Breathing Room

I've been living in Bogota's south for almost two months, and I think I've started to go a little mad. I live with my partner's family and they won't let me do anything alone. Everyone has been really nice, and I don't want to offend anyone, but I need some space. They have gone into my drawers to refold my underwear, constantly stand over me at the table to make sure I eat everything, and ask about the frequency of my menstral cycle. I don't want to seem ungrateful, I'm just used to living with a lot more freedom. I'm planning to stay another six months, and want to know how to go about getting a little more breathing room?

Or maybe I'm just homesick with Australia Day coming up...

By Cangura on Jan 21, 2008, 16:24 in Friendly Talkzone.

expatriate says on Jan 21, 2008, 16:58:

Get a new lockable doorknob with a key for your bedroom door and use it. Tell them you just need some respect.

On the suspicious side, they may have gone into your underwear drawer to look for something, like cash, and using re-folding as an excuse.

Except for the menstrual part, it sounds like my fraternity house at San Jose State in the 70's. One St. Patrick's Day, some of the girls that hung around the house stole some of our underwear out of our rooms, and then returned it later, dyed green. I guess that was their way of showing that they liked us.

Like the advice below, I agree. Roadtrip!

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ujay says on Jan 21, 2008, 18:08:

just tell them stay the fuck out your room,
refold my underwear
thats bollocks the maid would not do that let alone the family,they were looking for some thing,tell your partner sort the shit out.
as for your menstral cycle,how old are you,
its time to grow up ,just tell them mind their own bussiness.

www.unionjackedfilms.com

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manINred says on Jan 21, 2008, 18:45:

nope

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jack_jason says on Jan 22, 2008, 01:01:

Just buy the news paper and rent a flat for you and your boyfriend. IQ=5?

"constantly stand over me at the table to make sure I eat everything"

If they have a little of education, they will stay with you in the table until you finish eating or until the last lady on the table has finished eating. it does not mean that they are making sure you eat everithing. If you do not want to eat any more, just say it.

This is just spanglish, please do not correct me

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miamimike says on Jan 22, 2008, 03:11:

This is why I never stay with a family. Absolutely NO privavcy and people constantly hovering over me, watching my every move, where I went, when I would come and go. I Opt for a Hotel, Hostel ect. I stayed once with a family and it was the worst Travel experience of my life. Never again, No Way Jose!

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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aztec says on Jan 22, 2008, 04:30:

So Fah, Dahling you are not in Kansas anymore.

Living with Latinos, you deal with the "macho factor" everyday. You will find the male-dominated structure of the family frustrating. The "macho factor" is difficult to accept because you've always been told you could do anything and have always been independent.

I preface my next remarks by saying GENERALLY, in South Bogotá you find families with less education and sophistication. They are not bad people, on the contrary, but their disadvantages provide no emotional resonance or empathy with another culture.

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Strobers says on Jan 22, 2008, 11:07:

Remember that you are never responsible for what others do, but you are always responsible for how you react.

Taking that into consideration, it would behoove you to set some firm limits with the family. They can't read your mind and if you just get angry or resentful you will just cause more discontent. The earlier you set the tone, the easier the process will be. The longer you wait, the more resentful you will become and the more the family will assume that their behavior can be continued.

"Life is too serious to be taken seriously"

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Mr. Hollywood says on Jan 22, 2008, 11:22:

I think the menstrual cycle chat is cute. They're hoping you'll get preggo.

I'd get the hell out of that house.

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slguy says on Jan 22, 2008, 12:46:

Maybe Clyde could provide some tips....

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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Bunyipcatcher says on Jan 22, 2008, 13:10:

Ahhh Aussie Day! Not long now Cangura! Yup youre probably going a bit batty. I go that way too. Especially when I think of having a barbi with friends and doing some climbing at Kangaroo Point cliffs. What makes it worse is having to look at the mountains everyday and know that I cannot go out and try walking to the top of them. Its one thing we take for granted in Australia. The ability to walk freely without being accosted almost in any part without too much problem.

As for your problems. You need privacy yes. You dont go through their things do you? I think the first point would be to talk to your partner about it and maybe have him as the go between. As some of the other posters have pointed out it seems a bit suspect. Alway remember when youre here "TRUST NOBODY!"

Might also help to get some Spanish lessons whilst here.

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 22, 2008, 18:32:

Mr. Hollywood, I could be wrong, but I get the impression she is not going to get pregnant.
.... "partner"

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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