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Colombia and the Spanish connection.

There is no denying Colombias connection to Spain, I, on the other hand HAVE NO connection what so ever to them. NOT A SINGLE drop of Spanish blood runs thru my veins, Arab yes, but definitely not Spanish. I am for ever grateful to the Spaniards for one thing, and to me, is the most positive contribution they brought to my world and that’s the donkey!
Yesterday, I was catching up on Chibcha’s traditions, the indigenous blood of all cachacos, so I’m not talking from experience but from what I read in a book. You ever notice why most cachacos are short, light skin and red cheeks modefoques? That’s their Chibcha blood. My Indian blood is from the hot northern Colombian Caribbean coast, very different from Chibchas. Anyway, I found that the swinging and tossing of a goat is done every first day of spring. The goat has to be caught first, then grabbed by the balls and tossed, not an easy task when that modefoque is kicking, biting and screaming. I guarantee you be screaming too if someone was swinging you by your balls.
As for gringos connection to their mother land England, I see few traditions kept alive outside the English language which the gringos managed to mangle pretty good. Any of you gringo modefoques ever play “cricket” or maybe you like your beer room temperature? I don’t think so! After hanging around gringos most of my life, I think I know a few things about them. They don’t know Jack Schitt from cricket and find that game a little too feminine. Another sport which gringos could care less about is Rugby. Man, talk about a homo sport, what’s with those very tiny tight ass shorts and guys piling up on top of each. WTF is going on in there? Ok, in football guys pile up on top of each other but they wear long pants are beating each other up while the referee is not looking. Most football player are gigantic, muscular, tough black modefoques from the hood and prison with 22 inch johnsons, if you’re a guy don’t even think about kissing one of them. As for beer, gringos love their beer ice cold, warm beer taste like p-ss.

By elmodefoque on Sep 22, 2005, 06:44 in Friendly Talkzone.

bob777 says on Sep 22, 2005, 07:10:

Elmo,

You live a very interesting life, and have an interesting look at things. You really should write a book of your memoirs. :) You could call it "One Modefoque's life" I think most of the PBH members would buy a copy. jaja

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kernow62 says on Sep 22, 2005, 07:45:

If rugby is homo, what does that make the sissyfied offspring American football? Geez these guys only play a few seconds then they get to sit down and take a break and another bunch takes the field, then they run perhaps 8 yards and they sit down for a break. And what's with all the padding, I hear now they are making nail protectors for American football so the fellas don't accidentally break a nail.

Hockey, now there's a sport, what a bunch of softies. They should take lessons from hurling.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Sep 22, 2005, 08:14:

You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. Initially, it would be best if you played association football with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2006.

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Miguel says on Sep 22, 2005, 08:32:

Deportes I played rugby with a bunch of drunken South Africans in another life and my ass remains kicked to this day.
On the goat toss, does anybody remember the name of that game the Afghans play on horseback with a dead goat?
And Modofoque how dare you diss cricket. You would make a great "short fine leg".
Go Yankees. We'll meet you in St. Louis.

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El Jefe says on Sep 22, 2005, 08:46:

Sports Miguel, the Afghan game is called buzkashi.

Kat1, please provide attribution to that comic genius John Cleese for your post making fun of American football.

Any sport with a dose of violence is good for the soul, that includes hockey, football and rugby. I'm not so sure about Afghan goat-grabbing, but to each his own.

Jefe

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 08:47:

i don't know about you guys but as for manly sport, nothing better than football. How you like to be tackle by a 6'7" 350 pound steroid crazed modefoque.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 08:54:

The ancient Scottish tradition of banging sheep is kept well and truly alive from Aberdeen and any place north....hahahaha

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:09:

I though that was the Welsh the sheepbangers.

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:13:

Yeah, i think they have a fondness for the white fluffy creatures in Wales too Kat.
I think there must be something wrong with me, half Scots half Welsh and yet no notions for sheep yet....hahahaha

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Miguel says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:15:

Silly Me I thought it was a Wayuú thing.

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:21:

Here is another thing about rugby that I find strange.
If I’m getting ready for a baseball game, warming up throwing the ball around just before we pick teams and a modefoque throws the ball back to me underhand, that sonamanbiche is definitely not on my team. That's how they pass the ball to each other in rugby, underhand. I’m sorry but that’s the way a girl and Boy George throws, men throw overhand.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kernow62 says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:27:

MacGringo you should have ended your post with babababa. ;-)

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kernow62 says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:30:

Elmo is going to bitch slap anyone who says American football is a girls game.

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bob777 says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:33:

They need to toughen up Basketball. Those tall modefoques don't need to hardly reach, to sink a basket. Its become quite boring. I think they should make basketball full contact. Then see how many baskets are made then jaja

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:39:

In my Wayuu tradition, vernal equinox or spring is celebrated much similar to the Chibchas except once we catch the goat we tie it to a tree and have the male virgin of my tribe ram the goat up the butt. I‘m sad to say, as soon as the kids finish doing the nasty deed, the goats throat is slit from ear to ear. A ritual is performed and then we eat that modefoque.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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BlondeJamesBond says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:40:

Bat 'n' Ball antics Cricket is an awesome sport in which England reign supreme!

Baseball is a slightly glorified version of what we over here call rounders - and that is ONLY played by little school girls.

Basketball is just girly little Netball on steroids.

Rugby is a much tougher sport than American Football, those big fat blokes who play 'gridiron' would have a heart attact 5 minutes into a good game of rugger!

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Miguel says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:46:

Modo That freaking QB for your daughter's Jets should try throwing underhand, because it ain't working the present way. Also Don Elmo, you really should learn how to play cricket. Think of the possibilites when you are wearing fine white cricket attire, being a jolly good short fine leg, playing a match in London, with kat1 and Lauthra serving you tea and crumpets after cheering you on from the sideline. Better than crusing for a skinny ass burra en Malmabo.
Go Yankees.

