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Caution to all the young lovers

Man, oh man. So it seems my train has come. For all you young lovers reliant on "the shot" as your preferred means of contraceptive, please be advised that I have empirical proof that it is in fact not a 100% safe means of preventing fatherhood. Just when I thought I was making a routine trip to visit the mujer for New Years, I get back to frigid New Jersey to get "the call." That's right, at 25, childhood has officially ended for this one. At first, my North American sensibilities told me pregnancy does not necessarily equal parenthood, but the mujer quickly suggested otherwise. Ah the watchful eye of Dios. So after a turbulent, dream-like first 24 hours or so, and reassurance from my family that I will not be disowned afterall (my mom has even elected to be called "Mamita" to avoid confusion with her own mother-in-law), I have come to accept my self-constructed circumstances. Intense. Life has abruptly changed directions. Things could be worse though - we've almost got 2 years logged in on this adventure and we were probably moving towards a matrimonio anyways, and I'm nearly free from the reigns of grad school, but Life says there is to be no further delay. Plans must be revisited and readjusted. Fatherhood has come a'knockin. Time to hustle. So to all you young lovers, beware. We don't like to think these elements of "reality" will cross our path, but evidently, eventually they do. This will be followed by a barrage of questions about marriage, childbirth, jobs and visas.

By august on Jan 24, 2009, 12:09 in Friendly Talkzone.

goin_south says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:16:

Felicitaciones! y, Bienvenitos!
I hope you get the visa very soon... if that is the goal, so you can be with the kid from the git-go.
If that is what you plan, ... I would go to a office of a congressman and talk to them about EXPEDITION OF YOUR VISA. IT CAN BE DONE... I think this would be an excellent case to get help to expedite.

yep; I think the v-cut, and that only with proven time, is the only thing fail proof.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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manINred says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:18:

Technically speaking, there would need to be many controls in place if you were to be deemed emperical evidence worthy.

First of all, you would need to prove that she did not intentionally get pregnant just to seal the deal!

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manINred says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:20:

It is specifically the last sentence in your paragraphy leaves us begging that question. No disrespect intended, of course.

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goin_south says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:24:

for what? for expedition?

I think if tests proved it's his, and this is what he wants.... then, I would think, no problem.
I spoke not so long ago, with an assistant to a congressman who takes care of immigration issues and she said it's not so much about technicality as it is about 'COMPELLING' Circumstances and compellingly written stories... along with the proof positive tests, to back it up.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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La_Huella says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:25:

Get an abortion, and next time stick with anal sex!

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Alma del Norte (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:26:

Felicidades - prepare to defend yourself!

I mean her.

La vida es una rutina

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manINred says on Jan 24, 2009, 12:29:

We're not talking about paternity tests. What is in question is the validity of Augusts' novia (or him) being a test statistic for failed contraceptive.

Regardless, congrats! I know that i wouldn't particularly want a kid so young, especially right out of grad school. But maybe in 2 years when i'm that age and am out of grad school, it will be a welcome addition to my life.

Make the most of it.

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august says on Jan 24, 2009, 13:06:

Alright, I can tell you guys took good notes in your research methods courses. I meant "empirical" simply in lay terms as "observable." But yes, there are probably some internal and external validity issues there if we're to be technical.

manlNred, I agree a year or two more would be nice, but I don't seem to have that option at this point. As I said, my train has already arrived. Time to jump on.

I'm still reeling from the surrealness of it all right now, but yes, I need to start logging some time on visajourney.com and maybe make some calls to local congresspeople. Kills me because it seems to be a safer option to have the kid delivered in a hospital up here, but "Mom" just finally scored a real, full-time job at the Alcaldia after a LONG time of underemployment. Bah.

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SUERTE GRINGO says on Jan 24, 2009, 13:34:

La_Huella "Get an abortion, and next time stick with anal sex!"

Someone should have given the same advice to your mother.

august,
If it is in fact true congratulations but I know of a few norte-americanos who have had girlfriends tell them they were pregnant when they were not.

“If you're gonna eat your crackers in bed, you're gonna have to sleep with crumbs."

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Saltador says on Jan 24, 2009, 13:46:

Yup, congratulations, but if you do anything without a DNA test, well...no dar papaya.

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goin_south says on Jan 24, 2009, 14:25:

no! really, Suerte Gringo; he ( La Huella) is a gentleman (or, so they say ;-)).. jjaja, funny though.

some how, I don't most of these were the sort of advice/comments august was looking for, although definitely there is much food for thought
He seems a fairly committed bloke. He's got two years in. nothing to sneeze at.

hey, august... how many times you been down there to see her?
(of course! we want to pass some judgement.. jeje) (kiddn)

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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adrimm (Moderator) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 24, 2009, 14:49:

Birth control is finicky - things like antibiotics can make it less effective. A friend's sister found this out the hard way when she was 16.

