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I had a knot in my stomach all day today when I found out my little "Tatiana" is having sex at just 15 years of age. Her mother works for peanuts in Bogota and Tatiana is left at home with her 13 year old sister and baby brother most days & nights in Madrid. Father is long gone-sounds all too familiar, doesn't it? They return to school next week and I hope, while I'm writing this, her mom is at Western Union picking up funds that will put the girls to school for another year and to buy Tatiana birth control pills or injections. I have yet to call Tatiana to advise her not to tell her boyfriend that she will be on birth control because he will stop using condoms (I doubt they were using it to begin with. How could they afford it?) Anyway, what is the status with sex education in the schools? Is it being taught? How much are condoms and birth control contraceptives? I feel helpless being here in Canada but I know that by providing for this one girl, she will hold herself accountable for choosing to have sex at a young age and, most importantly, she'll have less chances of getting pregnant and contracting STDs.
By analyzethis1 on Jan 31, 2008, 19:42 in Friendly Talkzone.
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 19:48: Are you Tatiana's, mother's novio? What's your relationship to this family? Not trying to pry, but I am just curious why you are involved. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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manINred says on Jan 31, 2008, 19:54: analyzethis1.
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analyzethis1 says on Jan 31, 2008, 19:58: I met Tatiana and her mother while vacationing there last May. I've stayed in contact with the girls since. The mother is a very hard worker trying to make ends meet. She, herself, got pregnant at 16 so she knows what's going on. Condoms are $2,000mil pesos- so that's what...can you buy meat with that? I'm just being practical and realistic. What about sex ed? There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 20:08: 2000 pesos will buy enough meat in a lower estrato barrio tienda for a meal. Even in a place like Vivero or Exito, I got decent but modest cuts of beef for 2 or 3 mil. Cooked with rice and an avacado and beans, it makes a decent meal for a few people. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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RUV says on Jan 31, 2008, 20:16: Pregnant at an early age. That sucks. Hate to say it, but it is more common in Latin America countries.
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 20:23: I would be interested in seeing the national average for the age of women in Colombia at the time of their first pregnancy. My guess is 18. But 14 is not only not rare, but rather common - very sad. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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bufalo says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:01: I'd say, unscientifically of course, it would be less than 18 y.o. My experience of many years down here: "If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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MaFe says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:02: It's very sad...They have sex, don't think of aids, STD's, and no matter how much you try...kids will do what they want. Is she is Madrid Espana? There are clinics there that will provide them with condoms.... "All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:06: I remember when I was in my teens, my mom would always say to me in her mix filipino-spanglish that if I'm having sex, she'll kill me. If I get pregnant, she'll kill me twice over...then deport me to the Philippines! Let's just say that during my "near-sex" experiences, I'd be trying to get her off my mind only to leave the poor guy(s) hanging-no pun intended...heehee. There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:12: Hola mi amor.... ..... leavin louisiana in the broad day light 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:18: bufalo, I can tell you are a very loving and attentive parent because you believe in all the things you've listed, as a result, your daughter will be well protected. That's why Tatiana and teens alike are getting into trouble...there's no guidance protecting them. I'm thousands of miles away from Tatiana but from my experience, I believe that whatever moral support and attention I can provide for her will be more than she'll probably ever get from now until she's finished school and finds work. There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:26: goin-south...haha...I'm still here. I see you're one of the most active members since my last post. My friend is here in town that's why I haven't been around. She's brought Colombia with her so I have all I need to know. (Not 100% true, of course, cuz what PBH offers, she can't. That's why I haven't "left"!) There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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bufalo says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:27: For me, it's one thing if two kids are going about exploring the birds and the bees all innocent and everything. The sad thing is that here it's literally almost always about a conquest and/or abuse (and the dopey parents, who went through it when they were young, don't open up their eyes to it). "If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:33: bufalo - good post. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Jan 31, 2008, 21:56: It is sad that most of Colombian's societies would rather abuse its children than protect them and, yes, this sick mentality exist everywhere. bufalo, I remember quite well that you've been planning to go abroad and you have asserted yourself based on many different reasons and sound principles. By the same token, it's assuring to know that you will have "positive" memories about CO to share with your girl! There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 22:02: 21 and 16, I don't personally think that is "bad." The younger chicks of 13 or 14 years old, being targeted by guys in their 30s, 40, 50, etc, is what gives me the creeps. Especially when the guys are teachers, supervisors, family members, etc - people of authority. It gets pretty sick. And, it isn't just a Colombian phenomenon. It happens everywhere. But for some reason it is accepted or tolerated in Colombia. A 21 year old kid dating a 16 year old doesn't seem wierd or deviant to me. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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goin_south says on Jan 31, 2008, 22:08: but, just to spell out the difference in 'culture',... to the 16-year-olds in the usa, it seems weird, mostly. ..... leavin louisiana in the broad day light 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Jan 31, 2008, 22:10: In all but my humble 37 yrs. of life experiences, a 21 with a 16 should not be permissable. Two different life phases going on here. The 21 yr old should be either in school or working to be able to afford an independent lifestyle. A 16 yr old is barely trying to finish highschool hoping its grades are sufficient enough to move on to post-sec or to land a job afterwards. What could these 2 possibly have in common other than having rampant hormones? There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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manINred says on Jan 31, 2008, 22:12: see analyzethis that was the exact thing that came to my mind. Completely different levels of maturity, and life-stages.
