BlondeJamesBond has left 170 comments

BlondeJamesBond comments on Football

Carter No complaints whatsoever from any Everton fan about TC representing his country, to be expected of a player of his class and you will need him to rediscover top form if you are going to have a chance against Uruguay, just like us against Chelsea on Sunday, feels like mission impossible!!! . Just advise Hiddink to keep his trap shut in the future - you know how tribal us footy fans can get ;-)

Gomezman5

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Fifa rankings may be used to fill up some column inches when there is bugger all else to talk about, but let me assure you that I, and I would guess 99% of football fans on the street, couldn't give a monkeys.

I find Fifa rankings as interesting and relevant as I would a daily report on what Tim Cahill had for breakfast, all i'm interested in, and all that matters, is how he performs on the pitch.

All that matters for international teams is how they perform in competetive qualifying matches and even more crucially in World Cups, that is it! - if you cannot acknowledge this simple to grasp fact then it is clear your interest in football is passive not passionate and you may therefore continue to use terms like ‘goaltender‘ and ‘soccer‘, so that we know where we stand.

As far as whose footballing association is better?!?! Who really cares? UEFA is blah blah blah against CONCACAF blah blah blah, As long as England are good, again, this is all I care about, I'm sure Carter is only interested in the performance of Austrailia, you Gman in the USA, and perhaps all of us share a little side interest in the fortunes of Colombia...the rest is just hot air and conjecture.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Football

... Just to clear things up, France have qualified and Israel are out.

You can check the teams that are guaranteed to be at the WC here:

http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/06/en/t/team/qualified.html

Personally, I think it's a bit of a travesty that so many African teams are going while South America in the shape of Colombia look under-represented.

Quindioman - Davey Moyes DID win the 'manager of the year' award last season, ahead of your very own Jose Mourinho. Cahill 'was all that' last season, but as I've said after a summer of non-stop football representing Austrailia he is looking very jaded and was poor again against Tottenham on Saturday. Chelsea are the unstoppable force, although I have no doubt we will somehow pull out a performance and beat you next Sunday!!! Cahill to grab the winner???

GMan - I'm glad the FIFA rankings mean something to you and that you take some satisfaction from USA being ahead of England on it, but i've never discussed FIFA rankings with anybody, except with you on here, since I left school. Come a competetive World Cup match they count for nothing.

LOL, I must admit to feeling quite prophetic with my choice of username, now that they've made Daniel Craig the new Bond (I would suggest you all watch Layer Cake, which he stars in, great film), no inside knowledge though i'm afraid.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Football

Carter I know you don't use terms like 'goaltender' so i'm not going to have to nurse you through this ;-)

The Premiership season has just started, we, Everton, are not going to get relegated, and Cahill is not going anywhere, need to get this out of the way first and foremost.

In Cahill's own words he felt "physically sick" after travelling to and from your Solomon Islands match, it was a 40 hour round trip or something like that. The guy has been playing top-flight football non-stop for almost 2 years, he looks knackered and is a comparative shadow of the player he was last season - Trust me I watch him week in, week out, I know this to be the case - It is in Everton's AND Austrailia's best interests that he is given the chance to grab a rest whenever he can, instead of being forced to report for another meaningless friendly, this is where my Hiddink is being short-sighted comment came from.

What really got to us though, and where the resentment comes from, was not the request for TC to report for international duty, even us pommies can't really complain about that, it was Hiddink's unprofessional, sulky, whinging comments about our position in the Premiership afterwards, he should have know alot better than that.

So I personally am hoping Uruguay dump Hiddink out, although it would be nice for England to meet you 'Socceroos' at the WC and thrash you in football as well as the cricket :-)

BlondeJamesBond comments on Football

Tinto Yup.

The Manchester Bucanneers

...and it's just polite to call their ground "SOld Trafford" nowadays!

Chanting "U - S - A" "U - S - A" at their fans is also commonplace at matches (to clarify for those unfamiliar, this is not done as rampant anti-americanism, it's just for the pleasure of winding United supporters up over the Glazer situation!)

BlondeJamesBond comments on

Posted on Wrong Thread.

Dogs - Man's best friend.

Carry on.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Football

Kernow
Yep i'm a Toffee all the way.

As it goes I've lived in London all my life so I guess that makes me a 'southern fairy' too ;-D. There is no obvious reason why i've always supported them except to quote our famous saying:

"Evertonians are born not manufactured, we do not choose, we are chosen, those who understand need no explanation, those who don’t, don’t matter."