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:50:

Nice one Kernow, I guess I'm not a true Scotsman.

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 09:51:

i was in central park the other day and saw some indian modefoques playin that. I had no idea what the hell was going on, all i heard was them hitting a freakin rock and then running with a paddle, but soon changed their mind and ran back. WTF was that?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:04:

Is there anywhere in Colombia where I can go and watch a Dwarf Tossing match during my visit?

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Miguel says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:07:

Modo That was the hit and run play...jijiji

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:14:

mac, i would not mind having aguardiente with beers and wachinng some migets get toss around, that sound like fun. let me know if you find out where.
You know, that could be a great business in colombia. hel, they got unlimitted number of midget size modefoques and poor too.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:23:

Yeah they could earn some pesos aslong as they don't mind gettin launched all over the place.
I'll start recruitin for The Midget Super League when I'm over there.
I could show them how its done, I'm only 5'5".

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:33:

is "dwarf tossing" more like "boot throwing" or "wife carrying" both popular in Finland?
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:36:

miguel, the other day i was thinking about that lauthra , what the hell ever happend to her, is she still with Gary or did she decide to see the light and date another colombian, maybe she ran away with colombianoX?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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oldbongo says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:40:

or maybe.. she ran away with me, after all,
i's the by who called her an airhead.

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tucsween says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:42:

HOW DOES A SCOTTSMAN FIND A SHEEP IN THE TALL GRASS?????

QUITE SATISFYIIIN!

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oldbongo says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:42:

and what about.. our indian national game..lacrosse..legal gangs.

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tomtom33 says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:42:

Sheep Maybe UC can tell us about the customs in Montana.

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oldbongo says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:46:

yesterday.. the oldgringo, who has several trophies
in the closet, went to his home course, where he has played thousands of rounds since his bar mitzvah, and shot gretzky.
99 shots to get around. yesterday the oldgringo hung them up.

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tomtom33 says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:52:

OG Was that for 9 or 18? Hope it was the clubs you hung up, not your balls.

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:53:

Allegedly its better to get the sheep at the end of a cliff because it pushes back harder....babababababa

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tucsween says on Sep 22, 2005, 10:56:

MACGRINGO that "allegedly"sounds more like personal experience talking

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:01:

NO COMMENT....

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utopiacowboy says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:15:

Ah, Montana, where the men are men, the women are men and the sheep are nervous. Actually that's the Wyoming state motto.

My two Colombian stepsons love norteamericano football. One plays on the Freshman high school team with one of my sons and his brother plays on the Junior Varsity team with my other son.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kernow62 says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:21:

Soon they will be tough enough for rugby. ;-)

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:36:

uc, if you see one of them toss the ball underhand, better have a long, man to man talk with him, before you find Liza Minelli posters hanging on the wall.
jijijij

I'll get there, when I get there!

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soccerstud says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:48:

i'm sorry but football is for pussys and i'm gay i played rugby and my ass got kicked without padding it hurts. the reson why u wear little in rugby is so u don't give them the chance to grab u. it is way tougher than football i know cuz i've played all kinds of sports.

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:52:

well, that's it, we hear it from an expert. Rugby is tougher than football. any gay football players out there?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 11:55:

hey stud, are talkin about th hey stud, are you talkin about third world football or american football?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Sep 22, 2005, 12:30:

Bob77 thanks, but before I write a book I need to go back to school and learn how to write. Now, if I could sit with a guy like Gabriel Garcia Marquez and share all my experiences with him, we might just come out with a best seller, ok, maybe not a best seller in the New York Times book section but a best seller in La Guajira. A movie outta the book might not be such a bad idea, but I don’t think the world is ready to see a 10 year boy screwing a burra, maybe I’ll keep that part out. I will highlight the day my ex put a plate of hot enchiladas (one chicken one beef), rice and guacamole on my head, smack in the middle of a crowded NYC restaurant. I’m out!

I'll get there, when I get there!

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bob777 says on Sep 22, 2005, 12:52:

Few would argue with me, when I say you are the most entertaining poster on PBH. Then again this group could be a group that is easily entertained. :)

Hmmm... who do you think would play you in a movie?

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tucsween says on Sep 22, 2005, 12:59:

elmo in a movie dude that's easy- eric estrada is a shoe in .
(if he's not in jail for domestic violence at the time)

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kernow62 says on Sep 22, 2005, 12:59:

That Ponch guy from CHIPs.

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 13:23:

Yeah Kernow, that guys a dead ringer for elmo in one of his pictures.

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 13:25:

Or what about the guy who plays Al Pacinos body guard 'Pachanga' in the movie Carlitos Way.

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Rubiazo says on Sep 22, 2005, 13:32:

HAHAHAHAHH If the Rolling Stones had been Scottish their #1 hit woulda been
"Hey McLoud, Get Off of My Ewe" =) =) =)

I grew up playing rugby as did my gf. In Canada we played everything, rugby, Canadian, and American football. One time we were playing on my lawn and I got tackled and hit the side of my head on the sidewalk HARD. That probably explains a lot!

I find American football and basketball the most boring sports to watch on the planet, except for maybe golf. Basketball is fun to play, but not to watch. In NYC basketball is usually played with Dominican rules, which is basically full contact. Much as I don't like Canada, Canadian football is definitely a better sport. As a matter of fact that and the banking system are about all I miss of Canada.

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MacGringo says on Sep 22, 2005, 13:38:

Rubiazo, I like it mate.

Full contact golf is good to watch but not to play, they have a regular Friday night league here in Airdrie(after the boozer)

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