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 22:43: Well, I guess I am a deviant. For me, 4 or 5 years is not a big deal at all. Even when it is 21 and 16. When I was 21 years old, I sure wasn't much different than a 16 year old maturity-wise. I just happened to live outside of my parent's house. I didn't really "mature" until I was about age 26 or 27. So, I can see why people think it is weirder for a 21 year old to date a 16 year old than a 27 year old dating an 18 year old. (5 years vs. 9 yrs. difference) Total sarcasm intended. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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manINred says on Jan 31, 2008, 23:16: Lol! Ironic, isn't it. Believe it or not, the latter relationship made a helluva lot more sense, maturity difference was a lotttttttttttttttt smaller. But then again, I'm biased
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manINred says on Jan 31, 2008, 23:22: but everything depends on the people involved, completely depends on circumstances. Sorta like economic theory... which makes lots of my current studying depressingly useless.
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 23:27: Long story short - I wouldn't sweat dating a 16 year old girl if you are 21. That is a 4 to 5 year difference in age. Big freaking deal. They better throw me in the slammer. I married a lady 14 years younger than me. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Robert Jorge says on Jan 31, 2008, 23:57: Good post MIR. I was just trying to articulate that 4 or 5 years age difference isn't abnormal. But, you have a good point. And yes, my wife is in her 20s. I am still in my 30s. --"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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tomtom33 says on Feb 1, 2008, 01:50: When I was 21, I never would have even considered dating a 16-year-old. In fact, I was dating a 22-year-old at the time. Guess I haven't changed much. At 59, I still date 22-year-olds.
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miamimike says on Feb 1, 2008, 04:34: "her mom is at Western Union picking up funds " "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Albatross says on Feb 1, 2008, 04:44: All those Latin American teenagers having sex and stuff... it makes me soooo mad !!! “Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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houstongal says on Feb 1, 2008, 05:01: LOL Albatross! Teenagers having sex....God forbid! Culture is language and language is culture - Dr. Annamaria Napolitano 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Grongo says on Feb 1, 2008, 05:06: Let them have fun! You can die any day and you only live once.
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Grongo says on Feb 1, 2008, 05:53: I know a guy that let his daughter go out on her first date. After she got in the the car and drove away with the guy, he saw a bumper sticker on the back of the car. It read "Thank virgins for nothin".
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 1, 2008, 07:58: Even though I can still laugh at all the jokes here, I still have to leave this forum, pick up the phone and find out how my Tatiana is doing. Miamimike, I am sending the family funds and it's only sufficient enough to get the girls thru another year of schooling and to pay for contraceptives. There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Grongo says on Feb 1, 2008, 08:04: Condoms are outlawed in the Philippines because of the Catholics. Maybe you should start there.
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 1, 2008, 08:04: Rubito, I agree wholeheartedly. That's why I'm the auntie that my nieces and nephews come to me for sex ed because I've been teaching them since they were 9 yrs of age. In fact, my first-born niece lost her virginity at 15. Did I stress? A little. Am I stressed about Tatiana who is not even related to me? 10X! There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 1, 2008, 08:13: Grongo, I'm pleased to know that all of my hundreds of young relatives are well supplied and protected. They don't listen to everything that's preached despite being all Catholics. I didn't and still don't. In fact, I'm probably an abomination to all very religious people out there. (Ooh that's harsh.) There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 1, 2008, 08:22: GIB...(& goin-south)...smart ass comments like that keep me posted around here. Better yet, I'll get the boy his so at least Tatiana will be getting the real thing! There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Mr. Hollywood says on Feb 1, 2008, 08:31: I've known a number of young women who had kids when they were 15, 16, etc. While they're often chalked up as "accidental" pregnancies, many of them weren't exactly unwanted or unintended. Girls in a dead-end life with nothing else going on often seem to look for the "fulfillment" of motherhood. It's a pretty vicious cycle and is far from just a Colombian phenom. I have a friend in the states whose 18 year old daughter just had her 3rd baby. Maybe the first was an "accident" but it's hard to believe the 2nd and 3rd were.
