PBH / colombia (travelguide, pictures) / post

Another one bites the dust....

Can anyone recommend a good attorney in Palmira?

It is the same story money and visa hungry blah blah blah.

Basically, I "woke up" and now need to take action steps toward my ultimate goal of divorcing properly and shutting that door tight.

He is very street smart and I feel like I am in a chess game and he has the moves 2 steps ahead of me. All of you that know the game I am all ears.

Once I began to disconnect blocking skype, hotmail, messenger, changed home number the heat was turned up.

He demanded a divorce on an email I did not block him however it rolled the emails to junk mail. I for a while was sending his emails back immediately with no response then I read them. One of them demanded a divorce that’s when I responded "estoy de acuerdo".

Now, he is back tracking obviously it was antics for a connection.

During this time I was in communication with an attorney in Bogota only because it is a friend of the family. She was going to charge 500,000 pesos however, I wanted to see the contract of services provided as we discussed but no action.

Therefore, receiving services from family it is on their time so plan B. Got in contact with the notary and requested a recommendation of an honest attorney in Palmira.

They gave the phone number bamm. I requested my mother to call on my behalf because her level of communication in Spanish is top notch she is Colombian she knows the game.

My mother the only one who supported this wedding she wanted me to learn my lesson since I had not listed to everyone. Now, once I opened my eyes she knows I learned the valuable life lessons in this situation.

She spoke to the attorney and said it is a mutual agreement divorce based on his email. The attorney put action he sent an email and was working on the contract of services it is to cost double from the one in Bogota etc...I gave him my husband’s phone number and he called him in to sign the divorce papers and was in process of sending me the "poder" through email so I can get it notarized and an apostile.

My husband goes to the attorney’s office and demanded I call him and tell him why I am divorcing him before he will sign any documents. The attorney calls my cell phone but I did not answer because I thought it was my husband. I had not answered is insulting phone calls I see no point.

The attorney sends me an email with the needing to communicate with my husband. I called my husband that same evening and calmly stated facts the last month of emails had been I need, I want, I need, I want and each email only is focused on that subject.

Along, with the jeti mind plays, with such talent of disconnecting me from my identity and reality for dominate control. I told him that I am flying my own plane, driving my own car the director, writer and film maker I know what I had to learn in this life lesson.

He said I psychologically and emotionally abused, abandoned him and que lo engano. Blah, blah, blah.

My mother is like we have to be down and dirty because he is un bago y vivo and she was hop skippity hop in the zone with phone calls etc..Except my husband told the attorney that it is my mom that wants the divorce and that I am confused.

I sent the attorney an email explaining why I want a divorce and that I do not want any form of communication with my husband. My mother is 66 and I could see this situation was her focus and I told her I will handle it myself.

Well jajja the attorney did not respond to me. I don't know what my husband told him so that’s the story.

Bottom line: any suggestions and attorneys.

By osuspain on Apr 17, 2008, 10:40 in Friendly Talkzone.

Mononoke28 says on Apr 17, 2008, 13:11:

Do you live in Colombia? Because in the States who can divorce his ass without him even knowing about it.

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 17, 2008, 13:27:

I am in the states. He is in colombia. we were in the immigration process. i have already sent the letter to USCIS requesting to withdraw my petition of the I130.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

jonas says on Apr 17, 2008, 13:40:

I believe that if it is as you state a mutual agreement divorce (you sound like he might have changed his mind on that one) you can do the divorce now without the help of an attorney. Not too sure how, do a search on this site. Good Luck.

What I have, I do not want to lose, but Where I am I do not want to stay, but those I love, I do not want to leave, but those I know I no longer want to see, but Where I die, I do not want to go;I want to stay where I have never been

0 funny, 0 helpful.

lawyer CO says on Apr 17, 2008, 15:30:

same story always.....now...i dont know why the attorney did not fill in the papers quick.

FOR JONAS: PETITION FOR DIVORCE CAN BE DONE ONLY BY A LAWYER !

the question is :

if the divorce still mutual?
2. Where was the last place you lived togheter?
3. If he is asking for alimony?
4. which was the last time you saw him?

in my experience dealing with this type of cases, well a hard talk can do a lot

Esteban Rada
colombian lawyer
email: lawyerscolombia at yahoo.com

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 17, 2008, 15:33:

it was a mutual agreement and he then backed out. He then went back to my attorney and told him that my reasons for wanting a divorce are not valid and he is going to contest it even if it takes a couple of years.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 17, 2008, 15:48:

Esteban....the mutual agreement went out the window when he backed out. unless the email can validate he demanded the divorce. We were married in Palmira in Oct 2007 and that was the last time we have seen each other. The longest time we have lived together is for the 2 weeks at a time period as a tourist . He quit his job in Cartagena in August 2006 and moved to Palmira because someone that worked for un juzgado told him he had to be in palmira to do the paperwork for the wedding. Hence he claims he gave up everything for me and he cannot find work. I have supported him since he quit his job. The whole thing was antics from the start the point is that was some backround information.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

lawyer CO says on Apr 17, 2008, 17:42:

well....if what he wants is a fight , being you, i would look for an annulment due to is similar to the divorce but eliminates the link and puts you back as single.

