Colombian girls - promiscuous?

elmodefoque says on Dec 29, 2004, 11:02:

man, i'm sitting here biting my lips. i better just keep quiet.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 29, 2004, 11:18:

It sounds like you have something against little sluts, Tzion? Why? Greg doesn't think the girls in Medellin are slutty enough, maybe you should try there. If that doesn't work, you can always do what I did and invest in a high quality inflatable doll.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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tzion says on Dec 29, 2004, 11:27:

*eyeroll* No, Utopia, I've nothing against them. Whatever works, right. I just don't want to marry one. Sue me. =P

I'm just wondering if they also tend to ignore Catholic teachings on fidelity in marriage the way they seem to ignore teaching on premarital sex.

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ShazCas says on Dec 29, 2004, 11:34:

Colombia and Catholicism In Colombia, many people cross themselves in front of graveyards and churches, have holy communion and follow many other traditions of the Catholic church, but they don't all necessarily go inside the churches for mass or follow the religion strictly.

To compare Colombia and Ireland, I would say that generally Colombians are less inhibited and have a much looser idea of what a Catholic is. I was surprised at how relaxed the attitudes about sex were, given that it's supposed to be such a Catholic country, and also happy to see that in many cases people are more open and relaxed about themselves than in many cases in Ireland.

In cities especially, there is a lot of information and support regarding sexual health, which is a good thing. However, many girls end up pregnant for many reasons - a lack of sound sexual education and support from the home and school, the fact that the pill is not free and nor are condoms, abortions are available but expensive, illegal (therefore risky) and frowned on in the Catholic church, and so on. Many fathers of these children are mostly not obliged to pay support and simply disappear. Even though society is becoming more egalitarian, Colombia can still be very traditional in many respects, so many of these young women simply don't have the courage to ask their boyfriends to use a condom or think that if the have sex standing up/with clothes on, etc, that they won't get pregnant.

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 29, 2004, 11:54:

Sure, Tzion, that's why they have Confession and Penance. You get a clean slate and then you can start sinning again. It sounds like you're worried that your Colombian wife may turn out to be a little slut. Personally I recommend the high-quality inflatable dolls.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 29, 2004, 12:05:

Dude, the year 2005 is just around the corner, no way in hell are you going to find too many girls with zero mileage these days. Most girls in their late teens, early 20’s already have high mileage maybe 25,000. miles and that’s ok. If you want women with zero mileage try the Taliban women of Afghanistan.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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ShazCas says on Dec 29, 2004, 12:11:

Infidelity I don't think it's a good idea to start with the idea that Colombian women are more unfaithful than any other - you can't generalise a whole country like that when each person and every relationship is different. You have to be truly in love to be faithful, and happy in your relationship. If you're not happy or it's not meant to be, the chances are you'll stray eventually, whether you're a man or a woman. A woman is not unfaithful to her husband because of her nationality, in my opinion.

But if we're going to generalise, Colombian women are traditionally known for often being faithful in marriage, whereas Colombian men are famous for being unfaithful. Of course, this statement is meaningless if you meet your true love and live happily ever after, or if you make a mistake and marry someone who doesn't love you or if the chemistry fizzles out. What I'm trying to say is that it all depends on the individual, the couple and fate (in my opinion anyway).

You can't guarantee success in a marriage - it can't be a 100% sure thing. It's always a gamble, I mean, who knows if you'll want to be with your partner in 20 years' time? And them with you? If you work hard at the relationship, remain open and keep the flames alight, then you've got a good chance.

"Promiscuous"? What a silly word!! Women like sex as much as men do, unless they are repressed by the society they live in and are told they can't. A woman won't be unfaithful because she's "promiscuous". It'll be because there's something missing in the relationship.

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 29, 2004, 12:17:

Can you clear something up for me? If as you say, "Colombian women are traditionally known for often being faithful in marriage, whereas Colombian men are famous for being unfaithful", who are the Colombian men unfaithful with? Are there a few little sluts who are doing the whole country? Do they use inflatable dolls? And where does this leave Greg, who went to Medellin, and could only find a few sicarias and couldn't find any little sluts?

