Anyone know anything about assault-domestic violence?

caulfield2 says on Jun 3, 2006, 08:35:

Can't edit this for some reason....she (the ex) was assaulted two or three months ago the first time. It happened the second time now this week. Two months ago, her roommate said quote I'm going to cut your face unquote and pushed-shoved her into the wall.

My ex is 5-6 and only 100 pounds, so she was outweighed by about 30 pounds in this battle, She is pretty fragile, physically.

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morphus says on Jun 3, 2006, 09:44:

? " her roommate said quote I'm going to cut your face unquote and pushed-shoved her into the wall"


That sounds serious. Tell her to call the police and file a report. She can move out and then get an order of protection against her. That should hopefully help with breaking the lease. Maybe Utopiacowboy or Gomez can help :)

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caulfield2 says on Jun 3, 2006, 10:35:

To make it worse, both are models.

The crazy roommate actually looks a lot like Pamela Anderson, minus the implants. The difference is she takes about 45 minutes to an hour to look like that. Without the make-up, just another girl with blonde hair and a nice body.

My ex looks pretty without an ounce of make-up caked on.

I guess they did have a kind of race to see who would call the police first, with both thinking that would give them some kind of advantage against the other. It´s a mess, for sure.

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Miguel_Clavo says on Jun 3, 2006, 11:22:

My advice…..at the right price, too! We can eliminate the domestic violence laws up front. They normally apply to “dating relationships” and above, so unless the two are in a dating relationship, lovers, sexual partners, cohabitants, etc, these laws don’t apply.

Disclaimer: My comments are based on California law, and the laws in the state where this is occurring may be different in language. Even taking the advice of a lawyer licensed in other states has to be taken with a grain of salt, as each individual state writes it own laws and definitions of crime, etc. So unless that lawyer has actually studied and has experience in the state and local laws of the state (and has passed the applicable “BAR” exams where the crime is occurring), you need to confirm it with the application of the law by the local police department who will be applying the laws. This way you will get completely accurate information for your/her situation.

Assault/Battery Issues: I would recommend that your ex contact the local police department with jurisdiction for the apartment location. She needs to file a police report for the criminal threats of violence (where the threats are specific and directed to her), assault/battery, and prior assaults. If there is evidence of the battery, such as bruises, swelling, black eyes, physical trauma, redness, however slight, it needs to be documented and photographed by both the police department and by herself. (since she probably wont have access to the police photos, so her own photos are important for the application for a restraining order.) If the police arrive and try to kiss the report off as GD suggest, ask again to have the report taken, and evidence documented, and if the officer still tries to convince her that nothing will happen, ask for a supervisor. Be persistent, because most police agencies have a requirement that if a citizen is adamant about a report, then one should be taken. If the supervisor is still a zero, ask for his supervisor, and continue upward.

If there is current and visible injuries, then the possibility exists for an arrest and or a warrant to be issued later based on the officers report. The aggressive roommate can always claim a sort of “mutual combat” situation where both combatants “voluntarily” engage in a fight. Normally used in situations between two drunks in a bar who want to show who has the biggest juevos…..=) It’s a judgment call by the officer in these situations, to determine who the aggressor is and who the person defending themselves. Most times the defender has more and worse injuries. Either way, at a minimum, if the aggressor doesn’t go to jail, then the report will be taken where the aggressor is listed as a suspect. This will have value later when the aggressor repeats the assaultive behavior, which, if your ex stays in the house, will most certainly occur.

This brings up the next issue: the safety of your ex. She needs to do one of two things:

First, in order for her to remain the apartment/house, she can apply for a Temporary Restraining Order to prevent the aggressor from doing several things, such as not to come within X feet of the victim, the victims home, children, work, school, family, etc. Also, it might be possible, if the judge agrees, to have the court order the aggressor out of the house on a temporary basis. In this situation, it would be hard to tell the aggressor to stay away from the victim if they are in the same household. Hence, the kick-out orders, allowing your ex to remain in the house. But, the issue of the aggressors child comes to play, so the judge may not be inclined to order the child (and of course, the mother/aggressor) out of the house. In California, it is determined on a case by case basis.