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msaucey says on Feb 1, 2008, 09:09: analyzethis1... Sex Education can only do soooo much... I mean it's widely available here in the U.S. at a lot of levels, elementary, middle and high school.... along with TV commercials, and so forth.... Condoms are distributed freely in a lot of places.... But, for the most part, it is still being ignored by a lot of teenagers... and there are still a lot of teenage pregnancies.... The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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eywed says on Feb 1, 2008, 09:16: Parents are to blame, Period. And parents that think ohhh my daughter is not havig sex are the worst. Teens are going to have sex. Prepare them. Dont say no cause think back to when you all were teens , Your parents saying no did not have any effect . I think teens who are taught how to protect themselves are much better off than kids who are just told dont have sex. Ay Hombe!!!!! 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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Lowell says on Feb 1, 2008, 09:39: My daughter is only 2 and my wife and her family think that its cute that they have trained her to blink her eyes and mimick kisses. Here training starts at a very early age. I know that I have my work cut out for me with my daughter. My step neice is already concerned about looking sexy at the age of 5. This is a very tough place for a female to live. Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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MaFe says on Feb 1, 2008, 12:00: I don't think it's fine for a 16 year old to dat a 21 year old...there are many differences in ages, and it's only a 5 year old difference but a 16 year old isn't in the same mantlity as a 21 year old...I have a huge problem when I see old men dating young girls. "All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 1, 2008, 14:33: "Get the girl the implant today is all I can say."-GIB There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 1, 2008, 14:37: *Smile...I know what you mean msaucey. Imagine promoting female condoms to Colombian girls? May as well, I'd say, because the boys sure as hell won't be holding themselves accountable! There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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bufalo says on Feb 2, 2008, 06:32: I see it like Lowell "sexual training" here tends to start early. People always seem to have little kids give each other kisses (why?), moms´ dress the daughters in the same "boleta" style as mom, even minitecas - at a very early age two kids are already accustomed to being rubbed up against each other, swaying around to a beat in a real dark place, then change partners and do it again - no wonder what happens when they're 13.... "If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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lpdiver says on Feb 4, 2008, 04:21: Two points, "cook some rice!" 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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analyzethis1 says on Feb 7, 2008, 08:45: lp, I didn't think that protecting kids in whatever country is considered a foreign standard. And don't tell me that it's standard in Colombia to have sex at a young age. It may be common but it is not a standard by any means! And let's focus on the issue (kids having sex with no protection) and not add fuel to the fire by insinuating that I'm imposing my gringo beliefs on Colombians! There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give. E.A. Robinson 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
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ColombianoGringo says on Feb 7, 2008, 11:10: I have always used condoms in Colombia. The women I've been with have always asked "te pones preservativo?" or "Te proteges?".
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ColombianoGringo says on Feb 7, 2008, 11:18: While I'm sure there are plenty of teens having sex younger than 15 in Colombia, I agree that this is not the standard. As in the US, it comes down to parenting and peer pressure.
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morphus says on Feb 7, 2008, 11:24: Sexy clothes are just as common in the U.S. as in Colombia. Everywhere I go I see girls with "PINK" written accross their butts. I saw one girl with "GET LUCKY" on the back of her shorts. They want it!
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ColombianoGringo says on Feb 7, 2008, 11:36: You'll never catch my kids in that garbage. I am very straight with them about appearances.
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El Polo says on Feb 7, 2008, 11:40: I think it does fall on parenting, I personally dont have any kids, but have younger nieces, and they are way too occupied with school and extracirricular activities to even think about boys right now, I know these type of thing happen and sometimes can not be avoided but if you teach them well, then you have given them the right tools for the job. The younger girls walking around with "juicy" shirts and stuff like that, are a direct reflection of what they're parents have taught them, or have let them get away with. My sister would KILL them both if they even attempted to wear something like that and they know that, they dont dress or talk like ghetto girls, in fact they poke fun at my younger cousins since, well, they are both in H.S and want to impress the girls, but boys will be boys right?
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