Australian Girl + Colombian Guy =??

ColombiaBoard says on Nov 14, 2006, 03:44:

It all depends Where does he live? small town? mid-size city? large city?, also, what type of neighborhood? do you have skills to work in Colombia in some area? what does he do in Colombia for a living? there are no simple answers.

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podborski says on Nov 14, 2006, 04:31:

true, depends a lot on where he lives, but I suspect it isn't in the middle of FARC territory.

Also depends if you are super rich or the daughter of Rupert Murdoch and go around blabbing about it. Also doubt that.

So without knowing a lot more, I'd say absolutely you should go. It is an amazing country, and you will have some incredible experiences. It really can be life changing.

The dangers are exaggerated (not that you shouldn't be careful) and anyway colombians are far more paranoid/careful than the average tourist. You bf and his family will watch over you like hawks.

After a few days you'll realize they are over doing it and you'll laugh a bit at their concern but appreciate the sentiment.

You'll be giving up the chance of a lifetime if you don't go.

Just be very, very careful crossing the street with your daughter, that's the only serious danger, I'm not joking.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 14, 2006, 05:30:

I think you will like to talk to sidneygirl, she is an Australian married to a Colombian and they are living in Colombia. hope she read your post.

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Nov 14, 2006, 06:00:

mira kat, otra vez soñe que te preñe, pero el hp pelao salio bien maluco, igualito a ese fukin prince charles. that modefoque had ears like fukin dombo and a fukin nose like pinoccio and his eyes too close to his fukin nose. that freaked me out cus you don't look like that and i sure don't looke like that. what do you think happend?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 14, 2006, 06:08:

Why do the weirdos always sit next to me? :(

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Nov 14, 2006, 06:14:

cus, you're cute!!
cus, you're cute!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 14, 2006, 06:31:

hell Elmo that is the nicest because i am cute?? hell Elmo! that is the nicest thing you have said to me in 2 years 19 weeks you've been in this site..:)

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Nov 14, 2006, 07:04:

nojoda kat como puedes decir esa vaina, tengo AÑOS enamorao de ti y te lo DIJE un chorro de veces. tu me gustas, me gustas como muje, como colombiana, como costeña y como peliona, en total, me encata to el paquete.
In my mind I made love to you hundreds of time. I did this while sitting on my toilet at work and home.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Nov 14, 2006, 07:20:

Dude, this is New York fukin city, we’ve got the latest most high-tech equipment and that includes fukin toilets. I got a tiny fukin room behind the fukin heater in the fuking basement. My building has 47 fukin floors and my company has 6 of them. All my toilets, urinals and sinks are connected to my fukin computer. In case of a fukin problem, a light and siren goes off, I’m there in less than 2 fukin minutes.
I’m UNION so I get pretty good fukin money and lots of fukin vacation.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Swinn88 says on Nov 14, 2006, 07:31:

Wow! you are funny elmo. Keep it up you have the best posts.

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panthdave says on Nov 14, 2006, 07:54:

Hey Elmo when you get to the Toilet Are they still on the Toilet Your there in two minutes so I imagine there still pulling up there boxers or panties....or did you ever have false alarms..

Reality at its max..Great postings elmo...

panthdave Miami

panthdave Miami

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podborski says on Nov 14, 2006, 07:59:

DG you give lots of good advice to people on how to be safe and not do dumb things while in Colombia, but to say that Colombia is too dangerous to visit for a 21 yr old travelling with her Colombian bf is waaaaay out there.

Please give me a scenario of what might happen to this girl while staying with this guy´s family in, say, Bogota or Medellin...

at kat: Why do the weirdos always sit next to me? :( Very funny!

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elmodefoque says on Nov 14, 2006, 08:06:

For the women’s room I’m there in 2 fokin minutes, so I get to see “accidentally� a lotta fokin bush. For the fokin men’s room, I take my sweet fokin time; I get there in 45 fokin minutes.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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podborski says on Nov 14, 2006, 08:12:

I missed the 'to live' part that changes things a bit. I thought you were just going for a christmas vacation.

I'd suggest doing that, go for a vacation and see how you like it. But to pull up stakes and move without testing the waters first is not dangerous but maybe not the smartest way to go about it.

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scotty says on Nov 14, 2006, 14:51:

you're right Before anyone could really give this woman some sound advice we would need alot more information from her.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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podborski says on Nov 14, 2006, 15:02:

agree with you DG I thought she was planning on coming for a visit only, and even then Colombia isn't the BEST place to take a 4 year old.

To move to Colombia with a 4 year old is a whole different story...too many possible complications, as you pointed out.

(But I don't think you can assume the bf will turn nasty, although I'm sure you've seen it, but that could happen anywhere with anybody. I understand what you are saying though.)