As it goes i'm going to the match against Tottenham on Saturday, one thing a football loving Brit must miss badly when living abroad is not being able to get to the games of their team - even if they seem to support Manure as in your case Kernow. :-p

BlondeJamesBond comments on Football

Speaking as an Everton fan I hope Uruguay beat Austrailia after the rubbish Hiddink spouted about us over Tim Cahill(Everton and Austrailia's best player). I would have much prefered Colombia to take revenge on the whinging, short-sighted Dutch chump, but Uruguay will have to make do.

Hard luck on Colombia, really wanted them to get there.

BlondeJamesBond comments on

Dog Day This afternoon in London a dog was shot three times as it protected its owner from a street mugging.

Clearly today was not a good day to be a canine of the species.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Misc Jokes

... A man walked into a bar

broke 2 ribs

It was an iron bar.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Misc Jokes

... Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six-pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach standing there. This time he was knee'd in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then he left.

The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug beat the crap out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor. The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights. "What can I do?" he pleaded.

"Not much" answered the doctor. "There's just a nasty bug going around."

BlondeJamesBond comments on Misc Jokes

Man goes to the Doctor

"Doctor, I've got a piece of lettuce stuck up my backside!"

"Right, bend over". Says the Doctor. "Mmmmmm, tut, tut, tut."

"What? Is it serious Doc?"

"Well sir..........I'm afraid this is just the tip of the iceberg."

BlondeJamesBond comments on Misc Jokes

Hunter You're welcome!

A woman walks in to a bar and the barman says "Yes love, what can I get you?"

"I'll have a Double Entendre." says the woman.

So he gave her one.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Misc Jokes

Funny true story. Email I recieved:

Bricklayer's Accident Report ~

Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.


I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Bill Fuller

BlondeJamesBond comments on Misc Jokes

Apologies in advance too... Probably been doing the rounds but haven't seen it on here.

Q: What is George Bush's position on Roe v Wade?

A: He didn't care how people got out of New Orleans!

....sorry again!

BlondeJamesBond comments on Bull fighting

Right or Wrong? Playing the devils advocate with a member of PETA recently ( can be good fun with one of those lunatics ) I came up with the idea that seeing as the bull is going to be turned into a nice juicy steak anyway, giving it a chance to fight to remain off your dinner plate is actually quite sporting.

If I were a bull I'd want a nice tear up before I met my maker, got to be better than standing on a conveyor belt and getting electrocuted to death.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Colombia and the Spanish connection.

Bat 'n' Ball antics Cricket is an awesome sport in which England reign supreme!

Baseball is a slightly glorified version of what we over here call rounders - and that is ONLY played by little school girls.

Basketball is just girly little Netball on steroids.

Rugby is a much tougher sport than American Football, those big fat blokes who play 'gridiron' would have a heart attact 5 minutes into a good game of rugger!

BlondeJamesBond comments on Colombian radio

Top stuff Kernow

Just listening to a woman talking about Kate Moss and her cocaine problem!

Nice one.

BlondeJamesBond comments on A Question; How many PBH Posters belong to that other Colombia Forum-Index

Quick perusal of that site makes me think that the only thing that would put me off going to Colombia is not the war, murder stats, etc It's the scumbag foreigners from the U.S./UK who go over there - they're talking about taking girls into their rooms and raping them!!!

Makes you appreciate PBH even more

Perhaps Kerry could pack his bags from here and bugger off over there, it looks perfect for him.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Hi FRIENDS. ARMacleod, (AKA JVH) Home again.

*I would be spending time trying to make my Colombian wife that much more content. But Kernow says to himself, forget about my wife*

Strikes me that you are the one doing the insulting, which kind of fly's in the face of JVH's words "I do wish that the site members would select their words more carefully before replying in haste to something read; Remember the section is named ‘Friendly Talkzone', I am sure no one posts initially to make enemies, or to have out of control verbal sparring matches."

Just something I noticed (G5)

BTW It was perfectly clear, even to a blind man and his dog, that Kernow was actually paying you a compliment.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Hi FRIENDS. ARMacleod, (AKA JVH) Home again.

(G5) *To you Marcos, my heartfelt thanks again and I will always be in your debt.*

Noticed first time - and, I may add, credit where it is due, good job G5.

*Of course you did not notice anything insulting in Kernow's post*

Very true, because there was nothing insulting in his post to notice.

Lighten up fella, you'll enjoy it.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Hi FRIENDS. ARMacleod, (AKA JVH) Home again.

Couldn't agree more C4C, JVH/ARM's postings are very easy on the eye.

Am I the only one who doesn't detect an insult in Kernow's last post, except for the obvious insult of using the words "fine work" and "kerry" in the same sentance?

