"A" number

wendell13 says on Jan 2, 2008, 18:19:

If she doesn't want to go, she can stay here legally or illegally. You won't have much say in the matter, I'm afraid

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:17:

I'm thinking it'll be interesting to see what happens. She has a daughter too... Also, since writing this post, I found evidence that she's known the idiot she's with since before coming to the US. If I had known this, I would have left her at $$ in Colombia... this is the worst experience I've had in my life.

God Bless America!

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CatGirl says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:19:

Dan - sorry. I looked at some of your postings and comments. Need more info to help you. Are you saying you don't know her A#?
You want her to leave? Is she living with you? If she is, Wendell is right. Infact, you might be better off moving. good luck, keep your powder dry ..purrr

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:28:

She's living with some other guy right now, not with me... I don't know the A number... I wanted to see if it was possible to look up for when I notify immigration that we're no longer together.
Moving would be out of the question... (work reasons)

I'm sure my situation is a walk in the park for some people... but to me, I'm just thinking of all that I tried to do for her and her daughter and the emotional impact it has on me isn't easy on me, but I know that I'll be better off once it's all over with.

God Bless America!

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lpdiver says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:30:

Dan...get your divorce and move on. Her immigration status is then HER problem not yours. Don't get all wrapped up in revenge...move on.

Protect yourself financially

Move on.

t

"cook some rice!"

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:32:

financially, I'm good... she was shut out of accounts/house/everything else.

God Bless America!

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lpdiver says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:34:

How long were you married?

t

"cook some rice!"

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:35:

almost 3 years...
Also, there was one time in early Nov, that she tried to talk me into holding off the divorce until she got her 10yr visa/green card and left pissed when I told her "No".

God Bless America!

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:36:

and she's been in the US almost 2 (she has 2yr conditional visa)

God Bless America!

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lpdiver says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:39:

well...she has an excellent chance of adjusting status. Move on. Sorry for your situation. Maybe she played you, maybe she didn't. Try not to be bitter.

t

"cook some rice!"

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:40:

Not helping with the card..

I'm not too bitter any more... Like my friends say, God has a plan...

God Bless America!

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 19:56:

She also has an excellent chance of NOT getting the real permanent residency card. I don't blame you for being bitter. Just think about all the paperwork you might have from when she came over to the US with you. Surely somewhere on one of those papers is her alien number. If she has a driver's license, she needed her alien number to get that. I am just thinking out loud. For her to go from conditional perm. residency to actual permanent residency, you guys have to make an appointment. So, don't make the appointment. After two years from the issuance of the first green card, she has broke her "conditions" if she doesn't go to the appointment. Then just let her worry about that. In the mean time, get divorced ASAP.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:10:

RJ.. I was thinking the same thing... I also thought that divorce broke the conditions also. Since she also has a SSN as part of the immigration process she would have received the Drivers License with that rather than the A number.... I filed the paperwork early November, and it took a couple weeks to get her served and the lawyer said it takes about 30 days for the court system to wait for any replies and after that its just a matter of getting processed and approved.... Lawyer said it can take about 45 days overall... so I'm hoping any day now, I'll hear something.

God Bless America!

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CatGirl says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:13:

I agree 200% with lpdiver - PROTECT YOURSELF and start the healing process

Dan...get your divorce and move on. Her immigration status is then HER problem not yours. Don't get all wrapped up in revenge...move on.
Protect yourself financially

Move on

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:31:

Divorce is breaking the conditions. So is not making and showing up for the mandatory appointment. And for her to get her social security card, she had to provide her A#.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:32:

But agree also with several of the guys here. Protect yourself the best you can, move on. Easier said than done. I know you must be hurting bad. Hang in there.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:33:

so long as I don't get screwed over by the military... I'll be good.

God Bless America!

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:41:

I don't know anything about that ... but I heard the military aspect during divorces can get ugly. I would spring for some legal counsel if I were you. Don't mention it to your command yet.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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Dan says on Jan 2, 2008, 20:42:

I haven't... going for the quiet out.

God Bless America!

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 2, 2008, 21:22:

Cool. If you want, PM me and give me your phone number if you want to talk. We can compare war stories.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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slguy says on Jan 2, 2008, 22:15:

Wait a minute. Maybe I'm mistaken, but didn't you sign financial responsibility forms to bring her here? I mean, you're on the hook, no, if she ever goes on welfare, etc?