Second, being in denial about whether it will happen again is something she doesn’t want to do. It will happen again, and again….So, to guarantee her physical safety, she needs to live somewhere else if she can’t get the aggressor kicked out. But even with the aggressor kicked out of the house, there is no “magic bubble” around her that will stop a determined suspect from harming her physically. She will constantly have to be conscious of her surroundings with regards to her roommate from hell. The aggressor can not prevent your ex from leaving and moving out. False Imprisonment (preventing ones free movement) and Kidnapping criminal laws will kick in.

In California, if she were to move out, both she and the roommate are responsible for the lease, and other bills. The reality of it is, the landlord would have to go through civil remedies to collect the money owed to them. Again, it is easier to sue/collect monies owed from someone who is physically staying in the home, and the landlord has easy access to. It’s hard to sue someone you have no idea where they are located. Now, one caveat, if your ex is the one staying in the apartment as a result of the roommate and her kid being kicked out by the courts, then the roommate from hell might also flake on lease and utility payments which the landlord will have an easier time suing and serving papers on her, and not the aggressor. The question then is: can your ex continue paying all the expenses without the payment from the aggressor?

As far as resident status in the US, in California, 99.999% (a guestimate only, don’t hold me to it..=)) of the local police departments really don’t give a shit, and will not even pursue that as we don’t enforce federal immigration regulations…..if the person has a federal felony immigration warrant (ie, for reentry after a prior deportation) however, we will enforce that, as it is a court-ordered arrest, and is difficult not to enforce.

One last thing, normally criminal proceedings have no bearing on civil proceedings, so an arrest will have no bearing on a successful attempt to get out of a civil lease. And I wouldn’t recommend your ex fighting the girl, or retaliating at all. She needs to appear as the “Virgin Mary” in presenting her side in both the criminal and civil issues.

Bottom line: if the situation looks to where there is a possibility of her being injured, etc, then by all means relocate. That is just common sense. And beware of 2-3 sentence postings of advice here on PBH, because this is actually a complex situation, with several different important legal and tactical issues involved.


Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo...faltan 27 días...Colombia es pasión!

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 3, 2006, 18:31:

Miquel_Clavo pretty much summed it up.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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morphus says on Jun 3, 2006, 18:48:

Here in New York a lease is no big deal. The landlord is more than happy if you move out because then the rent goes up for the next renter. Thats true that laws differ state to state. Its easy to "screw" the landlord in New York. I know people that have lived in apartments for over a year without paying the rent. I myself was renting a large apartment with a roommate a few years ago. We were paying $1500usd a month until he decided to move out. That was more than I wanted to pay solo. The easy solution was to stop paying the rent and save the money. I stayed for 6 months without paying the rent and without any consequences. I could have stayed longer if I wanted.

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morphus says on Jun 3, 2006, 19:24:

Well, the landlord is a millionaire with over 20 buildings. Thats why I did'nt feel bad. Plus, he threatened to evict me when I was taking care of my mother's dog while she was sick. There was no way I was putting the perrito to "sleep". If it was an apartment in someone's house, I would have never done such a thing. This guy deserved it. I enjoyed it so much when he knocked on the door looking for the rent. "Are you gonna pay the rent" he shouted. I told him to get the F out of here and slammed the door in his face. He could'nt do shit.

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morphus says on Jun 3, 2006, 19:28:

Thats the way I am. When people mess with me, they get it back a lot worse.

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morphus says on Jun 3, 2006, 19:30:

So how was the vacation to Bogota?

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morphus says on Jun 3, 2006, 19:45:

Nope Heres me in Miami in a convertible though...lol

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Miguel_Clavo says on Jun 3, 2006, 20:47:

"They are legally co-habitating, so this is domestic violence." Most domestic violence laws are written to cover dating relationships other than roommate or brother-sister etc situations which normally are covered by historical assault/battery type crimes...They are written as such because of the recent awareness of family and dating/cohabitating/married relationships and the cycle of violence involved..not roommate situations....at least that has been my experience...

