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Bring me this, bring me that!

These freakin Colombians over there really think that we crap dolares. So far I got 5 modefoques ask for the most expensive digital cameras made, they’re suppose to pay me back, yeah right, kiss my black ass, I aint bringing them didly squat. A couple broads asked for perfumes, so I went thru a couple Vogue magazines and ripped all their perfume samples.
If you have family and friend there, the best thing to do is just show, un announced.

By elmodefoque on Feb 2, 2006, 10:41 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


miamimike says on Feb 2, 2006, 11:14:

Elmo, I am surprised at you That you don't have the always Green "Dollar Tree" on your Balcony of your NYC walkup so when they ask for stuff, U just give the tree a few healthy shakes and down come the Ben Franklins. Yep this is what many there think, we all have Dollar trees,like those little "Chia" Animals they sell at Navidade that grow green grass.jaja(maybe Ikea sells em-haha)I have a 6 footer dollar tree with one of those old fashioned exercise belt machines (women used to use to loose the belly Fat) stretched around the base of my Money tree so when they yell for money, I just hit the power switch and down come the Green Ben Franklins.Maybe this is what you could do also.jaja

On Sept 17, 2008: Senator John McCain said, as he had many times before, that he believed the fundamentals of the economy were "strong."Hours later he backpedaled, explaining that he had meant that American workers were Strong.

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elmodefoque says on Feb 2, 2006, 11:39:

Hey mike, I would have that famous “dollar tree” but how the hell am I gonna lug that modefoque up to my tiny 5th floor walk up apartment? The crack head (Bori) that we use for heavy work like that is in Rikers prison doing 13 months, I’ll have to wait until he comes out.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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miamimike says on Feb 2, 2006, 13:14:

Elmo try this.. Throw a rope down from your balcony and haul it up by hand! Or if you have access to your Roof, take the Tree up in the Cargo Elevator all the way to the roof and then using the Rope again, lower it down over the edge to your Balcony on the 5th floor. Lots of Ways. We do it here all the time when we buy a new sofa or fridge that is too big for the front door!~ jaja

On Sept 17, 2008: Senator John McCain said, as he had many times before, that he believed the fundamentals of the economy were "strong."Hours later he backpedaled, explaining that he had meant that American workers were Strong.

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strata2woman says on Feb 2, 2006, 13:24:

I feel your pain modefoque, I'm living next weekend to visit family in quilla and I'm up to my ears with all the stuff I'm asked to bring. Oh, by the way where is the group going to meet for Carnavales?
Corroncha and proud of it!

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.
Janis Joplin

- "con sombrero vueltiao y abarcas de tres puntá"

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elmodefoque says on Feb 2, 2006, 14:33:

hola corroncha, I’ll be in curramba next week too, but I don’t know from organizing any meeting, all I know is that I plan to start drinking early, my nephew told me about a place called “mundo de cerveza” they got happy hours from 5-8 pm and after that “tu kama’ among other places both in north and south barranquilla in Murillo. I’ll be mostly between el barrio las delicias and el santuario y la victoria.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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wOw says on Feb 2, 2006, 15:29:

I'll be in Delicias starting on the 16th..... Hey Modefoque, maybe I'll see you around there, I'll be staying at my grandfather house. He lives in Delicias, right down the street from la Olimpica de la carrera 42.

If I see a dark ass modefoque riding a burra, should I assume its you???? Or maybe your gonna be in "La Troja" where all the drunks are at?? hehe

wOw

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poco says on Feb 2, 2006, 17:13:

You can't look shabby at Neiman Marcus A couple broads asked for perfumes, so I went thru a couple Vogue magazines and ripped all their perfume samples.

Good idea,,, hadn't thought of that,, BETTER YET,, and this works best before a Holiday,, (Valentines day coming up !!!)..

I dust off my best slacks and dress shirt,, fake Rolex, along with a nice pair of shoes,,, properly shined,,, and head of Macys,, Neiman Marcus or SAKs,,, I can hit them all at the Galleria in Houston,,,

There will be women asking you to try a perfume,,, heck,, If they don't ask,, say you're looking for a present,,,, sniff a few,, say you can't make up your mind and ask for a sample,,,,

WoW,, a few years ago (must have been the shiney shoes) Neiman Marcus "loaded me up" with samples,,, Gave a little vial to every member of the family,, including the guys !!!!

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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Elbigie says on Feb 2, 2006, 18:10:

curious Elmo, just out of curiosity are you taking any presents for your burrita?