If I'm right, all this talk of let her get the card is crap If I'm wrong, I guess the crap is coming from my keyboard. jajajajjaja

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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lpdiver says on Jan 2, 2008, 22:20:

Dan my man, quiet is good. Remember that little piece of paper you signed. You know the one Affidavit of Support? It's time to read the fine print and weep my friend. IF she goes on welfare and government support for herself and her child; guess what, thats right you have to reimburse the government for FORTY QUARTERS!!!!

And if she plays the abuse card the military and immigrations will be a force for you to have to reckon with.

On the other hand if she becomes a US citizen you are off of the hook.

Just some other aspects to think about.

If you wish to play dirty lure her back to Colombia the pull the trigger on your immigrations issues. I don't advocate it. However, you the one that has to sleep at night.

From my own personal experience Colombianas know this chit backward and forwards.

To me it would be worth it to "play along" and facilitate her citizenship in order to "protect" yourself financially.


t

"cook some rice!"

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lpdiver says on Jan 2, 2008, 22:22:

Hah I see slguy was thinking like myself...jejeje.

t

"cook some rice!"

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 01:09:

I had thought about the support thing... so far, she's going quietly... it's just a matter of seeing if she'll play along as well... I have some other ideas regarding the other guy... I know where they are... I could just show up at the house...but not yet.

God Bless America!

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 02:34:

Dan, I don't blame you one bit for not wanting her to get her Permenent Residency or Citizenship off your back, I was in a similiar situation in 1990 and I went to great lengths so my then wife didn't get status US permenently. Some Do-Gooder Attorneys will tell you this is all but impossible because its hard work to accomplish this and these Attornies want to take the path of least resistance to removing those Dollars from your Pocket in the Divorce Process. I remember going to my Congressman, Senator and actual visits( to the Tampa Immigration offices) to make sure the word got back to then Tampa Immigration(my useless attorney would never have done it) that she was NOT deserving of US Citizenship. Otherwise then filling out Forms, my Divorce Attorney was as Useful as a Pay Toilet in a Diarrhea Ward. LOL Her 2 year conditional Residency period was not up and I knew I would never go to that INS interview to faciliate that removal for Permenent US Residency. I had her sign a Official Change of address Card as soon as she moved out of my Townhouse(at my request she left) from the US Post Office to show she was no longer living with a US Citizen during the 2 year period, a requirement to have her conditional status removed. That never happened. I must have struck the right nerve with someone in the process as prior to Our Divorce being Final, Immigration Agents showed up at her apartment door and informed her of her Status and that since she was no longer legal here in this country, she had two choices, Voluntary Deportation(which she took) or wait 14 days and INS Agents would pick her up and Deport her back home south of the US Border. She Voluntarily deported herself, worked out good for both of us for another reason I cannot discuss on this forum. At this Point, I stood down and rested easy. Don't let anyone tell you this CANNOT BE DONE THOUGH IT TAKES SOME WORK AND EFFORT ON YOUR PART, IT IS ENTIRELY FEASABLE. For those who say don't worry about it as her Immigration status is not your problem, simply NOT true. You are responsible for her financially while she is in this country for 5 years, if she has minor children you have responsability for them for 10 years. Judge your efforts accordingly,,, BTW, don't forget to have her name removed from any Life Insurance Policies and/or Private or Military Federal/State Pension Plans if you listed her as your beneficary at the onset of your Marriage. Many overlook this step and technically she could get her Hooks into your money should you unepectedly pass on. It sounds like you don't want this to occur,,,Cover all your bases

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jan 3, 2008, 02:42:

Isn't that kind of mean, though?
If the relationship didn't work out what would've been the problem letting her to get her adjusted status to legal resident? Would you still have economical responsibilities or obligations on her behalf evenif you divorced her afterwards? I hope it's not done out of bitterness because the marriage failed...or because of perceived fault issues.

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 02:57:

Desi, as I mentioned there was one aspect I could and would not discuss on a Public Forum such as PPBH but if your were privy to it, you may not think what I did as mean spirited. Very possibly, you may have done the same thing yourself! In my case, my objective was NOT only to divorce, but to get her deported. That was accomplished in a legal manner within US Immigration Law,,,

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jan 3, 2008, 03:03:

Ok. you must have had your reasons.

