Can latinos have open relationships like gringos do?

utopiacowboy says on Jan 10, 2005, 16:34:

This reminds me of the deal my wife and I have. It's either everything or everything!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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tzion says on Jan 10, 2005, 17:09:

Open relationships are crap. You either love that one person or you don't. If you do,
then it's that person and no-one else. If you don't, you shouldn't be "with" anyone
anyway. Love that's not 100% is not love.

--Michael

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zydeco says on Jan 10, 2005, 18:02:

definition of open relationship the definition is "divorce"

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Chevere33 says on Jan 10, 2005, 18:37:

Gringos and open relationships Hello, Mrs. Gomez.

I'm not sure if you were kidding or not, but am I correct in assuming from the title of your post that you think this is a common thing among American couples? If so, I heartily disagree. In fact, I think it's a rare occurence. Some folks might cheat on their spouses, but it's not generally consensual. In fact, where I come from, when an adulterer is found it, a divorce usually follows. I don't think many Gringas will wink their eye if they find their hubby sleeping with someone else, and the guys hardly ever stand for it!

My two cents, for what it's worth.

Constancia

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 10, 2005, 19:07:

what I have seen - grabbing cojones and pouting sessions I have never had an open relationship. It feels like giving strangers my life savings. Forget it! Get your own.

Anyway, knew a gringo couple that had an open thing, semi-long distance, for eight years. She was shocked and devastated when he broke it off with her for one of the ladies that he had been seeing, one who wanted a 1 on 1. DUH!

I suppose an open thing could work for some, but not for me.

And I am very clear about that. Recently, I realized that some men need a very clear very visual line of demarcation. You know, some guys believe that, "it's not cheating if ... she is also married, or if it is only oral, or if it is on a business trip, or if he pays her, or if he doesn't love her, or if it is not a relationship...what.ever!

So, here is the new improved rule:
One D***
One P***y

any questions?

And one still got into trouble!!!!!!!! yikes!!

I am dating a Latino now, and I love the fact that there is no discussion of any such rubbish as an open relationship.

Can I just say that I enjoy the way in which jealousy and territorial behavior is not only accepted and expected in a latin romance, but also enjoyed.

Case Study:

Me to white guy' "who WAS that blond anyway?
dumb gringo "chill, man, what is going on here, are you trying to control me?"

Me to latino lover "who was that stupid gringa anyway?"
Mi Amor "querida, calmate mujer, pues,,, (smiling)... me estas queriendo mucho ahora verdad?" loving every minute of it.

Once I jokingly mentioned sharing him with my best friend and his face fell and he told me obviously I really DON'T love him, and it took me a day and a half to make up...I was of course enjoying the entire pout and suck up session.......

In conclusion (yes Don, I HAVE one!), I would say that while neither culture embraces open relationships. gringos do tend to resist owning and demonstrating their territorialty, whereas latinos -- in my experience -- tend to shout it out and expect us to do the same, i.e. grabbing cojones.

Anyone??

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Lionheart says on Jan 10, 2005, 19:22:

semi-open relationships ok ... this sounds odd but let me explain, as it has been something I have encountered in the Northern Hemisphere a few times now.

It seems that bi-females are becoming more and more common, and once in a heterosexual relationship there seems to be two or more variants that can happen ... the bi-girl/wife wishes to bring in a girlfriend, or she wants to, or simply does it, have a girlfriend on the side. I was told it is not being unfaithful, she is not messing with another man.

To me that is total crap ... it is being unfaithful anyway.

I have seen ads from Latin America, where girls/women are seeking the same, but I have no such contacts there or info from them. Is is really becoming common there too?

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 10, 2005, 19:30:

O.K. Lion Yeah, an ex navy boy friend of mine shipped off to Japan. After I refused to marry his young a$$. Anyway, he of course was dying to marry the first thing he could find. So he walked into a bar and fell in love with a Canadian "hostess" and had to rescue her. He then proceeded to go off to sea for months at a time. In the same letter to me, he mentioned that she had a Russian "girlfriend" that kept her happy while he was away and that when he was (rarely) home that the three of them got on quite well.

