:34:

If my mom looked like Sofia Vergara, hell yeah, I’ll bang her! Seriously, maybe because I grew up in cold NYC and never really had a family to show me any affection I tend to be suspicious of a teenager been way too close with his mother, I definitely check to see if has any Liza Minnelli cd. or Broadway musical posters hanging in his room.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 12, 2005, 15:07:

Yeah, you're right, Londonmale, I draw the line at dry humping and frenching. Anything further than that, no way. He can go spank his monkey with Internet porn.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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justino says on Jan 13, 2005, 07:46:

But think about this... American kids are more likely to kiss their mom, grandmother, or aunts ON THE LIPS! That's a big no-no in Latin culture. My grandmother and mom still try to sneak them on me, but I give 'em the cheek. I'm a latinized gringo now and interpret that which is not sexual in my native culture as sexual now; it makes me uncomfortable. These interpretations of right and wrong behavior are quite arbitrary. Maybe even a passionate kiss between two lovers is taught by society, though I would hope and suspect that the drive for sex is hard-wired.

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Mark Antony Turner says on Jan 13, 2005, 08:47:

Hugging and touching inappropriate? or natural? I travel to Colombia Cartagena about once every 3 months, Colmbians are in general impoverished they do not have what we have in the way of economical opportunity, wealth and materialism, the only thing they have is thier relationships with each other, that is why there is so much affection closeness or proximaty amongst themselves, my question is this is that type of affectionate touching strange? or are we strange? should we learn from them about what true love and affection toward each other?, is this the reason therei s so much disfunctionality and divorce in American families and marriage?, is this the reason multitudes of men like me migrate to Colombia for this type of affection , they cant reieve in America, I wished I could hug and hold hands with my 15 year old daughter, I tired it before, she would thouht I was crazy!!

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ColombianoX says on Jan 13, 2005, 09:55:

"American kids are more likely to kiss their mom, grandmother, or aunts ON THE LIPS!"

You are so right Justino! That kissing on the mouth between gringo relatives has always seemed so inappropriate to me, and we have some anglos here who accuse us of a "sexual element" in our displays of affection, the hypocrisy!

"The typical Colombian family with Brother wrapped around Mom on the sofa while Sister is knocked up from some guy and Dad is off porking one of his amigitas. Works for me."

Where did this idiot come from? You're insulting the pigs by using that nick.



ColombianoX

'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

ColombianoX 'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

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Lionheart says on Jan 13, 2005, 11:58:

The Peck In France I learned to give the friendship peck on one or both cheeks including a short firm embrace when greeting a friend or saying good-bye ... it is tradition, and if you don't do it you are impolite and receive disrespect. When I went to Spain I noticed it to be even warmer and more personal, also between men. But no harm done. And I noticed that all kids and parents are touchy feely as well, also to friends of the family ... but no dirty thoughts ... it must be the US puritanism that immediately thinks bad, as if all are latent pedophiles here.

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nanis says on Jan 13, 2005, 12:18:

I think that after a certain age a parent and a child whether it's mother and son or father and daughter should be more aware of the privacy in each others lives for example a son should know that after a certain age he has to bathe himself and not expect his mum to do it and that after a certain age children need to sleep on their own bed, i also do not let anyone kiss my daughter on her lips not even her father! i know there is nothing sexual about it but it's purely for hygenic reasons you know that adults can sometimes put their lips in some nasty places! but as for taking their hands when they cross the street i don't see what the big deal is...

i also know a family where the mother slept with her own son! she got pregnant and their daughter was born into the family thinking that her father was the womans husband when he really was her grandfather and her real father was her brother! i know it sounds confusing but it's true when the girl found out she was 20 years old and she went completely mad and became a prostitute before killing herself.

and my little cousin was sexually abused by her gringo father who was so obsessed with her beauty and wouldn't let anybody touch her! it turns out that he was abusing her himself more like in love with his own daughter he used to seat her on his knees and make love bites on her neck.. gross! my cousin is now a young depressed lady with a lot of issues i really feel for her

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bitt3rvanilla says on Jan 14, 2005, 07:49:

Funny Nuclear families are often the most important thing in latin american cultures in general. I have seen the very same thing in London among British fathers and daughters though...
However, as you know, latin people tend to be extra physical about everything, so unless you see them making out then it is pretty normal. Dont freak out, you'll probably get used to it.

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Mark Antony Turner says on Jan 14, 2005, 07:52:

Hugging and holding hands paternal love or sexual overtures? I think we all realize that, sexual or sensual feelings toward sibilings, partents and children is inapproropriate or immoral but are these generalizations and stereotypes about Colombians? or are we begging the question that it is inappropriate for parents and children to display physcial affection by holding hands and kissing?

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lpdiver says on Jan 14, 2005, 11:15:

Lionheart Call it cultural or whatever. In Africa and the Phillipines...I have been told it is common for men to walk down the street holding hands. It may be true for all I know but there is some lines I won't cross.
If if is culturally accepted to french kiss other men don't mean I'm a gonna do it. I won't judge them but don't expect me to join in.

My Japenese au-pair was a bit put off by my opening doors and allowing her to go in first. I told her that in Japan I will treat her this way.

"cook some rice!"

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Lionheart says on Jan 14, 2005, 12:18:

lpdiver - for your comfort The official French Kiss isn't actually a kiss at all. If you take a close look on TV or in the movies, you will notice that most never actually touch the other's face, and not with their lips, but with their cheeks. Only when a real friendship exists you can touch, cheeck to cheek, pretending to peck. A real peck only happens when true affection exists.

I have seen men walking hand in hand in arabic/mediteranean countries ... I am not too sure about that, tbh. I know that many European homosexuals visit North Africa like heterosexuals visit Thailand. Due to the family structure in those countries I have read that homosexuality is quite accepted ... but I personally wouldn't know.

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ARMacleod says on Jan 14, 2005, 12:21:

Oops, that went wrong. There is a certain religeon in which it is believed that the true god will be born of man. perhaps that is the reason for the hand holding?

Laa, atkallaam AHrabee kateer.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions. ¡El diablo me hizo lo hago! But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 14, 2005, 19:04:

Fair enough, James. What religion explains the dry humping and the french kissing?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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ARMacleod says on Jan 15, 2005, 02:37:

Jings, UC - can of worms here? That would be Christian I expect. Luke - 'do unto others as thou wouldst do unto thyself'-- JamesVH; but you do it first.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions. ¡El diablo me hizo lo hago! But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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lpdiver says on Jan 15, 2005, 04:58:

Lionheart Actually I was refering to San Francisco (aka the gay bay). My ex wife had a cousin and we visited their home their. My point was that although it may be ok to do some tings in some places culturally I don't automatically feel obliged to do so if it goes counter to MY cultural comfort zones.

If for example is customay to fondle male genetalia in outer Elboneya:
I'm probably not going there and if I do I guess I'm going to offend a lot of people. I am not bashing ANY cultural practices but don't feel automatically obliged to partake.

Real life example was at my wedding in Medellin. My sister in law owns a beauty salon there. The graciously agreed to clean the diver up for the wedding. About half of the family was in my homeymoon sweet and I stripped to boxers and t shirt and she went to work. She trimmed my beard up. They don't like beards past about the sevenday stage there and my papa noel beard had to go. She also cut my hair no problem. But no damn way was she gonna paint dis here coonassses nails clear or not! I got all kind of explainations from every one in the room anbout how I should let her paint my nails.

Bottom line it didn't happen and no one got offended enough not to speak to me. They respected my limitations and I theirs.

"cook some rice!"

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