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 03:05:

Dan--of course Immigration has it and any place your wife may have applied to work may also have it(applications) many Potential employers copy down the A Number.Any Schools she applied and/or attended may have it, as well as rental applications, mortage/credit card/insurance forms. be imaginative,,,

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 03:43:

Dan,

In your prior posts you mention that you utilized the USCIS online notification system. You should be able to retrieve one of your various petition numbers and USCIS will be able to cross reference them.

What would just showing up at the guys house get you to further your case?

t

"cook some rice!"

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jorgegdiaz says on Jan 3, 2008, 05:46:

Sorry about the situation. I`m with you. If she played you at least have the decency to tell you up front.
She getting a greencard will be totally up to ICE, actuall y to the guy who does the last interview.
Find any paperwork from ICE (formerly INS) and the number should be there. If there`s none a SRC# must be used.
Good luck

"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."Robert Orben

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jorgegdiaz says on Jan 3, 2008, 05:48:

Oh, don`t be vindictive. If she get`s to get deported, she`ll be in jail waiting for the deportation process and the kid will be in care of ICE as well. It`s not the daughther`s fault.

"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."Robert Orben

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 05:58:

Actually, I think he's puerto rican and when I found out about him, he's an officer in the same unit as I am... just different office.

God Bless America!

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 06:02:

good point... my friends told me I should go to him as ask if he knew about her already being married... but I'm not so sure I'm going to do that.

God Bless America!

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 06:12:

jejeje... my thoughts exactly... try and get her to go quietly or else.

God Bless America!

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 07:35:

Dan...good morning. Looks like you've been churning a bit since last checked the posting. I stretched my claws a bit and tried to get caught up...Good idea to keep up on the USCIS notification list...if anything you will know when things are mailed out etc.. Slguy - yeah good point on the 10 year item.
Only thing I can add is when I was in a similar situation (only similar) I found great relief when I took some time and a little $$ to sit down and have a 1:1 consult with an immigration attny. Protect and take care of yourself....maybe a nice relaxing milkbath and massage tonight will help...purrr

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Chelesupercono says on Jan 3, 2008, 07:40:

Another classic case of: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Move on and for God's sake learn something from it......

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

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elk says on Jan 3, 2008, 07:51:

Dan:

Sorry to hear of your problems, but this is very common. I've been in your shoes myself and know the feeling. As stated above you signed form I-864, an obligation of support. Like myself you are on the hook for 10 years depending on certain conditions as mentioned below regardless of divorce. Some will tell you not to be concerned about the legal obligation, but I can speak from experience and tell you to be careful. It's important that your wife and child continue to have medical coverage over the next ten years. (10 years from your signing the I-864)

Your retirement benefit can be attached by a government agency. In my case it's only 50% of my retirement benefit from the State of California retirement system. I have no idea if a military or social security benefit can be attached. As mentioned above, most of attorneys were useless since your dealing with a U.S government agency, aka: GOD.

The law - I-864:

Your obligation to support the immigrant(s) you are
sponsoring in this affidavit of support will continue until the
sponsored immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, or can be
credited with 40 qualifying quarters of work in the United
States.

Although 40 qualifying quarters of work (credits) generally
equate to ten years of work, in certain cases the work of a
spouse or parent adds qualifying quarters. The Social Security
Administration can provide information on how to count
qualifying quarters (credits) of work.

The obligation also ends if you or the sponsored immigrant
dies or if the sponsored immigrant ceases to be a lawful
permanent resident and departs the United States. Divorce
does not end the sponsorship obligation.

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:06:

GIB,. that's why I'm trying to get it done quietly... the Atty. idea is good advice.

God Bless America!

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Brians says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:08:

I think Dan should just have stayed married and given her her permanantvisa. Then a year later she can get citizenship (3 years immigration through marriage) and then he is off the hook. However that is only if he is really concerned about his liability. Otherwise if he just wants to hurt her (Which I would) I would call immigration and hound them about her being illegal when it expires and see if he can get them to deport her ass. I think we all know Dan is pissed (I would be) and doesn't want her here but if the concern is really for this financial liability then the easiest route is to help her get citizenship.

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:14:

Dan -....get some piece of mind. Immigration Attnys know all the ins & outs

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Brians says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:21:

When she becomes a citizen he is off the hook.

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Brians says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:21:

Your obligation to support the immigrant(s) you are
sponsoring in this affidavit of support will continue until the
sponsored immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, or can be
credited with 40 qualifying quarters of work in the United
States.

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:28:

3years married, 5yrs unmarried.