No matter, I would not recommend moving there with a young child.

The problem with Colombia is that although the chance of something bad happening is not very high, it can happen and if it does it is deadly serious.

But by all means, go for a visit (leave the child home for 2 to 3 weeks) and see how that goes before leaping in with all 4 feet.

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stayorgo says on Nov 14, 2006, 23:40:

Going with a return ticket i think! I definately am not rich, but am comfortable enough to support myself for a couple of months in Colombia. My bf thought i was South American when we first met and i think as long as a dont open my mouth i dont think i will stand out as looking that different from everyone else!
I must clarify..I dont intend on selling my house and moving all my worldly posessions by container ship. I will most likely be going for about three months to start with. I am 28 and my daughter is 4 so she won't be going to school for a little while yet. I had thought it might be better to go now whilst she is too young for school?
I have had enough experience to realise that men in general..not just Colombian men..Can change their behavior in a heartbeat. And wouldn't hesitate to pack up and leave if anything changed but i don't see this as a problem really. My bf and his family live in Pereira and are-from what i can gather-quite well off. Does this make any difference to the level of danger? Obviously as a mother my first priority is my daughters safety and if i were to go what exactly would i need to do to decrease my chances of anything going wrong? I'm sure my boyfriend will let me know what the ground rules are safety wise but i would appreciate an outsiders words of advice. Thanks for your comments..all thought provoking.

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litost says on Nov 15, 2006, 03:17:

There are some very good private schools in Pereira, including an all english "Liceo Ingles" and all french "Liceo Frances" (though expensive). Pereira is, generally speaking, a safe city and on the upside the last few years with lots of infrastructure improvements and a dynamic commercial sector. Some people who have never been to Pereira or just passed by talk lots of crap about the city, but I think it can be a very pleasant place to live with all the modern comforts you could want (internet, cinema, malls, restaurants, bars, clubs, museums, zoo, etc.) plus the colombian hospitality and beautiful countryside. There are a few neighborhoods to avoid and some general precautions to take, but your boyfriend's family should make sure you know about all that. As for your child, a new culture and language should be a very rich experience (some say traumatic, fatalists exist everywhere).

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podborski says on Nov 15, 2006, 03:56:

it's a tough call stayorgo If you had said Bogota I would feel a lot more comfortable saying go for it. But I don't know Pereira at all myself, other than a Canadian (female, 20's) friend of my family has been teaching english there for years and never had a problem.

Even if you look Colombian people will know you are not. Neighbours will talk etc.

His family probably is quite well off, it's very, very hard for the average Colombian to get a visa for another country.

It's sad to say, you and your daughter would probably be perfectly fine, but you just never know, and I doubt I would do it myself if I had a 4 year old.

As DG said, being a gringa increases your chances of being targeted.

Sorry, guess I am not much help. I'll leave it to people who know more about it.

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juanalejo says on Nov 15, 2006, 07:01:

stayorgo You have probably realized by now most regulars on this site don´t even get their "story" staight, some times they appear saying there is not one tourist to be seen, on another they say most tourists have horror stories to tell. On one they say only rich Colombians can travel on the other Colombians abroad say they are rich but they are really stinking poor. On one they say foreigners run a terrible risk in this horrible country but then again they come here and live here and can not get off this Colombia subject. So yes it would be better if you come and make up your own opinion, then you will probably have one of four options 1)go back and forget about Colombia, 2) stay here and enjoy life like most foreigners that live here and forget about this site 3) stay here against your will, become miserable and glue yourself to internet to bitch all day about Colombia or 4) go back and become miserable and bitch there all about Colombia.

So as a foreigner you can see 3 options include Colombia, 2 include being happy, 2 don´t include this site. So conclusion there is something about Colombia that in this site is only seen in the name PBH but the real answer to your question will definitely not be found in this site.

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juanalejo says on Nov 15, 2006, 12:42:

Al que le caiga el guante......... ...........que se lo chante.

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adrimm says on Nov 15, 2006, 17:35:

Desi is a Finn who married a Colombian and had her kids in Colombia.. I believe that they lived there for about 10 years. She might have some valuable perpectives (a) being a mother, and (b) being a foreigner, (c) living in Colombia with a Colombian partner..

I'd hold whatever she has to say on the topic in high regard - Hopefully she will see the thread and comment on it.