BlondeJamesBond comments on For you guys and gals

*now that sounds like the type of women greenday goes after, he freaks everytime he sees a sexy girl with tattoes smoking and dancing reggaeton i wonder what he thinks when he sees one of those girls covered head to toe en esos trapos negros??*

LMFAO

"phwoooooooooooooar, look at the stitching on that"

BlondeJamesBond comments on For you guys and gals

Adapting to Islam Let me think about it.....

No Alcohol

No Ham/Bacon/Pepperoni

Women covered head to toe in black sacks


....not for me thanks!

BlondeJamesBond comments on Stratas??? Can someone please explain...

PM'd you mate.

I'm sure you'll agree, if you've been there, it's looks and almost certainly is in general, worse than the place in those photos.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Stratas??? Can someone please explain...

quindioman

BlondeJamesBond comments on Stratas??? Can someone please explain...

Seedy and Dangerous? Interesting.

The place in those photos looks like an area at least 10 x better than the area of London I live in right now.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Do you carry a weapon when you travel? Would you like to?

quindioman I see your point.

However, if the alternative is to be like here in England where thieves are given a pat on the back and a cigar, you have to say, they may be onto something in Sabaneta.

Death is perhaps a bit extreme, a proper good kicking should suffice.

BlondeJamesBond comments on

Dan That was the best one I heard today.

Here's another one, modified for Colombian amusement



Three expectant fathers are waiting in the hospital for news of the babies. One is a Colombian, one is a Venezuelan and the other is a Gringo.

A nurse walks out and brings all three together and says that there has been a mix up with the babies and that they will have to take their pick of the 3 babies lined up in the next room.

The Colombian says he will go first and picks up the light skinned baby, to which the Gringo says, "I think you will find that one is mine", the Colombian replies " You are right but one of those two is a Venezuelan and I'm not taking any chances"

BlondeJamesBond comments on

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.


After several drinks, one of the men had to use the bathroom. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."


The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday".


The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. A 30,000 square foot mansion."


The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the bathroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."


The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends

BlondeJamesBond comments on what do you think about the "REGGAETON"

No problem GD You're welcome kiddo.

BlondeJamesBond comments on what do you think about the "REGGAETON"

BTW: Blonde James Bond...what's an LP?? Greenday - you don't know what an LP is?? Are you still using a gramophone or are you tuning into golden oldie music stations on the old wireless. ;-D

"mmmmmm Smithers, I very much enjoyed this 'iced' cream."

LP = Vinyl. Many musical aficionados will argue that you get a clearer, crisper, more pure sound from vinyl than you do from a CD.

DJ's, you know, those fellas in the clubs creating lots of noise, they tend to use LP's/vinyl to mix their tunes

All musical tastes are catered for on the LP format, just pop into your nearest HMV. You can get your Frank Sinatra on LP, or, and you're not going to believe this, Reggaeton tunes are also available on vinyl.

Enjoy

BlondeJamesBond comments on MY synopsizes on my THREAD

BJB - Replies to adrimm LOL. Assures her that she is not the only one who should be working and not posting.

BlondeJamesBond comments on MY synopsizes on my THREAD

BJB - Wonders why he read this thread when the original was tedious enough. Suspects too much time on hands. Cheerfully corrects the spelling of synopsis.

BlondeJamesBond comments on ColombianoX No Longer with Us

My almost indifferent thoughts
Calipro - you, and indeed anyone, shouldn't be having a go at Desi for telling what are essentially, "Essex girl" jokes (as we Brits would call them), rehashed for Pereira.

Desi - I don't have a problem with viewing photo's of Calipro's girls, if they didn't want their photo's to be used they shouldn't let the pictures be taken in the first place - it doesn't ever look like they are ignorant to what is going on - they don't look like whores either. Frankly, if the guy prefers his current lifestyle (player, if that what you want to call it) to a semi detached house, a wife, two kids and a dog then good on him and leave him to it.

A classic example of a storm in a tea cup - you two should be pals really.

As for ColX - I think he took any criticism a little too personally, my only inadvertent "clash" with him came when I tried to advise him not to grass up drug dealers, on health and safety grounds. He was an entertaining poster for sure and it will be a little duller around here without him, just as it has been since JamesVH departed.

As for Cockney Colombian and cockney_colombian they are both entertaining posters IMO

Forget all this anyway, I'm really not that bothered, I'm just killing time until the Premiership season starts in half an hour, Everton to hammer Man United!!!!! - keeping this related to Colombia, Juan Pablo Angel plays for Villa.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Colombian women sprinters to final in relays

Speaking of gringos running towards women at the World Athletics Championship

http://tinypic.com/678gnl

BlondeJamesBond comments on

Couple I heard today A man is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather attractive lady behind him has just raised her hand and smiled
hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so
he says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children !"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful,
"Christ! " he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I screwed on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your friend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my at rse"

" No" she replies, "I'm your sons' English Teacher "



-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why did the Woodpecker fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Peter what about an IGNORE feature

*does the name start with an M.?*

If it does, it finishes with an 'aleorange' right?