You're right about the holding of wages... if you owe them they are fast as hell... but if they owe you... it's SLOW... I've been back from Afghanistan for 2 months and I still don't have anything from the travel.

God Bless America!

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Brians says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:31:

GIB it is three years from the issuance of her first Green Card which is now expiring. So only another year. Now I am just throwing that out because Dan says he is over it. However my point is he has to look in the mirror and have a heart to heart and decide why he is really doing this. I would do everything in my power to hurt her as would you GIB. I just would let it be known that I want to do this and not hide behind the idea I am protecting myself. It's over move on if you ask me and if he is so concerned then he should help her get her citizenship.

BTW good thread on Casa de Medellin last night did you catch any of it before it was deleted?

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mranderson says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:32:

Why would she even want to get her citizenship right away? If she gets her 10 year green card. Wouldn't you think she would just wait till the 10 years is about up to get citizenship so she isn't off the hook? She probably knows this.

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Brians says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:34:

Why wait? They can't take away citizenship and this is probably her best shot. Then she has all the benefits and could even move home for a few years and still come back. She could sponser her family. She wants it now.

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:34:

gringoinbogota says on Thursday January 3rd, 2008 3:49:

Dan time to get down and dirty. She used you. The magic three years. Imigration is familiar with this 3 year mark. It is classic time frame for using a guy for a visa since 3 years passes some bench marks. If it has not been three years yet and she was only in country 2 years then she is f^cked as I beleive it is three years married in country not just three years married? You need to get the divorce, overnight the paperwork return reciept requested for your records with a letter explaining she is living with a guy she knew before she came and break all contact with her.

She will be deported eventually, I have ran into more than one woman here that got the boot. Bitches everyone of them. She needs to be deported for your own good. You were a nice guy and look what happens to nice guys. So don't be a nice guy anymore, be a prick. You are financially responsible for her and I have no doubt to whether a friend is going to put her onto that if she doesn't already know it.


Good luck! Get nasty! Move on!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GIB--She Will in many cases NOT be deported, UNLess you press the Button of the right person or Office! I saw this having worked at the Krome Detention system over many Years! Our US Immigration Office is VERY Lazy the truth be told! They like to resolve cases in the easiest way! Saw 100s of very similiar cases in my almost 10 years of employment there. People here on PBH would be shocked if they actually saw just how widespread this Scam is, marrying a US Citizen for Papers(green card)! Sure was an eye opener for me! Though I worked for the US Public Health Service which was on the same grounds as Krome, I was privy to many of these records and observed many INS Adjudicatorsat Krome who worked these cases for years. Unless she committed a Huge error, she very well may slip under the Radar. Eventually those who felt they were wronged and made a lot of Noise, their Ex-partners were eventually rounded up and sent to Krome for deportation!

CatGirl--Forget about getting a Competent Attorny to do this Gruntwork for you. Ain't gonna happen in 99.9% of the cases! They will not unless you payed them specifically to do this and Good Immigration Attornies(at least in Miami) start at around $300 per hour. You are left to do the work yourself informing Immigration! Most of these Divorce Attornies here in Florida are all friends and they talk about the eventual Outcome over a Game Of Golf. That was the case in my Divorce, our Lawyers were Golf Partners at the same country club. Their ONLY Objective is drag the Divorce out as long as Possible to run the Charge Clock and up the Charges!

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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mranderson says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:43:

If she was cheating on Dan before she even came to the US then does she deserve to be rewarded with citizenship? I would do everything I could to make sure she was deported and to make it very difficult for her to ever come back.

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:45:

GIB-- in the 5 year process, for the 1st two years, she gets Conditional Residency. After this 2 year period and after her and Dan would go for thier two year interview and if the interview is satisfactory, the Conditional status is then removed and she becomes a Permenent US Resident. After 5 years, she can petition for Full US Citizenship. BTW, in the first two year conditional period, the Law states she must be "Married and Living" with the US Citizen who petitioned for her,,,I would make sure she is removed, if she is listed as a Beneficary, on his SGLI!(serviceman's group life insurance)

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:48:

Dan. so many assumptions this woman will even file for citizenship. Don't assume this...Citizenship takes much more than filling out forms. Is she the type that spends energy doing constructive things? Or does she simply ride the coat tails of others? Don't assume a thing and get a Local Immigration lawyer to consult with - make the appt...go ahead...come on Do it! Do it ! Now, now ,now.....ahhhh much better....purrrrrr

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:49:

I'm not an officer.. but the guy she is with IS...
I have friends that are officers and I was told that even though we are separated, it could still be looked at as adultery and he (being an officer) can get into a lot of trouble since he has a married wife of an enlisted soldier living with him and dating her. Being an officer, he has a LOT to lose, so if he get's involved, I'm ready for it.