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juanalejo says on Nov 15, 2006, 19:07:

On Desi Adrimm, I second your thoughts on Desi, she is for me the as a Colombian probably the only one that has a good grasp on Colombia, Colombians and Colombian life.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Nov 16, 2006, 07:32:

Did you call? Thanks for the vote of confidence, adrimm and juanalejo:)
I had abstained from commenting on this one even though I'm one of the few people here who is foreigner, female, mother and has raised children of that age in Colombia due to the fact it was so long ago. People were being kidnapped for ransom even then, children also, but most often by common criminals and yes, we were a little extra careful with our two blond, blue-eyed preschoolers just in case some deranged kidnappers would mix them up with the offspring of some gringos working for multinationals or diplomats since we were just a young, struggling family trying to make the ends meet and no money to spare for ransom. Being the way they were, however, we were totally convinced that any idiot that'd kidnap them would soon beg us to take them back, maybe even offer to pay us if we agreed.

For us it was business as usual; we had a bilingual nursery school and kidergarten plus 1-3 elementary grades and after having the kids with us to the age of 4 we decided to have them attend nursery school somewhere else for 4 hours Monday-Friday. (They were getting a little arrogant around our teachers who didn't feel comfortable setting boundaries for the kids of the owners.) We drove them to The Little Prince and picked them up from there ourselves, just because it was convenient. We could've let them to pick ours up in their minivan too, there was no thought about safety. There are other blond children in Cali schools, just the idea that they would be especially targeted for kidnapping because of their coloring borders with paranoia.

No, children don't need chauffeurs and bodyguards to attend school in Colombia, not even if their parents are wealthy. Unless you are an American diplomat, high executive of a multinational or in bed with the maffia. When was the last time a child of a foreign national was kidnapped in Colombia? Has there been any?

Living in a comfortable high-end neighbourhood in Pereira will not be especially dangerous for a young Aussie mum and her little daughter. Depending on how long she was planning to stay, I'd have the child attend a pre-school center, a small one and preferably independent and bilingual. I don't know Pereira but I don't doubt that there wouldn't be a whole bunch of bilingual nursery schools there; the trick is to find one that is truly bilingual not just a little Spanglish mixed with paisa.

The boyfriend and his family will look after her and her daughter and keep them out of harm's way until she learns herself which neighbourhoods are dodgy, never to give "papaya" and keep the doors locked. It's an adventure for the 4-year-old to live in foreign country, learn a new language, a whole new world. Most kids of that age are extremely resilient and adapt very fast to new environments.

Things to keep on eye on: to be very careful with the hygiene and food with the daughter: it takes some time before the child will acquire some resistence to local bacteria and viruses. Check the immunizations, wash hands often, use a desinfectant for hands. Drink only bottled water during the first weeks at least. Wear shoes even inside the house (flipflops).

I'm sure I've overlooked something essential but just ask, if there's anything special you were thinking.

I'd go for it; give yourself and your child this unique opportunity to get to know Colombia, enjoy it, have a good time, learn a lot. Of course, you'd have to keep in mind the rather special circumstances in Colombia (stay away from the jungles and the mountains of Colombia....)but I assure you that hundreds of thousands of familias in Colombia raising up children don't live in fear but raise up their kids and send them to school every day just like in the rest of the world. Reading forums like that populated with a rather special clintele can give you a rather distorted picture of the Colombian reality.

Cheers,
Desi









«Sé que los seres humanos y los peces podrán coexistir en paz». ( George W. Bush, Saginaw 29-09-00)

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

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utopiacowboy says on Nov 16, 2006, 10:08:

"Reading forums like that populated with a rather special clintele can give you a rather distorted picture of the Colombian reality." Now, that's an understatment.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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stayorgo says on Nov 17, 2006, 05:57:

With Thanks Thankyou!.. I still havent decided if im going or not but its really great to have all these impartial opinions to consider before i make my decision.
I love my bf and i know he would never ask me to come if he thought we would be in danger. But the colombian idea of danger and the Australian one differs immensely. I leave my door unlocked at night. I walk the streets alone without a thought towards my safety. If i go to Colombia i will need to change this but if i stay i miss an opportunity of a lifetime...with the man i love...Romantic and idealistic yes..but only a 24 hour flight from home. I feel better about making my decision from here and will let you know in a couple of weeks what i decide.Wish me luck!!AND HOPEFULLY ALL THE SEXY COLOMBIAN WOMEN I HAVE HEARD ABOUT ON THIS SITE WONT TEMPT HIM AWAY!! :P

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law254 says on Nov 17, 2006, 19:43:

don't do it first off I'd like to say that I plan to live in colombia for a short time with my fiancee. I have an online job that allows me to make an american wage anywhere I can get internet. I also enjoy being there, but now it's time to wake up to reality for you. don't do it. you move to colombia, boyfriend takes over your life and controls the money then finds a hot latina, dumbs you or you dump him, now where are you? job? well if you don't have a job how will you be independent? The laws favor the men. Teaching english doesn't really make you that much money and there's a good chance you won't get that kind of job. Sorry but this is a very very very bad idea, there's a reason why women dont tend to marry in the other direction (ie wealthy nation to poor nation) and if you do you are a serious sucker. Don't do it unless you want to really screw yourself over. If he's rich as hell, you still get screwed over if you have to leave him but now you really get screwed. Also you might not enjoy getting your ass pinched as you walk down the street alone and your breasts grabed or even crotch, which happens to my fiancee weekly. Little things like that will drive you crazy, you will be afraid to leave your house without your boyfriend/husband. Just a plain stupid idea; my fiancee thinks you're nuts.