Tomorrow i will publish an article about it.

Knowing the facts you should prepare to trial !.

Esteban

0 funny, 0 helpful.

GregYohn says on Apr 17, 2008, 18:48:

Hola!

What stay do you live in the USA? How long have you been married? Does your spouse have an interview date with the USA Embassy in Bogota?

You could get a no fault divorce and a no fault divorce after a period of separation has occurred without your spouse's agreement depending on your state.

When the spouse gets to the USA, then USCIS takes over and not the State Dept. USCIS is worthless and will not deport the spouse, even if they lied to the Embassy. I am finalizing a divorce here in the USA and USCIS will not kick out the 3 time adulturous soon to be former spouse, even though the marriage was illegal.

12VOIP.com gives free calls to Colombia.Greg

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 17, 2008, 20:28:

Esteban

I am interested in the annulment possibility actually that would be ideal. Does an annulment require a trial? Are you in a position to be contracted for this issue?

This is a copy of the email he sent does it have any weight? Keep in mind this was fake only to get me to communicate with him anyway possible. Once I said "de acuerdo" It is getting ugly.

mire, comienzo este correo haciendole una peticion, regreseme mi libertad, no quiero nada con usted, me quiero divorciar, y es ya, no quiero estar ni un solo segundo amarrado a usted, le doy una semana para que le de una respuesta a mi tia o a mi tio, yo no estare dispuesto hablar contigo nada que no sea del divorcio, tienes solo esta semana para que te comuniques con mi familia, quiero que me respondas, o empiezas tu el proceso? o lo hago yo?, te digo que te doy esta semana, por que si no tengo una respuesta esta semana, instaurare una demanda para poder tener una respuesta de mi divorcio, no me pueden obligar a estar con alguien que no quiero estar, esto es muy serio para mi familia y para mi, la decisión esta tomada solo comunicate con ellos por que yo no quiero hablar nada contigo, que no sea sobre mi divorcio, es lo unico que quiero.mire no se que paso, pero creo que usted si sabe muy bien, su silencio, es por que? por voluntad propia o por que hay algo o alguien que le impidencomunicarse.

mi conclusión a todo esto y espero este equivocado, usted tubo un encuentro con alguien del pasado, que represento una etapa en algun momento de su vida, y la pasaron super, no se, es una suposición mia y ahora tiene algun tipo de problema para comunicarse conmigo, bueno eso no me importa, solo quiero que se comunique con mi familia para lo de mi divorcio, y si no entiende mucho, se que lo puede hablar con su mama, ella le ayudara con este tema del divorcio, mire esto para mi es muy importante, quiero estar divorciado lo mas rapido que se pueda, espero que usted este de acuerdo.

ah sus cosas como el computador que me presto se quedan en casa de mi tia, si quiere mandar por el computador yo lo dejara ahi. que tenga una vida feliz, y espero que usted tome conciencia de como maneja su vida, no la tire mas por el abismó usted puede lograr cosas muy grandes. me despìdo pidiendole a Dios que usted me ayude con lo del divorcio.

• el temor al hombre, solo agranda el temor al hombre, se feliz.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 17, 2008, 20:39:

Greg

He has never been to the USA. I need to divorce him in the Country I married him in because if I do get a divorce in the USA and then send it to get legalize it has to go before a judge to accept the process from the other country.

I will not let the situation get to the point where I sign the contract to support him in the USA.

We have been married 6 months since October. I took the I130 paperwork with me to Colombia and filled it out while I was there to make sure we had all the correct data and signatures. He filled out the 325G form and signed it, made copies of his passport, cedula, kept all the receipts, sent the acto y registro to Bogota for an apostile while we were on our Honeymoon. When we arrived to Palmira the papers had arrived. When I arrived back to the states I compiled all the data and made table of contents it was at least a 50 page packet I organized lots of hours. I sent it the following week after the wedding to immigration with the $355.00 check.

Basically, it was half way through the process before I pulled the plug on the operation screw the gringa.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Robert Jorge says on Apr 17, 2008, 20:46:

This guy sounds like he is in dire need of a real bad accident or muggging.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Tinto (Moderator) says on Apr 17, 2008, 20:54:

And like way too many Colombian writers, also in need of capital letters and periods.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

lpdiver says on Apr 18, 2008, 03:12:

Your fastest and easiest option MAY be to pay him off. If you can buy his cooperation things will progress much faster. Make sure you get a copy of his birth certificate with the divorce recorded on the back.