BlondeJamesBond comments on Great news!! Mexico, NOT Colombia, is now the TOP SUPPLIER of U.S. Drugs!!

I believe this article shows that in the "biggest reorganization of the trade" Colombians are letting Mexicans take care of drug distribution to the U.S to a greater extent - probably because they are so damned effective and parties from both countries make more money this way.

Great news on the loss of label though - congratulations

BlondeJamesBond comments on IRA and Colombia

Unfortunately I would suggest the official break up of the IRA may actually help group's like the FARC.

The IRA are no longer a terrorist organization, but I believe it was a former minister to Northern Ireland who stated recently that they now comprise one of the most sophisticated organised crime networks in Europe, if not the World!

All those highly trained IRA killers are not going to turn into good guys just because the leadership tells them to do so.

No, I fancy they will go freelance and sell their skills and weapons contacts to the highest bidder - I hear narcos pay very well.

BlondeJamesBond comments on cockney on C4 news LOL!

Euro '96 Great great day and I was a little deflated I didn't get on TV - although to be fair I was hanging around outside the stadium with some mates, listening to the match on the radio!!!! So perhaps the tv crew realized I was talking rubbish!!!!!

BlondeJamesBond comments on cockney on C4 news LOL!

cockney Hadn't heard it was 8 shots - Every new detail I hear about it makes it sound more farcical.

What are our police and intelligence services coming to when they can mark out a Brazilian as a suicide bomber!?!?!

BlondeJamesBond comments on cockney on C4 news LOL!

Tinto More worrying than that.

The Police had 'intelligence' that someone where that Brazilian lived was a terror suspect.

They saw the Brazilian leave his home

Plain clothes police followed him to the station

When he went to board the train, they whipped out their machine guns, poor Brazilian bloke falls over, they pin him down and put 5 in the back of his head!

If a gang of non-uniformed blokes pulled machine gun's on me in London, I'd try and make a run for it too

BlondeJamesBond comments on cockney on C4 news LOL!

Cockney Yeah, I know about those news guy's editing - as a 15 year old I gave an in-depth, 2 minute interview on England's 4-1 win over Holland during Euro '96 after being stopped outside Wembley - they never used it, B'stard's!!!!!!

BlondeJamesBond comments on cockney on C4 news LOL!

Kat1 Good choice ;-D (I've never been so glad to be blonde, than I am right now while I live in London!)

BlondeJamesBond comments on what do you think about the "REGGAETON"

My Reggaeton Story After watching this thread get somewhat heated and out of hand(and LMFAO about it), I just had to find out what all the fuss was about.

So I asked a friend who I thought would know about these things what the score was.

I had assumed Reggaeton was just the full name for Reggae when I first started reading this - I hate Reggae can't stand it - even Bob Marley was one over-rated mofo IMHO.

However, my friend assured me it wasn't anything like Reggae and copied me some CD's to listen to.

I've listened to them, thoroughly enjoyed them (despite not really understanding the lyrics) and have come to the conclusion that anyone who would make generalizations, like the ones that have been made on this thread, must be past retirement age.

Even me with my two left feet can tell it makes great music to dance to. So you may be an old man sat there waving your walking stick at us "young 'un's" saying how morally bankrupt we all are for listening to this music, and specifically generalising about the women who listen to it, but I can categorically say you are talking about what you do not know and should stick to your Frank Sinatra LP's so as to no longer offend your own delicate sensibilities.

BlondeJamesBond comments on cockney on C4 news LOL!

Can't agree with your views cockney, but damn you look like an Arab!!

The police in London aren't exactly being praised right now for distinguishing between South Americans and suicide bombers! Be careful before they put 5 in your head!

BlondeJamesBond comments on giving children english names

MacGringo Sam Francisco - that is flippin' hilarious! Those parents were just having a laugh at that kid's expense, or maybe they beat the Beckhams to name their nipper in the place they concieved him!

BlondeJamesBond comments on giving children english names

Don't know if they are pullin Not sure if they are pulling my leg, but someone I know in Germany say's they know a Wolfgang Pees, or Herr Pees on a formal basis!

Also known a James James James!

BlondeJamesBond comments on Why are we, Colombians, so freakin' neat?

Kernow LMFAO.

I saw a lady buying toothpaste in the supermarket last night and assumed she wasn't Canadian.

BlondeJamesBond comments on Advice from the Latinos

Sylvie *Which boyfriend of mine are you talking about? DO you know something that I don't? hahaha*

I don't get it? It's in bad taste to laugh at your own jokes, don't you know.