Hey Morphus! that photo was taken at a car dealership or car rental place, right??

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo...faltan 27 días...Colombia es pasión!

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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Miguel_Clavo says on Jun 3, 2006, 21:12:

Actually, by recent i meant the last 15 yrs or so.... and most males did believe it was a God-given right to slap the old lady around......25 years ago, it was simply considered a "victimless crime" where the woman just "got what she deserved" type mentality...similar to the mentality that a rape victim "deserved what she got or was just asking for it by the way she dressed"....arrests were simply not made by the police, and not prosecuted....then some enlightened people notice a behavoral pattern of violence, along with the well-publicized deaths of some women crying for police assistance who never got it and were subsequently killed by their lover/husband/wife etc....eventually the tide was turned, an arrest was the desired result, locked up aggressors couldnt harm them, and eventually the concept of domestic violence was the norm in most states. It only recently has been modified to include gay and lesbian partnerships....originally they were not included...

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo...faltan 27 días...Colombia es pasión!

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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Miguel says on Jun 3, 2006, 23:57:

Caulfield2... Kansas City, Missouri or Kansas City, Kansas?

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Miguel_Clavo says on Jun 4, 2006, 10:01:

Most municipal PDs and their respective attorneys handle it more than just a catfight (due to civil liability), IF there are documentable injuries, bruises, etc, like the OP mentioned...but like i said, go up their chain of command if there is resistance from the responding officers...


Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo...faltan 26 días...Colombia es pasión!

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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lpdiver says on Jun 6, 2006, 04:45:

My personal experience... My ex went ballistic on me and attacked me gouging my ear and pulling out chunks of my hair. She apparently wasn't very happy about my Colombian girlfriend.

She did this in front of my daughter. I remained calm and did not retaliate and filed a police report. She had to go to anger management classes for eight months. Boy did that ever piss her off.

The police (In Louisiana anyway) take this sort of thing seriously. What they DON'T like is returning to the same residence over and over again.

Meanwhile your ex need to remove herself from this situation...period.

T

"cook some rice!"

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caulfield2 says on Jun 6, 2006, 06:19:

The landlord is talking to the roommate about moving to another apartment in one of their complexes that would be smaller and cheaper.

I basically told her to make the landlord believe that she is in imminent danger going back into the apartment. She has been staying with friends since it happened Friday night.

She has lots of witnesses to the assaults in terms of people who saw the bruises, cuts and scratches on her body both times. She missed work Friday because of it...her roommate is the one that called the police in an attempt at a pre-emptive strike. The police had them at a table together, then decided there was no point in mediating the dispute and that they shouldn't be together until everything could be sorted out.

To make things worse, her roommate is 3 months' pregnant...of course, the boyfriend disappeared when he realized she was totally psycho, but she really played the fact that she was pregnant up with the police. Also, the father of her first child was in jail three years for drug trafficking.

I háven't discussed the restraining order issue with her yet, but it's a possibility. I think she just prefers to get out of the situation, knows she can never live with her again safely and wants to move on in life without being harmed again. The thing that also sucks is that her roommate and her son have done a couple of thousands of dollars of damage to the apartment. Right now, she's on the lease for $2,400 more in lease payments, through December.

By the way, thanks to everyone for their advice, it's a crazy situation I've never thought about before, and, as noted, there are many complicated legal aspects. However, I don't think it's wise to get a lawyer involved unless her roommate proves totally resistant to negotiating a way out that's mutually acceptable for both parties.

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morphus says on Jun 6, 2006, 15:31:

Of course its a rental. Why waste 2 days driving from New York to Miami?

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corazon en colombia says on Jun 6, 2006, 16:32:

Small claims court? Don't know much about it, but if she has evidence and police don't want to do anything, couldn't she take it to small claims court? Just an option. I didn't see it mentioned above.

My advice is that when it's over she sends in a script for Telemundo's Decisiones or some other telenovela. Sounds like a real mess!! :(

Colombia = paradiso

Colombia = paradiso

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