God Bless America!

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:51:

mranderson says on Thursday January 3rd, 2008 8:43:

If she was cheating on Dan before she even came to the US then does she deserve to be rewarded with citizenship? I would do everything I could to make sure she was deported and to make it very difficult for her to ever come back
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would concur 100%! Why reward someone for behavior like this?? Many Women I saw in the Krome Detention center were turned in by jilted Husbands for the same reason as Dans'! I even saw two Italian Children who were turned in by their Italian Father for a Trilogy of a scheme. Boy that was entertaining to see those 3 Italians fighting and yelling in our Clinic! It was never boring at Krome!

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:52:

Her? do constructive things? JAJAJAJA... she only TALKS about working... she's lazy, she talks about learning english and quit her ESL classes, then complains that she doesn't know much english and she can't work... her daughter is 10.5 yrs old for God sake. She doesn't even work to help support her daugher.... so I would say the coat tails comment mentioned.

God Bless America!

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wendell13 says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:54:

I agre e with you 100% Mike.....you did what 99%of other guys didn't do. You pressed the issue and took things into your own hands. Good for you. Also as you know an immigrant can file the I 795 alone claiming abuse with no proof and receive an automatic one year extension. I think it is form I 795

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:55:

unless that other guy helps her, I doubt that she has any idea how to do anything with immigration paperwork.

God Bless America!

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:58:

.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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wendell13 says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:58:

The latin network will advise what to do ..you can be sure of that

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 08:59:

I tried helping her and she always found a reason to complain about.

God Bless America!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:01:

i'm too busy right now but later i will give you my two cents worth regarding these colombianas and every thing i've been warning you guys for years
and i'm gonna blast them with both barrels, no prisoners

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:01:

bring the fact that she is shacked up with another officer? You guys have no idea what a deal that is. Someone can go to the brig for that shit. I am not kidding either.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GIB, I was in the Military several years! You are 100% correct on that! Sometimes though, Officers cover up for others as they sometimes(not always) figure its easier to cover-up instead of pressing the case! Military Careers have been ruined by this type of arrangment!. Officers have had their Careers ruined for fratenizing with Enlisted Personal!

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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mranderson says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:02:

Perhaps they were both playing Dan from the start so why not ruin both of them? Makes sence to me.

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:04:

This isn't just fratenizing with enlisted personal.. but enlisted spouse... Reminds me of a story involving chaplain's retreat where the chaplain who ran the retreat was caught with one of the spouse's...
Officers cover up... This is true.. One of my wifes friends from her ESL class... the husband is an officer.. I'm pretty sure he's not saying anything because the "ladies" are friends.

God Bless America!

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:06:

Stop it you guys...Dan needs to stop the churning and get an attny. This is painful...and when your mind wanders on all the possiblities it can do much damage. Damage control Dan. Have something left over for a better person after all is done....She's not worth this energy. Puuurrr

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:06:

3 months is pretty good time.... one of her excuse's were wanting to be around other spanish speaking people and she didn't want to be around many gringos. my friends even tried to be friendly by hosting a get-together with some other friends so that they can get to know her... she stayed to herself and anytime anyone went to talk to her, she didn't say much and stuck her nose up at them.

God Bless America!

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mranderson says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:07:

Sounds like this divorce could get pretty ugly! All this talk about deporting and ruining people.

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:08:

.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Albatross says on Jan 3, 2008, 09:15:

Dan... yeah, you got screwed.

But to tell you the truth after reading your "I am lost now" post, it looks like you knew she was cheating on you while waiting for the visa in Colombia. You should have derailed her visa and left her ass right then and there.
(I know, love is blind and hindsight is always 20/20).

Move on... sometimes you gotta kiss a few frogs before you find a princess.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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Chelesupercono says on Jan 3, 2008, 12:23:

Just another self centered gold digger........