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utopiacowboy says on Nov 17, 2006, 19:47:

My wife used to get her share of piropos but no one dared to actually touch her. She used to supervise a crew of 90, almost all of them men and did not take any mierda from any of them.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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law254 says on Nov 17, 2006, 20:29:

also I don't mean to trash colombia, but you need the other side of the story, the negative side. I'm a big guy, 6'2" (1.9 meters), and I'm half mexican and I feel vulnerable as hell when I'm out on the streets there and it's just not comfortable like in the USA, europe or australia. Remember a life changing event only has to occur once. Someone from colombia will say it's great and why are you worrying but they are colombian and will never know what it's like to have all the attention that being a foreigner brings about there. The fact is colombia is somewhat safe for a colombian but not so safe for a foreigner. Are you really going to bring your daughter to live in the world's land mine capital? Do a search online, "colombia landmines". In the end it's your choice and going to colombia can be an awesome thing to see how other cultures work, it's also very mysterious to us, but prepare for the worst, have your parents hold a few thousand dollars for you in case things go bad, so they can send it to you if your bf turns out to be different than you expected.

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juanalejo says on Nov 18, 2006, 04:14:

law254 Land mine capital, so you are saying the cities are full of landmines? Did you know that 90% of land mine victims are military personel and 10% are peasant families that live in remote areas where you would as a Colombian or as a foreigner step into the guerrilla toes before into a landmine? Of course not, far to much intelligent information for you. Something tells me you were told a nice little story by somebody who would love, if she didn´t already, get into your pockets and eventually into your house.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Nov 18, 2006, 12:16:

getting used to be on your guard all the time takes time and is not easy. I thought it was a royal pain but got used to it after some time. (I also came from a small town in Scandinavia with practically no crime at all). All on all, you have to take the bad with the good and outweigh the risks very carefully, but I have never, ever regretted my time in Colombia. (I lived in Cali for 12 years).

Landmines, yes, but then again I seriously doubt your boyfriend or his family would allow you or your little daughter to wander off to the mountains and jungles of Colombia where you might be exposed to this kind of danger.

Good luck whatever your decision will be.

Cheers,
Desi

«Sé que los seres humanos y los peces podrán coexistir en paz». ( George W. Bush, Saginaw 29-09-00)

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

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stayorgo says on Dec 4, 2006, 01:42:

Wanna know what i decided? Its looking like i will be going for at least one month maybe more depending on how things look and feel when we get there. My BF has decided to stay here and not return before christmas and we will travel to Colombia with my daughter at the end of January. I appreciate the comments though i do think there is a lot of negativity in the above posts. Some of them constructive but most just scaremongering.
Of course Colombia is not as comfortable as the USA or Australia. But thats hardly what a sane person would expect when travelling to such a country. Yes a life changing event can happen in an instant. So can walking in front of a bus in a Sydney Street. Does that mean you stop being a pedestrian? Unlike a lot of the posters here i dont expect to leave my comfortable life here and re-create that in Colombia. Isnt that the whole point of experiencing a different culture? What i asked for was some advice on the best way to stay safe in Colombia and what i got back on the whole was a bunch of negative jibes questioning my parenting skills, the strength of my genuinely loving relationship, and brain capacity. And throwing the whole population of colombian men into the same basket is a little stereotypical dont you think? They aren't all cheating controlling bastards you know!
Thankyou Desi for you comments And to the others who offered genuine advice....

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litost says on Dec 4, 2006, 02:54:

Great idea stayorgo, I hope it'll be everything you expect (I think it'll be even more). As for the tone of some of the responses you got here, I couldn't agree more. Not only are there some self-proclaimed experts on colombian safety and society issues, but it turns out everyone's got a PHD in intercultural relationships and parenting. You seem like a very conscious and down to earth person, I think you'll know whose advice to take seriously (aka Desi, Tinto, and a few others) and to what extent. You also seem very open minded and adventurous, so you should have no problem fully experiencing all the positive things Colombia has to offer.

Don't miss the chorizos and termales in Santa Rosa de Cabal!

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