Colombian Marriage Customs

maraca says on Jan 18, 2006, 05:28:

that sounds like a lot of money... The usual is that the brides parents pay for the wedding, but this is nothing like a must. What is indeed very usual is that the boy offers paying the liquor, and that helps the bride a lot. Any way, an understanding grown up couple will agree in paying for it together.

If the bride doesnt have the means to do it well, and the guy has to pay for it, then im sure she will have to be a bit considerate and not make it to expensive unless you want it to be really big.

And about the tickets... well thats up to you how much you love her and how much money you have to please her. Many of us have got married without having our parents next to us and we survived.

If they are in Colombia, you can always come on holydays and re-marry.

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Brians says on Jan 18, 2006, 05:51:

I am paying the full boat on our wedding We are having a Church ceremony in Medellin next month. I never even thought to ask her mother for money. I have covered everything. My mother in law is a widowed mother with three kids. Her income is good as she was left fairly well off with real estate. However I am sure I do a lot better. She never demanded we have this service in Medellin. This is something my wife and I wanted to do. Therefore we never even thought to ask her mom. She has helped with all the planning and if she decides to contribute then great but I would not expect it nor be put out. We are telling our guests not to bring gifts and we have a pretty elaborate trip planned for everyone. This is our party and we understand that it will cost us a bit. However the price of the memories of our Colombian friends and American friends meeting and having a fiesta together is worth every penny.

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seammckenna126 says on Jan 18, 2006, 06:58:

loosen up I would have to agree with Maraca. You reach a certain age when it's almost silly to have your parents foot the bill for such a large item...(unless of course you come from an upper income family). Some people just simply do not have that kind of extra money. I do sympathize with your frustration. You may consider having a big pre-wedding party/going away party there (Colombia I'm speaking of). We are having a priest bless our rings and say some other nice things without actually performing a ceremony. The 150 people or so of family and friends can join in the celebration and wish us luck, ect. Then have a smaller wedding here for your side. You will get alot more for your money there. I agree with not putting yourself in financial hardship over it, You can only afford what you can, but if it's not going to hurt...loosen up the purse strings dude. If your in love...I assume you think she's worth it. If her parents really can't afford to help, what do you expect them to do, rob a bank to get the money just to even it out?

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 18, 2006, 08:13:

My only advice is this: ask her what happens with her garter at the reception.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Crazy4Cali says on Jan 18, 2006, 12:15:

Ouch... WRT: "And about the tickets... well thats up to you how much you love her and how much money you have to please her."

If you need money to please her, you could be in for some trouble. I don't think love can be measured in money, though divorce lawyers like to take that approach. OTOH, if you can afford to buy new tires and custom wheels for your car or a big-screen TV for the living room, but not afford a decent wedding, then I can see some grounds for "discussion."

I would think a more rational approach to the problem is to discuss practicalities. This can be difficult when you're talking about weddings as all sorts of fairy-tale images start to cloud the discussion, but be realistic and practical. Given a fixed amount of money, you may have to decide between a simple wedding with the folks or a more elaborate wedding without them. What's more important to everyone?

In our case, we opted for the simple wedding in the states and when we go back to Colombia, we'll have a bigger fiesta with the family (where your fiesta peso goes a lot further). Is that a possibility?

If she is saying you need to pay for a big wedding AND fly her parents in... Well, if that is simply beyond your means and she refuses to budge, then you've got bigger problems to worry about.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 18, 2006, 13:14:

Well if you follow the custom, the parents bride pay the whole wedding, because is the last present they give to her daughter. my parents paid for everything except the wedding cake which was paid by my husband. don't ask me why

UC. I never had a garter. ;)

engage brain before opening mouth

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 19, 2006, 06:11:

All I can say is Larry was a lucky guy if you had no garter. Too bad for the solteros at your reception though. I bet one of them would have loved taking it off with his teeth.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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