I am not Colombian, but I am dating a Colombiana from Medellin. I see all these statements on the internet about how loyal and affectionate Colombian women can be. But for some reason I can't believe this. My belief is women are women. People are people no matter where you come from. But I just wanted to hear anybody's opinion about their relationships with a Colombiana or Colombiano. Do colombians have strong morals of being loyal to their mate, husband or fiance. Just wanted to see if a long distance relationships was worth even trying in Colombia. Or this is something ridiculous to consider?

Posted on May 15, 2004


You might also like:

Comments:

are Colombians faithful Dear Mr astone; You must understand that latin men are very macho, they have little respect for their women and many married men will cheat on their wifes and feel it is ok because after all they are men, and if the wife does not like it she can leave and take his children with her. Very irresponsible. Some respect, they create children and demonstrate very little responsibility, and think nothing of making another woman pregnant then leaving her. Just like dogs in the street.

Posted on May 15, 2004


Okay astone...



I am not generalizing the colombians here but i have met quite a few colombians during my 2 years stay in melbourne, australia. i should say my circle of friends here r colombians only :( and i have even dated/stayed with one before. the only thing i could say about them is.... most of them r not faithful(both sexes). it seems like cheating or intending to cheat is pretty normal for them. I am sorry if i have offended anyone but this is what i see and what i experienced from here. on the other hand, these could be due to the fact that they r out of the country and just wanna have a little bit of fun and different experience. however, that doesn't stop me from going to colombia and experience the real colombians there because they r the best ppl u can meet.



chao, christina

Posted on May 15, 2004


Are Colombianas faithfull? I have been married to a Colombiana (Rola)(From Bogota) for 8 years. Befor that a Gringa for twenty, who cheated on me numerous times, and could not understand why that was wrong! My Colombiana wife, on the other hand always says and means and has proven, I married you for life! Its me that when I get mad are quick to say divorce. Because I lost faith in woman with my first wife. I would say as anywhere there will be unfaithfull ones. However I would say that, as a general statement. There are more faithfull Colombian woman than anywhere I have been with the exception of Indian woman (India). estebanf

Posted on May 15, 2004


No matter if she is colombian, or argentinian, or whatever, it depends who you are dating, her education, etc

Posted on May 15, 2004


Very hard to make generalizations - they are always wrong. My own experience with Colombianas and my paisa wife is they are devoted to their families and extremely loyal and faithful.

Posted on May 15, 2004


your are right thanks....

Posted on May 15, 2004


Asmith is right Colombianos are like that I have many Colombiano friends (more Colombiana's) and they are cool and all but it is true they are not embarased to say they have another lover when married or leaving women pregant, many are proud. It is the macho atmosphere. I am a guy and it can be fun en recocha just talking guy talk, but most Colombiano I know try to love out their "guy talk", but American's like me there is a fine line I wouldn't cross because of my culture and my upbringing.



Pete

Posted on May 15, 2004


It all depends If you you are away the mice will play in most cases in Colombia I'd say are true, but I've been with and known real quality Colombiana's. As a generalization the more educated the more faithful is what I've seen. I have never been "cheated on" by a Colombiana, but know tons of Colombianas that have been treated badly by their Colombiano boyfriends el engano y todo.



Pete

Posted on May 15, 2004


my take I have worked in colombia, and am fluent in spanish;



believe it or not, perhaps it is easier for the higher class woman to play around then the one with less economic recourse. not uncommon as i have seen is a maried couple, the husband has his little "amigita(s)" and the wife may also have her "amigitos" culturally it is worse for the wifes activity to come to light than that of the husband.



not uncommonly marriages do fine even with the occasional "extracurricular activities" providing they are for recreation and not love.



very common are short stay motels everywhere. each room may have its own garage. you enter, someone closes the door, you dont see them and they dont see you. the room has a revolving window. you pay for the room, the windows turns and you get towels and soap. departure is the reverse.



ofcourse friends told me about this as i have never been to one.