I don't know if he was trying to make me jealous or trying to make me puke. what.ever. it just proved what I told him when I said NO to marriage - he just wanted to fill in the blank with WHO.EVER.

Two years later he was divorcing. BTW, so were plenty of our friends in more traditional, shall we say, marriages.

My Latina girlfriends are very homophobic. A gringa mentioned HER "girlfriend" in a conversation and you could have heard a pin drop. Out of Elmo's ......$$.

Anyway, that's what YOU made me remeber, Lionheart. Oops, I forgot to add you to WHO IS WHO. Be right back.........

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fmonroe82 says on Jan 10, 2005, 20:44:

I agree with Mitch1x I am North American--and not all of us have open relationships. Of course, there are typical "generalizations" and "stereo-types" because of the way we are portrayed in media (mainly). Yeah there are "swingers," but most people aren't O.K with sharing their man/woman. :)

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 10, 2005, 22:47:

latinos, open relations?? They already do! Open relationships??? Please it exists to a greater degree in Latino culture than it does anywhere else in the world. Good grief! Colombia has these open relations more than any place that I know of. It is so widespread in Colombia, it's almost instituitionally acceptable. I'm all Colombian, so I can safely say this. I see this all the time.

Besides, what is an open relationship anyway? It's adultry and nothing more. When you are married, you are just that, married and there is no excuse for any other form of relationship!!!

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umm says on Jan 11, 2005, 02:05:

I know, when freshly married then jealousy is the daily business.
A former woman friend of mine is now frightened to talk to any men on the phone because she is worried her husband might beat her up when caught.
later specially women have it very difficult while men do what they want.
Its everywhere like that. Not only in Colombia.

UMM

My Forum

lpdiver says on Jan 11, 2005, 02:45:

my wife Says I can have as many wives as I can afford. Got my hands full with the one I got. And they all want kids. Maybe if I win the powerball...jejeje

"cook some rice!"

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umm says on Jan 11, 2005, 02:47:

maybe you become a muslim.

UMM

My Forum

nanis says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:00:

ok you people need to chill!!! and i'm refering to the gringos who got a bit angry at my topic!,

first of all where did I say that all gringos have open relationships?

i was not implaying that at all! and no I don't get my ideas from watching american TV because i don't watch much american TV!! i live in London and europeans too have open relationships not all but some do and i have witnessed that myself! so to the person that said i was getting my ideas from american tv shows please give me a break!!! i'm an adult who have a mind of my own and do not need to watch TV shows to make assumptions because i do know that the media portray people in whole different light to what they really are but i also have experienced life well enough to know what type of people are out there!.
but colombians also have open relationships the only difference is that usually one of them doesn't even know! i'm talking cheating on your partner! in an open relationship both people are aware of what they are doing. my european friends like to date a lot of guys at the same time and these guys do the same that's what i mean about open relationships (no strings attached) they do not like to get seriuos so soon or feel as if the other person is controling them. ok in my case it was a bit funny because we were drunk when we made the deal which only lasted less than 1 day if i may add! the reason for this is that even tho i'm not the type that asks a lot of questions i too get jealous and i can be a real bitch when i get angry and my husband is the same this is in our latino blood i think, we colombians don't like sharing and that is why people tend to cheat but hey if my husband decides to cheat on me with me knowing or not then i'll kick hiss ass to the curve! after cutting his bolas with the kitchen knife!

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tzion says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:11:

Wow, Mrs. Gomez...I love your temperament. Do you have a sister? ;-)

Michael

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elmodefoque says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:13:

mrs. G. I’m all for open relationship. If someone wants to bang my wife and if they got an equaly or better looking wife, I’m willing to swap. Hey, we used to swap donkeys why not broads. My younger brother ended up marring my ex girls friend and I continued banging her after they got married and everybody knew. I was even best man at their wedding. They since divorced but not because me.
Mrs. G. lately i been thinking about you a lot. do you like to know what goes around my head when i think about you?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

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oldbongo says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:21:

listen to him boys... elmo has just given you all one of the worlds best lines...

good boy, soon she won't be able to resist the invitation.