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Dec 29, 2004, 12:48:

a good question, cowboy. I've been wondering about that myself. A while back we did a little research on the demography of Colombia to find out if it was true that there's a huge surplus of available women in different age groups. It turned out that there is a slight surplus, especially in some age groups, but nothing that would explain the claims of there being enourmous quantities of unmarried women available for every unmarried man. It's nearly even.
I don't really know, but I suspect that men just talk more about their unfaithfulness than women. I think that Colombian women's attitude towards sex is basically pragmatic. Whatever works for them is ok. The Catholicism is often only skin-deep: "el que reza y peca empata". The end justifies the means.
Female infidelity is not socially accepted or even tolerated by many men, who definitely practice the double standard: a guy with a lot of girlfriends is the envy of his male buddies, while the woman with just a slightest slip is considered a slut. Women know that and have created this myth of being faithful and dedicated spouses no matter what. The whore and the madonna myth lives on in Colombia.
This is just one side of the coin. It's much more intricate than that in reality. Girls are raised up from the tender age of five or six to be small seductresses. The looks is everything, accompanied with a sweet disposition and virtuous character. It's the traditional way to raise up girls for a good marriage. At the same time, the society is being both strict and permissive towards sex. Premarital sex is not ok, because "why would a man buy a cow if he can get the milk for free?" However, even a redeemed prostitute is forgiven at any given time, if she has found herself a husband and quit walking the streets.
This ambivalence towards male/female sexuality creates all kinds of strange patterns of behaviour.
(I knew I shouldn't have gotten into this conversation....)
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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viewpoint says on Dec 29, 2004, 15:05:

Choices I think that you find more women with children (as a percentage) on the marriage websites seeking foreign men in part because Colombian men want to raise their own children rather than someone elses.

Quite simply they have enough choices to do so. Me, I have found that raising step-children can be sometimes more rewarding than raising your own children. I have a Colombian stepson at home that's 8 years old and I love every minute I spend with him but his mother drives both of us both crazy.

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tzion says on Dec 29, 2004, 16:14:

OK OK, I think some of you misunderstood me. I'm just baffled as to how come that apparently every girl in what is meant to be a staunch Catholic country is screwing around like nobody's business.

Elmodefoque, which part of "I wasn't expecting to find a virgin" was not clear to you?? I wasn't passing any moral judgment but was merely wondering. Geez, lighten up, dude!

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tzion says on Dec 29, 2004, 16:16:

To everyone else, thanks for your effort. I'm still not too clear on Colombiana's "moral values" though. I know Peruvian and Ecuadorian girls are comparable to Indian ladies in terms of fidelity, etc. so I presumed it was similar with Colombianas...

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 29, 2004, 16:37:

Well, Tzion, what were you alluding to about the Peruvian and Ecuadorian women? Are they little sluts? As for the Colombianas, it appears they really like screwing. Of course I only know what I read on the internet having no personal experience of my own. Better be careful who you bring back, she may be an unexpected treat for the mailman, the milkman, the guy at the dry cleaners....

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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isaactraveler says on Dec 29, 2004, 16:43:

dammit Desi!! hey how was your holiday? HEHEH GOTCHA

hey tzion. I think the real reason is the lack of good television programming. If they wanted to stem the tide of unwed pregnancies, they need to show Passion de Gavilanes at least 5 times a day.

Btw, TZION you really are generalizing here. there are alot more catholics in the U.S. Also, as to demographics, I think the men lie to look like they are studly, and the women lie because they like to be included in lists.

Utopia, just because you paint a face on an inflatable pool float does not make it an inflatable doll (unless you also drew IN the long hair and condongas)

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 29, 2004, 16:49:

Hey, are you making fun of my drawing? I think it looks like a girl.

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Mariangela says on Dec 29, 2004, 17:14:

Middle class reality Hi, everybody! I have been away for a while visiting family in Colorado. This topic is interesting to me because I know several girls, friends and family members who have gotten pregnant before getting married. The common denominator of the cases I know is that the girls come from very good, middle class, decent, conservative and religious families; they are good girls, somewhat sheltered, not your typical party girls who go to bed with every man they date. From my experience growing up in Bogotá, I can tell you that the middle class families in general overprotect their daughters, don't talk openly about sex and consider sex a dirty or prohibited thing. You know that when you fall in love and you are very young, your hormones go crazy, you are filled with passion and lust and the more prohibited sex is, the more appealing. All the teachings of the Catholic Church and the strict family rules are easily forgotten or ignored in the heat of passion. Many young couples have fast sex sporadically, like in the bathroom of their parent’s house while the parents are upstairs, or in the car, etc. Since the young people in Colombia don’t have the economic means to be independent and can’t afford to rent their own place, they have to be very creative when finding a place and a moment to let their passion flow. Young women and young men live with their parents until they get married and move away.