Best luck, and be sure that she is the one, and you are not just doing the "right thing" otherwise it will be much harder down the road for everyone, especially the child.

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 24, 2009, 15:31:

Do everything you can to prove your paternity before going through a visa process. No offense intended. Good luck!

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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august says on Jan 24, 2009, 15:42:

Ah the expected PBH brutality! Gotta love it! No worries folks, the lady's the real deal. Shit man, she put up with my insistence on living in a dark, moldy garage for 4 months to save some scratch at one point.

South, I've been down there about 5 times in the two years, staying from 2 weeks to 4 months a time. It's tricky to fit these things into a grad school schedule see.

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larryrn says on Jan 24, 2009, 17:38:

On getting a V - don't get the non surgical type where the just cut and solder the vas. They need to remove at least 10 mm from each one and cauterize each side. In Canada they were just doing the non surgical cut and solder and I know 2 who couples who ended up having babies after having a Canadian V.

And to August - make the best of the situation. God works in strange ways!! Follow your heart and soul and you won't go wrong!!

Larry

Your Source for Nursing CEUs - www.RN.ORG - www.RNCE.US - www.EnfermeriaSite.com - www.Enfermeria.US

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timeforachangeofscenery says on Jan 24, 2009, 17:40:

August. congrats man. she sounds like the real deal. Mi colombiana (now mi esposa - senora Timefor) lived with me for a year in a tiny apartment we had to share with my dad. - give me a nice PRIVATE moldy garage any day.

I couldn't imagine ever being with anybody else and if you feel the same way, then that little bebecita is going to be the best thing that has ever happ'd to the two of you. - again, Congrats.

Good luck.

Timefor.

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La_Huella says on Jan 25, 2009, 01:12:

Suerte Gringo, I'll kill myself if you go first, I promise :) We're both expendable, I guarantee you!

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goin_south says on Jan 25, 2009, 22:38:

I'll kill myself if you go first, I promise :)

jajajaj.. !!!!!

sorry, Rubitooooo... I'm not expendable , nor expandable! jja

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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La_Huella says on Jan 26, 2009, 09:33:

My father sells rubbers to NATO
My mom pokes the holes with a pin
My brother performs the abortions
Look how the money rolls in, rolls in!

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Mononoke28 says on Jan 26, 2009, 10:43:

The only method of birth control out there that's 100% is celibacy, all others are not 100% safe. Even the ones that say they're 99.99% safe still have that .01 chance of failure.

Diana

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goin_south says on Jan 26, 2009, 15:44:

now, Mononononoke28;
La Huella's method is definitely 100%.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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manINred says on Jan 26, 2009, 18:46:

"The only method of birth control out there that's 100% is celibacy"

Incorrect! Maria Auxiladora tried that and look where it got her!!!

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La_Huella says on Jan 27, 2009, 00:29:

Robi666 told me "Cazzo in culo non fa figli." ..... I told him that's right and to turn around!

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Mononoke28 says on Jan 27, 2009, 10:14:

Well, I just said that after reading the OP's comment about the shot not being 100% safe and being shocked his girlfriend got pregnant. LOL!!! =D

Diana

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dwmte7 says on Jan 29, 2009, 04:18:

fatherhood aint so bad. i have eight.............from seven mothers.

d

patriarch

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Papi de Alejo says on Jan 29, 2009, 04:53:

Congrats Tomtom. Does this mean that you are finally settling down or what?

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

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dwmte7 says on Jan 29, 2009, 05:02:

tom...you're an ace. best 'daddy' story yet. congradulations to you and the lady and the flock.

d

patriarch

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dwmte7 says on Jan 29, 2009, 05:03:

really, tom, any man that would marry a lovely with six children is top drawer.

let's hear it for tom tom.....

HEAR HEAR...........

patriarch

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Lowell says on Jan 29, 2009, 06:19:

Wow, I have my hands full with one.

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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dwmte7 says on Jan 29, 2009, 09:31:

indeed my friend, and she, you. as well los ninos,you. be well and start buying gifts for christmas now!

as you're discovering, tending a flock is real loving work...24/7

i raised most of mine myself, the moms--who by the way are all close and like sisters--said, screw douglas, he loves kids, let him take care of them. i did. and although the issues neverceased, i wouldn't have traded the experience for anything in the world.

d

patriarch

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