Posted on May 15, 2004


my limited experience with this is.... yeah, mostly what everyone above says. The men & women cheat on each other. I am not sure about married colombians, just the 20 somethings I've met. But really I find it no different than the americans I know in the same age group. It depends on the caliber of the person really. I have been dating a sweet colombian man for months and have never been happier than I am with him. but I believe that is all about his value as a person, however, his friends and their girlfriends seem intent on cheating on each other. And his friends have very pretty girlfriends, doesn't matter. He also is not a typical latino as has been discussed here, very much a man but not into the colombiano/machismo crap. Not overtly jealous, very respectful and I treat him the same.

You just really need to know ur partner, there's gems out there waiting to be found. all you need is patience, a good eye and a good attitude.

Posted on May 15, 2004


As a colombiana... I can tell you we are faithful, but we are also human, I think we are not gonna look outside for something we have at home, so, if you make that paisita happy, she will never disappoint you.

I think we all take the chance, I believe in american guys, I think they are loyal and honest, but I've seen some exceptions!, what I don't know is the reason why they cheat.



A colombiana is a good choice!

Posted on May 15, 2004


Its good to hear the things you say Motherof2 How can you make them happy in a long distance relationship? If you can't be there with them on a day to day basis. Does the internet or telephone count as quality time? Being that if you were American who was trying to build a relationship with a Colombian. Well in my opinion, I think cheating is probable to happen. The reason would be that you are never there most of the time.



Like for example, I have a job that keeps me away from my mate for 6 months until I could visit her for 2 weeks. Just because my job gives me 30 days of the year for vacation time. And I can imagine how hard it can be for a woman or man in Colombia to stay loyal in a internet email or phone call relationship for a year or two until she got her visa. Since her mate is hardly there. Maybe visits her for 2 weeks or more per six months, unless he is rich and doesn't work or he quits his job in the states to spend quality time in Colombia. You can't simply grab her and say lets go to America. You have to wait for all the papers to be done. Now if she is a rich Colombian, that is a differert story.



I would like to know why she or he would not cheat in this situation? You have all this partying, drinking, dancing, as part of the culture and your american counterpart doesn't speak spanish, etc....He or she would never know, right? and we all have the need for sex, affection, and time together to build a true relationship.



In my lifestyle and work. I don't think it is feasible or intelligent to get married in this situation, due to me not being there for my mate in Colombia working a normal 9-5 m-f job.... I think I am asking for it. But if there was a way to live with her for few years and build a relationship, yea that might work. And you would really know your mate. I personally have decided not to commit to anyone that I meet in Colombia or any other long distant relationship unless I had this kind of time to give. I elected that when I go, I have fun and no serious ties.



In America, like the military life, soldiers are always gone away from there wives. And I tell you from serving the military for 8 years in the past. There is alot of cheating going on. Just because the husband or wife is not home. I think it is natural human behavior. That is why I never elected to marry in my military career. I seen many men and my friends coming back from a war or one year tour in a different country, and finding there house empty and their beautiful wife gone because she found someone that was there and she didn't have children to worry for.



So, my question for this board is to see if we all think that a Colombiana is much more loyal than americans? when it comes to loyalty in a long distant relationship that may build to marriage.



If you wanted a relationship with a Colombian and you are american or European, and your citizenship /work does not permit you to live with her on a day to day basis or her not being able not to leave the country unless she has a visa, you would get the same situation right? or no, because she is a Colombian.



Intelligently, most people wait at least 2 years or more for example before thinking of marriage. 2 years of relationship time with 6-8 months of waiting for a visa.. All this time has passed by with no real quality time together. How can you expect her to be loyal through all this time and not finding another because you are not there?



My experience in Colombia, most of the women I met, bragged how they had more than one boyfriend, and the men that were "Married" constantly bragged or shown that there loyalty to there wife was not important. It was like normal to cheat on their wife. And what does the wife do about this? Nothing. She has three or more children to take care of. She can't leave her husband who pays for the food, shelter, etc...She would ignore the cheating. And not even consider divorcing her husband. I hope that I did not offend anyone. But these are real observations of people I know in Colombia.