The kinds of girls I am talking about are still kind of naive and believe that the guy they are in love with and having sex with will marry them because they have had intimacy and their commitment is strong because of that. They thing their now boyfriend will be their future husband. Many feel embarrassed about asking their family doctor for contraceptives since the doctor knows the parents, etc, they may not even have the money to purchase the pills on a regular basis because most of them go to school full time, don’t work and rely of the money their parents give them for basic expenses. They feel intimidated buying condoms in the store because they are afraid somebody will see them. They still want to look like the innocent girls everybody thinks they are. They pretty much rely on calculating the safe days to have intercourse, and often their calculations fail.
The young guys are pretty immature and spoiled, living with their parents, going to some private college, having an easy life with mommy, daddy, and a maid that does all the house chores. They maybe in love but are not ready to get married and provide for a family. So, usually the girl ends up having the baby and still living with her parents who pay for everything, and the guy often stays around for a while and then goes his own way after finishing his career.
In Colombia is very hard for a woman who already has a kid to find a man who is willing to marry her and raise her child. Men run way from them. No middle class family wants her son to marry a woman who has a kid with ho father. You know that social pressure is heavy on Colombia. So, that is maybe one of the reasons why you see many Colombian single mothers wanting to date foreigners, with the hope to find a soul mate, a man that respects them and a father for their children, after a sour experience due to bad luck, immaturity or irresponsibility.
One of my cousins is going through this experience right now, 4 months pregnant, the family is angry, sad and disappointed, and her boyfriend won’t marry her because his father won’t let him. Of course, I think he probably doesn’t want to get married either. She will continue to go to school and her family will help her take care of the baby. Who knows what the future holds for her.
Mariángela

Mariángela

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Save the Wildcats says on Dec 29, 2004, 17:16:

Hi Mariángela We missed you! Welcome back. I was worried you'd left us. Good to see you.

Happy Holidays!

Kim

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Mariangela says on Dec 29, 2004, 17:22:

Thanks! Very sweet of you, Kim. I am just very busy with my kids and have little time to come to the site. Happy New Year to you and all of the PBH friends!
Mariángela

Mariángela

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ColombianoX says on Dec 29, 2004, 18:06:

"Colombian girls - promiscuous?"

Tzion,

I find the title of your topic offensive. You should have titled it: "Colombian mail-order brides - promiscuous?", not "Colombian girls"! Don't make disrespectul generalizations about all colombian girls based on what you've seen in some sordid matrimonial websites.

ColombianoX

'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

ColombianoX 'Defensor de la Colombianidad'

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 29, 2004, 18:12:

What did you think about Mariangela's response? She made it sound as though it was quite a common event even among conservative middle-class girls. I guess there's nothing left for them except "sordid matrimonial websites".

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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calipro says on Dec 29, 2004, 18:21:

"Colombian girls - promiscuous?" Tzion

I also find your title offensive.

I think it should read "Are colombianos responsible fathers?"

I just can't see knocking up a little teeny bopper and leaving her for the american guys to take over.

What kills me sometimes is when most often the colombiano doesn't provide for the child what so ever and or visit the child. But when the girl finally gets a break and meets an american that wants to marry her and take care of the child, the american often has to pay the colombiano to sign the papers to let the child leave the country.

I don't know how some of these guys can sleep at night.

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JamieJ says on Dec 30, 2004, 00:25:

Tzion
The women are correct and ColombianoX (The Shame of Colombia) as usual is wrong. Only MalcomX... I mean ColombianoX (X for Xtra Stupid) would tell someone not to generalize about Colombian women and than make a generalization about the same representative Colombian women who join marriage agencies.

Most Colombian women that I have met feel good about their sexuality. They enjoy being women and flirting or even seducing. I however doubt that single Colombian women are having more sex than single American women or having more partners and I believe more Colombian women wait until marriage before having sex. Young, single mothers is a growing problem in Colombia and not confined to girls who join foreign dating agencies.
Jamie
Engage The Exotic - Colombian Women

Jamie

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