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nanis says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:30:

Elmo!! you dirty old man! i know what goes around your head, might be because we both have the same way of thinking or do we?? what are you talking about anyway? could we both be thinking about the same thing? nahh i'm a good girl and good girls don't think dirty thoughts...

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oldbongo says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:32:

see what i mean... bingo!!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:41:

Mrs. G, what do you think of old degenerate, NYC raised, guajira born, barranquilla loving, native colombiano. I will be brutally honest, me encanta el perico, booze, group sex, me encanta bailar encuero en pura pelota, adoro el 69 por horas, me gusta poner mi pareja en cuatro, I enjoy making love on the top floor of a 5 star hotel over looking the sea in Cartagena, with wall to wall wide open windows, smack in the middle of the day until evening y tengo una bola mucho mas larga que la otra. You need to know all these in case I were to be so lucky as to enjoy your exquisite company someday.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

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oldbongo says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:48:

geez,elmoso.. now you got me exited ...

where are those palenqueras when i need them?

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nanis says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:50:

you guys!! you and your dirty little minds!

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 11, 2005, 10:55:

Elmo on Howard Stern last night Hey, did anybody catch Elmo on the Howard Stern show last night?

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elmodefoque says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:01:

OG, I still remember America. America was this tall very shapely Palenquera girl from my old neighborhood in Barranquilla. She was the first human to human contact or sex that many of my older friends had. I was way too young for her, but it did not stop from getting excited just to see her walk down the street. You ever see that album cover from Santana with that incredible black girl sitting with legs spread open? She was just like America.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:02:

reina, with the gay guys?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

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Lionheart says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:05:

Mrs. Gomez An open relationship is one where both know ... if one doesn't it is plain cheating.

I lived in Germany 30 years, many open relationships, currently the statistics say they don't even marry anymore and no more kids. They depend on immigrants for positive growth. (Tosses the statistics to Tinto to figure out.) So ... next step .. one big orgy?

In USA I see see more this pattern: cheat, divorce, marry that guy you cheated with ... cheat, divorce, marry that guy you cheated with ... repeat ... sometimes a kid is added as a casualty, multiple cheats are possible.

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:05:

just kidding Elmo I just wanted to steal you away from Mrs. G for five minutes. Now THAT was nice. Thanks! I have to leave the bathroom now and go back to work.

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oldbongo says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:05:

queenie!! we're all here now,finally
now mrs.gomez is leaning in the right direction,
all she needs is a little support from you, and
soon we will all be frolicking,with the cameras rolling,
and howard will REALLY have something to talk about.

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nanis says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:17:

hey reina you are also as dirty as me wanna come to my party? only girls this time tho! sorry elmo and oldgringo you're gonna have to stay at home this time! you see reina is my girl and i promised her the other day that we would hanging out soon, my husband already knows about it and has no problem with it and has no problem sharing me with another girl.. i can imagine the look on your faces guys! i know what goes around your heads while you're reading this..ummm.... what would it be?? elmo you know what it is don't you?

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:18:

girls gone wild hasn't seen nada not yet. but where are we going to finf a burro?

besitos to you old gringo PBJ! :)

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nanis says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:20:

Reina! well should ask elmo i'm sure he will lend us his burro

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elmodefoque says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:28:

ladies, i'm going to let you in a little secret. in barranquilla, they used to call me "trola de burro" if you know what i mean, ok not and adult burro, but a baby burro.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

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oldbongo says on Jan 11, 2005, 11:32:

ahh... don't stop!!!
you're learning.
the party's on the boat.
the boats en la frente la playa
la musica is fuerte,
everything is flowing.

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