He did not have to quit his job and move to do paperwork for the wedding...period.

Good Luck,

t

"cook some rice!"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Albatross says on Apr 18, 2008, 06:33:

Not that's it's any of my business, but you said the last time you saw him was when you were married. So, basically, the last time you saw him, you liked him enough to get married, but now you are locked in mortal combat ? What happened ?

I'm only asking because I am engaged to a Colombiana and I would sure as hell like to avoid anything even resembling the crap you stepped into.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 07:36:

albatros

I will state it more clearly. Yes, the last time I saw him was when we were married in October 6 months ago. The process is lengthy to get married. For, example each notary has different requirements and steps need to be taken to align dates of paperwork to be possessed and coordination. By saying that I had to of arrived prepared.

What has transpired since the wedding were only the red flags snacking me in my face. I am educated and was played like a violin. The experience was like an encounter with a vampire and because one of many factors was a lack of education increased the survival tactics and low street savvy.

I learned the overall imbalance will disharmonize the relationship and to offset it thinking "love" is the key is an expensive, painful, disillusioned life lesson to learn.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

gringoloid says on Apr 18, 2008, 07:51:

suspain.............the 'red flags' describe incidents before the marriage. albatross is asking for what caused the marriage to fall apart when you haven't been in his company since the marriage.

i'm sure you feel bad and it sounds like prying...........but a lot of outsiders on pbh have sent money to girlfriends and regretted it later, so you're in a pretty big club here.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 08:35:

gringoloid

I understand the red flags were before it took the flags to hit me in the face to wake up. Basically, the marriage fell apart when I woke up and realized my personal growth has been compromised through the disconnection of my reality. This action was his antics to achieve his goals of feeding off someone’s growth. He is a talented artist and knows how the brain works to acquire control. Of course when I got "lost" in translation I thought I was doing the "right" thing. This individual is a puppet master. It was gradual because he knew if he came off as the money and visa hungry person he would loose me so it is all a mind game.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mononoke28 says on Apr 18, 2008, 09:13:

I'm confused.

I've known people who have come to the US and divorced their wive's who lived in Colombia without them knowing about it. They went to a lawyer, then put an add in the paper and then they were granted a divorce. Now, what's sick about these bastards is that they married gringas here in the States and their poor wive's are still waiting for them in Colombia.

Maybe you can find out what the process is to do so. I don't understand why you have to go to Colombia to legalize it when it's already legal. Because otherwise the US would be filled with polygamists if their US divorces were not legal in the country they got married.

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Albatross says on Apr 18, 2008, 09:44:

"otherwise the US would be filled with polygamists"... I guess you've never heard of Utah... or Texas.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

0 funny, 0 helpful.

morphus says on Apr 18, 2008, 09:48:

Nobody should get married unless they are a virgin.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

jonas says on Apr 18, 2008, 09:56:

Mono: She got married in Colombia not in the U.S.of A

0 funny, 0 helpful.

webmanco says on Apr 18, 2008, 10:50:

I thought this thread was about another PBHappier melt down.

Good luck Osuspain

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mononoke28 says on Apr 18, 2008, 10:55:

jonas says on Friday April 18th, 2008 9:56:
Mono: She got married in Colombia not in the U.S.of A

I know, the people who told me they got divorced were also married in Colombia. Got divorced here and it was all legal even without their wives not even knowing.

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mononoke28 says on Apr 18, 2008, 10:59:

Ok found it! I knew there was a way:

Here's what it says:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060724042451AAvNzKD

The most difficult type of the divorce to obtain is one where the spouse is in a different state or country and is not cooperative. Under those circumstances, the state requires that you make an effort to contact your spouse and notify him that you've filed for divorce. Generally, you will be required to attempt to contact your spouse at a previous address either in person or through the mail. In many cases the spouse filing for divorce sends a certified letter to an old address because he or she knows the letter will be returned as undeliverable. Because some people use this ploy, the judge may order an additional attempt to contact the non-resident spouse by posting an ad in a local newspaper. This is a complete waste of time because if your spouse is in another country he's not likely to read your local newspaper. Silly, but it's the law.

After you've met all these requirements, the judge will schedule a hearing and when your spouse does not appear, your divorce will be granted and you will be restored to the status of a single, non married person.

This particular type of divorce is time consuming, complicated and may be quite expensive. Although I hate to do so, I would recommend that you retain an attorney to guide you through this process.

I'm not fond of attorneys. For a number of years I had a paralegal business that specialized in divorce and was in direct competition with attorneys. I helped many people who were in a situation similar to yours. It's not easy but it is possible.

Good luck .

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:03:

lpdiver

I will see what is the price to pay him off I was trying to avoid handing him over money as the same song is played.

And to get a copy of the divorce record on the back of his birth certificate sounds smart too just incase one day he gets his hands on the visa and shows up demanding more. jejeje

The quitting the job was pure way to manipulate the "I gave up everything for you" BS.