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 13:58:

Brians says on Thursday January 3rd, 2008 8:34:

Why wait? They can't take away citizenship and this is probably her best shot. Then she has all the benefits and could even move home for a few years and still come back. She could sponser her family. She wants it now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brians, while Full status US Citizenship is more secure then US Residency, they can REVOKE US Citizenship. Its not done often but one case that springs to mind is John Demjanjuk aka "Ivan the Terrible" who was a Head Torture Meister at the Treblinka Death Camp in WW2. He lived in Cleveland Ohio and was retired from Gen. Motors. He lied on his application concerning his past and he had his citizenship revoked. Another case in the not so distant past was a Miami Haitian who lied on his citizenship application concerning Human Rights Abuse in Haiti prior to coming to the USA. His was revoked and he was deported back to Haiti, never to return to the USA. A few Central American ex Military Hacks and Peruvian Maoists living in Miami also were Deported for the same reason. Their Citizenship was also revoked. While its unusual for citizenship to be revoked, by no means impossible.

Wendall-You are spot on with that statement "She will be educated by the Latin female Community" How true that is in Miami. A Friend of mine who married a Lawyer from BQA attempted to pull the "Abused Spouse Scam" 2 months after she was here. In actuality, it was a small verbal disagreement yet 9 Cops showed up at the house where the form was completed and a CC was given to her. The Charges were baseless as even the Woman's son testified for my Friend never so much as raised his hand, still you can see this was her Gameplan from Day One the fact she even attempted it. They divorced in 13 months or so and I beleive she got a reprieve or Resdiency as last I knew, she was still here. He didn't make enough Noise to the right people! LOL

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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wendell13 says on Jan 3, 2008, 14:21:

I have to admire what you did in your situation, Mike. In my case I didn't get after the INS like you did. She eventually went home to Colombia. She did the abuse thing, too. Went to the police in Miami and said that I abused her several months earlier and that I had threatened her family in Colombia.

None of which was true. In her complaint she listed some dates that I had threatened her family. Well, I had a good relationship with her family. I had just received two or three emails from her family in Colombia saying what a good guy I was and said that their daughter was a little wacky. And that they were sorry for what she had done.

Needless to say that didn't help her case. I was in another state but she was getting a lot of advice from latinas in Miami

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 14:31:

other than the one time my wife asked to delay the divorce until she got the 10yr visa, she told me specifically that she didn't want anything from me. No car, house, money, nothing... A little odd if you ask me.
wendell, you say that she was getting "advice" from her amigas and all they did was tell her lies that she believed and argued with me saying that I'm wrong and they were right when they didn't know the truth either.... they only pass on lies and keep the cycle going.
A little pathetic.

God Bless America!

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 14:43:

everyone is entitled to their own opinion here.
I did talk to her and explain things and even tried to provide proof that what I said was correct and her friends were not... and without even looking she dismissed everything as lies.

God Bless America!

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 15:41:

Something I just found out.... the guy she is with took her to Puerto Rico for vacation... found a whole bunch more photos... if anything goes sour... I have more stuff to get that guy with if he tries anything.

God Bless America!

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 15:49:

Your wife goes on a vacation and you don't know this?

t

"cook some rice!"

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:04:

Tony, It's coming out late and he has travelled for the armed services for months at a time. So she can get away. Also Dan and his wife have been on and off and estranged for about a year - she's living with her "Friend". Dan has posted this same problem and seeking the same advice almost a year ago Jan 2007.

Dan I greatly admire and respect and applaud all of our service men and women. Thank you so much.

However, you need to firm up and get this handled by professionals. Life is too short to skimp on Doctors, Lawyers and if you own a business or make lots of money, Accountants as well.

I don't like to see anyone get taken advantage of. You have been confronted with this for over a year. Time is wasting. Don't underestimate the power or capabilities of anyone. You are in a position to have the rest of your life screwed.

I agree that she needs to go back to Colombia. There are some guys who have gone through this already. You are being told what to do. You were already told what to do 1 year ago. For the love of God please do it already.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:10:

no I didn't know... she's with this other guy while I was in Afghanistan.

God Bless America!

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:12:

and I'm also finding out some pictures she forgot to get rid of.. that she's been seeing him not only before coming to the US, but also after one month... (perhaps even a week but that picture isn't much proof).

God Bless America!

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adnomal36 says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:12:

thanks for everything you have done Dan, sorry to hear what has happened to you, but this is just another battle, keep you head high soldier!!!

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miamimike says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:13:

Dan--Getting advice wouldn't be a bad Thing if it was Correct and Timely Info! These Female Latina "Street Attornies" are Wrong 99% of the time and the Advice seeker only gets into a deeper hole by following their Advice! They should at least seek out Info from someone who knows what they are talking about but this seldom is the case.