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rapi2000 says on Feb 2, 2006, 22:38:

Going to QUILLA also! I am going to Quilla also! Let's meet up and have fun there.
Elmo: just get nice stuff for your immediate family and tell the other moochers that you decided to go and 'carnavalear'in the last minute hehehe. No time to shop even in Flushing :-)
Rafa.
BTW for you all: Avianca validates the miles you fly with Delta. They give you a free ticket with only 15,000 miles. This ticket is for ANY Colombian destination or Quito, Guayaquil, Panama, Caracas (f... Chavez) and Aruba. You need to have AviancaPlus frequent flyer card.
¡¡EL CARNAVAL ES P'A GOZÁ!!

rapi2000@yahoo.com

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GringoinBucaramanga says on Feb 3, 2006, 06:14:

Mickeymouse knows Colombia better than u guys You never tell your family your coming.
Other wise it's bring me this or bring me that.
I have only made 5 trips here but was educated
on the first trip.

jj_jp@msn.com

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elmodefoque says on Feb 3, 2006, 06:56:

Have you guys ever travel to those real hell hole neighborhoods in curramba and you see middle-aged modefoques with silver hair, leathery real dark skin, with ashy elbows and hands, that’s exactly what I look like but I’ll be dress like a young gringo, cargo shorts, NYPD t-shirt or pull over fake polo shirts, white sneakers and reeking of Burberry Brit perfume. Please say hi, I’ll be hitting all the bars and happy hour places, I like to drink all day long. I’m very, very easy to spot, and for those from England, I look just like a Hindu, but with a tough New York City walk. I don’t speak English while I’m in Colombia but if I have to, I will.
Wow, man you’re down the street from my grandmother’s house, we walk half a block and we hit 20 de Julio, walking 2 blocks the other way and I hit el Vivero and Clinica Bautista.
I’m bringing gifts only to kids 10 and under, and my burrita will get something special, that’s it! Adults get to drink from the gallons of hard liquor and cases of cerveza aguila, that I’ll be buying.
Please keep in mind, I’ve been told by all Colombians that I look like a narco and un- approachable mean Guajiro, but really I’M NOT!!. I’ll be traveling with my big ass nephews, the colombian soldier and cab driver from my photo gallery, so please do say hi and let’s sit for few cold ones.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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oldbongo says on Feb 3, 2006, 09:12:

elmo...you hit it on the head...again.. after spending months shopping for all the best prices,
you get to colombia with your overweight bags of requests,
only to have the family and friends fight over everything in a jealous rage over who got what, and who didn't.
next year, we come with a nice car,.....
and give everyone a free ride around the barrio.

and elmo....word is,.. that you present your business card when you arrive at caribe, and ask the jefe for the corporate rate...
suerte mucho corroncho...

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elmodefoque says on Feb 3, 2006, 10:30:

Oldgringo, great tip!! believe or not I do have business cards, why? I don’t know. how the hell do you say "corporate rate" in Colombian?

I'll get there, when I get there!

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oldbongo says on Feb 3, 2006, 10:54:

you know how... on all fours....
looking up.

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Miguel says on Feb 8, 2006, 23:03:

I had to share this one! Elmodofoque was too busy getting ready for his trip to Colombia to post, so here is part of an email message he sent to me after deciding to take a small package to relatives in Barranquilla from relatives here in the States...the small package arrived at his office in NYC, and weighed in at 30lbs!

"yeah miquel, can you beleive those fucking shameless modefoques. I don't bring shit becuse i don't wanna bother but they expect me to bring their shit, i never met these illegal sonamanbiche in my life, i have no idea who the fuck their are only that they live in la mita del diablo in utah or ohio, one of those hillbilly places. i also know that those are my nephews wife relatives. I hate freaking people like that, they think they could get over. they gonna come out losing big time, first they payed almost 50 bucks to sent all the cheap crap to nyc, now they gotta pay avianca express 7 dollars or more per pound for me to send that shit to barranquilla. all that shit in that box is crappy cheap shit, not even from walmart probably from salvation arny jijjijiji. You know what, i got room for that shit, but i don't like what they did, he told it was a very small package. If i do it this time, they'll nail me even worst next time. see ya in curramba."

¡Puro Elmodofoque!

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utopiacowboy says on Feb 10, 2006, 18:33:

He's right. As soon as one Colombian finds out another is going to Colombia, you get tagged with hauling all this crap down there for them. Works the same way in reverse as well. I've had to deliver stuff to Colombians here in San Antonio that I had no idea who they were. No gratitude either. You may as well be FedEx or UPS to them. Now I tell my wife that if they are not immediate family, let them send their own crap.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Miguel says on Feb 10, 2006, 19:41:

Tienes razon UC After I told my Dominicana Spanish tutor about my upcoming trip to Locolombia, I got email, phone calls, and even a knock on my door from the 4 Barranquilleros that live here, all requesting that I become the gringo version of Servientrega. Two years ago I would have had a problem saying no, but now I don't. (Except for the currambera that is so smoking hot that she asked me to take three pair of shoes for her mom, brother and sister, along with Perry Ellis talcum powder for her brother.

I was blinded by her siliconas and now am packing 2 maletas. (And a rocket in my pocket;-))

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utopiacowboy says on Feb 11, 2006, 16:48:

Of course, you're right, Miquel, sometimes you have to make an exception. Let's hope she really is an exception and shows you some gratitude, hehehe.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Miguel says on Feb 11, 2006, 17:15:

En mis sueños... She's married to a rich, balding gringo that is scared shitless of Barranquilla, refuses to learn Spanish, blah blah blah; but she appears to be very dedicated to him. Those siliconas, along with her request that I take shoes to her nine year old sister changed my mind.

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utopiacowboy says on Feb 11, 2006, 22:05:

No hay justicia :-(

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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