I appreciate the ideas. Thank you,

0 funny, 0 helpful.

jonas says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:16:

no le mandas plata- manda le una moto

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:17:

Mononoke 28

This is worth looking into I wonder if the fact that I was unaware I was suppose to register the marriage in the USA until a co-worker of mine from Panama asked me that question? She thinks it is not valid in the US only because her husband of 15 years is a US Citizen and had to do those steps. However, the laws may have changed. Therefore, if it is not valid in the U.S. then how can I get divorced in the U.S.

I remember reading a comment from Gator that it doesn't matter if it is registered it is still legal in both the US and Colombia. I read all the threads on divorce and Palmira before I posted to learn people went through.

It appears that the main theme is money and visa but each experience has several different factors of how it has played along and how it has played out.

Thanks for the looking out I will further investigate the possibility.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

miamimike says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:18:

A Friend of mine here in Florida flipped his Colombian wife of 13 months 5K to sign off on the divorce he iniated. It was well worth it, worked like a Charm and saved him a lot of headaches. $5K to him was like 50 cents to me,,,LOL Think about a Cash gift to get him to exercise his options and sign the papers uncontested,,,,A few Ben Franklin 100s off the US Dollar Tree can really grease the Skids,,LOL

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Mononoke28 says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:19:

The US recognizes most marriages that took place overseas. I know that they DO recognize marriages that took place in Colombia. I'm a US citizen, got married in Medellín in a notaría and it's 100% legit here in the States. My husband received his visa and is now legal in the US. No need to register it here. So yes, your marriage is currently legal in the US.

Diana

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:28:

Monokoke28

Ok, well that answers that. They have something up thier sleeve in Colombia because his sister sent me a nasty gram and she stated that she was a witness that I abandoned him.

yo entiendo y apoyo la posicion de mi hermano.

Tu actitud o silencio nos dejan mucho que pensar, yo fui testiga del tiempo, casi a diario que le tomo a mi hermano ir al internet a escribirle o a llamarle y usted nunca le respondio.

Dime,!!!!! ni el mas ciego, para no ver o entender que hay razones de peso para no hacerlo.

La angustia y la incertidumbre de XXXXX no se hicieron esperar mas, asi que no digas que fue EL. el que pidio el divorcio, TU lo llevaste al desespero o acaso consideras que eso ES VIDA!

Hoy te sales por la tangente, diciendo El fue el que pidio el divorcio y yo sencillamente acepte

por DIOS. Sin la minima explicacion de tu actitud y comportamiento, durante todo este tiempo de espera y de angustia de mi hermano.

No fuiste sincera con EL y no lo seras con nadie, porque ni tu misma lo eres... !!

Espero que todo termine de la mejor manera, porque el que juzga nuestros actos es DIOS

0 funny, 0 helpful.

lpdiver says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:34:

The recording of the divorce on the back of the birth certificate also ensures that the process has been completed. You will need that document if you ever repeat this in the future with another person.

t

"cook some rice!"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 11:38:

lpdiver

ok, Thank you.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

goin_south says on Apr 18, 2008, 12:29:

Morphus.. that new avatar needs a little help....
I'll see what I can do later, with some paint
fokn Saturday Night Fever, o' what?
hey, I ain't no disco duck ;)

Ciao! Gustav.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

slguy says on Apr 18, 2008, 12:41:

am I the only one who's confused by this situation???

marries a colombiano (apparently having sleepwalked thru the courtship, ignoring "red flags")...returns to US...sees formerly invisible "red flags"....cuts all communication until email demanding divorce...and now sees attitude from colombia expressing feelings of abandonment as some plot?

where I come from, going to another country and cutting all communication IS abandonment, absent physical violence or realistic fear of it.

What am I missing?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 14:07:

I cut all communications after i informed him that it is better to look for a job. I stopped sending money and he got angry, insulting, demeaning etc...therefore, i cut all the communication. I guess if the cow is getting milk then one has reason to feel "safe". yeah it is a duh situation.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

slguy says on Apr 18, 2008, 15:13:

please understand....i was NOT being critical....only expressing my usual confusion. ;)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 16:01:

slguy

really it is ok I understand.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 16:06:

go south

gottcha

0 funny, 0 helpful.

osuspain says on Apr 18, 2008, 16:14:

Thank you, everyone for the suggestions. After analyzing the variety of possibilities this can play out. I have came to the conclusion my time and energy is worth more than letting this drag out for a couple of years to trial for a battle on principle. I have crunched the numbers and decided to pay him off to sign the papers for a mutal divorce agreement. I can only laugh at this nonsense situation.

thanks again.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

slguy says on Apr 18, 2008, 16:47:

good decision AND great attitude!

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

0 funny, 0 helpful.