I have seen many women there who had no Husband that were pregnant or had few children already. It was sad to see so many young beautiful women with children and no father for their hijos. I think it is because they are beautiful women there and many. More so than men. And being a man in Colombia, you have that desire to cheat because there are beautiful women all around, wherever you go and they are all looking for a man or husband. Now the wifes on the other hand were probably the most loyal I seen, but the husband were not. I was thinking that it is because they are the ones against the odds. There are more women than men. And my feelings in my gut from these married women were, " I am lucky to have a man supporting me and has a job and if I leave I am stuck with three children and he will run out with another woman." The unmarried women with novios were the women I witness that bragged how they had a certain amount of men to choose from or maybe its a inner anger or revenge that if you can't beat what the men were doing, join them.



This comment is just my opinion and my observations from visiting Colombia several times .. My intent was not to offend anyone, because in America, we have our problems too. We have the one of the highest divorce rates in the world. But I writting all this to really know, are colombianas more loyal than most other women in the world. I heard that mexican women are one of the most loyal, like indian women. Due to their culture.



I have not seen all of Colombia and all the people. So I am not saying what I wrote here is correct. Again in my observations, people are people based off their enviroment and morals. It depends how you were raised and your enviroment, your education. etc. Thanks for all your comments, I did appreciate all of them. And for the people who did find a good colombian to marry and overcame the obstacles, you bring hope to us all seeking a true love in life.

Posted on May 15, 2004


Hola Walter I think that the perception of everyone being prepared to cheat on one another is flawed and cannot be applied like a coat of paint on anyone of any country. This theory that you advance should be balanced against ones age, maturity and social or moral values and not necessarily against their country of residence. For us to pass judgment on other peoples faithfulness we (ourselves) must look in the mirror. I myself am still trying to forget some of my inappropriate behavior of my twenties.



When we are young 90% of the relationship are based upon physical attraction and sex but as we get older we find that we desire to talk to these other people and communication becomes an important and necessary part of the relationship. When I was much younger I was attracted solely by a woman's physical appearance but as I grew older it was more important to have some commonality of communication, goals, direction, mutal respect, trust, honestity and values.



I beleive that each of us must be secure in our own relationship with ourselves before we can be secure and trusting with others. I would go crazy going through life not trusting anyone or anything. I trust each person until they prove themselves untrustworthy. Sure sometimes my judgment is bad but it's a small price to pay for the many times it all works out as one would hope. I would hate to live my life in the reverse of not trusting anyone until they proved themselves trustworthy.



Everyone keeps talking about all these unfaithful people and I guess I live a sheltered life as I don't see this 99% promblem that keeps being referred to. If you want a family and security for their future you can't build that on a foundation of muliple sex partners and cheating.



Most latin women I know would have a difficult time handling multiple relationships as they are not programed that way. What's on their mind comes out their mouth (at the same time) so for the most part you always know where the relationship stands as it's all on the table (the good, the bad and the ugly).



Yes, I was married a few times in the USA and there is things I could agree with you about but, in fact, no relationship (marriage or otherwise) was any better or worse than my first american wife. All the rest had different names, minds, bodies and different "good or bad points" as I did but in the end nothing much was different or better.



In all of our relationships (business and personal) life must be based upon trust and if you don't give it you won't receive it. In your personal life it doesn't take long to sort winners from losers or faithful from unfaithful. The signs are on all of us for others to read.

Posted on May 15, 2004


You posted some words of wisdom and experience there, Gary.

Posted on May 15, 2004


I have the same thinking I try to always assume people are good and honest before even knowing them. And I let the time and action tell the truth. For one person, I knew in my life. Lied once, I asked why, there was their reason, I forgived. Then they lie twice, third time and now I am hearing the "cry wolf" story. So, why, I don't really know. But I knew to be more observative at that point and really look at where I was standing with this person. And made my decision to move on. I do appreciate all your comments and learned alot from you all. Muchisimo Gracias.

Posted on May 15, 2004