A Miami Beach Buddy of Mine, who is 100% Colombian and from Cali, had the same problem 5 years ago. His Caleña Wife took off with a Puerto Rican also, much to her dismay, it was the wrong decision and my Buddy moved on. She wanted to come back but the door was permently closed!

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:16:

Hmmm,

Well it seems everyone wants to do the lady dirty. However, it seems that this other fellow deserves everything plus more of what the Colombiana should get.

From where I sit he is just as culpable as she is. More so actually. Yet he is being treated with kid gloves. Why?

I know I would be really angry to find out that I had been served sloppy seconds and was sucking the officers dick by proxy. Yet he does nothing?

Baffles me.

t

"cook some rice!"

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:21:

There's a couple friends I have that are also officers so I'm going to talk to them in the next few days to see what I can do to protect myself and at least get her out of the country.

God Bless America!

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:23:

Carefull. Generally speaking; officers protect officers. They might put a bug in the mans ear about whats coming.

No doubt they knew what was going on already. Did they inform you?

t

"cook some rice!"

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adnomal36 says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:27:

lpdiver you have a point but you must keep in mind the officerr is his superior, and any physical action against him could put him in a far worst predicament. I say its best if Dan seeks professional advice and informs the officer's superiors of the situation.

P.S dont be afaraid to part ways with the women, not everything that glitters is gold, so be careful of the women you chose next time, plus this can happen to anyone so your not alone.

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:28:

The guy might have no idea that the wife is married. We have no idea what she is telling him. I mean if he does know or doesn't know or if it is legal or illegal in the eyes of the military who really cares?

Dan has a relationship with his wife, not the "Other guy". I can't see that he is cuplable - he's just getting laid. The wife is choosing this guy over Dan.

Tony no offense but I never understood the "If I come home and catch my wife in bed with some guy I'll kill the guy".

If I ever found my wife in bed with another guy, I'd shake his hand, get him a beer from the fridge, tell him to leave and then have it out with my wife (meaning I'm gone). EXCEPTION: If the guy is someone I know - then I have a problem with him.

Every red blooded male on the planet is going to want to sleep with my girl - let face it, she's always a stunner. If she strays with any of these guys I have a problem with her - not him. I''m not wasting my time and efforts on the dude - he's just being a dude.

How many girls have you doinked not knowing they were in a relationship and found out later? I've had a few and a few I knew had boyfriends before. She couldn't have been that serious with the "boyfriend" if she made the decision to roll in the hay with me.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:34:

I thought I'd stay out of this but why cause problems on the job? So this officer gets in trouble. What does that get you? Where is your benefit? I can see sticking it to the one who betrayed you. But why waste your time and efforts with this guy who was screwing a willing partner? You don't even know what he knows. He can always say he had no idea she was married - she told me she was single.

Where's the crime? And now you are going to TALK to other officers. You're going to focus your efforts on an area and start something that doesn't mean chit. Handle the wife as she is the real problem.

You never want to be with her again, let this guy have her. Agua que no has de beber, déjela correr.

If you involve him now he may help her and now you have two opponents. For what? You have NOTHING to gain by going after the buy.

Feel free to lambaste me. I know it's coming.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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john_stark says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:42:

You're right, Rocinante, a guy would boink any hot chick who's willing to spread 'em. God knows what she's said to the other guy. He didn't take any vow of fidelity to Dan - she did. Good riddance anyway.

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:44:

I never suggested any physical action. Legal action will hurt the dude worse.

If you bother to read the thread from the start you will see that the first advice I presented was get your divorce and move on. Her immigrant status is her problem. That is what I would have done.

However, new info just keeps popping up (kinda trollish but still amusing) and who know it may all be true. I know personally of situations similar so it could well be 100 percent true or 100 percent troll droppings.

In one of my former lifetimes I was a very vindictive person and I assure you I would have acted on those feelings. Why, to ruin an officers career and return a woman and a child into a worse place than they are now. I am ashamed to say I would have done so in a heartbeat.

For what? How will those actions improve Dans life?

Mama used to say, " Son if someone 'screws' you once, shame on that person. If they 'screws' you twice shame on you!"

Seems the original poster just keeps returning for more.

t

"cook some rice!"

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Dan says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:47:

If anything... going up to the guy and tell or even show the proof that I have may get him to be cooperative in helping to get her out of the country. The other officers I know are good friends of mine from church and other units. They know the situation I'm in and what's going on, I trust them. The guy she is with may not want the command to know what's been going on and ruin his career.

God Bless America!

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adnomal36 says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:47:

What if this Dan career? and he plans on retiring one day? smacking this chump is not he answer. He will lose his wife along with his career

if this was outside of work, by all means

The problem is having to deal with the rumors and talking amongst the other soldiers.

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adnomal36 says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:48:

too long to read from the start

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 16:52:

He has already lost his wife. Of course she would probably come back to him and feed him more sloppy seconds until she gets the card.

It's entirely his choice.

t

"cook some rice!"

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:02:

I hear ya GIB. But what's the hurry? The other guy doesn't know that Dan knows. Dan needs to keep his cards close to his chest and start the moves that he will need to do to protect himself financially and do the right thing - which is take care of the wife and get her out of the country without Dan having to pay $ for 10 years. This woman does not bleong in the US and if she does, let the new sucker from PR do the work.

If what you say is true that this needs to go up the ranks - well I don't know the army.

But the other guy can say "I didn't know she was married - we have been living together for almost a year". The wife can back that up - and under oath so can Dan - Case closed.

If the army needs to find out about this I'd WAIT a week or two until things were in motion and I KNEW ALL MY OPTIONS with the wife first. INSTEAD OF MAKING HASTY DECISIONS. Alerting this guy adds strength to her side and Dan loses the element of suprise. Collect information and make the moves once you know.

I guess I'm more calculated.

Also I don't know the army - so this is a special situation. I just hope the right thing gets done and I don't want Dan to get sidetracked with this other stuff and allow a loophole that the wife might be able to exploit.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:09:

"She needs to get out of your house and after that the next time I see you two together I am going to Command" , "The officer would have two choices. The Brigg or get the woman out of his house, TODAY!" - GIB

Let her stay with the guy. I don't get it? Dan's past this. Dan already changed the locks, froze accounts and such. He NEEDS to be seperated. He doesn't want her back - she's NO GOOD. The longer they stay together - the wife and the other guy - the better it is for Dan's case.

He neeeeeeeeeeeeeds to talk to a real good laywer first before jumping too quick and making a decision that bites him.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:12:

GIB - OK we agree that she needs to get out of the country. I didn't know talking to your CO would speed up that legal process. Lets leave it at that. I'm going to have a beer.

Dan, please don't let this woman.

1.) Stay in the country - get her out the way in such a way that she can't come back in unless someone else starts the process - square 1

2.) Make you pay for 10 years.

3.) Take other stuff not entitled to her.

She is cheating and should get "zip, zilch, nada!" - (Gene Wilder as Willly Wonka)

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:13:

He claims to have a lawyer and that his divorce is imminent.

He has been 'dealing' with this for over a year, no one is going to accuse him of rushing this matter.

t

"cook some rice!"

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Chelesupercono says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:15:

Go to where the Haitians live in Miami and for not alot of money she can fokin disappear......maybe $10k

never go to bed with someone crazier then you are, you will do it and you will regret it.......

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:16:

GIB - You got me there - Thats right I never served in the military and had to go through a divorce with a cheating immigrant Visa in progrgess wife who was cheating with a military officer while in the military.

Dan - don't listen to me as I am honestly not qualified and I'm not being sarcastic. Ok on to that beer.....

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:16:

Yup orphan a ten year old Colombian child! Great solotion.

t

"cook some rice!"

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rocinante says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:22:

GIB, As I was reading the "I agree..." - I thought you were going to say you agree about the beer!

LP this is not his child, the child was born in Col, is not adopted by dan and is not his reponsibility. The negligence against the child past, present or future is the fault of the mother, IMHO.

The mother and child go back to the way things were before.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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lpdiver says on Jan 3, 2008, 17:25:

I was commention on the suggestion that he have the mother whacked for ten grand.

t

"cook some rice!"

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CatGirl says on Jan 3, 2008, 22:47:

..

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Albatross says on Jan 4, 2008, 07:24:

GIB is 100% correct... an officer sleeping with and/or shacking up with an enlisted man's wife (especially if he is in the same chain-of-command) is subject to court-martial.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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jorgegdiaz says on Jan 4, 2008, 09:59:

Hey, Dan,
What`s HER story?

"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."Robert Orben

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